The Divine Whisper (40 page)

CHAPTER 20

Won’t that kid ever shut up!?

Gemariah pulled the pillow over his head and tried to block out the sound. He didn’t know what was worse, the crying or the constant negative thoughts running through his head.

The more days that passed, the more he thought that he wasn’t cut out to be a dad.
They had all come home from the hospital a couple days after the babies were born. The doctors were baffled how babies that were born so early could be in such good condition, and they had no reason to keep any of them there. It was when they came home that his thoughts and his mood had turned dark.

They always cried, and it wasn’t ever just one.
When one cried, it woke up the other. As if on cue, the crying seemed to echo through the monitor, and he knew they were both testing out their lungs. They didn’t need to. He could tell them, with perfect clarity, that nothing was wrong with their pipes.

The house constantly smelled like talcum powder and that overall baby smell that he had once found so comforting.
That was before those things invaded his home; things that had unknowns coming out both ends and constantly cried in the middle of the night, successfully keeping him awake.

The bed moved next to him and Nicole lightly groaned in frustration.

He knew that she had to be tired, especially only coming to bed a couple hours ago, after another feeding.
I should probably take this round and just heat up some of the stored milk
, he thought.

Why should it be you that gets up?
It’s not like she has to get up and go anywhere tomorrow. She gets to sleep when they do, and you have important stuff to do in the morning. In fact, she’s probably faking being asleep so you’ll get up first.

He felt the familiar anger build in his chest.
It’s true
, he thought.
All of it.
Why should it be him?

He punched the pillow back under his head and adjusted on the bed.
A hand on his bicep halted his progress.

“Don’t worry.
I got it. I was just procrastinating a few moments, silently hoping that they would go back to sleep on their own.” She chuckled humorlessly. “I should have known better.”

He felt the bed dip slightly, and knew that she had sat up and moved to the side of the bed, yet he didn’t say anything.
After a moment’s pause, he heard her sigh and then get up and walk out of the room.

He laid there and listened to her walk in the nursery, through the monitor.

“What are my little angels doing up again. It’s alright, don’t cry.”

Little angels… yeah right.

He ignored the thoughts floating around in his head and listened to Nicole as she cooed their children back to sleep.
Her voice didn’t show any of the tiredness he knew she was feeling. It was just as soothing as ever; a sweet melody he never wanted to end.

He felt like a jerk.
He knew how exhausted she was, he could feel it, but he still chose to let her be the one to get up. Thinking of that, he wondered if she had felt any of the anger he had only minutes before. He suddenly felt even worse. She didn’t deserve that.

It’s her fault.
You’ve done nothing if not be there for her whenever she needed you. Yet, she still denies you your right as a connected partner. If she would just open her legs to you, maybe you wouldn’t be so strung out.

That’s right
, he thought, but then quickly denied it. He would love it if she gave him the go ahead, but he knew that it wasn’t the cause of him being so stressed.

It
was
slowly killing him to lie next to her every night without being able to touch her. The way he was feeling just might be her fault.
No it wasn’t
, he thought adamantly.

With a groan, he rolled over onto his stomach and brought the pillow once again over his head to block out his contradictory thoughts.

******

Ramiel laid silently on the rooftop, one arm behind his head and the other holding a blade of grass between his lips.

That was getting too easy
, he thought.

That little shit of a great-grandson had been a thorn in his side for too long, and it was time that he was knocked down a few pegs. What a better way than to have him destroy the illusion of a family he tried to create?

Gemariah had ruined so many operations the other fallen ones and him had started, the last one being a big one that came back to bite him in the ass. Not to mention his part in taking down Azazel either. Except in Ramiel’s opinion, Azazel had it coming. He had grown too cocky and aggressive, ultimately resulting in his ruin. Ramiel smiled. He on the other hand liked to work more… internally.

Needless to say, the others were not happy and wanted blood, and blood was something he never had a problem getting.

There was one thing standing in his way; that little bitch of a woman walking around in the house below him.
She had Gemariah second guessing the thoughts he was taking time to give him. There was an influence that she had over him that was hard to crack.
Hard, but not impossible
, he thought with a grin.

Ramiel looked up at the sky.
Being up that high and away from the hustle of the world below made him think that he wasn’t so far from where he really wanted to be. Then he took a deep breath, and the stink brought it all back. What he wouldn’t do to be back up in heaven where the smell from Earth couldn’t penetrate. The world was filled with billions of humans that were all slowly dying, and the smell of rotting flesh eventually got tiring.

Putting his arms out to each side, he re-crossed his legs and laid still.
He pictured himself crucified in that position, and the thought brought in a fresh wave of anger. It wasn’t fair how these measly, fragile humans had God’s grace no matter what they did, but he couldn’t be forgiven for a few hundred souls he took and corrupted.

There was a misconception that the other fallen angels and him hated God.
That couldn’t be farther from the truth. How can you hate who created you? He loved God, but his resentment was just as strong. He wanted to return to the side of his creator, but a large part of him couldn’t let go to what he had become accustomed to all the years on the rock. Oh, how much fun it was to be puppet master to the little pets. That was what he thought of the human race, things put there for his own amusement.

Now, his latest source of entertainment was his very own great-grandson.
Oh how he would enjoy watching him fall from that high horse he sits upon. That little blonde better watch her step. He had worked hard to break her all those years ago, and thought he had succeeded, but obviously, he was wrong. If she screwed up his plans, she would wish that she had stayed broken.

CHAPTER 21

“Shhh…”
Nicole walked around slightly bouncing the cradle in her arms. “Hush little baby, don’t you cry. Mamma really wants you to shut your eyes,” she sang.

In response, the baby let out a wail loud enough to make her cringe.

“Oh, you are going to be as stubborn as your father, I see.”

The baby looked up at her and gurgled which made her sigh.
“I know, I miss him too.”

As if on cue, a door slammed shut, and Alexander started crying again which cause Issy, who had been sleeping in a bouncer by the couch, to start startle awake and start crying as well.
Nicole hunched her shoulders and sighed in exhaustion. It felt like it had taken her forever to get the babies as relaxed as they were.

Looking at the clock, she saw that it was around mid-day and assumed that Gemariah was home for lunch.
It was a bit surprising since he hardly spent any time at home anymore.

He came into the kitchen and halted once he saw her standing in the living room.
She was about to lay into him for being so loud, but then she saw the look on his face. He looked almost sad as he looked at her and the kids. She knew that he was going through something, she could feel the change in him, but he wouldn’t talk to her about any of it. Quickly, he looked away and mumbled, “I just… I forgot something. I’ll be quick.” He then walked through the kitchen, and into the living room, but tried to stay as far away from them as he passed.

She had enough.
She quickly stepped forward and grabbed his arm to stop him. “Gemariah, this has got to stop.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, but still wouldn’t look at her.

“Don’t play stupid. You know what I’m talking about! We never see you anymore. Do you want your children to think of you as a stranger?”

Smiling at her as if she were a child herself, he patted the hand that was still on his arm.
“Don’t be so dramatic. I’ve just been busy.” He gently removed her hand, and turned to walk away again.

“Don’t you patronize me!” she yelled.
“We’re connected, remember? Or had you forgotten? If you don’t want us anymore, just say the word and we’re gone. I say ‘we’ because the children and I are a package deal. If you don’t want
them
, you don’t get me!”

He had stopped when she first started to yell, and quickly looked back at her as if she had gone crazy.
“You think I don’t want you?” he asked almost in shock.

“If that’s not it, you have to give me something here.
Something’s off. What is it?”

He marched over to stand back in front of her.
“I’m scared out of my fucking mind! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“It’s a start!”
At her raised voice, the babies that had stopped crying became restless, so she continued in a lower voice. “What exactly are you afraid of?”

“Everything!
You don’t know what it’s like to have a darkness inside you that eats away at you day by day. What if I finally flip out and hurt them? They’re so small, and I’m so big, I could crush them!”

“That’s ridiculous.”
Without a second thought, she shoved Alexander into his arms. As if on instinct, Gemariah gently brought in the baby close to his chest. Nicole marched over to Issy, and after unbuckling her, picked her up and did the same with their baby girl.

Gemariah cradled both babies to his chest and Nicole watched as a small tremor went through his body.
She looked down to both babies to see that they had both calmed down considerably. “See,” she said, “They know who their daddy is. Your blood is running through them. They are a piece of you. I know, just as they do, that you would never harm them.”

“You know better than anyone that blood doesn’t matter.”

She thought back to her own father, and nodded slightly. “There’s a difference though. I never had my father’s heart.” She reached out a hand and caressed the soft head of their daughter. “These two beings are separate pieces of
your
heart living outside your body. Do you deny it?” she asked softly.

He was looking down at them, and she saw some of the tension leave his shoulders.
“No, I can’t deny it,” he whispered before leaning down to lightly kiss their boy’s forehead.

Nicole took a step back, giving the three of them a moment, and smiled.
She watched as he lightly bounced them, and cooed loving words down to them. He hadn’t been that close to them since the hospital.

“Hmmm…” she purred.
“There’s nothing sexier than a big, strong man being a good dad.”

He looked over at her, and a corner of his mouth lifted into a mischievous grin.
“Nothing?” he asked.

After a thought, she grinned back at him.
“I can think of one thing. A big strong man, being a good dad while Mommy gets to finally take a shower… now that is
really
sexy.”

“What do I get in return?”

“My love and devotion?”

The sadness was slowly leaving his eyes when he looked back at her.
“I thought I already had that.”

“Always and forever, but now you’ll get it without being covered in baby spit-up.”

He laughed and nodded towards the bathroom. “Go. Enjoy yourself,” he said.

She hesitated for a second wondering if everything would be alright without her there.
After all, he hadn’t been around the children that much for almost two weeks. What if they needed her, and she wasn’t there?

He must have felt all the doubt that was swarming within her, because she then felt Gemariah’s familiar impression course through her.

It’s alright, I got this.
We’ll be fine, but I’ll come get you if we’re not. Go take care of yourself.

He had already turned to walk over to the couch.
The babies were quiet, and so she high-tailed it to the bathroom before she could be stopped.

Turning on the shower, she kept an ear out to make sure no babies were crying, and then one more time before she stepped in.
Once the warm water hit her back, she let out a deep groan. She was a goner.

You keep making sounds like that and I won’t be responsible for my actions.

She laughed at Gemariah’s playfulness.
It had taken her a little while to get used to becoming a Nephilim, and all the things it entailed, but she was slowly getting used to the idea.

The strength was nice.
It wasn’t to where she had a problem doing ordinary things, but when she needed it, it was there. Projection was great. She could talk to Gemariah or even Trinity whenever she wanted, even when her arms were full or hands were busy.

The one thing she hadn’t used yet was her ability to control emotions.
Part of her felt that it was wrong, because it was as if she would be taking away someone else’s control.

The episode were she tested her ability out on Trinity still scared her.
She understood that it was different since it would be her own power and not sourcing it from her children. Therefore, she would have more control, but it still scared her.

The healing was nice.
Gemariah had been right; she had no lasting soreness from childbirth. There was no stopping her from being intimate with him, but it was her shyness and insecurity that was getting in her way. Biting her bottom lip, she got a burst of courage while washing herself and slid her hand up to pinch her nipple. The pleasure was instantaneous.

Grrrr…. Watch it, Woman.

She smiled to herself. She loved that Gemariah could feel everything that she did. It was a connection that she just wasn’t ready to block yet.

When she was done, she turned off the water and stepped out.
She listened, but still didn’t hear anything out of the ordinary. She ran a brush through her hair and dried off the best she could. Looking around, she realized that she rushed in there without grabbing any clothes. She wrapped the towel around her and swallowed down her nerves before leaving the bathroom.

Luckily, the room was empty.
Quickly, she went to the dresser and found a tank top before dropping her towel to put it on. She then reached into her underwear drawer and pulled out the first pair of panties she saw. She pulled them on and felt marginally better as she hunched down to look for her jeans. It was then that the door opened.

“I got the kids to fall asleep and put them both in a crib together.
I’ve seen that they sleep… better… like that.” His words as well as his steps slowed once he saw her, but he quickly recovered and looked away. “Sorry. I thought you were still in the bathroom.”

She felt her nerves kick into full gear, as well as a hint of anticipation.
It's time
, she thought. The kids were sleeping, there was nothing standing in their way.

Confidently, she stood up and walked over to him.
Once she was in front of him, she reached out and placed a hand against his chest. One of his own came up to cover it, but he still wouldn’t look at her.

“Won’t you look at me?”

He shook his head. “You’re playing with fire here, Tink. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself if I see you looking like that again.”

She smiled with more bravado than before.
“Is that a bad thing?”

He took a deep breath and she felt his chest slide underneath her palm.
“Um… work. I have to go to work.”

“Do you have anything detrimental going on right now?”

“You know what I do, now. Everything is detrimental.”

Nicole could feel how much he was holding back and she needed him to let it go.
It was a need she couldn’t explain, but wasn’t about to ignore.

Taking matters into her own hands, she decided to contact the one person that would give Gemariah no more excuses.

Malachi, Gemariah won’t be coming back in today.

He was quick to answer back, and she could feel the humor in his response.

Okay, do me a favor and let him come back in one piece.

She smiled.
I can’t make any promises.

You go, girl.

Nicole eyes opened wide in surprise after Tori projection came through, and that was before Trinity’s and Conner’s.

Hell yeah!

Lucky son of a bitch!

Gemariah’s voice came through, and she was a little overwhelmed at the conversation going on inside her head.

Careful, that’s your mother too, you’re talking about.

Figure of speech, Brother.
Figure of speech…

“What the hell, just happened there?” Nicole asked.

“You projected to everyone that can hear you, not just Malachi.” He was now looking at her with a wicked grin, but she quickly buried her flaming face in his shirt.

“I swear I’m going to die of embarrassment.”

She felt his strong arms wrap around her. “Don’t worry. They’ll forget about it in a decade or two.”

She looked lovingly back up at him, only that time they were pressed against each other, chest to chest.

“Now that you got me to yourself for the rest of the day, what do you plan on doing with me?” he asked.

She didn’t answer him, but instead reached up and pulled his head down to press his mouth against hers.
Their kiss was breath taking, even though their lips were barely touching. It was extremely gentle, but Nicole wasn’t looking for gentle.

Pulling back, she reached down to the hem of his shirt and yanked up.
He quickly complied, and helped her pull it over his head. Once it was off, she threw it behind her to the floor and stood back to take a good look.

He looked like someone she could have only dreamt up; muscles everywhere, smooth tanned skin.
If it wasn’t for the occasional scar, she would have sworn that he was carved from stone. He was absolutely…

Delicious…

“You look pretty scrumptious yourself. Do you wanna come a little closer so I can start my feast?”

She took a fortifying breath for courage, looked into his eyes, and kept her feet planted, even though she wanted more than anything to rush into his arms.
She was extremely inexperienced at it all, especially compared to him, so she had to prove it to him, and to herself, that she would be enough for him in their lifetime. “Actually,” she said with more confidence than she felt. “I would like to try something.”

He looked a little off balance, but still opened his arms wide and said, “I’m all yours.”

She liked the double meaning, and remembered that he probably had a good idea at everything she was feeling.

“Ok, no touching,” she said with a grin as she approached him.

Once she got there, she brought both hands up and smoothed them over his chest and back over his shoulders.

He let out a long groan in satisfaction.

Leaning forward, she kissed the tattoo that wrapped over his right shoulder and ran her finger tips over the lines. “What is this?” she asked.