The Divine Whisper (11 page)

“About a week.
Are we done with the third degree?”

His tone had Nicole standing up to face him.
Placing her hands on her hips, she rounded on him. “No, we are not done. My job here is to make sure Shane is living in a nice, safe environment. You have to answer as many questions as I feel like asking.”

Benjamin took a menacing step towards her.
He looked like he was about to go off, but after what looked like an inner struggle, he reined in his temper. With clenched teeth, he grated, “No one asked you to come here. This is my house, and I can do what I want.”

She pinched her lips together, but then took in a deep breath to calm herself.
“No you didn’t ask me to be here. I’m here because when we were investigating mysterious bruises on your son a few months ago, I came and found your house unfit. You were within an inch of being condemned, and I am here to make sure that you are following through with your promise to take better care of your son, or you will lose him.” Raising her eyebrows, she looked at him expectantly. “Are we on the same page now?”

He looked even more irritated than before, but instead of talking, he chose to keep his mouth shut and nod.
Considering the matter closed, she continued with their discussion. “Until the heat is fixed, I would like to see a heater in Shane’s bedroom as well. It’s already colder down there because of the garage, so he needs something to help keep him warm.”

Walking over, she inspected the space heater in the living room.
Tilting it sideways, she read the instructions on the side of the machine. “You know these specific heaters cannot run all day. They could easily start a fire.” Standing up, she faced Benjamin once more. “When did you say the furnace would get fixed?”

It looked as if he were grinding his teeth.
“Next week.”

“Okay, I’m going to have to stop by again then to make sure, but as long as the temperatures outside don’t drop any further and you do your best to keep everyone warm, I’ll say its okay that you stay.”

“You’re too kind.”

She chose to ignore his sarcastic tone, and made her way over to her bag where her papers were located.
Pulling out her checklist, she started going down the list of what she found. “For the most part, the house looks very well kept up, so I commend you on that part.”

She looked up to see what their reaction to her comment was, only to find that Evelyn and Benjamin were both captivated on the television now.
It was only Shane that was paying any attention to her.

Reaching down to the coffee table, she grabbed the remote to the television.
Pointing it at the screen, she clicked it off.

“What the hell!”

“Hey!”

Both objections were snapped at the same time, blending their words together.

Placing the remote across the room from them, she turned back around and squared her shoulders. This was where she had to muster up all the bravado she could manage. She hated confrontation, but sometimes it was unavoidable.

“I just need your attention for five more minutes, and then you can do whatever you want.
For now though, you need to focus on me.” She pointed to herself to emphasize her point. “

They grudgingly complied and slouched back on the couch to listen.
With raised eyebrows, Benjamin silently asked, “What are you waiting for?”

Shrugging off their impatient attitudes, Nicole focused back on her list.
“First things first, you need to get the washer fixed, and bring in a professional to clean up the mess and determine the damage already done. Having mold in the house is not acceptable. Secondly—”

“Do you understand how much that will cost?
We don’t have that type of money.”

Nicole calmly looked over to Benjamin after his outburst.
“You can always apply for assistance, and in fact, I recommend it. Now, secondly…” She broke eye contact, and looked back down at her paper. When seeing where she was, she glared at the two adults. “The master bedroom is atrocious! There’s food in there, bugs, and I don’t want to know what else. It needs to be thoroughly cleaned, picked-up, and disinfected.”

When there was no objection, she looked back down to her papers.
“Those were the two main things. I would really like to see more food in the house, so a trip to the grocery store should be done soon.”

When the room stayed silent, and there were no objections, she looked up to observe the family.
She didn’t know if they were okay with what she was saying, or they just wanted her to get out, but she didn’t care.
At least I'm being heard
, she thought.

“Those were the major things.
Overall, the house doesn’t seem too bad. Whatever you guys have been doing to clean it up has been working.” Glancing over, she saw that Shane’s cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. By the way that the blanket had fallen from his shoulders, she could tell that he was no longer freezing, so she wondered if he was blushing instead.

Nicole let her gaze travel over the boy to do a quick check on his physical well being.
Aside from the worn clothes, she noticed that he was pale, but had put on a little more weight since she had last seen him. That was a good thing.

“Okay, are we done here?”

Just when she was about to turn, something grabbed her attention. Ignoring Evelyn’s question, she walked over to the chair Shane was sitting in and knelt in front of him. Taking his hand, she turned it over to take a closer look at his wrist. There were small marks that marred his pale skin. To the naked eye, they wouldn’t look like anything in particular, but Nicole knew these marks.

Taking both his hands in hers, she looked up into his face.
“Shane, how long have you been cooking in the kitchen?”

Glancing quickly at his parents, and back to her, he pulled his hands form her.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Smiling kindly at the boy, she turned her arm over and pulled up her coat sleeve, as well as the sleeve to her shirt.
“See these?” She pointed to the scars she had that matched the marks on his wrist. “When I was your age and younger, I had to do a lot of cooking. It is hard not to burn yourself when you are not tall enough to clear a pot all the way or not strong enough to lift something out of the oven.”

Shane looked as if he wanted to say something, but chose to lower his head instead.

Nicole covered her arm back up and tapped his hand encouragingly. “I know a lot of kids your age help in the kitchen. Maybe get a stool to stand on, and ask for help when you need it. A lot worse can happen than these if you’re not careful.” She turned his hand back over to acknowledge the burn marks. “Okay?”

He still didn’t say anything, but he slightly nodded his head to show her he understood.

“Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s school?”

“Fine.”

These one word answers were nothing new to Nicole. The boy had always been tight lipped about his life. She continued in a soft voice.

“Are you looking forward to winter break?”

This time, she didn’t even get an answer, only a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“Where were you when I got here?”

“We told you that he was at a friend’s house!” By the tone in Benjamin’s voice, Nicole could tell that he was a little more than irritated about her questioning his son.

If she wasn’t so close to Shane, she probably wouldn’t have noticed his subtle flinch, but she did.
Keeping her body facing him, she turned her head to glare at the man beside her.

“Umm…”
The quiet voice had her turning back around. “He’s right. I was at my friend’s.” Shane looked nervous as he looked to his father, but eventually turned bolder. “Are we done?”

Nicole stood up and smoothed out her skirt.
“Yeah, we’re done.” She turned back around, and started gathering her things. Once she was ready to leave, she looked over to the family sitting before her. Benjamin and Evelyn were talking quietly amongst themselves while Shane tried to look anywhere but at her. Figuring that everything had been said, she decided to show herself to the door, but as soon as her foot hit the first stair, she remembered the mural in the basement.

Staying where she was, she turned her head to look in Shane’s direction.
“Oh Shane… I saw the walls in your room. Did you paint that yourself?”

Looking hesitant, he answered slowly. “Yeah, why?”

“It’s really good, that’s why. You have an amazing talent, especially for a kid your age.” She couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked as if he enjoyed the compliment. For the first time since she had seen him today, he had stopped fiddling with the small rope in his hands.

“Thank you.”
His voice was a little stronger than before.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know.” He looked in her direction, but it felt as if he were miles away. “It’s just stuff I see in my dreams.” She nodded before going back down the stairs.

After stepping out of the house, she quickly walked back to her car.
“Come on! Heat up, heat up,” Nicole begged her car after getting in and turning the key. The blast of cold air in her face made her cringe, and she turned down the controls.

As she started to pull away from the curb, she looked down at the clock on her dash.
Jeez, where had the day gone? It was almost quitting time, but Nicole didn’t think she could stomach going home right now, so she headed back to the office.

At home, she would be alone.
All alone with her thoughts, and she didn’t think she was ready for that yet. If she started thinking, she would think about the tiny life inside of her, and unfortunately, the man that helped put it there.

Thinking back to that day, she wondered once again why she had let things go as far as they had.
Yes, she had drunk a little, but not enough to make her act so drastic. Whatever the reason though, it had the same result.

She was pregnant, and had to figure out what to do.
She could keep it, but she didn’t know the first thing about raising a child. What if she screwed up like so many other parents she dealt with on a daily basis? Was she ready for that much responsibility?

As she turned on her signal to merge onto the highway, her thoughts continued.

Would it make it into a good family, if she gave it up?
This is where her job didn’t give her the luxury of thinking like everyone else. She had firsthand knowledge that not everyone was cut out to be a parent. What if her child got put into a home and wasn’t loved unconditionally?

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she thought about the pamphlets in her purse.
The only safe option might be to terminate the pregnancy. That way, the child would never have to feel the pain the cruel world could inflict upon him or her. Could she bring herself to actually go through with it though?

When her eyes started to water, she quickly dashed away her tears so they didn’t hinder her sight.
She shook her head to try and clear her thoughts, but nothing was working. It was not the time or the place to think about everything, she chastised herself.

Pulling off the highway, she made a right turn to head back to her office.
There were a couple weeks left before she had to make up her mind. She decided to logically lay out all the options when she got home, and go from there.

CHAPTER 4

Nicole nervously sat on the doctor’s table, while she looked at the pictures on the wall.
They were of bright flowers, tropical views, and completely contradicted the cold temperature in the room. She took a deep breath in and let it out, trying to calm her nerves.

The door burst open, and she straitened, startled by the sudden interruption.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry! I know I’m late… again.” Trinity flew into the room, and threw her stuff down on the corner chair before turning back around to shut the door. “One of my students needed to talk about their project that’s due tomorrow. I answered all her questions as quickly as I could, and with the deadline so close, there was no other time for her. Even though I talked quickly, it felt like it took forever and…”

Nicole calmly held up her hand to stop Trinity from saying any more.
“It’s okay. You made it, and that’s all that matters.”

Trinity visibly relaxed, and tentatively touched her hand.
“You’re not mad?”

Nicole laughed.
“If I were to get mad every time you’re late, I would be forever angry.” She chuckled at her own joke, before smiling kindly at her friend. “Over the years, I’ve kind of gotten used to it.”

Trinity smiled back.
“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Together they laughed, and Trinity leaned over to give Nicole a hug.
While embracing each other, their laughter died out as reality came crashing back to them. Using Trinity as a lifeline, Nicole held on, not yet ready to let go.

“Are you okay?”
Trinity’s voice was just a whisper, and almost soothing. When Nicole felt a hand starting to caress her hair, she remembered how good it felt to be cared for by someone. The thought snapped her out of it and with regret, she sighed and let go of her friend. Everything was on her, and she couldn’t rely on anyone else to take care of her anymore.

Not meeting her eye, Nicole gave a slight shake of her head. “No, not really.”
Looking heavenward, as if for answers, she breathed, “I’m nervous.”

“Of course you are.
That’s only natural.” Trinity rubbed her shoulder in a comforting gesture. “You know…” The tone in her voice was the first sign that indicated that Nicole was not going to like what she was about to hear. “You could always tell the baby’s father. He could help with all of this.” Trinity waved her hand, to indicate the exam room.

“No!”
Nicole had already been shaking her head before Trinity finished talking. “I’ve told you. I don’t want him to know yet.”

“But…”

“No!”

By the way her friend pursed her lips, Nicole could tell that Trinity didn’t like the answer.
Finally, she gave up arguing, and nodded her head. “Fine, but you know that I am always here for you, Malachi too, even if he doesn’t know it yet.”

Nicole warily asked, “You haven’t told him?”

“Of course not. You asked me not to.” Trinity sighed, and looked away. “He knows I’ve been keeping something from him, and he can’t stand it.” Straightening back up, she waved her hand through the air. “But that doesn’t matter right now. Right now is about you.”

“I’m so sorry.”
Nicole crumbled in on herself, and started to cry. “All because of my own stupidity, I’m ruining people’s lives. You and Malachi…”

“Stop!
Trinity moved in front of her, and grabbed her upper arms. “Don’t do that! You have not ruined anything!”

Before she could say any more, the door opened, and the doctor walked in with her file in hand.
Stopping a foot inside the door, he took in the scene that he had walked in on. He looked down to Nicole, and saw her tears. “Ms. Summers?” When she nodded, he looked between them once more. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and somehow helped to release some of her tension.

Trinity let go of her, and stepped to the side.
Chuckling at how she must look, Nicole swiped at the tears running down her cheeks. “Stupid hormones.” When she let out another small laugh, the doctor smiled, and continued into the room.

As he moved to his stool, Nicole admired the doctor’s profile.
He looked to be possibly in his mid-thirties, and was somewhat attractive. His brown hair was cut short, and when he smiled, it seemed to always reach his eyes. Immediately, she felt comfortable in his presence.

Opening up the file, he scanned the information.
“It looks like congratulations are in order, huh?”

She stayed silent, but gave a small half smile in response.
He got the clue from her response, and wheeled his stool in front of her before sitting down.

“I take it that you’re not too happy about all of this.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that. Was she happy? “I don’t know what I am, right now. I’m still trying to process everything.” Squeezing her eyes shut, she rubbed her forehead to try and ward off the oncoming headache. “It’s silly, right? Most women at this stage know what they want, don’t they?”

“Absolutely not.
First time moms are usually a nervous wreck until the very end, and even after that. What you’re feeling is completely normal.”

Looking down into his eyes, Nicole once again felt as if everything might be okay.

“I take it that your doctor before went through your options?”
When she nodded, he looked back down at her chart. “Except… terminating the pregnancy is no longer an option. You’re now at thirteen weeks, so you missed the cutoff.”

Taking a deep breath in, she nodded.
“I know. I couldn’t bring myself to do that.” Placing a hand on her belly, she sighed. “Actually, I’m leaning more towards keeping it.”

“Really!?”
Trinity’s outburst stopped the doctor from whatever he was about to say. Rushing forward, she wrapped her arms tightly around her and squeezed until it was hard for Nicole to breath.

Laughing it off, Nicole patted the arm across her chest.
When did Trinity get so strong, jeez? “I said I was thinking about it.”

Trinity let go, but obviously ignored what Nicole had said.
“You’ll see. You’ll be a great mom, and I’ll be a great aunt!” Clapping her hands, she let out a small squeal.

Rolling her eyes, she looked back at the doctor who was smirking.
“I guess that answers my question about a support system.”

All three laughed at his joke, and the mood in the room became a lot lighter.
Genuinely smiling for the first time since she had been there, Nicole settled in and listened to the doctor.

“Okay.
Here’s what we do here, at this office. There are a total of six doctors and two nurse practitioners. Every appointment you have will be with someone different until you have seen all of us, at least once. That way, whoever is on call when you go into labor, you’ll know who it is. We’re a big office, so it makes it so the patient still feels comfortable at every visit.”

Nicole nodded her head. “The nurse practitioner that I saw last time explained that.
I think it’s a good idea.”

“Okay.
Let’s see.” He opened the file, and looked at her paperwork. “Your EDD is July thirteenth. You’re thirteen weeks and two days along. That means that you are now in your second trimester. Have you been having any morning sickness?”

Nicole scoffed at that question.
“Morning sickness? Don’t you mean, Morning, Afternoon, and Evening sickness?”

The young doctor cringed.
“That bad, huh?”

“It’s the whole reason I found out that I was pregnant.
I couldn’t keep anything down, and finally went to see the doctor. I was definitely not expecting this.” She gestured towards her stomach to indicate her pregnancy.

“Oh!
I can see why you would be shocked then.”

Rolling back to the corner, he placed his file on the counter and stood up.
Reaching into his white coat pocket, he pulled out a small tape measure, and walked back over to her. “Okay, let’s have you lay back.”

Once she was down, and her legs were made straight from the table extension, he rolled up her shirt and proceeded to measure her stomach. “Good.
Right on track,” he stated once he was done.

Placing the tape measure in his pocket, he walked back over to the counter and grabbed a bottle of something and an object that reminded her of an old voice recorder.
When he came back he tipped the bottle over her stomach. “Cold,” was the only warning she got before a bluish gel was squirted onto her stomach.

When he pulled a microphone looking piece off the recorder and tried to touch her stomach with it, she flinched away.
“What’s that?”

He smiled down at her and winked.
“Nothing that will hurt. Don’t worry.”

Placing the piece on her stomach, he moved it around and successfully spread the cold gel around till it started to warm up.
“Usually we have the nurse do this after she takes your blood pressure, but the first time you see a doctor, we like to do it.”

His words were lost to her when the room filled with the sound of static.
He moved the piece around, and the sound changed with the movement. All of a sudden, he stopped and circled around one area, and the sound instantly changed into a rhythmic thud. It only took her a second to realize what it was.

“Is that…”

Trinity gasped and grabbed her hand as she asked the words, but she couldn’t finish the question.

The doctor smiled and nodded.
“
That
is your baby’s healthy heartbeat.”

That was her baby.
No longer an ‘it’, but
her
baby!

All too soon, he moved away from the area, and the sound went back to static.
“Just checking that there’s only one heartbeat.” He moved it all around, but all they heard was more static.

She was still in a daze when he took some tissues and wiped off the gel.
That was her baby, an actual little person inside of her. Everything just became real, and all too clear.

He put her shirt back over her stomach, and helped her up.
Walking over to the computer in the room, he started clicking and typing away.

“What’s that?”
She finally snapped out of her daze enough to notice what he was doing. None of the other doctor’s offices had computers in them that she could remember.

“It’s where we keep all the patient information.
That way, it’s all quickly at the touch of our fingers.” He stayed looking at the screen, and kept clicking. “Okay, it looks as if you have a small UTI. Nothing to worry about, and it’s very common with pregnant women. It’s something that needs to be taken care of though because it can hurt the baby otherwise.

“What do I need to do?”

Looking back at the screen, he clicked a few more things, and opened up a new screen. “I’m going to proscribe you a medicine called Macrobid. Take it two times a day for seven days, and that should clear it up.”

“Okay.”
He went back to the original screen, and started clicking more. “Your blood pressure was a little high, but not to the point where I’m too concerned right now. Just take it easy, and if you start getting severe headaches, or your hands and feet swell up, make sure you’re seen by a doctor.”

Eventually, he left the screen, and went back to where his stool was.
Sitting down, he placed his hands on his lap. “Now, do you have any questions for me, before we’re done here?”

“Umm…”
She looked at the ceiling as her brain started to work at warp speed. Yes, she had questions… tons of them… but she couldn’t remember a single one at the moment.

“She’s been really sick.
When will that start to get better?”

Trinity’s voice brought her thinking to a halt, and she faced her friend.
“Actually, it’s been slowing down. I haven’t thrown up in almost a week. Therefore, I’ve gotten to eat more lately.”

“That’s great.
Why didn’t you say something?” Trinity almost looked hurt that she was not up-to-date on everything.

Nicole shrugged at the question.
“I just didn’t think to tell you. I’m sorry.

“Don’t be.”
Trinity then grinned. “It’s wonderful news.

“It’s not uncommon for sickness to go away after the first trimester.
Hopefully, it’s gone, and you don’t have to deal with it anymore.” Trinity smiled at the doctor’s words while Nicole sighed in relief.
Wouldn’t that be nice
, she thought?

The small interruption got her brain to start working again. “What should I expect?
You know, so I don’t panic over something completely normal.”

“Let’s see… The second trimester is usually the easiest one.
The baby will grow, and so will you. We like to see a twenty to twenty-five pound weight gain throughout the whole pregnancy. It looks like you have lost a couple pounds. This is normal for a pregnancy with a lot of sickness.”