The Devlin Deception: Book One of The Devlin Quatrology

Introducing the Mimosa Twins

Sunday, May 6, 2012

9:17 a.m.

Bonita Beach, Florida

The Mimosa twins began their day strolling north and south from their
usual spot on the beach, near the boardwalk from the Collier County
parking lot, Jill going south, Carie north. Jill glanced into the
gazebo with the AA meeting and saw that all seemed to be going
normally there. She walked on down to the southernmost gazebo and
turned back north, scanning the slowly growing crowd, ignoring the
men ogling her young, lush body. As she neared the boardwalk, her
sister's voice came over the earbuds of her modified MP3 player.

"Jillybean, got a possible situation up here near Pop's, by the
volleyball net. A young couple just set a beach bag down and turned
back north, where they came from. It may be nothing, but they're
acting a little hinky, so I'm gonna follow them. Got your tool kit
with you?"

"Rodger Dodger, Carie Berry. Want me to check out the bag?"

"Yup. It's the yellow one right by the post."

"I see you. Ah, got it. Be there in a sec."

"Okay. Keep me posted."

"Will do." Jill meandered up to the bag, opened it, lifted
up a corner of a folded beach towel and looked inside.

"Oh, geez, CB, it's a bomb, all right; C4 and ball bearings,
with a timer set for noon and a backup cell phone detonator."

"Can you defuse it?"

Praise for “The Devlin Deception”

“I loved the book! The two stories in one was done well, not
confusing as some books are. It was entertaining as well as
fascinating.......bring on Donne for real!!” - MC, on Amazon

“... colorful characters, along with dialog and scenes that are
often humorous, often adventure-filled, and always engaging. Even
though this is a work of fiction, its focus upon the political,
economic and legislative issues of contemporary America, set in one
of its small towns, Bonita Springs, FL, is razor-sharp and
intelligent. I highly recommend this read! - MLH, on Amazon

“I think it is one of the most intelligent books of fiction I
read in the last decade. Cleverly written, witty, funny - written for
the smart side of all of us readers ...” - Marina, on Goodreads

“You need to read between the lines to catch some of the
intentions, but I was on my seat, nodding my head, agreeing with what
was said, and I also found myself in bouts of laughter. A great read,
and highly recommended.“ - AB, on Amazon

“What a joy to read. I laughed out loud and thought what a
unique way of fixing these United States. Also tried to figure out
the ending and didn't guess it. “ - TSR, on Amazon

“... plenty of action, adventure and romance along the way. “
- JMG, on Amazon

“This book is a great read on so many levels. First, it is a
political thriller, fictional of course, but including some policy
suggestions, particularly fiscal ones, that deserve to be taken quite
seriously. There are multiple subplots, including assassination plots
and espionage, and involving colorful characters involved in personal
relationships that are hilarious at times, titillating at others, and
at all times interesting. From its first page to its epilogue
(alternate ones included), this book will amuse, bemuse, entertain,
and stimulate the intellect of its readers.” Marti Hanson, on
Amazon

“Political satire and hilarious musings on the human condition
are rampant in The Devlin Deception. There is also a touch of erotica
as well, so this novel is definitely for adults. Littered through
the satire … some practical solutions for fixing the ailing
country. Cleverness is about throughout the novel.”
TheBookBrothers.com

The Devlin

Deception

Formerly titled “The Donne Deal:

How One Man Bought and Fixed the USA”

With an Homage to Bonita Springs, Florida

Book One of the Devlin Quatrology

By

Jake Devlin

with Bonnie Springs

This is a work of fiction.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,

business establishments, events or locales, including

public figures, is entirely coincidental or intentional.

This material has not been reviewed by the CIA, FBI,

Secret Service or any other US government agency to

prevent the disclosure of classified information.

Any similarity of fictional classified information in this

novel to actual classified information is purely coincidental.

Nothing herein should be construed as asserting or

implying US government endorsement of the contents.

(Put simply, IT'S ALL FICTION, readers!!)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used

or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without

written permission, except in the case of brief

quotations embodied in critical articles and/or reviews.

Copyright © 2012 by R.J. Hezzelwood

www.JakeDevlin.com

[email protected]

First Edition: September 2012

This is a work of fiction

... unfortunately.

Dedicated to those who are

desperately seeking complacency.

- PREFACE -

This novel began purely as the story about Gordon Donne buying and
fixing the country, but as it evolved, the events occurring in Bonita
Springs, Florida, took on a life of their own, as you, readers, will
discover as you wend your way through this work, especially when you
meet Pamela93 in Chapter 4.

For those of you who are familiar with Bonita, don't be dismayed at
seeing new names for familiar locations. I've fictionalized those
throughout, except for the few whose permission I sought to use their
real names. (If you do know Bonita, you might start a list of the
fictional and actual names; that may come in handy near the end of
the book. Word to the wise, okay?)

As for the scenes where I'm involved, those are as close as I can get
to what actually happened, but my memory is not always running at a
hundred percent; a friend of mine named that condition
Quarterheimer's, but sometimes it feels like Thirdheimer's, even
Halfheimer's on occasion. I did check the local newspapers' archives
and some transcripts, so I believe those scenes are fairly close to
the actual events.

And for those of you who expected to find your name somewhere in here
but can't find it, I offer a sincere mea culpa. I've tried to put in
as many as possible, but I may have left some of you out, and the
fault for that is purely mine. Perhaps if I write another, I can
find a place for each of the rest of you, if and when I can find
and/or get my notes organized. In any event, I enjoyed chatting with
each and every one of you along this journey … or just on the
beach in Bonita.

Jake

WARNING!!!

Some chapters in this novel contain obligatory but gratuitous erotic
content and may be inappropriate for the young, the prudish, the
anal-retentive (more fiber should help with that, BTW) or the
humorless (like a woman named Kathi I dated back in the seventies,
who did not appreciate my suggesting that her name should be
pronounced “Kath-eye” if she insisted on spelling it that
way; I think we dated for a total of a week, maybe two. But I
digress.)

I have marked the chapters where that is the primary content with an
upper case “R” after the chapter number for your
convenience (and because I don't want to hear a lot of complaints
about that stuff). Use your own discretion. Word to the wise, okay?

- PROLOGUE -

Friday, December 9, 2011

10:17 a.m.

The Oval Office

Washington, DC

Immediately after President Obama signed the sixth Save The Economy
Act in a videotaped ceremony, the United States was sold, thanks to
three clauses that had been covertly inserted into the bill, which no
one in the Congress read before voting it into law.

The price was a grand total of 82.7 cents ... about eighty-three
pennies, and that was significantly above market value.

The buyer was a reclusive billionaire named Gordon Olin Donne, who
was present at the ceremony.

He handed the Treasury Secretary a one-dollar bill and said, "Keep
the change, Tim."

He then handed the Attorney General his termination papers and
replaced him with his own personal attorney, who, immediately after
being sworn in, signed an opinion declaring the sale absolutely legal
and immune from being contested.

He then turned to the President, said, "You're fired," and
handed him his termination papers.

The Vice President and Majority and Minority Leaders from both
the House and Senate, all of whom were in attendance for the signing,
were surrounded by the Joint Chiefs of Staff while Donne told them
they were all fired, handed them their termination papers and told
them to surrender their cell phones and all their electronic devices
and ordered them to sit quietly in the couches and chairs in the
center of the room. Spluttering, but intimidated by the
military presence, they all complied.

Donne then sat in the chair just vacated by the flabbergasted now
ex-president, glanced around the Oval Office and began a lengthy,
exhaustive restructuring of the federal government.

He issued orders firing the entire Congress and the Supreme Court and
declaring his own absolute sovereignty. By noon, he had signed 257
pre-prepared directives, by six p.m. he had met face-to-face with the
directors of the FBI, CIA, Secret Service, IRS and the US Mint, with
the Secretaries of the Treasury, State and Defense, the Joint Chiefs
of Staff, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve and with the entire
White House staff, and at eight p.m. sharp, preceded by intense media
speculation, Gordon Olin Donne held his first live broadcast to the
nation.

But all day long, he kept reminding himself that only the first step
on his long road to vengeance was now behind him.

-1-

Six Months Earlier

Sunday, June 12, 2011

4:17 a.m.

Bonita Springs, Florida

In total darkness, a silent, black, amphibious helicopter landed
briefly at the shoreline of Bonita Beach. Six men and one woman slid
wraith-like onto the sand with their equipment, and within ten
seconds the helo disappeared into the night in near-total silence.

An hour later, still in darkness, a small red skiff, piloted by an
acne-scarred teenager wearing a Master Bait & Tackle T-shirt
("You Can't Beat Our Bait"), stopped about thirty feet
offshore from the helo's landing spot, only long enough for the
teenager to quickly and carefully slide a beige box perhaps eight
feet long, two feet wide and one foot tall into the water, parallel
to the beach, where it sank to the bottom, about ten feet below the
surface. The skiff motored off, only to return as the sun rose,
landing perhaps a hundred yards south of where the box had been
dropped. The teen pulled a tackle box and a fishing rod from the
skiff, set the box on the shore and began casting into the quiet
surf, giggling to himself.

In North Naples, also at dawn, a few miles south of the fishing teen,
a heavyset middle-aged man clad in brand-name running shorts (size
XXXXL) and an Overeaters Unanimous T-shirt waddled from a luxury
beachfront hotel and along the beach, scattering exactly a thousand
small objects from his fanny pack into the near-shore waters for a
few hundred yards north and south of the hotel. He returned to his
room, called room service to order a huge and outrageously
over-priced breakfast, picked up his cell phone and texted a
three-word message: "Vanderbilt Beach completed."

An hour or so later, a frail elderly woman wearing a T-shirt that
read “Proud Member of the Batteries for Life Club” walked
with some difficulty onto Bonita Beach and opened a bag of popcorn,
which she scattered on the sand. Perhaps twenty seagulls immediately
flew in and started fighting, squalling and swarming to get at the
treat. When all of it had been devoured, the woman went slowly back
to the parking lot and drove herself to a senior citizens center in
her gated community, where she spent the morning peeing, playing
mahjong and gossiping with her fellow seniors.

-2-

Friday, December 9, 2011

10:37 a.m.

The Capitol

Washington, DC

A fat, gay Representative from Massachusetts was enjoying his daily
massage in the House gym in the basement of the Capitol with his
favorite masseur, Eric, when he found that he was no longer a
Congressman, but not due to his recent announcement of his
retirement. Twenty minutes after Donne bought the country, two armed
Marines in battle fatigues appeared in the doorway of the massage
room and handed him a paper informing him that he had been fired.
They escorted him to the House chamber, where he, along with all the
other Members of Congress still in town, was held incommunicado until
eight p.m. (They let him get dressed first.)