The Defendant (16 page)

She grimaced. “Little did I know how much I’d be needed and how difficult it would be. I-I’ve submitted my report on Daniel to the prosecutor. Unless the defense comes up with sufficient arguments in rebuttal, that poor young boy will go on trial for murder.” Her shoulders slumped. “The competency hearing starts next week. I wanted so much to help him, but I’m afraid I’ve made things worse.”

“You’ve done your job. Josie. You’ve told the truth. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in that.”

Kate’s soft words of comfort eased a little of Josie’s anguish, but she still couldn’t shake the guilt that had assailed her since her decision. Daniel had trusted her, he’d opened up to her and on some levels, she’d betrayed him.

She wanted to take the contents of her report back, she wanted to change her mind, but she couldn’t. She’d told the truth and there was no going back, no matter how much it hurt. Tears burned behind her eyes and she bit her lip on a sob. Kate set down the knife she was using. She wiped her hands on a cloth and came around to Josie’s side.

“Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to make you cry. It’s not your fault. You know that. If it hadn’t been you, the prosecutor would have requested someone else. They would have drawn the same conclusion. The outcome would be the same.”

Josie nodded, knowing Kate was right, but the hurt caused by her decision didn’t ease. She’d heard the rumblings in the town from angry locals who didn’t think a boy who’d shot and killed a rapist should be punished: Okay, a man was dead, but he was the scum of the earth and didn’t deserve to live. It was just the way it was. Daniel Logan should be hailed a hero, not dragged off to jail in shame.

Josie could understand the feelings of the locals. On some level, she felt that way, too. But that didn’t fit the kind of world they lived in. Not wanting to think about it any longer, she changed the subject.

“So, what’s with Rosie not wanting to go to school?”

Kate eyed her skeptically and Josie wondered if her sister-in-law would insist on her verbal confirmation that whatever decision the court arrived at wasn’t her fault, but to her relief, Kate answered her question.

“The girls saw the movie,
Matilda.
What more can I say?”

Josie smiled in understanding. “Ah,
Miss Trunchbull.
She even gave me nightmares, and I only read the book!”

Kate laughed. “Me, too. Roald Dahl has a lot to answer for. It’s not a movie I would have chosen to let the girls watch, but they were having a playdate over at a friend’s house. Unfortunately, one of the older siblings had the movie on and apparently the girls were glued to the screen. The first I knew about it was when they started complaining they were never going to school.”

Josie chuckled and took another sip from her glass. Kate went back to putting the final touches to the salad.

“So, apart from being saddled with the report on Daniel Logan, what else have you been up to? How is it, being back in the country? Are you missing the city lights?”

“Not at all,” Josie answered and realized it was the truth. “I’ve always been a country girl at heart and it wasn’t until I moved home that I discovered how much I love living in the bush.”

She shrugged. “The city has its attractions, don’t get me wrong, but it can’t compare to what’s out here. I guess some people would find the silence dull, but I find it refreshing. It’s nice to be able to commute to work in less time than I take to put on my makeup and here I don’t have to battle peak-hour traffic—an added bonus. The only thing I really miss is the shopping.”

“So there wasn’t a special someone who’s pining for you back there?”

Josie smiled and shook her head. “No. No one special.”

A companionable silence fell between them and Josie took another sip of her tea. Kate threw a handful of sugar peas into the salad and then said, almost offhandedly, “Chase is a nice guy.”

Josie choked on a mouthful of tea and scrambled around for a tissue to swipe at the mess on the counter. At least it gave her an excuse not to respond.

“He’s also pretty cute, don’t you think?” Kate blinked, her blue eyes wide and innocent.

Josie averted her gaze and silently cursed the blush that crept across her cheeks. “Um…yeah, I guess so. I hadn’t really noticed.”

“Riley would have been lost without him last Christmas when Duncan fell ill. Chase stepped up without hesitation and took over Riley’s duties. It meant your brother was able to devote time to your parents without worrying about work. He was very grateful for Chase’s help. We both were.”

Josie nodded, not knowing what else to do. She was aware Chase had taken over Riley’s responsibilities while their father had been gravely ill and she appreciated Chase’s efforts then and now, but it didn’t mean she was about to confess to feelings she thought she’d buried long ago. No one knew about her history with Chase and that’s the way it was going to stay, particularly given his stunt last month at The Bullet.

“He’s not married, you know,” Kate said casually. “In fact, he’s considered one of the town’s most eligible bachelors. Riley’s convinced Chase is a love ’em and leave ’em type of guy, but I think he’s selling him short. There’s more to Chase than meets the eye and there are plenty of women who would love to snare him for their own.”

Josie shook her head, unable to listen to any more. “Please, Kate. You’re beginning to sound like my mom. Okay, I’m twenty-eight, and heavens above, I’m still single, but that doesn’t mean I’m looking to settle down. I’m not interested, plain and simple. Besides, he seemed to be well and truly occupied when I ran into him one night at The Bullet.”

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Josie wished them back. What the hell did she care who Chase Barrington dallied with? It was none of her business. Just because he’d invited her for a drink and she stupidly thought it meant more… She made a noise of frustration deep in her throat, grateful when Kate misinterpreted her vexation.

“I’m sorry, Josie,” she said hurriedly, her face flooding with remorse. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have assumed you were in the market. Please, I promise never to mention Chase or single men in general again. Forgive me?”

Josie managed a nod and even forced a smile. “Of course, Kate. Don’t worry about it. It’s natural to assume I might be looking to find a mate. I’m getting older and as my mother often tells me, my biological clock is ticking. You’d think between all of my brothers and their horde of children, she’d be satisfied—but apparently not.”

“She just wants to see you happy and having a man around who loves you and wants to keep you safe means she doesn’t have to worry about you—well, not as much. I’m sure moms never stop worrying, but knowing there’s someone else looking out for you must help to ease some of their concern.”

“I guess. One day, I hope I’ll find out for myself. I’m not against love or marriage and I’d love to have kids, but I don’t want to do it with just anyone. I’m prepared to wait for Mr Right, not Mr Right Now.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. It’s a long time when you’re married to the wrong one.”

“Yes, as I’ve often explained to Mom, I’d rather be married to no one than merely someone.”

Kate came back around the end of the counter and gave Josie another quick hug. “You’re absolutely right, Josie Munro and I’m proud of you for having the courage to take such a stand. Plenty don’t, and they end up regretting it. There’s a reason the divorce rate’s so high.”

“Does Chase have any kids?” The words left her mouth before she could stop them. She bit her lip and immediately wished she hadn’t blurted out the question that had been on her mind for some time.

Kate frowned a little, as if trying to reconcile the question with Josie’s adamant disinterest.

“No. At least, not that I know of. I’ve never heard Riley mention that Chase has children and I’m sure I would have heard about them by now. He’s a regular visitor over here. He and Riley get on so well and Chase loves the twins—almost as much as they love him. I’m not sure why he hasn’t settled down. He’d make a great father.”

“Excuse me, ladies, are you both finished gossiping in there? The meat’s done and I’m starving.” Riley’s gentle chiding drifted in from the back porch and Josie swallowed a sigh of relief that was quickly replaced by an upsurge in nerves that danced in her stomach. Now she’d be forced to be near Chase again. During the course of her life, she’d never had caused to wonder at her acting abilities, but she was grimly certain that circumstance was about to change.

“Let’s eat,” Kate said and collected the salad bowl and a range of condiments set out on a wooden tray.

Josie forced a strained smile. “After you.”

* * *

Trevor Logan caressed the smooth wood that made up the stock of the double-barrel shotgun that was propped between his legs. It was as smooth and soft as the skin on his wife’s cheek and had been handled just as lovingly. He’d spent the whole weekend thinking about it and now the time had come. The gun had been in his family for more than half a century. It had been his father’s and had been given to Trevor on his twelfth birthday, a whisker younger than his oldest son was now.

Daniel.
Pain sheared through Trevor and left him gasping. He thought of his wife, his beloved Kelly, now dead and buried in the ground. His life had come to a grinding halt from the moment Neil Whitcomb entered his house and touched her. Everything he’d worked so hard for and everything he believed in was gone—his whole world taken from him by a twist of fate and one senseless act of violence.

His life was over. He had nothing to live for; nothing but pain to offer his sons. It was time he brought it to an end.

That had been his intention, after all, when he’d unlocked the gun safe. He’d barely been able to recall the new combination, having used the old one for so long. After the incident with Daniel, the local area commander had pulled him to one side and suggested quietly that he change it.

Then he recalled he’d written it down. After looking through the array of tools and other things on his workbench, he finally found the scrap of paper. Punching in the combination, he’d taken down the gun and then retrieved the ammunition box. With shaking hands, he’d loaded it, putting a cartridge in both chambers. He wanted to be certain, after all.

The boys were at school. He’d put them on the bus. Nobody would be home for hours. Long enough for him to get the job done. Long enough for it to be over.

He ran his hand up and down the length of the stock once again and gazed down at the twin chambers that stared back at him. Their black emptiness promised oblivion, a chance to escape the pain.

His chest tightened with emotion and a sob rose up in his throat. He choked in an effort to hold it back, but it proved too much for him. With tears streaming down his face, he put the gun in his mouth. The acrid, metallic taste of the barrel bit into his tongue, but he paid it no heed. He needed to get this over with before he lost his nerve. It was for the best.

He was good for nothing anymore, least of all his boys. He’d failed them just as surely as he’d failed their mother. Most days, he could barely drag himself to work, even to keep food on the table. There wasn’t a second that went by where he didn’t wish he could run away from the nightmare his life had become and hide somewhere deep in a crevice of darkness. His wife had managed it, surely he could too. And then they’d be together again.

His finger hovered over the trigger. He pulled the barrel out of his mouth and drew in a deep, unsteady breath, casting around for the courage he required to face the final moment. His gaze snagged on photos of his sons where they stood on the mantelpiece. The pictures had been taken earlier in the year, at school. They both smiled at the camera.

Pain tore through him and he gasped from the impact of it. He hadn’t seen his boys smile since the night of the attack; the night their lives had been destroyed forever. And then Kelly, his sweet, beautiful Kelly had abandoned them…

Why hadn’t she told him how bad it was? Why hadn’t she held on?
They could have gotten through it. Surely, together they could have put it behind them?

But she hadn’t given them a chance. She’d given up, given in…and now they were left alone, to battle on without her.

He choked on another sob and swiped at the tears on his face. The gun was heavy in his hand, as heavy as the grief in his gut. He bent forward and once again closed his lips over the barrel. Once again, his finger hovered over the trigger. The stares of his sons from the mantelpiece felt accusatory—which was just plain stupid. They were photos, for Christ’s sake. His boys had no idea how he felt, how close he was to escaping the pain.

He wondered fleetingly how they would cope without him and where the two of them would live. Kelly had an older sister somewhere; she’d shown up for the funeral, but he hadn’t seen or heard from her since. His folks had died long ago and with no brothers or sisters, his family stopped right here. He guessed the police would track his sister-in-law down when the time came.

The thought sent another shaft of pain surging through him, but he angrily pushed it aside. He bit down hard on the barrel until his teeth hurt.
God dammit, why couldn’t he pull the trigger?
All he had to do was exert a little more pressure and it would be over. He could be with Kelly once again. They’d be happy, like they used to be, before the nightmare began, before his boys…