The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly) (5 page)

All done.

I smiled to myself as I hastily rinsed myself and shut
off the water.

“Wash yourself again.”

“What?” The words rushed from my lips without permission
and I almost shrivelled in despair.

He pushed himself upright, his eyes on mine as his teeth
chewed his bottom lip again. His slow steps towards me were torturous and my
skin prickled as fear gripped me. His fingers circled my neck before he pulled
me to stand before him. “Do not ever question me again,” he seethed. “I tell
you to do something, you do it, no question, no hesitation. You DO IT!”

I jumped and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Now, wash – your – dirty – cunt – again.”

I nodded and restarted the water, already soaping my
hands. He stood close, watching me as I closed my eyes and drew my hands
between my legs. “Look at me,” he whispered.

My stomach rolled. What the hell was with that bloody
pitch in his voice that affected me like it did? I hated it, I hated the way it
made me feel. I hated him.
Yet that soft tone
made my body want to comply and gave my mind some sort of ease. It relaxed me
because right at that very second he was calm and in control, it meant he was
pleased with me and wouldn’t use violence to manage me.

He sighed heavily and I shot my eyes to his before he
reacted to my hesitation. He held my gaze as I washed myself, his chest rising
and falling heavily.

His eyes finally dropped to watch my cleaning. Tears
sprung from my eyes at his blatant viewing, my hands slowed down to a slow
caress as I struggled to stop the sobs of humiliation.

I blew out slowly, refusing to look at him, refusing to
feed his sick desire.  Blood roared through my veins, every fibre of my body
repulsed, and nausea constricted my throat.

His lips twitched and a cruel, satisfied smile covered
his face. “Rinse.”

I snapped from my thoughts and picked up the shower head,
shuddering when the stream of water flowed over my breasts, my nipples
hardening with the sensation. It was nothing to do with sexual stimulant but
for Daniel it obviously was as I caught his slight shift in the chair, his eyes
hard as he scanned my body hungrily. Vomit filled my mouth but my heavy weeping
kept it at bay as my throat closed in with the pressure of my cries. He
continued to watch me, his eyes narrow. “Turn it off.”

He picked up a fluffy white towel from the shelving unit
and held it open. I stared at him as I reached out for it and he shook his
head. “Come here.”

I cautiously stepped into it and gulped when he wrapped
it around me, completely encasing me inside the comforting softness. A gasp
echoed from my chest as he scooped me up and held me in his arms, his embrace soothing
and protective as he carried me across the hallway and into a bedroom. The
conflicting emotions were torturous. I wanted to recoil from him, get as far
away as possible from his hold, yet loneliness provided me with a deep want for
comfort. I had to physically refrain from curling into him to seek solace, not
just from him, from anyone, even though my body and mind were in need of a
natural source of consolation.

The lavish décor in the bedroom took my breath. Huge
heavy curtains draped the window, delicate floral paper covered the walls, and
exquisite white iron furniture decorated the room.

He placed me gently on the bed and pulled up the thick,
heavy duvet, tucking it under my chin. His fingers stroked over my head before
his lips rested against my forehead. “Sleep, lamb.”

I stared at him in amazement as he left the room and
pulled the door closed gently behind him.

What – the – fuckety – fuck?

I continued to gape at the door, but as though he had
cast a spell on me, my eyes drooped and I once again obeyed his orders and
slept.

I woke suddenly in the night, darkness surrounding me as
furious shouts filled the air, each muffled yell jolting me more and more
awake. I couldn’t distinguish the words apart from
whore
and
useless
every now and again with a few
nows
thrown into the mix.

I slid my feet out of bed, my toes curling appreciatively
into the deep pile as I padded across the room and pressed my ear to the door.
I squinted as though that would aid my hearing. Why did people do that?

A female screamed and I shot backwards, my arse hitting
the floor with a thud. I scrambled in reverse, climbing back into bed and
pulling the duvet up around my neck just as the door opened and light flooded
my eyes behind my eyelids.

I frantically tried to calm my breathing, trying to ease the
storm banging at my breastbone as fear caused me to shudder even beneath the
heat of the duvet.

The silence was thick and heavy, apprehension and
anticipation clogging my throat as dread diluted my blood.

“Have you forgotten something, lamb?”

I clenched my teeth when he spoke, his voice was deep but
steady, angry but calm and I knew deep within myself that anyone that
controlled was very,
very
dangerous.

I peeked out from behind the bedding, my nose still under
cover as my eyes focused on his dark silhouette, the outline of his muscled
physique from the hallway light quite impressive.

“Well?”

I shuffled upright and stared at him as confusion
rendered me candid and unreserved. “Eh?”

His brows shifted into his hairline and I tensed when his
teeth sank into his lip, reminding me of his demand for obedience. “Oh, yes.
I’m sorry.”

I slid from the bed, shivering against the cold that
rippled over my nakedness as I dropped to my knees by the bed. I scuffled into
position, my backside on my heels, knees apart, chin up and hands on my thighs.

His black socks drew my attention as he paced the room
towards me, the faint thump of his feet on the carpet giving my eyes something
to focus on. “Good, but next time you’ll remember without the need to be
prompted.”

Was he ever satisfied? I’d dropped to the floor as soon
as I had remembered, what more did he want? In fact…

What the hell was I doing? Apart from prolonging my death
by conceding to his demands. I wasn’t his toy, his puppet or even his God damn
slave. How dare he? How stupid was I? I’d woken up in a dismal damp room,
chained up and left to starve and dehydrate and he expected me to fall at his
feet, obey his every whim. The man who stood before me ruined my life, took
from me what my mother had so painstakingly created. He’d taken my confidence,
my self-respect, my thoughts, and my body and had morphed them into a living
nightmare. He had constructed a corpse from a fun-loving girl.

He didn’t deserve my surrender or my body and he would
never own my mind, that was something I was sure of. That, out of everything
moulded by anyone was mine, developed and nurtured by me, reared by me.

I shot to my feet suddenly, glaring at him, and he
stepped back in surprise. “How dare you, you fucking freak! Who the fuck do you
think you are? Hmm? You… you do whatever you do and you think I’m gonna follow
every fucking order you spit at me? Well I have news for you!”

I took a step towards him, my eyes fixed on his neutral
expression as my anger rose, the strong girl inside me fighting back, refusing
to concede to the monster who fed from my fear. “I’m not your slave. I’m not a
fucking object, I’m a person. I’m a woman with feelings, a girl with a heart
and soul. I’m not yours. I’m not your possession. My mother birthed me, not
you. You are nothing to me. You think because you took something from me once
that I’ll… I’ll… what? That I’ll just drop to my knees before you. Are you God?
No, you are not! So stop fucking acting like it and take me home.”

My chest heaved as he continued to stare at me. The
silence was nauseating and I swallowed the fear that curled up my throat with
his casual demeanour. But fuck him and his demands. If he killed me right
there, then so be it. I was born to fight, raised to persevere, and right then
I was adamant I was holding the fuck on as hard as I could.

Two minutes passed before his head inclined to the side
marginally and I saw his nostrils flare gently.

I stepped back when he took a step towards me. My mouth
dried instantly as the sheer power he radiated engulfed me. He seemed to grow
before me, his frame hardening as ice formed in his eyes. His shoulders
tightened and his teeth sank into his lower lip.

I gulped as his tongue dipped out and trailed slowly
across his bottom lip. “You seem to forget what I told you three years ago,
Mae.”

I hadn’t been expecting that. What had he told me? I
remembered every single word he had spat at me, it was engrained into my mind,
never allowing me to forget and move on.

I frantically searched my memory, diving deep into the
memories of that night, my mind replaying his words until I froze at the one I
knew he meant.

 “I am the sort of man who will relish in your
defiance, Mae. Believe me; I would love nothing more than to fight you, to take
you hard and punishingly, to bruise you and make you bleed.”

And he had made me bleed, not just bodily but from my
heart and soul. For three long years I hadn’t stopped bleeding inside.

His lips curled when he knew I’d found the right memory,
his smile sinister and mocking as his eyes glinted sharply. “You like to fight,
little lamb?” he whispered as he took another step forward. “Or do you like to
be punished?”

My legs trembled as my eyes searched the room for
anything I could use as a weapon but my sights set on the door, the only means
of escape. It was pointless, an impossible task that wasted valuable energy.
His fist grabbed my hair as I shot past him, stopping me instantly. I fell to
my knees by his side. “Oh, come on, Mae. You obviously enjoy the fight. Where’s
that spirit gone, huh?”

I screamed as he flung me across the room as though I
weighed nothing, as though my body was filled with air.  I hit the wall, pain
exploding through every bone in my slight frame. I scrambled around, my legs
giving way each time I tried to get to my feet, and every time I found my
footing, he knocked me back down with a heavy fist.

It’s astonishing what the human body can endure. I was so
pumped on adrenaline that I didn’t register the pain, I didn’t feel the crack
of each bone or the blood as it started to trickle from my beaten body. All I
felt was survival, a deep-seated need to escape from him, nature’s ability of
making sure we didn’t go down without a fight.

This continued for over twenty minutes, him waiting until
I tried to right myself before he would take great pleasure in slamming me back
down. I knew it was a game to him; I was his entertainment, a pawn there for
his amusement.

I gave in and huddled against the corner of the room, my
knees bent in front of me as I sobbed and the pain rendered me still.

He tutted and gave me a sad look. “Oh, don’t give up,
lamb. We haven’t dealt with your filthy mouth yet. The fun has just started.”

“You’re a monster,” I hissed at him, the final ember of
anger reaching out defiantly. My spirit fought back, refusing to back down even
though he and I already knew he had won.

A small smile twisted his lips, forming his already
handsome face into something quite beautiful. But sometimes beauty masked
ugliness, hid the deep hideousness that every single one of us possessed.

He stalked towards me almost gracefully, his long legs
consuming the space between us quickly. He dropped to his haunches before me,
causing me to shift backwards, to mould myself into the wall as he rested his
forearms on his knees and regarded me.

“You seem to struggle to grasp the concept of this.” He
slid his tongue along his bottom lip and sighed as if saddened by my refusal to
succumb to him. “Let me make this easy for you. I am a tutor and you, Mae, you
are my apprentice. You will learn discipline, elegance, surrender. I will teach
you to give everything that is required of you, and furthermore, you will learn
to give willingly.”

I swallowed and reared back further when he reached out
and brushed away the hair that was stuck to the congealing blood on my mouth.
“You will want to bestow pleasure, you will readily present your body to me and
ultimately, you will voluntarily give me your soul.”

“I will never give myself to you,” I stuttered, hanging
onto my resolve, albeit stupidly. “You will never own me.”

He smirked and chuckled. “I don’t think I explained
myself accurately.”

I whimpered when he grasped my jaw tightly, the spread of
his fingers across my face painful and cruel. He yanked my chin upwards until
my eyes met his angry glare, hatred and repulsion heavy in his eyes. “You are
the lamb. I am the shepherd. I
will
control your every move. I
will
direct and govern you until you learn your place. And I
will
guide you
along the path to your slaughter.”

My stomach heaved at the sincerity in his voice, his
ruthless promise that he would destroy me sending my heart into panic. “If
that’s what you want then why not kill me now?” I spat out. “Why teach me when
the end goal for you is to see me stripped, hung and quartered like a piece of
meat in a butcher’s window? Why drag this out?”

His eyes twinkled as we had already slipped into the teacher
and pupil role with my query. He bit into the tip of his tongue and smirked.
“Do you know nothing about a hunter and his prey? Why a predator stretches out
the hunt?”

He paused as if actually waiting for me to answer. I
remained quiet, staring at him in disgust. He pursed his lips
,
pulled in a breath then smiled softly. “It’s all part of the fun,
lamb. The entertainment and thrill is beyond exciting. It’s a stimulant, a drug
almost. And let’s face it, we all enjoy the odd high now and again.”

He continued to watch me, waiting for me to answer and
just as victory crossed his face I fixed my stare on him, knowing I was defying
him with that simple action. “You will never pen me in like some timid animal
that is too scared to fight. I have nothing to lose. You can beat me, hurt me,
control me even, but you will never ever own me.” And I would make sure he
never did. I was born Mae Swift, my parent’s little tower of strength. I needed
to not only prove to them that I was strong, but also to myself. My parents’ legacy
would fight all the damn way... right up to the end if need be.

A flicker of fury ghosted his eyes before he regained his
composure and laughed with a mocking quality. “We’ll see, Mae. But I can
promise that I will enjoy the hunt. I will most definitely relish in your
destruction. When you yield and give yourself over to me it will be as
luxurious as witnessing your despair along the way.”

I forced myself to hold his stare, refusing his need for
dominance.

Our contract had just been signed but my fate had been
decided before his words had even left his mouth. However, he underestimated
just how little I had to give. His game wouldn’t even see the players reach the
end square; he would never relish in the victory of the end game. My life was a
game of snakes and ladders; my route through life had always presented snakes
at every roll of the dice, constant downward spirals no matter how hard I had
fought to reach a ladder.

And it was this knowledge that helped me challenge him at
every square on the board.