The Debt & the Doormat (26 page)

‘I’m afraid that you’ll need stitches,’ the greying lady doctor says to me, as she pulls the last shred of glass out of my wound and places it in a grey paper dish.

‘Stitches?  Are you sure?’ I ask, my voice unnaturally shrill.  ‘Can't we just put a large plaster over it or something?’

‘I’m afraid not.’  She smiles politely, but isn’t able to fully conceal her smirk.  Probably thinking how ridiculous I am.  ‘But, seen as it's your birthday, you can bring your friends in with you.’

‘Oh great,’ I scoff.

‘Where have they got to?’ she asks, pulling back the blue curtain.

Just at that moment Izzy and Jazz spin round the corner in wheelchairs, pushing themselves along frantically.  They giggle hysterically, trying to push the other into hospital beds and staff, desperate to win the race to some imaginary finish line. 

The doctor looks at me accusingly.  I grimace apologetically.  It's not my fault my friends are drunk and insane. 

‘Hey Pops,’ Izzy says, as she parks up, out of breath.  ‘How’s the patient?’ she directs to the doctor.

‘She’ll need stitches.  You know you really shouldn’t be playing with those,’ she snaps.

Izzy immediately looks regretful and shuffles back and forth on her feet. 

‘Sorry.’

Jazz gets off her wheelchair, still two beds away from us, and stumbles over, seeming to be having problems putting one foot in front of the other.  Her face is pale and her forehead shiny.

‘You OK Jazz?’ I ask, praying she won't cause a scene.

‘Of c-c-course,’ she slurs.  She opens her mouth into a wide smile and then projectile vomits all over the floor.  She pulls her head up, wipes the remains of her vomit with the back of her arm.  ‘Maybe I’m b-b-bit ill.’  She looks at me with big scared eyes and then passes out. 

*
                            *                            *

When we eventually arrive home, it's 5am and the birds are out to greet us.  We almost fall into the hallway, all exhausted from the drama of tonight.  That and having to fight a transvestite for our cab.  Ryan comes running to the door as soon as it opens.

‘Poppy, how are you?’ he asks, helping me in as if I’m a cripple.

‘I’m fine,’ I snap, my eyes so heavy I can barely keep them open.

I wish he’d stop fussing and leave me alone.  I wonder if he’s just stopped having sex with Grace.

‘I’m gonna crash in Izzy’s room,’ Jazz says, sipping her bottled water.  ‘Will you be OK on your own?’

‘Yes!  For fuck sakes, I’ve had stitches, I’m not disabled!’

‘Alright moody,’ Ryan says, smiling at Izzy and Jazz.

‘Night, love you,’ Jazz and Izzy sing in sleepy voices, kissing me on the cheek.  Jazz still smells of vomit.  I turn and head towards my room without bothering to say goodbye to Ryan.

‘Can I see it?’ Ryan asks, following me into my room. 

I flick on a lamp and sigh heavily.  I turn my head so that he can have a good look, while still maintaining a healthy distance.  I don't want him touching it or anything. 

‘Do you trust me?’ he asks, coming closer and hovering his hand over the wound.

Do I?  Do I trust him?  I honestly don't know.

He places his hands gently on either side of my face and carefully traces the line of the stitches, making me tingle. 

‘Shit.  That's gonna be a fucker of a scar.’

‘Yeah, well you can thank your girlfriend,’ I snap, my voice full of disdain, as I pull away from him.

‘Huh?’ he asks bewildered.

‘Grace.  She’s the one who tripped me.’

‘No, she wouldn’t do that.’  He shakes his head.  ‘And she's not my girlfriend.’

‘Well, that's not what she told me.  Was going to jump your bones tonight.  Thought I’d leave you to it.  Was it fun?’ I ask sarcastically, my face like thunder.

‘You know what,’ he sighs heavily.  ‘I was going to give you your present, but if you’re gonna talk crap I’ll just leave.’

Present?

‘No!  I mean...you got me a present?’ I ask, embarrassed by how spoilt I sound.

‘Yep.’ 

He walks towards my wardrobe.  He reaches behind it and pulls out a large shape wrapped in brown paper.  He places it down in front of me and I look up to him confused.

‘Well, open it then,’ he smiles encouragingly. 

I tear at the paper, my hands tired but excited.  I stand back to see that it's a large black photo frame.  I turn it round to face me and inside it’s an old Singing in the Rain poster.  I’m stunned.  He remembered it's my favourite film.  He bothered getting a poster and putting it in a frame. 

‘You like it then?’ he asks, his face suddenly serious.

‘I...I love it,’ is all I can mumble out.

‘Good,’ he says, seeming chuffed.  He leans closer into my face, his features serious again.  ‘And remember...don't believe all the crap that comes out of Grace’s mouth.’

He stares at me for a second, his eyes so intense that I’m sure he’s going to lean in and kiss me.  Instead he turns and leaves the room.

Forget what Grace said.  Game on bitch.

I’m woken up by a strange sound in the hallway.  Like someone is bouncing off the walls, the door frames shaking.  Oh my God.  What if it's an earthquake?  I mean, you hear about these things happening all of the time.  You think you live in a quiet country with no natural disasters and then – BAM!  You’re in the middle of one.  A tsunami.  How far away are we from the Thames?

‘Come here!  Come here!’ I hear Ryan shouting.

Is he calling me?  I jump out of bed and throw on Jazz’s dressing gown and slippers.  I don't want to be found amongst the rubble in just my tatty pyjamas.  I put them on, careful not to catch my face against any of the fabric.  The wound is already stinging badly enough.  I open the door and peer out. 

A furry brown creature turns and locks their brown eyes with mine.  Terror creeps into my stomach.  This is far worse than an earthquake.  A dog.  And I’ve made eye contact with it.  They say never to look them in the eye otherwise they’ll attack.  It’s mouth opens exposing sharp white teeth, slobber falling onto the carpet. 

It widens its paws on the floor and leans back slightly before sprinting full speed towards me.  It happens so quickly I don't have time to think.  I dive instinctively out of the way just in time for it to miss me and go bounding into my room.  It quickly turns back at me, jumping up so high it's almost touching my face.  It's going to bite my face!

‘Aaah!  Get it off me, get it off me!’ I shout running through the hallway, desperate for an escape. 

I jump on the kitchen table, losing a slipper in the process.  The vicious dog continues to jump, trying to reach the top of it.  Where the hell did this dog come from?

‘Oh my God,’ Ryan says, walking in almost doubled over laughing.  ‘That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.’

‘Is it your dog?’ I ask, my heart still beating too fast in my chest.  It’s still jumping.

‘She’s my Grandma’s.  She’s got friends over all day today so I said I’d have her.’  He’s still trying to compose himself.

‘Her?  I thought all dogs were boys?’ I ask looking for a dog penis.

His eyes crease and he doubles over again into loud hysterics.

‘Stop, you’re killing me,’ he says, breathless, his face slightly red.

‘Oh shut up will you,’ I snap, still trying to balance on the rickety table.  Please God, don't let it collapse from under me.  I feel dizzy enough as it is. 

‘Sorry,’ he says, looking at me confused.  ‘Are you seriously still on that table?’

I glare in response.

‘Oh, come on,’ he scoffs.  ‘You can't really be scared of this little dog can you?’

I look down at the cream and brown haired creature and I know that a normal person would probably think it was cute.  Yet all I can seem to notice is its big teeth and extremely large paws.  That and how it can seem to jump six foot.  It's going to get me any minute now, I can feel it.  I’m going to die.  It's going to bite me on my neck and I’ll bleed out in a second. 

‘Yes, OK!’ I shout abruptly.  ‘I happen to have a serious phobia of dogs.  Can't you just tell her to leave me a-alone?’ I stammer, sweat dripping from my forehead. 

‘Sorry?  You want me to reason with an excitable dog, to leave you alone?’ he asks, enunciating every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.

‘Yes.  Is that really
too
much to ask?’

‘God, you’re hard work,’ he sighs.  He scoops her up in one arm.  ‘Come here and I’ll hold her.’

Next to him she does look kind of small and pathetic, but that doesn’t stop my body shaking.

‘You’re sure you’ve got her?’ I ask my mouth dry with anxiety.

‘Yes.’  He sighs, seeming frustrated.

I tentatively put one foot down onto the floor, but flinch when I see her try to wriggle from his arms.

‘Come on, I’ve got her,’ he says, his voice suppressing laughter.

I take a deep breath and then quickly jump off before I can talk myself out of it.  I open my eyes to see that I’ve made it.  Both feet are on the floor and I’m still alive.  I take another deep breath and slowly walk over to the sofa to sit down, Ryan sitting down next to me.  I sit as far away from him as I can, all too aware of the dog’s teeth and it’s massive blood red gums.

‘Poppy, this is Toffee.’  He extends his arms out to me so that she’s nearly in my face.

‘Please,’ I beg, my voice breaking as I put up a shaking hand in defence.  ‘This isn’t funny.  Dogs creep me out.  She’s gonna claw me, I know it.’

‘Don't be stupid,’ he says, muffling a snicker.  ‘Let me just put her down next to you.’

He places her slowly down onto the sofa and I clench my body, ready to bolt out the door if she makes any sudden movements.  Yet to my surprise she manages to sit calmly, her big brown eyes staring at me as if I’m the freak.  I try to avoid looking at her straight on, sure it’ll aggravate her.  I suppose she is kind of cute.  Her ears are far too big for her head and they flop over her eyes, almost like a pretty girl with unruly hair.  Maybe there is an exception to the rule. 

‘There you are,’ Ryan smiles looking back and forth between me and her.  ‘She’s fine.’

He looks at me, unleashing the full devastating power of his eyes, as if trying to hypnotise me into calming down.  It only seems to make my heart beat faster. 

The sound of someone walking down the stairs startles me away from his beautiful face as the dog jumps off the sofa, circling in a mad frenzy.

‘Aaah!’ I scream.  ‘I’m going to die!’ I wail.

I jump onto the back of the sofa, a sudden urge to get as high as possible, while the dog runs from the room.  I crouch down, taking deep breaths, trying to bring myself back from the hysterical panic.

‘Calm down,’ Ryan says soothingly, but his eyes are mocking.

‘Hey Toffee baby,’ I hear Izzy say from the hallway. 

Izzy walks in with Jazz and Grace, cradling Toffee in her arms like a baby.

‘Hey Pops.  Are you OK?’ Izzy asks, widening her eyes in suspicion.

‘She’s scared of dogs,’ Ryan explains, rolling his eyes, a tight smile on his lips.

‘You’re joking?’ Izzy asks, a wide smile creeping up on her face.  ‘How can you be scared of little Toffee?’

Toffee licks her face in response.  Ugh - gross.

‘Hello?  Don't you remember one of my stories from last night about her being bitten?’ Jazz reminds her, smiling at me sympathetically.  Jazz had decided, once gaining consciousness, to tell loads of stories about the bad luck I’d suffered on my many birthdays. 

‘Oh yeah,’ Izzy says apologetically.

‘Why am I not surprised?’ Ryan says, shaking his head as if I’m a major liability. 

‘Yes.  You’re very accident prone aren’t you,’ Grace smirks.  ‘How
is
your head?’

What a two faced bitch.  Acting all nice in front of Ryan.  She makes me physically sick.  Just looking at her face makes me want to take up boxing.

‘It's...OK,’ I shrug.  I don't want her to know how uncomfortable my face feels.  

Ryan’s phone rings and he leaves the room to take it.  The minute he’s gone I decide to confront her.

‘Look Grace, I know it was you that tripped me.  What the
fuck
is your problem?’

‘What?’ she asks, fake innocence all over her face.  ‘I don't know what you’re talking about.’  She smiles discreetly, as if to let me know she realises exactly what I’m talking about.

‘Poppy!’ Jazz shouts, completely shocked.

‘No Jazz, she fucking tripped me and I know it.  I’m not scared of you Grace.’

Maybe I am a little, but I’m not gonna let this bitch know that.

‘I honestly don't know what you’re talking about,’ Grace says, her bottom lip trembling.

Wow – this bitch is good.  If I didn’t know better I’d believe her.

‘Poppy, you can't just assume it was Grace,’ Izzy protests.  ‘Look how upset she is’.  She walks over to Grace, putting her arm around her shoulder.

Ryan walks back in the room and looks confused by the sudden tense atmosphere.  He looks from face to face.

‘What's going on?’ he asks eventually.

Grace runs over to him, pushing her face into his chest. 

‘Poppy accused me of tripping her.’

Ryan looks at her and then back to me, shaking his head in disbelief. 

‘No, you must be wrong.’  He looks at me for reassurance.  ‘She’s wrong, right Poppy?’

Izzy and Jazz look away, the tense atmosphere growing by the second.  Oh God, well now I look like an awful witch.  I’m turning red. 

‘Um...no.  Actually I did accuse her...but only because I know she did it.’  I’d attempted to make my voice sound strong and confident, but I’ve ended up sounding like a squeaky mouse.

‘Poppy, you can't just go around accusing people!’ he shouts, his voice making my skin retract in fear.

Why do I suddenly feel like I’m being told off by the headmaster?  It's the same humiliating feeling, the feeling that I’ve been caught doing something wrong.  I’ve done nothing wrong.  Grace smiles at me from Ryan’s chest, showing off her victory.  What a sly, sly bitch. 

I’ve got to have a really good come back for this.  A really good answer, an explanation, showing Grace to be the true back stabbing bitch she is.

‘Whatever,’ is the best I can come up with.  Pathetic. 

‘I think you should apologise to her,’ he suggests.

I let out a short laugh. 

‘You think I’m going to apologise to her.  I don't think so.’ 

Grace lets out a pathetic little cry. 

‘Don't worry Gracie,’ Ryan says, squeezing her tighter.  ‘I know Poppy doesn’t mean it.’

‘Don't speak on behalf of me!  I do mean it, she’s a sly bitch!’ I shout, my voice erupting in an angry growl. 

‘Poppy that's enough!’ he shouts, silencing me.

How dare he speak to me like this?  How dare he take her side over mine?  I feel more betrayal than I know I should, but I can’t help it.  I thought he’d be on my side.  How can he not see through her?  Oh, I remember, because her massive tits are in the way.

Silence fills the room and I look around to see that Izzy and Jazz have begun backing out of the room. 

‘Well, I think it's clear that we’re not going to make up today.  Maybe just keep out of each other’s way for now?’  Ryan suggests.

I fold my arms across my chest as I begin a staring contest with Grace.

‘Anyway,’ Ryan says, his voice softer now, ‘I’m really sorry guys, but I need to go and sort something out.  Would you be able to keep an eye on Toffee for a little while?’  He looks at Izzy and Jazz, with an expression that also says ‘and try to keep these two from killing each other’.

‘Yeah of course,’ Izzy says, putting Toffee down on the floor.

‘Poppy, you’re OK with that?’ he asks smirking.

‘I’ll be fine,’ I growl.

*
                            *                            *

Two hours later I’m in the park with Izzy and Toffee.  Grace and Jazz wisely ran for the hills soon after Ryan left.  Yet Izzy somehow managed to talk me into yet another walk, giving me a lecture on how it will not only calm Toffee, but how it's good for health, cellulite, and mood.  So here I am, walking through a field full of cow shit with a mental little dog, who I’m sure is waiting for me to relax before going for my jugular. 

‘How’s your face?’ Izzy asks warmly.

‘It stings, but I’ll live I suppose.’

Her phone starts to ring with the latest pop tune and her face lights up. 

‘Hey Maria!  Long time.  I know, it's been ages!’  She mouths ‘sorry’ to me.  She places her hand over the receiver.  ‘Pops, I’m just gonna take this, it's a bit private.’  She thrusts the lead into my hand and jogs off.

I look down at the lead to the dog attached to it.  She’s left me with Toffee.  I’m alone with the dog.  OK, don't panic.  Just breathe.  Toffee looks back at me and I flinch.  But then it's like she’s actually smiling to reassure me.  What am I actually worried about?  I mean, she’s a cute little dog.  She’s almost like a really hairy toddler.  I shouldn’t be intimidated by her.  I can do this.  How hard can it be?  I breathe in the fresh air and start to relax, looking up at the sky. 

A dirty dark cloud creeps over my head, bringing with it a chill in the air.  Toffee looks back and smiles again, but this time my stomach doesn’t settle.  I don't have a coat with me.  Please don't rain, please don't rain.  I slow down my pace, scared of losing Izzy.  The sky darkens completely, as if it's ten o’clock at night.  Images of every horror film flash through my head. 

Boom!   

I jump from the loud sound of distant thunder.  Rain begins pouring, slowly at first, but big fat drops soon start coming down heavily.  Within seconds I’m soaked straight through my clothes.  Toffee runs to my side, seeming scared.  She makes a weird whimpering noise, kind of like she’s crying. 

‘Don't worry Toffee.  It’s only a bit of rain.  Come here.’  I try to muster up the courage to pick her up and reassure her.  I don’t even know how I’d go about doing it.  Would I go under her shoulders or her stomach?  Maybe I can just pat her on her head instead?