THE DEAL: Novel (7 page)

How was it possible?

How could he be my match?

How can he be the perfect match, how does he wants to get marry if he only spoke with me that he wanted nothing more than sex?!

This could not be happening.
– Carolina continues looking at the email at the same time struggling with her thoughts, trying to figure out what all that meant. Still in shock with the photograph which she had received and not knowing what to say to Tess, she tries to understand why JP and not any other man. But she could not just ask Tess, it would be too suspicious. She wasn’t feeling with physical and mental strength right now to reveal details to Tess how she knew already JP, but she had immediately to call Tess and explain that she knew him. When Carolina was going to call Tess, she stopped with her hand on the phone looking at it, undecided if she wanted to go on with the call, remembering that Tess sent her picture to JP as well.

Oh gosh...what would he think of me?
- Shuddering at the thought. Carolina couldn’t allow all this to become a huge confusion, she just couldn’t. While she was trying to gain the strength to call Tess and talk with her about JP, she was thinking what would JP been thinking right now, now that he knows that the woman behind the profile he liked as well is Carolina.

Would he now be interested in me?

Would I still have a chance with him?

Does he want to meet with me again?

She hoped so, her hopes were renewed for a mere moments. She tried to convince herself that there is no hope, because the reality so far was that he wasn’t interested in her, he didn’t want to see her, he was living his life happily without her, and so there was no hope. She finally reaches with her long fingers for the phone buttons and search for Tess number:

"Tess is Carolina, I received your email with the picture, I wanted to thank you kindly, that you had to make an exception for me, but it turns out I know him already, we are not really the best friends, but I know previously that I am not the type of woman he wants in his life. I need to thank you once again for all the effort and all the work you put on all this, but I'm not interested going out on a date and having dinner with him."

"Are you serious?!"

Tess could barely articulate one word because she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

"Such thing never happened to me in my professional life. I don’t know what to say right now. But it's alright. Tell me, something happened between you two? Are you friends? Is there something I need to know?"

Tess asked with the curiosity of a professional matchmaker, she needed to know what’s going on there, she felt there was more into it and she would go to the bottom of it. Carolina knew that Tess wouldn’t leave her alone until she got the whole story out, Carolina felt the curiosity coming out of each Tess pore, she could hear in Tess voice. Therefore Carolina tried to say as natural as possible on the phone:

 "We met a while ago and we realized that we had nothing in common"

She was hoping Tess wouldn’t ask more questions for now, she just couldn’t handle it right now, it was too much for her, she thought that JP was in her past already, and now he returned to hunt her mind like a prayer again, it wasn’t fair.

"I see"

Said Tess, but Carolina knew she wasn’t convinced and this wouldn’t end here.

Tess continued:

"Bloody hell...I was convinced that you were really made for each other, well I have to go, talk to you later"

Tess hung up.

There, damaged is under control, it was easy, hmmm too easy to convince a woman like Tess.
- Carolina was expecting not to be disturbed with this issue again, but knowing what moved Tess, she was certain that she would come back with the same subject to discuss it further. Hopping that she could recover from all what was happening before Tess strikes again with questions. Sighing when she hung up, leaning the chair back, she fixed her eyes on the ceiling trying to relax for a little bit. She needed to get back to work again, there was lots of decisions that she needed to read with attention first to give her approval, but her thoughts ran again for that unusual situation, if she had not received the photo, and had gone to the date for a romantic dinner to meet Mr Marvellous, it would be pretty nasty find out is was JP at the restaurant.

JP didn’t know that she was looking for a life partner, because they had only talked about sex and that what they focused on because there would be no more than it would have been.  She tried very hard to get back to work, the rest of the day she took work into hands not allowing her getting distracted with her personal issues. Carolina was already on the way home, ending another day of work when the phone rings, she looked at the phone and saw Tess name:

"Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I just spoke with JP. He shares the same opinion as you do, that is, as you said you didn’t want to go to dinner with him, he said he also was not interested. I feel there is more then what you want to tell me and if I don’t know the entire truth I can’t help you, if you want me too of course."

Carolina had no strength to an open and honest conversation about JP right now, when all she needed was to forget him once and for all, after a few seconds of silence she said:

"Look now is not a good time, but if you want to know everything, talk to him, if he wants, he will tell you everything. I have to go now. Bye"

Turning off the phone without giving Tess time of argue anything. Carolina was hoping that JP would like to see her, even after he knew who she was, but he didn’t want to. Carolina wasn’t really surprised, she hopped he would meet her again, but the reality was he wasn’t interested in her, in anyway, form or shape.

Good thing we didn’t manage to go dinner, it would be just a traumatic experience for both.
- thought Carolina relieved.

This was no news to Carolina, they had so many opportunities to go out together and he could ask her out at any time but he never did. With her mind thousand per hour, trying to understand how she got to this point with JP, why did the universe trapped her mind to start thinking about him again, she thought he was closed matter already, but isn’t, all her feelings for him are now on the surface again. While she was fighting with her thoughts with what had just happened, the phone got a new text message:

"I can’t believe a matchmaker wanted to match us :)"

She left the phone slip between her fingers when she read the message.

It was JP’s message.

With her reaction, she left the phone fallen to the floor, and only when she heard the phone crashing the floor, she realised he had fallen on the floor. She picked up the phone slowly making sure it was in was piece. After all the unexpected surprise and shock she had lucky, the phone wasn’t broken and it was still working normally.

What does he wants now?

What should I say to him?

Would he think that I asked a friend to do all this? It was likely that he would think that.

I don’t know what to say to him.

I can’t answer him.

I don’t know what to say.

After the dinner she had prepared to entertain her sons and their friends, her sons have gone out with friends and she found herself now sitting comfortably on the couch, her body was stretched along the couch trying to relax a little bit. She loved having the couch just for her sometimes, and tonight was one of those occasions. She tried to distract by seeing some series on television that she enjoyed. Trying not to think about what had happened during the day, but it was not possible, every second she had her mind free and already thoughts had fled toward the recent events.

She couldn’t believe that Mr Marvellous could be JP, it made no sense at all.

Where are all the other men in the world?

Could it be that he was the only one in the world that matches me?

Tangled in her thoughts, the phone rings, she jumps of the couch, forcing herself to return to the present. She got up to see who was calling, it was Tess again. She gave a huge sigh from the depths, trying to find the courage to answer the phone, and soon she recovered a little strength that was still left to hear what she had to say she pressed the green button to answer.

"Hello"

She tried to say animated failing completely her emphasis.

"What's up?" asks Tess.

"Today was a long day, that's all"

Not wanting to give big talk to Tess, hoping the conversation would be short and finish fast.

"I was talking to JP this afternoon and he told me some curious things about you..."

Tess makes on purpose a dramatic pause, but Carolina remains in silent, only thinking:

Oh gosh...here we go again.

Even feeling the big tension what’s about to follow, Tess decides to continue:

"So did you meet JP and he said you had sex with him 20 minutes after?

If that’s true, don’t you know the basic rules to build a solid relationship with a man?!"

She waited a moment to have a reaction from the other end, Carolina took a deep breath. She couldn’t lie to Tess and finally answers:

"That's what happened yes. The idea of meeting him was only to have sex and never see each other again, that's all.

It's something I’m not proud about and it’s something I’m not walking around to spread it, but I don’t regret it having done so."

"Caroline ..."

Began her friend saying, trying to explain something to someone with a learning deficit:

"You know you blew it with him, don’t you?! Do you have the notion that he could be the man of your life and because you didn’t thought about the basic rules of an encounter between a man and a woman, your image is completely denigrate at his eyes. I don’t have any idea how you can rebuild your image to him. You have no idea what he feels and thinks about you. Do you?!"

She waited for Carolina’s answer, to defence herself, to hear her side of the story. But Carolina couldn’t speak, her voice was silent, even if she wanted to talk she wasn’t able to make a sound. Tess knew she was listening to her, so she continued:

"You know he sees you as a sex object?!

He has an image completely denigrated of you, he thinks you're not worthy of having a relationship with, he see’s you as a whore, as a woman having sexual meetings with all men on the internet. He can’t think of you as a girlfriend, having a relationship with you, nor be married with you!

He doesn’t see you as a woman!

And all this because you had sex with him on the first date!

I am sure that you never had a second date with him. Because you gave him what he wanted in the first date. He probably never contacts you for a second date and if he contacts you, it was because you were initiating contact with him, he replied to you only to know if you are still available for him, and if one day he was bored and needed some fun he knew you would be there for him. He just wanted to have you handy for a dull day, maybe one day he would end up calling you and you're going running to him to satisfy him. Then the cycle would continue until you can’t deal with it anymore, because there will never be more than sex. Generally men continue to have basic instincts as in the animal kingdom: protect, hunt and breed. If a man doesn’t fight for a woman to have the feeling that he chased or hunted you, if he doesn’t feel that you are selective in your choices, that you are special and have high values, he will never feel anything for you.

When a man starts to have feelings for you, devote himself exclusively to you, then yes they can have sex, after sex comes the feeling of wanting to protect you.

A man can only commit at this stage to a serious relationship and marriage.

Rarely occurs otherwise.

In JP’s case he didn’t felt the adrenaline of the hunt and you were there at his disposal, ready for him to devour you.  He used you, and then he lost interest, because in the man basic instinct he had hunted you already in order to procreation. Its objective was completed. It looks very animalistic, but it’s how it works, believe me.

A woman wants to do the same, but she hasn’t the basic animal instinct like a man does, that’s why woman normally get attached to a man more easily, because they are emotional, they can’t help it. You were most likely trap in emotions and he wasn’t. Now there is no more news to him because you offered yourself in a tray your treasure. You know he ranked you as unattractive, stupid and boring?!

He thinks you're uninteresting because you don’t have any assets, imagine that"

All these words were reaching Carolina as if they were punches in her stomach, one punch after another. It was an intense and real pain making her sick. She had another pain the psychological pain of deception and heartbreak which was almost unbearable. In addition to the pain of the words caused her heart pumping fast, making a pain on her chest. She was about to get unwell, she felt like throwing up. Here were the words, the simple truth, which Carolina needed to hear to wake up to reality once and for all. After hearing all that, it was as if she had awakened from a dream or a nightmare she didn’t really know. Now she was sure that she and JP could never be a couple.

Both were still on the phone and Tess continued: