The Dead List (20 page)

Holding my cell in my hand, I shook my head like an idiot. Being that it was close to nine, it was kind of too late to hang out. If Mom was home, she would’ve gotten all frownie face, but like Gavin had offered earlier, it wasn’t so much hanging out as it was peace of mind.

The flutter got crazy in my chest like a nest of bees were trying to find their way out. I’d turned down Gavin, and even with the Vee situation, he would’ve been the smarter bet.

Jensen was anything but the safer option.

My fingers trembled as I typed back one word I shouldn’t have.

Yes
.

#

I should’ve changed into something else before Jensen knocked on my front door. The sleep shorts barely covered my butt, and I wore nothing under the tank top and cardigan. Hell, the cardigan was longer than my shorts, but I’d spent those precious minutes freaking out and holding my phone to my chest, telling myself to text him back and say no.

But it was too late.

As I hurried to the front door, I admitted that I didn’t want to tell him not to come over. And if I was being really honest with myself, I wanted Jensen here.

God, I
really
wanted him here.

Feeling my cheeks heat, I opened the door and stepped aside. He strolled in, a grocery bag dangling from his fingers and a WVU baseball cap twisted on backward.

He was dressed for bed, too, and I couldn’t help but smile knowing he’d walked the three blocks to my house wearing plaid cotton pajama bottoms, an old Beastie Boys shirt, and Nike flip-flops.

Somehow he managed to make that look damn sexy.

Jensen raised the bag as I looked up. “I brought something you’re going to love.”

My heart jumped stupidly, and I ignored it, fiddling with the sleeves of my cardigan. “Really?”

Smiling slightly, he nodded as he backed toward the stairs. “Yep.”

“Can I see?”

“Nope.” He winked when I frowned. “We’re going upstairs?”

My gaze darted behind him. I hadn’t really thought about that. It would be smart to just chill downstairs, but since I was doing a lot of stupid, why would I do something smart now?

“Sure.” I headed around him, but somehow he ended up in front of me.

I was amazed as he walked down the hall, heading straight for my bedroom. I didn’t know why, but I expected him to forget his way.

He hadn’t.

Jensen swaggered right into my room like he had the hundred times before when we were younger, except then, he didn’t make the room feel so small with his six foot and two inch frame.

Looking around the room, he appeared to soak in the changes, and he smiled when he turned his startling blue gaze to my bed.

A sweet flush traveled down my throat.

“You still have it.”

The hots for him? Because I did, really badly, and as I stared at him, I wondered if it was that obvious.

“The Care Bear,” he added. “God, you’ve had that thing for how long?”

I bit down on my lip. “I got it for my seventh birthday. So ten years.”

“Ten years…” He shook his head as he wheeled around, spying the TV on its stand. “Perfect.”

Curious to what he was doing, I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, tucking my legs against my chest in an attempt to not completely freak out on him.

He pulled a slender case from his bag, holding it between two long fingers. “Supernatural, season one,” he announced.

My lips broke into a wide smile as I clapped. “Nice.”

“Thought you’d approve.” He quickly popped the DVD in and grabbed the remote. Joining me on the bed, his grin sent the bees in my chest into flight once more. “Now here comes the best part,” he said as the title treatment splashed over the screen.

Jensen pulled out two bottles of orange soda, a bag of dill potato chips, and a smaller bag of combos—baked cheese kind.

My eyes widened as I stared at the items. I couldn’t believe it. Raising my gaze, I felt a knot form in the back of my throat.

His half smile spread. “What?”

“You remembered,” I whispered.

Handing over a soda, he shrugged. “Yeah.”

“These are my favorite things—like my absolute favorite junk food.” Not even Gavin remembered my love of orange soda and dill-flavored potato chips.

“I know.” His lashes lifted.

The knot started to burn. “Thank you. I mean it. Thank you for… for all of this.”

His eyes held mine for a moment, and then he picked up the combos. “Let’s not let the epic late night junk food fest go to waste.”

I wanted to pounce on him, throw my arms around his neck, and hold on so tight, like a barnacle.

But that would probably be awkward.

So I indulged in the fatty goodness as we watched the first two episodes of Supernatural. By the time it was past eleven, I expected him to bolt, but he didn’t, and I didn’t want to point the time out to him. I wasn’t ready for him to leave. When I got up to use the bathroom, I nearly stumbled when I returned.

Oh sweet baby Jesus…

Jensen had changed positions, making himself all kinds of at home. The baseball cap was gone. Where? I had no idea. I didn’t care. Stretched out with his arms folded behind his head, he had his lower body tucked under the covers—
my
covers.

He cast me a sidelong glance. “Wanted to get comfortable.”

And he had.

And he also looked like he belonged there.

That half grin was back, this time it held a wicked, mysterious edge to it. “Get comfortable with me?”

The invitation sounded so harmless, and yet it did crazy things to my insides. As I inched forward, I told myself this wasn’t a big deal. We’d shared a bed many times before.

But that was before I’d grown boobs.

Keeping my eyes glued to the hotness that was the Winchester brothers, I climbed onto my bed, shoving my legs under the covers. I didn’t lie down. I was sort of frozen.

“Is Dean still your favorite?” he asked.

I nodded.

“You just like him because he’s a smartass.”

I nodded again.

A hand landed on my back, causing me to jump. “Whoa,” Jensen murmured. “Relax.”

“I am relaxed.” I glanced over my shoulder at him, and he raised a brow. “I am.”

He pulled his hand back, watching me closely. “Do you want me to leave? If so, I’m cool with that. Just tell me when and I’ll—”

“No,” I said quickly, and then I flushed, because I said it a little too quickly and loudly… and excitedly.

He chuckled. “Okay.”

Turning back to the TV, I strung together an artwork of f-bombs. It wasn’t like he was here for sex or anything like that, so I needed to chill out. Reaching up, I quickly unhooked the two buttons on my cardigan and slid it off my arms. I tossed it onto the floor and then lay back, tugging the blankets up, stopping short of folding it under my chin.

Neither of us spoke for a couple of minutes. We watched Sam and Dean narrowly escape a spirit who was drowning people in a lake, in bathtubs… and sinks.

Then Jensen flipped on his side, facing me. Ten seconds went by before I caved to the urge to look at him. Turning my head toward him, I sucked in a soft breath. Lying like this, we were so close.

His hand rested in the miniscule space between us. “You haven’t been getting a lot of sleep.”

I focused on the neckline of his shirt. “Everyone keeps saying that to me. Do I look that bad?”

“No. You don’t look bad. You just look tired.”

A wry smile pulled at my lips as I placed my hands on my stomach. “That’s a nice way of saying I look bad.”

“Whatever.”

I bit down on my lip. “I haven’t been sleeping. With everything, it’s hard to relax and I keep having nightmares. I know that sounds lame, but I haven’t gotten more than a couple of hours of sleep a night. If that.”

“It’s not lame. It’s understandable.”

Lifting my lashes, my gaze hooked with his. Okay. This was nothing like sharing beds when we were kids. There was something wholly intimate about him lying beside me, the citrus scent of his cologne plus that—that
male
scent clung to the covers and every breath I took.

“Are you staying?” I asked.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me here.”

Something akin to pressure circled my chest, but it wasn’t painful. It was pleasant and warm and the sensation buzzed through my veins. “Won’t you get in trouble?”

He laughed as the lopsided smile curled up. “Mom knows where I am. She’s cool with me being here. She knows what’s going on.”

I arched a brow.

That grin turned downright naughty. “But she doesn’t know I’m sleeping in your bed.”

My cheeks heated as I choked on my laugh. “Yeah, I doubt she’d be happy with that.”

Jensen laughed again as he reached over with his hand. His thick lashes lowered as he picked up my hand, wiggling his fingers through mine. That was the only part of us that touched, but I felt it in every fiber of my being.

“You’re missing the start of the next episode,” he murmured.

I’d been staring at him for Lord knows how long. Obediently, I cast my attention to the TV, and a smile formed on my lips. It wasn’t long before my gaze wandered from the TV, falling to where Jensen’s hand was wrapped tightly around mine.

I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep or what woke me up, but I was wrapped in a toasty cocoon. I also couldn’t move my legs and something heavy and warm held me in place. Blinking my eyes open, my vision was slow to adjust to the darkness of my bedroom.

That was the first indication that something was up.

It had been over a week since I’d fallen asleep without the TV on. Then my snug cocoon shifted behind me and a warm breath danced along the back of my neck.

My eyes peeled wide open.

Oh my God, my toasty snug cocoon so wasn’t a bunch of blankets.

Jensen was curled up behind me, his arm folded around my waist and his leg tossed over mine. I was tucked against his front. His closeness seared me.

Not daring to move, I could feel his heart beating steadily against my back, and his hand rested against the curve of my belly,
under
my tank top. The flesh against flesh had my toes curling. I closed my eyes, dragging in a shallow breath as sweet heat rolled over me. There wasn’t a single part of me that wasn’t aware of Jensen. How he held me in his sleep. How his leg was tangled in-between mine, pressing against me.

My heart rate kicked up. There was a fire in my blood, and I’d never felt like this with Gavin or any other boy. This was the spark I’d been missing, the feeling of not getting enough air, of my heart racing just because our bodies were tangled together, and it reminded me of the rush that accompanied running.

Lying still was the most sublime torture.

But in those following moments, when my imagination ran wild, I realized something else.

Jensen was also very still.

His chest barely moved against mine, but his heart was beating faster and his hand… his thumb moved in idle, slow circles just below my navel. Then he moved his leg between mine, just a fraction of an inch upward, and I sucked in a breath like it was my last.

Holy hot tamale…

“You’re not asleep.” Jensen’s voice was deep, thick.

A tight shiver coursed up my spine. “No.”

He didn’t respond for a moment, and I expected him to put some space between us, but he didn’t. And I almost wished he did, because now that my senses were hyper aware, I could feel
everything
.

His chest rose against my back. A heartbeat passed between us and then he shifted. Suddenly, I was on my back, staring up at Jensen. His hand slid off my stomach, up my side, to land on the pillow next to my head. His arms caged me in, and he lowered his body, stopping when our chests scarcely touched.

Our gazes locked. Something potent, tangible and infinite passed between us. The muscles in his arms flexed as his upper body came down a notch. He was all around me.

“It’s too early to be up,” he said, his head tilting to the side, lining up our mouths.

I had no idea what time it was. I didn’t care. Nothing outside of this little space we’d created mattered at the moment.

“I was hoping that staying over with you would help you sleep better.”

“I was sleeping perfectly.” Slowly, I lifted my hands. My fingers trembled as I placed them against him. His stomach was hot and hard under the thin shirt he wore.

He jerked, and I started to pull my hands back. “Don’t,” he said. With one hand, he reached down between us, placing his hand over one of my mind. The back of his knuckles grazed where my shirt had ridden up.

“Don’t?” Don’t could mean a lot of things.

His lashes lowered, shielding his eyes. “Don’t stop.”

Oh
.

When he removed his hand from mine, I didn’t pull my hands away. I don’t know what made me do what I did next. Maybe it was the fact that the early morning hours and the darkness of the room made everything seem surreal. Or maybe it was because underneath it all, I
was
comfortable with Jensen.

I slid my hands down to where the shirt gaped away from his body, slipping my hands underneath it. His skin was scorching, almost like he suffered from a fever, and he seemed to shudder when my fingers brushed over his abs.

A deep sound rumbled out from his chest, like a growl, and something deep inside me answered. I tipped my head back. Our noses brushed and then our lips glided in an almost kiss. So many emotions rose and scrambled together—awe, hope, lust, and something deeper—something that had always been there.

“Ella,” he breathed my name like it was a cross between a prayer and a curse. Resting his weight on one arm, he cupped my cheek with his other hand. He smoothed his thumb along my lower lip. “I never stopped thinking about you—about us. Not one day.”

My heart rate sped up. “Not one day?”

“No.” He pressed his lips to my forehead and then the tip of my nose. “And I know I won’t stop thinking about us.” A sweet, brief feel of his lips against the corner of mine as his lower body dropped, wrung a gasp from me. “I want—”

A loud thud against my bedroom window sent an unwelcomed jolt of surprise through me.