The Day the Ear Fell Off (17 page)

Jonno:
What
would
be great is if we can stay here.

Frances:
There’s no need to sound so angry, Jonno. Lots of families move around.

J
onno:
No they don’t. Keener and Fifty and Copper Pie and Bee have been friends all their lives. They’ve
never
moved and they’re
never
moving.

Frances:
Jonno, ‘never’ is a word you can’t really trust. Who knows what will happen in the future?

Jonno:
I know what will happen in my future. I’ll make really good friends, like I did with Ravi, and then you and Dad will decide you don’t like the . . .
wallpaper, and we’ll move hundreds of miles away and I’ll have to start all over again.

Frances:
Jonno, I won’t have you talk to me like that. Perhaps these new friends of yours are not as nice as they seem if this is the behaviour you’ve picked
up.

Jonno:
Mum, perhaps it’s
you
who’s not as nice as you seem.

Frances:
What on earth is wrong with you this morning?

Jonno:
I’m fed up with being new, that’s what. Fed up with no one knowing anything about me. I want a chance to hang out with old friends, not just new ones
all the time. Bye. I’m off.

please let the ground swallow me . . .

I was standing at the back of the hall waiting for the Head to join the other staff at the front and then I was going to do it. I had a lump in my throat the size of Cyprus and
my hands were shaking and, even though I’d been twice already, I still needed the loo.

I couldn’t believe it when the other Tribers nominated me to do the talking. Of all of us, I’m the most useless at speaking in public. Even Copper Pie would be better, although I
could see that no one would believe he wanted to save some itsy-bitsy weevils.

It was Jonno’s idea. He had this theory that because I’m a goodie goodie, geek etc, I would be the most credible – that’s the word he used. Fifty said it means,
inspiring trust and confidence.
That was a lot to live up to.

I was making sure I took lots of slow, deep breaths because it calms you down.
If this is calm, what’s panic like?
I thought.

The double doors swung open and in marched the Head. She nodded at the school – that’s the sign to sit down. I’d have given away both my sisters and all my models (even the
Spitfire that hasn’t made it home yet) to sit down with them but I didn’t. I waited a few seconds for the fidgeting to stop and then walked through the rows of
getting-smaller-nearer-the-front children and tried to ignore the disbelieving faces.

Miss Walsh was making go-and-sit-down-now-and-we’ll-talk-about-it-later hand movements but I made my eyes focus on the clock behind her.

The Head is always saying that lessons and assemblies are all about taking an active part. The more the pupils get involved, the more they enjoy it and the more they learn. Not all the teachers
agree – some of them go mad if there are any interruptions whatsoever, but we were banking on the Head not wanting to refuse me in front of the whole school.

‘Please, Miss, I’ve got something I’d like to show the rest of the school. It’s quite important.’

‘I’m sure it can wait,’ said the Head. ‘Go and sit down and pop up and see me after assembly.’ A fake smile followed.

‘No,’ I said. It came out a bit strong so I quickly added, ‘Please help, it’s a case of life or death.’

‘It truly is,’ shouted a voice I recognised from the back.
Thanks, Bee.

‘Most unusual, but, as you all know, I always welcome contributions from the children. We have got a full assembly planned out but, if it’s important, I’m sure we can spare a
few minutes. Hurry up then.’ Her fake smile got a whole lot faker.

I turned my back to the teachers, faced the school and started to read aloud the words Jonno and Bee had written. I could feel that I’d gone the Pinky Prince colour but that was the least
of my worries.

‘Size is often used as a weapon. Big children pick on littler ones, large countries threaten smaller ones, large animals prey on smaller animals. There are lots of small animals that live
in our playground, and probably have done for generations. I want to save those creatures from being thrown out of their homes by a larger animal, us.’

I paused and looked towards the back of the hall. The other Tribers were on their feet holding up photocopies of the
Save the Stag
poster with the list of creatures on the back that
we’d made in the forty minutes between getting to school and the bell.

I carried on reading out loud but most of the audience were ignoring me and trying to see what was going on at the back. It was a shame because Jonno had found loads of good stuff about how some
insects that used to be common were being driven out by the building of more roads and office blocks. I could hear a few whispers, but I couldn’t tell whether anyone was on our side.

‘At first me and my friends were against the clearing of the wooded area because it’s where we hang out.’ (Fifty said we should be honest as everyone knew that anyway.)
‘But when we realised how many other species share the space, we decided to try and save it for them, not us. We didn’t want to watch a . . .’ (My mouth was trying to say combine
harvester but my brain was trying to stop it) ‘. . . bulldozer kill all the insects, including the rare longhorn beetle and the endangered stag beetle.’

I’d got to the end of the speech so I walked back down through the other kids. A chant was growing, started by Bee I think, but quickly picked up by the rest.

‘Save the stag. Save the stag.’

Did they really mean it? Did they want to have beetles rather than brussels sprouts and broad beans?

I looked at all the faces. They were on our side. It was fantastic. That’s all it took to get the whole school on our side. I winked as I sat down with my mates. They all winked back.

‘Thank you for that.’ The Head put out both hands in front of her – it means, ‘Settle down now or I’ll get cross.’

The ‘Save the stag’ chant faded away.

Bee put her hand in the air. The Head could hardly ignore her, although I’m sure she wanted to. She probably wanted to expel her!

‘Will you save the stag beetle or not?’

‘Bee, I’m sure you realise that it’s a little late to be changing the plans. Your proposal is most interesting, but I’m sure the kitchen garden will also attract many
creatures. Thank you. Now I think we need to move on or morning lessons will run into lunchtime.’

She meant it as a joke but no one laughed. It wasn’t funny.

I couldn’t understand how she could ignore everything I’d said when it was obvious what all the kids thought. Bee must have thought the same, but (unlike me) she wasn’t
standing for it.

She tried to start the chanting again, faster this time. Only the kids at the back dared join in. All the little ones at the front stayed quiet. Surely the Head would have to cancel the
woodcutter. Or at least postpone him.

‘Save the stag. Save the stag.’

Or perhaps not.

The Head had had enough. ‘We
will
have silence,’ she shouted.

Everyone stopped. The Head is extremely frightening when she’s angry. And she was very angry.

She turned and spoke to the other teachers. I don’t know what she said. I waited. This was trouble. Would I be expelled? Mum would go berserk. I’d have to give back the phone.
I’d get new-school butterflies for definite.

Miss Walsh stood up and headed straight for us. All the other teachers did the same, herding their classes out of the hall. Assembly was obviously over.

Miss Walsh pinched my arm (which Copper Pie said is assault when I told him about it later) and said, ‘I wouldn’t have expected this of you, Keener.’

Mr Morris went up to Bee and took the poster out of her hands before he stormed out of the hall. We were all led back to our classes and for once no one spoke. The only noise was the sound of
our footsteps and some girlie crying. I was scared but I didn’t want to be. We hadn’t actually done anything wrong. We’d stood up for what we believe in – that’s good,
isn’t it?

‘Miss Walsh, what do you think will happen to the stag beetles?’ Bee asked as soon as we got back to our classroom. She wasn’t giving up. ‘Will they die?’

‘I expect they will find themselves another home. Insects have found ways to survive on this planet to such an extent that there are more insects than any other type of animal. I hardly
think they need our help. Now, not another word from any of you. You have embarrassed me by your behaviour and gained nothing by this silly stunt.’ I didn’t like Miss Walsh any more.
Not one bit. ‘6W, you will write down the spellings on the board into your books in
silence
. Thank you.’

We might have started
Save the Stag
as a stunt but the Head couldn’t ignore the
whole
school supporting the campaign. Why should our views be ignored just because
they’d already booked the executioner and bought the packs of sunflower seeds or rosemary or whatever?
Perhaps we should do a sit-in after all,
I thought. That would show them. My
thoughts were yo-yoing between being worried about the punishment and being cross that the Head shut us all up. What about free speech?

There was a knock on the door. ‘Miss Walsh, may I have a word with Keener?’

Uh-oh! What did Morris want with me? He never comes near any of us if he can help it. They wouldn’t have called the police, would they? I mean, I only read the words my friends had
written. I didn’t mean to make everyone disobey the Head. Is there a crime called Causing a Disturbance? Could I say they’d forced me to do it?

‘Take him away, Mr Morris.’

He did a come-here thing with his finger, so I stood up on wobbly legs and followed him into the corridor. I went past Bee, who made a fist. Fifty did his cut-throat sign. I avoided Copper
Pie’s huge feet that may or may not have been trying to trip me up and heard a very quiet ‘Good luck’ from Jonno as I shut the door behind me.

‘Keener, might you be Flo’s brother?’

‘Yes,’ I mumbled. It’s humiliating to have a sister who’s two years younger but more famous than you are.

‘Bright girl. Very bright. Now, Keener, I’d like you to come down to the area you’ve campaigned to keep. There are a couple of interesting beasts on your very informative sheet
that I’d like to verify.’ He took the folded-up poster out of his jacket pocket.

Not a telling off then – I felt my shoulders drop down from somewhere near my ears to where they should be. No need to listen for sirens or to worry about what to pack for a night in the
cells. But also not something I was going to be able to help with. ‘We need Jonno for that, sir. I was the one who did the talking, but he’s the expert.’

I stayed where I was and he poked his head back into our class and came back with Jonno.

‘So you’re the entomologist, are you?’ Mr Morris asked him.

‘Sort of,’ said Jonno. ‘I quite like small animals. Just because they’re little doesn’t mean they’re simple.’

‘Quite right,’ said Mr Morris.

‘Do you know an ant can work out the quickest way from
A
to
B
better than a boffin with a computer?’ asked Jonno as we walked.

‘Actually I did know that. But do you know how?’ said Mr Morris.

They were both ignoring me, which was fine. I was beside myself with excitement – we’d found an unexpected ally.

‘It uses tracks left by other ants, not footprints but chemicals that only ants recognise,’ Jonno went on.

‘Excellent. You know your subject, Jonno.’ Mr Morris held the back door open and me and Jonno stepped into the playground. ‘So let’s see what we can spot under those
trees.’

Jonno and Mr Morris got down on the ground. It’s wet, even in summer, and definitely dirty. No one sweeps up or anything. There’s rotting wood and leaves and a tree stump – not
a cut one that’s flat and you could sit on, more like what’s left if a tree falls over in a hurricane.

I didn’t join in – too mucky.

‘Yes I see, a perfect habitat in many ways.’

I don’t know who Mr Morris was talking to but no one answered. The two of them crawled around looking completely idiotic for ages.

‘I’ve read that dead wood can be a home to thousands of species,’ said Jonno.

‘Yes, and yet people still insist on removing decaying matter instead of seeing it as part of the natural diversity of the woodland.’

I got bored and started picking the bark when a little green shiny thing landed by me.

‘I’ve got something.’

Jonno jumped up, Mr Morris was quite a bit slower.