The Dark Side of Disney (7 page)

As an addendum, I did talk to a detective completely off the record about these reseller scams. The detective told me that yes, the Orange County Sheriff’s Office is aggressively going after the employees who operate the reseller booths and kiosks because it is believed that most of these operations link back to a bigger crime ring, which they’re anxious to bust up. However,
at this point
(as in, this might change at any time) the detective says they are absolutely not arresting tourists caught buying or selling tickets to the resellers, because the majority of the tourists have no idea that they’re a part of any legal wrongdoings. In other words, if you get caught, this is one of those rare cases where playing dumb might actually keep you out of jail.

FREE PARKING

If you’ve decided to stay offsite and rent a car (dumb!) or are a local driving in for a day trip, you’ll likely be shocked at the cost of parking. $14 to park isn’t necessarily outrageous by Manhattan standards, but when you consider you’re paying $14 for the privilege of spending hundreds more for tickets, food, and merchandise, you realize that it’s just another cash grab. They know you’ll pay the $14 because it’s a relatively small amount in comparison to what you’ll be spending throughout your trip, and if you’re willing to shell out all of that cash you’re certainly not going to turn around and go home because of an overpriced parking fee. It’s the first of many times during the day that Disney bends you over and gives you the shaft.

But you don’t have to take it! There are ways to get free parking at WDW!

At the Resorts:

It used to be that you could pull up to the far right gate at Magic Kingdom, tell them you were visiting a friend at The Contemporary, and they’d let you through without paying, no questions asked. Same thing with The Boardwalk as free parking for Epcot. But I guess eventually Disney caught onto this trick and they stopped letting people through the gates unless they had a valid, verifiable dining reservation. However, this is fairly easy to deal with as long as you plan in advance. A few days before your trip call Disney Reservations and make reservation at one of the restaurants in the hotel where you want to park. They’ll put you on a daily list, and the person at the gate will check that list and let you through. During peak seasons they’ll give you a 3-hour parking pass, but I’ve found that if you “accidentally forget” to put the pass on your dashboard you’ll be able to park in a resort lot all day without being towed.

Here are some resort/restaurant suggestions for each park:

Magic Kingdom: O’Hana at The Polynesian. Park and either walk over to The Magic Kingdom or take the monorail two stops over. Or if you’re really feeling adventurous and don’t feel like worrying about the 3-hour limitation, you can pretend like you’re driving to the Polynesian lot but instead continue past the resort (at this point you’re out of sight of the main gate attendants) and circle back around to the regular Magic Kingdom lot, effectively bypassing the main gate parking fee.

Go right at the Main Gate and circle past The Polynesian for free parking

Epcot/DHS: Flying Fish Café at The Boardwalk. The Boardwalk has the biggest lot (including an overflow lot across the street) and from the lobby it’s a 5 minute walk to the International Gateway at Epcot, or a 15 minute walk to DHS. You can also take one of the complimentary boats to either location. FYI, They WILL enforce the 3-hour limit during The Food and Wine Festival at Epcot.

Animal Kingdom: Nope, nada, nothing. There are no resorts within walking distance to Animal Kingdom. However, if you’re lucky you might be able to make a reservation at The Rainforest Café and either get free parking or get your parking validated inside the restaurant.

If all else fails you can always park for free at Downtown Disney. However, there are NO busses from Downtown Disney to any of the parks. So you’ll have to take a boat or bus to a resort, and then take a bus, boat, or monorail from that resort to the park you want to visit. Of course, after all of this transferring you’ll probably have wasted an hour of your precious vacation time, so it’s up to you to decide if that hour is worth less than the $14 it would have cost you to pay for parking.

AAA Diamond Pass:

This isn’t free parking, but can be used in conjunction with the above tips. If you book your vacation through AAA you will receive a parking pass that allows you access to the Diamond Lot at each park. The Diamond Lot is usually right up front near the entrance so you don’t have to fight your way onto the tram, you can just walk to the entrance. If you’ve ever waited for a WDW parking tram you know that they can be extremely crowded, and with all of the stops it can take you 30 minutes or more to get to the actual gate.

Although they don’t advertise this fact, you actually only need to purchase your Park Hoppers through AAA to get the Diamond Pass, not your entire vacation. AAA offers a decent discount on Park Hoppers, although not as much as Undercover Tourist, so it’s up to you to figure out if it’s worth the extra expense of booking through AAA to get this convenience.

However, eBay again comes to the rescue. You can buy a AAA parking pass on eBay for less than $30, which is good for the length of your stay. If you’re renting a car, staying a week, renting a DVC, and purchasing your tickets via Undercover Tourist (or have Annual Passes) this is probably a great deal for the convenience it offers.

EATING/DRINKING THERE

There’s no such thing as cheap food or booze for sale in WDW. Sure, there might be bargains that bring the costs down a bit, but compared to your local grocery store, corner bar, or chain restaurant, all consumables in WDW are way overpriced.

On their end, the reasoning for these high prices is “You’re stuck here, suckers, so deal with it!” They know the chances of you leaving the WDW Resort for a meal are extremely small (especially if you’ve used DME and couldn’t drive off-property if you wanted to) so they jack up prices to crazy levels. And unfortunately, with the advent of the Dining Plan and “Free Dining”, prices have continued to go up over the years as quality and portion sizes have decreased.

If you went to a restaurant at home with such high prices and mediocre food, you’d likely complain to the manager and would never go back there again. So why put up with it at WDW? “Oh, we’re on vacation, we can splurge a little,” is the typical response. Well, sure, that makes sense if you’re splurging on high quality food with excellent service, but it seems like the days where management saw the restaurants at WDW as a source of pride instead of a cash cow are mostly gone. There are a few exceptions – a certain entrée at a certain sit-down that is world-class, or a certain appetizer at a counter service that’s a hell of a bargain, but those exceptions are quickly disappearing.

So stop throwing your hard earned money away! I can’t tell you how to make the food any better at WDW, but at the very least I can tell you how to come away from your vacation with a full stomach and a lot more cash in your pockets.

“Free Dining” is Not Free!!!:

If you really think that Disney is going to give you something for free, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you. Their “Free Dining” promotion gets everyone up in a tizzy, because they hear the word “free” and start freaking out. But there’s nothing “free” about it. You’re actually paying out the ass for it!

The way the deal works is that you buy a package that includes your room, tickets, and the Disney Dining Plan, aka DDP (Quick Service if you’re staying at a Value Resort, or the regular plan if you’re at a Moderate), except the DDP is supposedly “free”. So they give you a single price for your entire vacation, and aside from souvenirs, once you hit the ground everything is already paid for.

The problems with this are numerous:

1. You’re not allowed to use any other discounts on top of this “free dining” promotion. So the “buy 4 get 3 free” deal, where you get 7 days at a resort for the price of 4? Nope, can’t do it. $500 gift card if you reserve a 7 day vacation? Nope. 40% off code? Not a chance. You have to pay full rack rates for your rooms, and no discounts on your tickets, either, which means Undercover Tourist is out the window. And to be perfectly frank, only suckers pay rack rate at WDW.

It used to be that you could probably do just as well at “Free Dining” as you could with these other discounts IF you were staying in a Value Resort, because everyone got the same version of the DDP, regardless of what kind of resort you stayed at. But now that they’ve changed the “Free Dining” for Values to “Quick Service” restaurants only, that slight edge is put into the negative. In other words, YOU ARE LOSING MONEY BY GETTING “FREE DINING” INSTEAD OF USING THE OTHER DISCOUNTS OUT THERE!!!