Authors: Brewin
Brian awoke with a gasp. He was lying under blankets on the lounge couch. Sasha sat next to him watching the television, sipping a mug.
She noticed Brian wake. “How you feelin’, hun?”
Brian yawned loudly. “Fucked.”
He wiped his eyes and tried to focus on his surroundings. He was reminded of the dream by the bandages now on his right hand.
“Another nightmare?”
“Yeah.” He yawned again. “How long have I been out for?”
“Over four hours. I was gunna wake you soon.”
Brian struggled up from the couch and walked to the kitchen for a drink.
“So you sure you still don’t want to tell me about your day?”
Brian poured himself a glass of water and gulped it down before answering. “Quite sure. If I could talk about it I would. But I can’t. It’s okay really, just a whole bunch of shit to deal with. I’m used to it.”
Gees, I’m good at lying sometimes.
“I know it’s all to do with the murder at Weston’s farm. And that whoever did it, is still out there,” she said.
“Who told you that?”
“Oh, come on honey, everyone knows that. Two mutilated bodies were found in the burnt house and no killer.”
But sometimes I’m blind to the obvious, damn it!
“Obviously. But who’s going around talking about it?”
“
Everybody
! Since when has anything like this happened in
Howqua Hills
? Everybody’s talking about it.”
Brian returned to the couch, rubbing his temples. “Ohhh shit,” he sighed.
Sasha crossed her arms. “So if you wanna talk about it, we can talk about it. Otherwise I’m going to bed.”
Better to say nothing and endure her anger, than to tell and damn everything.
“We’ll talk about it in the morning.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She rose and took her mug to the sink. “I’m going to crash then. You coming?”
Brian groaned. “Think I’ll stay up for a bit.”
“Okay.” Sasha walked to the hall door and stopped. “Oh and your wife called today. Think you’d better call her back tomorrow.”
So that’s what all this is about. Sasha’s feeling left out because she doesn’t know what’s going on and she thinks that I’d tell Julie. Maybe she thinks that, but she’d be wrong. He couldn’t tell anybody.
“Thanks, Sasha, I’ll join you soon. I’m just going to go out for a walk first. I need to think some things over.”
“Okay, goodnight. Make sure you lock up when you go.”
“Yes, mum.”
“You forgot to lock up this morning when you left, so I’m just reminding you now.” She went to bed.
The streets were dark and silent. A chill breeze rustled dead leaves under the pallid light of street lamps. His patrol’s windscreen mirrored a panorama of stars above. A near full moon leered.
Halfway down the driveway, he stopped.
What am I doing? Am I crazy?
Yes, you are. So who cares?
He laughed. I’m really losing it, aren’t I?
He continued walking out onto the street, pushed by a cold wind, his footfalls echoing in the darkness. He moved past houses in slumber, oblivious to his passage.
His life was clouded in dark shadow, taking him down a dark road into the sinister unknown. Alone he travelled, alone he was destined to fight, alone he was destined to fall.
What fell path was his life taking? What could possibly happen now to make things any worse?
He shivered and stopped in the middle of the street. Icy fingers of fear clawed at his heart, weakening his resolve.
Was the path he took unchangeable? Its destination unavoidable? Doom unstoppable? The dream inevitable?
He neither knew the answers, nor had energy to seek them anymore. Life had become a constant battle against assailants on every side. Which side he was on and what he was even fighting for, was no longer clear.
Overwhelmed, he began walking again, hoping that the brisk walk in the night air would revive his spirits and clear his mind.
A fire. A multiple murder. A dream. A nightmare that was real. A wife and children. A life now denied to him. A career. A dead-end. Nothing made sense. Everything seemed beyond his control.
And now he stood at a crossroads. He had no idea which way to go, nor an inclination to care. He sat down on wet grass against a telephone pole, watching his weary breath trail off in mist.
Darkness called...
“I’ve been waiting for you,”
said a voice in his mind.
Who? What? Where am I?
“So many questions and so little time. What do you care?”
I do care! What’s happening?
“What do you care if there’s nothing you can do about it? Your fate is sealed. You will all die soon. There is no hope, so give up now.”
No. No I can’t. I must keep fighting.
“You tell yourself that, but look at you. A miserable wreck that can’t even keep his family life intact, let alone keep a job or an easy fuck happy. What hope do you have?”
What is this voice in my head? Am I completely fucking mad?
“Yes, you are. And no one will believe you. You are on your own and no one will help you.”
End this! If it’s all in my mind, I must be able to stop it!
“You can’t control your emotions, so what makes you think you can control your thoughts? Especially when they are not YOURS.”
Oh God, please make this end!
“Praying to your pathetic absent God already, are we? I haven’t even started with you yet. Watch how easily I can manipulate your every thought, emotion and desire... ”
A suffocating fear enveloped him, irrational, uncontrollable. The urge to run away screaming was overwhelming, but he could not – his muscles were paralysed. Unable to move his lips, he began to gag on his tongue.
“So easy, so vulnerable. You think yourself so advanced, but look at you now, helpless in the grip of fear. Hahaha.”
Fits of coughing shook him, vomit swamped his mouth and spilled down his shirt, but still he could not move.
“I am going to destroy you, Brian. First I will destroy everything you have and have ever sought to attain. Then I will destroy all hope and thought in that useless brain of yours. And then finally, I will destroy you and all your kind.”
Why?
“Because we are the dominant species now. Your extinction is imminent.”
Darkening room... G
rowing darker.
Light fades... S
hadows merge.
Evil lurks... C
reeping closer.
A sudden chill... G
rips my soul.
Am I conscious? A
ll is dizzy.
Where is body? M
ind is bending.
Something’s calling... O
verwhelming.
Falling into darkness... N
ever-ending.
10
th
April, 1989
MONDAY 12:58
AM
An eternity passed.
He opened his eyes again and the dark returned, like fractured memories of a dream.
He lay naked on cold stone. Red glimmers of light, dogged by adept steps, moved past him like fireflies. Guttural murmuring followed them, echoing throughout cavernous walls. The stench of filthy beasts assaulted his senses. Fear gripped him.
He shuddered aloud and heard something turn to face him... Claws scraped stone, red eyes scanned the darkness.
He held his breath...
May the darkness keep me safe!
Something crept closer.
There was a low growl and then sniffing.
I dare not even swallow.
It paused.
His heart screamed in his head as he fought to contain his breath. He looked for an escape, but could see only darkness. His breath would last but a few seconds longer.
Something grunted and rushed towards him...
And darkness returned.
MONDAY 7:15
AM
Dawn struck like lightning, illuminating the darkness.
Somewhere there was the reek of vomit. Traffic drove past the roadside he lay on. Then he remembered.
Brian broke into a fit of coughing, convulsing forward into a sitting position. Somehow, it seemed strange to be...
Alive.
How strange that word was when he was sure he was as good as dead anyway. Squinting against the emerging light of day, he looked down to see his hand half-submerged in a pool of lurid, smelly mess. He cringed from his creation.
Fuck, I hope no one’s recognised me. I’ve gotta get out of here.
Brian rose, wiping his hands on his trousers. He realised he had a great need to empty his bladder.
Well, at least I didn’t piss myself.
Running a bandaged hand through his matted hair, he noticed his headache was gone. Instead, he felt a dull throb in his wounded hand. He looked down at the bandages a moment.
Yesterday’s events seemed impossible. He must have cut himself in the car somehow. No other explanation was plausible.
He shivered involuntarily and looked at his watch. It was time to head home.
There were many questions he had to find an answer to, but first he had to find a secluded spot to piss...
The temporary relief he felt didn’t compensate for his weariness. A full day lay ahead and it felt like he hadn’t slept at all.
He needed a holiday.
Brian dawdled his way back home, dwelling on what he was going to say to Sasha when he got there.
“Sorry honey, there’s just these demons running around trying to kill me and everyone else. I’m sure it’ll all blow over.”
Nah, somehow that just won’t work.
A maroon sedan rolled past. The driver noticed a wreck walking along the footpath.
Is that Sergeant Brian Derwent?
Nah, couldn’t be.
He drove on.
In no time, Brian was walking up the path to his front door. And still he didn’t know what he was going to say, or how he was going to cope with the day ahead.
His mind on autopilot, he rang the front door, forgetting he had keys in his pocket.
Sasha answered the door fully dressed, glaring at him. “Where have you been?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“What do you mean? What happened? You look like shit!”
“Yeah, I feel like it too.” Brian put a foot inside the front doorway.
Sasha stepped aside, holding the door. “Brian. Tell me what’s going on.”
Brian looked at the clock on the wall in the hallway. He’d have to leave in half an hour to be at the station on time.
“I only wish I knew,” he said.
“Brian, tell me what’s happened! You still haven’t told me anything!”
Brian closed the front door as school children passed outside.
“Believe me when I say you don’t want to know.”
“Like fuck!” she screamed and pushed Brian into the wall. “You get called out yesterday to the murder, come home and pass out in your car, you can’t tell me how you cut your hand or what happened at the farm, and then as soon as you’re awake you go out last night and don’t come home!”
Brian held up a hand. “Sasha, Sasha, listen-”
“No, you listen to me! You could be in serious danger or having an affair for all I know! I could be in danger, or someone else! I’ve hardly slept since you didn’t come back home, I’ve had Julie and Sergeant McDougall on the phone, both wanting to know how and where you are and I didn’t know what to tell them! Do you even care? How can we be together if you won’t even fucking talk to me!”
Brian looked up from the floor into Sasha’s eyes. “Is there anything else you wanted to add? You seem to be on a roll.”
“Fuck you!” She thumped his chest and stormed off towards the kitchen.
Maybe later.
Brian felt acids burning his empty stomach and oesophagus, and his headache returning. With some effort, he followed her.
“Sasha honey.”
She picked up her cigarettes from the kitchen table and stuck one in her pouting mouth. “Don’t you Sasha honey me.”
As she paused to light a cigarette, Brian took the opportunity to continue. “Honestly, I don’t know what’s happening. I keep having these visions and passing out. Like in the car yesterday when I got home, the same thing happened last night while I was out walking. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it’s got nothing to do with the investigation. I’ll know a lot more about that today when I go to the station, which is where I have to be in half an hour-”
“You’re gunna go to work? You need to go to a doctor!”
Brian reached for her cigarettes. “I’ll go this afternoon. I’ve got too many other things I have to sort out first. Then we can talk.”
She rolled her eyes and turned away to make a cup of herbal tea. “Whatever.”
“Sasha, until then I can’t really begin to explain what’s happening. It’d take too long and I don’t understand it yet anyway.”
Sasha kept her back turned to Brian as she poured her tea. Brian imagined the anger building inside her.
She turned around without making eye contact and walked past him towards the lounge with her tea.
“Well, I’d better call Douglas anyway. I’ll call Julie later when I get a chance,” he said.