The Cowboy Lassos a Bride (Cowboys of Chance Creek) (22 page)

When a knock
sounded on the door twenty minutes later, Jake leapt to his feet, hoping against hope it was Hannah. As angry as he’d been when she left, he’d long since simmered down and realized he’d presented his information all wrong. Hannah had obviously had a long day. While the e-mail acceptance letter had surprised and excited him when it arrived today, he should have been paying more attention when she got home. If only he’d let her know that he didn’t plan to ditch the ranch—or her—they could have discussed all the possibilities. Now she thought he placed his own education and advancement above hers. That wasn’t the case. He had no idea how they’d balance things when both of them started taking classes, but he liked the idea that they could go on this adventure together.

Too bad he’d blown it.

He opened the front door to find his mother on the porch.

“Can I come in?” She hugged her jacket tightly closed against the wind.

“Of course.” He stepped back and she came inside, her gaze taking in the bags of groceries still on the counter, the laptop on the table, the half-prepared dinner on the stove and, he supposed, Hannah’s absence.

“I saw Hannah drive out of here a little while ago like she was being chased by the devil. I thought you’d go after her but I didn’t see your truck leave. Did something happen?”

Jake indicated that she should sit down. She chose the sofa and he sat in an easy chair. “We had a fight.”

“Over what? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Jake found it hard to look his mother in the eye. “I blurted out some news. Didn’t prepare her for it. She took it the wrong way.”

“What news?”

“I got into Montana State.”

Lisa cocked her head. A little smile played at the corners of her mouth. “Montana State? You applied to college?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“It’s about time.” Lisa leaned forward and swatted him on the knee. “I always thought you were smart enough to get something out of it.”

“Dad won’t like it much.”

“Nope. He won’t. But it isn’t his life.” She considered him. “What made Hannah so mad?”

“She’s starting classes in February and everyone’s been telling her she can’t go if she’s pregnant. When I blurted out that I got in, I guess she figured I was saying that she oughta stay home and I should go instead.”

“But that’s not what you meant.”

“No.” He shook his head. “But I don’t know what I do mean. I don’t know how the two of us can go, and I don’t know how we can be a family when she’s going to need to spend all that time in Colorado. And I don’t know what we’ll do about kids, now or later.”

“You can figure all of that out,” Lisa said.

“You think so?”

“Do you love her?” Jake nodded. Lisa raised her eyebrows. “Then it’s simple. You give a little, she gives a little and everyone around you helps out all they can. That’s life, Jake.”

“I don’t even know where she is. She just took off. I don’t even know if she loves me.”

Lisa held her gaze steady on him. “This is a small town, Jake. Find her.”

‡
Chapter Nineteen

“R
oom twenty-two.”
The desk clerk at the Big Sky Motel handed Hannah a plastic key card and she exited the office and climbed the concrete steps to the second floor. She let herself into the plain, drab room and shut the door behind her, exhausted and numb. She had her answer. Jake didn’t care about her at all. He couldn’t have come up with a better way to demonstrate that than doing what he did tonight.

Jake was going to Montana State. Just like that. Forget the ranch. Forget her dreams. Forget her.

More importantly, there was no baby and she couldn’t believe how bitterly disappointed she was. She was cramping painfully and her head had begun to pound, too. Why hadn’t she recognized all the signs that her period was arriving? She felt worse today than she usually did when it came, but that was the stress piled on top of everything else. Otherwise, all was normal. Bloating, crankiness, being way too emotional? Check, check and check. She should have known she wasn’t pregnant. She shouldn’t have let herself get attached to the idea.

And why had she let herself get attached to Jake, the one man guaranteed to leave her heartbroken? She couldn’t blame anyone else for her predicament. Not even Holt, damn him. He’d started the whole thing off, but he’d told her clearly her job was to prime the pump to get Jake interested in the idea of settling down. Even he had known she wasn’t the right woman for him to settle down with.

Hannah perched on the motel room bed, her arms wrapped around her stomach. Still in her winter jacket, she was cold down to her bones. Maybe a hot soak would help calm her down. Good thing she wasn’t hungry since she hadn’t eaten dinner and she’d have to go out if she wanted food now. She didn’t think she could face the world tonight, not when all her dreams were crashing down around her head. A bath and bed. That was the best plan. She would try again tomorrow.

She turned the television on to mask the emptiness of the room, hoping it would mask the emptiness inside her, too. As she walked toward the bathroom she passed the room’s long, low bureau topped with a large mirror. She’d aged ten years in the last hour. Her face was taut with sorrow. Her hair limp. Her body hidden by the thick winter coat. She looked like the kind of woman who lived alone and existed on the margins. The kind who ran to a motel room instead of home to a family when times got tough. She hadn’t had anyone to depend on for a long, long time. This was normal for her. Nothing had changed.

But something had changed. For one moment she’d let herself imagine a life that contained a husband who loved her. A child. In-laws. A home. All the things she’d never let herself picture before because she couldn’t stand the disappointment if it didn’t work out. She’d set herself up for heartbreak and heartbreak had arrived, right on schedule. The pain of it doubled her over until she wept into her hands.

When the knock sounded on her door ten minutes later, Hannah didn’t want to answer it, but if the insistent pounding drew her neighbors’ ire she’d have even more fuss to deal with. She dragged herself up off the bed, scrubbed at her face with the arm of her jacket and approached the door cautiously. A glance through the peep hole showed Holt standing outside.

She rested her forehead against its smooth surface in defeat. “Go away, Holt.”

“I’m not leaving until you let me in.”

She knew him well enough now to know he’d make good on his threat. Taking a deep breath, she opened it. Shrugging out of her jacket finally, she tossed it on the bed and faced him.

“What do you want?”

“I think the real question is, what do you want?” He kept his coat on and stood near the door, his tall, broad frame taking up all too much space in the room.

“I don’t have the energy for games tonight.” She felt raw and tired—too tired for this conversation.

Holt peered at her and she knew he was taking in her reddened eyelids and splotchy face. “There’s no baby, is there?”

A sob rose in her throat again. She forced it down and shook her head.

“Jake doesn’t know.” It wasn’t a question.

She shook her head again. “No.”

“Shouldn’t he?”

“He won’t care. He doesn’t care about anyone besides himself.”

“My son cares about you, that’s for damn sure. Why else would he chase all over creation to help you round up that bison and cart it over to our ranch even though he knows I wouldn’t cotton to it? Why else would he spend all his time for the past two weeks either with you or mooning over you? You think we told him to do any of that? Hell, no!”

“Holt, just leave me alone, would you? It’s all over—”

“It’s not over.” Holt approached her. “You’re crying yourself silly over here. And I bet my son’s pacing like a wild animal back at home. I saw you race out of there like a bat outta hell. Don’t worry; I sent Lisa to talk to Jake. I figured I’d better come talk some sense into you. The two of you love each other; you’re just being a pack of fools!”

“We’re not foolish. We’re realists. We can’t make this work.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“What’s the difference?”

“There’s a world of difference. Sit down.” He pointed to the bed. When she didn’t budge he folded his arms across his chest. “Do an old man a kindness by listening to me for a minute. Maybe you’ll learn something.”

“I want to be alone.”

“I’ll leave as soon as I’ve said my piece.”

“Fine!” Hannah plunked herself down on the bed, too exhausted to fight anymore.

“I nearly lost Lisa once out of stubbornness.” He began to pace as he talked. “It was over a dress, believe it or not. This was back in the days when we were getting started and struggling a bit. I’d just increased the herd far faster than my father ever would have done. I made a bet and used credit. He would have been furious. That bet paid off in spades, though.”

She could tell Holt had traveled back to those days in his mind. He was seeing something other than the motel room in front of him.

“Truth was I nearly over-extended myself and I was hell-bent on paying back that loan as fast as possible. We pinched every penny we could for several years and some pennies we didn’t have, too. One day Lisa asked for some money to buy a new dress. She was hosting a fundraiser for some cause or another. Something church-related.” Holt waved a vague hand. “She’d been wearing the same dress for three years to all of these functions and she was bound and determined to have a new one. She wanted fifty dollars.” He rubbed a hand across his jaw. “Fifty dollars.” He turned bright eyes toward Hannah. “I said no. She could keep wearing that dress another year. I was still wearing the same old suit I always wore when I dressed up, wasn’t I? I didn’t understand it was different for her. That her friends were talking—saying I didn’t value her. I didn’t care. She knew the truth but it killed her to think that everyone else didn’t. She wanted that dress to show them that her husband…” His voice got a little unsteady. “…wasn’t a cheapskate who neglected his wife. I refused.”

Holt sighed and for a minute Hannah thought that was the end of the story, but he continued slowly. “We bickered over it for a few days and then Lisa stopped talking to me. I figured she was sulking and I wasn’t going to put up with that so I stopped talking, too. We went three days like that. Worst days of my life.”

Hannah pressed her lips together to keep tears from sliding down her cheeks again. She’d cried enough today. She didn’t need to do it again. “What happened?” she asked when Holt hesitated.

“She gave me an ultimatum finally. Fifty dollars or she was leaving. I was furious. Oh, we had a row. Then she said something that’s stuck with me to this day. She said, ‘Am I not worth fifty dollars to you?’” Holt stopped speaking and watched her expectantly. When she didn’t say anything he shrugged and turned to leave. “I suppose I’ve done all I can. I’ll say good-night now.”

“Wait. I don’t understand.” Hannah rose to her feet. “What does that have to do with me?”

Holt paused by the door. “I guess it’s time to ask yourself. What is Jake worth to you?”

And he was gone.

Jake had exhausted
all of Hannah’s contacts and he still hadn’t found her. She wasn’t at Morgan’s place, or at the Cruz ranch with Autumn, Claire or Rose, and she wasn’t with Bella, either. After his mother returned to her house he decided he wouldn’t stop looking for her until he found her and explained everything. Who knew how long that would take? Before he set out to scour the town he decided to stop by his brothers’ cabins and ask them to take on his evening and morning chores.

Ned met him at the door of his cabin and seemed reluctant to let him in. When he finally did, Jake understood why. Gone was Mia’s pink décor. The cabin was back to normal. But the meal Fila was cooking in the kitchen was anything but. The whole place smelled of foreign, exotic spices that made Jake’s mouth water.

“What are you making?” he asked Fila, then realized Ned had been elbow-deep in food preparation, too.

Ned? Cooking?

He suppressed a smile, amazed that he could still do so.

“What do you want?” Ned asked gruffly, obviously steeling himself against ridicule.

“Just to see if you could help take on some of my chores tonight.” He explained about the fight and Hannah running off.

“Sorry to hear you’re having troubles,” Ned said. Behind him Fila nodded.

“Thanks.” Jake quickly turned back to the door, unnerved by his brother’s compassion. “I’ll go pass the news to Luke.”

It wasn’t until he was out the door that he realized Ned should have been jumping for joy. After all, if he didn’t marry Hannah, Ned would get control of the ranch. Maybe he’d only waited for Jake to close the door before he started celebrating, but when Jake looked back he could see Ned and Fila through the front window of the cabin. Ned wasn’t jumping. He was bent back over his work.

At Luke’s cabin, things were as he expected. Pink ruled the day and Mia was singing a pop song in the kitchen while waiting for the microwave to cook a frozen meal. Luke was already scooping forkfuls of macaroni and cheese from another cardboard container.