The Concubine (9 page)

***
 

“He is so much like you.” I whisper mournfully as I feel your presence behind me only minutes later.
You fall unceremoniously by my side only to manhandle me to your lap seconds later. Like a child you cradle my head to your chest and drop a kiss on my crown. 
“Yes, does the fact hurt you?” your voice has fallen down an octave, its soothing I am hypnotized by it.
I close my eyes, and gather my thoughts. “I love Finn as much as I love Ciaran. My love for our sons does not play favorites. Yet Finn has always believed I loved his brother more than him.” I push away and turn around to face you. “And because of that I believe he has distanced himself from me.” I allow you your kiss while my heart soars.
“I do not resent you your immediate connection, my love, it’s just that I wish he and I could be that close.” 
“Finn confides in me when he and I are together and I can tell you right this moment that he does not hate you. He speaks stars and moons of you. You can do no wrong. Yes, he is confused about this entire mess and he was angry with me and you for being so ‘childish’ as he phrased it. But he will come around, children, I have come to learn are quiet resilient that way.” your forehead is against my own, and I softly smile, your words putting me at ease and yet my heart and thoughts are not settled. Liam, I want my little baby.
“Something else is bothering you.” you do not question, only state and I wonder whether you too have become so attuned with my emotions as I am with yours. 
I inhale deeply. “I have another child. A son.”
Your finger touches my chin and lifts my head, I keep my gaze down. “Look at me.” an order I am helpless to follow. “Yours and mine?” I shake my head. Your eyes penetrate my own, daring me to look away. I cannot. 
“What I have said before still applies, pet. I will not allow anger or childish pride to stand between what you and I could have had, what I will fight for so that we can have again. You, me and our children…Valancette’s child included. I will not allow the sins of the father to dictate my feelings towards an innocent child.”
“You do not know how happy you’ve made me.” I am on top of you in seconds, showering you with tearful kisses, your arms come around and wrap around my waist.
“Let me see if I can amplify that happiness.” you leer and my joyful laughter turns into sensual moans that have my body pleading you for more. 
 

***

There is something coming. Looming just above the horizon, this menacing presence weighs heavy on my soul. It is a silent vibration of foreboding death and it will not leave me. I know there is war coming. I can feel the restless energy of your men, refusing to remain idle, they hunger for battle. The village women are anxious, dread and sorrow coalescing as they helpless watch their men gather in the village square offering their lives for you.

These men, these fathers, brothers, husbands, uncles, and nephews who gather and promise you allegiance will not be seen by their loved ones again and yet they wish to be by your side. The need to fight to reclaim a kingdom is too great and deeply rooted in them. It saddens me to know that peace can only come by bloodshed. Why must this be so? Why must blood be spilt when I can do something to stop all of this?
“Marik!” I race to you, desperate to reach you now. “Marik…I can stop this…this war…” I say breathlessly gripping your arm to steady myself.
“What? How?” 
“Let me go in your stead and I will give you back your kingdom.” You regard me with knitted brow before it dawns on you my intent. Your anger is like a rushing wave.
“Over my dead body.” 
“It will be if you do not listen to me!” 
“No! I will not allow it! And that’s the end of it.”
“You are not my husband!”

Your scowl is fierce as you approach and grip my arms.
“I may not be your husband, but in the eyes of God, I swear to you Lea that you are as mine as Eve was to Adam and I will be doubly damned if I allow you to run back to that snake!” your kiss is fierce and then you pull away and your anger has gone, evaporated into the little space between us. “I cannot allow you to do that. You cannot ask this of me, Lealin…anything but this.” your lips touch my forehead and I can hear your desperation.
“Allow me to speak with him, Marik. He loves me, if I can play on his love for me than I know I can secure your kingdom back.”
“What is a kingdom to me when the price is your life? What is a kingdom to me, when I will not have you to rule it with? Would you deprive me of a life with you? A lover to grow old with, laugh and raise an army of children with? A wife to cherish for a breath of eternity and beyond?”
“What? What are you saying?” How positively eloquent I sound. 
“Grace me with your presence and your beacon of love?” I think I may have lost my mind, my love, for I cannot comprehend what you are saying.

As if to make it clear you fall to your knees before me. Proud, mighty king on his knees before his concubine. The villagers are flabbergasted, your men slack-jawed. You fail to care as you have eyes for me alone.

“I believe I have loved you since that day so long ago, when I rescued you. I was a foolish, egotistical, stubborn and prideful boy and yet through it all I knew deep down that I loved you and it scared me in ways I cannot begin to explain.” Oh surely, I am dreaming? 
“Marik…”
“After all these years I’ve found that I cannot function unless you are near. There is simply no me without you. Lea, sweet wondrous, Lea, you have quite ruined me for anyone else and I cannot imagine a better way to be. So I ask you, here and now, in front of my people, in front of our sons, will you have me for a husband?” 
 

***

How long, how truly long have I waited for this moment to come? All that I have gone through, all the tears I have shed just for this moment. Perfection is nothing else but this, you on bended knee asking me to be with you. A life…an eternity…true and complete happiness. I fall to my knees before you, reaching out to hold your hands lest I find myself in a faint. 
I lean my head forehead against yours, I lick my lips, the pricks of newly formed tears are flooding behind my eyelids and I blink them away. “You do not know how long I have waited to hear those words from your lips, Marik.” Your smile is like the sun, warming every inch of my being. Your hand squeezes my own. It is just you and I, ensconced in a world all our own.
“Do you wish me to say them again?” You kiss me. “I will say them forever and a day. Whisper them, shout them, however you wish it my love.” oh how high my heart soars! 
“You have become a sentimental poet,” I softy jest. 
“Yes, love will do that to a man, I’ve come to learn. Mock me all you want but I know that I love you. I know that it is with you that I want to spend my days with, grow ancient with.” I laugh at that.
“Then yes, a thousand times yes!” your lips are against mine, the kiss we share is simply sweet, drawn out and beautiful. Than so very unexpectedly you rise and swiftly pick me from the ground and you are spinning me, your laughter is infectious. 
But too soon I stop you, your eyes search mine in puzzlement, sorrow fills me at what I am about to say. “I will not wed you under these circumstances. I want peace, Marik. Fintan, Ciaran and Liam deserve that. Your people deserve that.
We
deserve…”
“No. Do not start this again. Lea, I am pleading with you to drop this foolishness. Valancette would sooner kill you than…”
I grasp your forearms as you gently cup my face. “No, he won’t kill me…”
“And what makes you so sure? Just because you spread your legs for him?” you whisper harshly. 
“How can you be so cruel?” I make to step away, but your grip is relentless. 
“How can you be so naïve?”
I sigh and lean my head against your shoulder, suddenly exhausted. “I do not wish to fight, Marik.” Your arms are around me, comforting and strong. 
“Forgive me.” you softly whisper. “Don’t ask me to let you go, Lea, when I’ve only just found you again. Please, my own.” Your hold of me is so tight that I can hear the echoes of your heartbeats through the layers of clothes, but I cannot protest because I hold you just as tightly your fear a match to my own.
 

***

What I do now I do only for the hope of securing a better, bloodless future for all involved. I know what I say when I tell you that Lucian would never wish me harm, his heart will not allow him to do so. Five years spent with a person and one learns to pick up on a few things. It is with this knowledge that I go to spare the souls of hundreds.

I may not be as skilled with a sword as you are my love, but I know my arrows will not fail me, for they are the only weapons I am familiar with. 
The night is calm, the air still, the village is asleep, and I know you will be much aggrieved when you find my missive on the morn but this must be done. This impeding war must be stopped even if one person is to die in order to spare others, than this sacrifice I willingly make. With little hesitation I straddle the massive thoroughbred and with slight tightening of my thighs against his sides, the horse starts an even gate out of the village.

The beaming rays of moonlight as my companion I gallop my way through the dark forest. My heart stutters against my breastbone, fear of the unknown grips me, but the urgency of the future prompts me to determinedly continue on. It’s so dark, trees so massive in size resemble monsters with elongated arms ready to snatch me from the horse, and the moon’s rays no longer guide me.
Darkness has never been my companion, and now I wonder if my fear alone can choke me to death. Wouldn’t that be entirely anticlimactic? Heroine killed by fear. My morose musing brings a hesitant smile to my lips. Of all the time to find my humor it had to be here and now. I sigh and tighten my hold on the reins as I lean over the horse, wanting to race my way out before I completely give in to my insanity. 
I know not how long before I finally reach the edge, but as I near the ending to the forest, I see the fingers of dawn stretch over the still dark sky. It is a welcome change from the seemingly endless darkness of the forest and just as I clear my way out, the looming palace of Noria greets me. 
I know you have found me missing by now. It will not be long before you come for me, that thought alone urges me to work the horse faster. I must speak with Lucian before it grows too late. 
“Put down your weapons, I am the king’s consort!” I shout, at the arrows aimed my way. The hood of my cloak comes off and I know they recognize me as two guards quickly approach and I willingly allow myself to be captured. 

***

I do not remember this way, this is certainly not the way to the royal chambers and too late I find that they are carrying me to the dungeons and I began to struggle.
“No! You must take me to see the king!” Panic chokes me as I am thrown to the dingy, wet floor, the foul stench of bodily waste assaults my senses. 
“The king will tell us whether he wishes to see you or not. As of now, you are a traitor and must be treated as such.” with that the two guards spun on their heel and left. 

***

In this bone chilling darkness that surrounds me I find sanity slipping. Guilt and loneliness are devious entities feasting on the crumbs of hope I dearly cling to. My fear is insurmountable. You cannot imagine how hard I wish you were here. But then you are. Only a distance away from me. Fintan, Ciaran and my little Liam are by your side. The light that surrounds you all is nearly blinding, but I can see you. You all beckon me to join you, be a family…peace.

I do not question your appearances. I am on my feet, running towards you all. Joy fills my chest. So close, so very close, only an arm’s length away now…soon my love…soon my sweet children. Your Mama will be with you! You are there I can practically feel your embrace. But then, suddenly, you’re all gone. The spray of your hot blood splatters against my flesh!
“Marik!” the echo of my voice reverberates against invisible walls, and continues on and on until it falls faint. Like a woman gone mad, once again cocooned by darkness, I cry out for you and our children. And then suddenly I come to a startling thought. What if…what if this is my burial ground…my tomb…buried alive and alone for my foolish haste? What if this is my hell? Without you, without Fintan and Cairan and my beautiful Liam? Please, let it not be so.

***
 

With a gasp I come awake and began to wheeze from the cloying stench of my cell. Once I find that I can breathe without the need to heave I slowly crane my neck to the small hole above my head. Another sunset…two days I have been kept in this hell. No guards to plead with or even threaten to release me. Whatever food left by the previous occupant of this cell had been chewed and nibbled on by the rodents that now starred at me with malicious red eyes, scheming to next nibble on me. My throat contracts and I begin to cough once more as the thought of water teasingly runs through my mind. 
“Please…release me! Lucian! Anyone!” gripping the bars of my cell I scream to no one…“Please…” I finish, exhausted, aching and heartbroken. I lean my forehead to the bars and allow myself the tears. 
My foolish haste has doomed us all, the guilt and sorrow are boundless. 
“I must say, it’s quite pleasing seeing you this way.” Krea! With as much strength as I can muster I lift my head and stare into the devious eyes of the bane of my existence; villainous bitch.
She opens the cell door and comes to kneel before me. With a derisive smile she reaches out to touch my cheek. “Do not worry, dearest Lea. When you are dead I will personally see to it that your precious little son joins you.”  I take strength in the fury coursing through my veins and lash out; my hand catches her across the cheek.
“Touch one hair on my child’s head and I will make you live to regret it.”
She rises and the unexpected blow to my side from her booted feet brings me to the ground. Rage drives her ensuing attacks, but desperation has me fighting back. I successfully manage to grab a hold of her foot and twist as much as my strength would allow. With a keening wail she comes crashing down beside me, the dagger carefully held within her grasp clatters a few feet away. Taking advantage of her momentary daze I scramble on my knees and palm the dagger seconds before she can find her bearing.
“You should be thankful that I’m merciful enough not to kill you.” I whisper breathlessly before plunging the blade into the palm of her hand and twisting until I hear a satisfying crunch; her screams mean very little to me as I stumble out of the open cell.