The Complicated Earl (25 page)

Isabelle
felt the usual tightening of her stomach when she thought of him leaving. “If you really need to speak, go ahead, but there isn’t any need you know. I have forgiven you for your outburst, I did on the night it happened.”

“Really?
I know you mentioned that before, but I thought you were just trying to appease me.” Tom could not believe that she was so matter of fact about it. He was not sure if in her place, he would have been so forgiving.

“Yes,” Isabelle smiled. “I understand los
ing control in a moment of madness. It is only what I did with Frank when I slapped his face.”

“
I wish I could have seen that after all he said to you! I didn’t lose control as such, well I did,” Tom said frankly, “But it was because I thought you were going to marry someone else.”

Isabelle frowned. “You don’t need to do this.” She said quietly.

“Isabelle, please listen. On our way to Scotland I was foolish.” Isabelle stiffened at his words and Tom quickly corrected himself. “Not foolish with what happened in the carriage, foolish about the way I reacted afterwards. I hurt you and for that I can never forgive myself. I have grown so used to avoiding any closeness with anyone that when I wanted it to happen I did not know what to do.”

“You seemed s
ure of your actions at the time.” Isabelle could not be quite so forgiving at the rejection she had received, she had willingly responded to him and to have been dismissed by him in the way she had still caused her hurt and embarrassment.

“I know and it was only when I
returned to the inn and you had left that I realised what I’d done and what I had lost.” Tom continued talking before Isabelle could interrupt. “I thought it was only fair to stay out of your life after how I’d behaved. I returned home and threw myself into anything and everything, but as soon as I received James’s invitation I knew I had only been waiting for an excuse to see you.”

“You could have come before,” Isabelle said unconvinced.
Although in some way this was what she had wanted to hear since his rejection. She could not forget that he had rejected her and in such a way that had made her feel cheap. Being told their actions had been nothing more than a dalliance, had hurt as much as Frank’s words, more so as she thought more of Tom than she did of her brother.

“I could, but as with most males, I have too much pride and even when I saw you I wasn’t exactly throwing myself at your feet was I?
I don’t understand why but every time I was in your company I was so angry. I wanted you, but could not take a risk by declaring that I had acted in haste on our journey, then I realised that your family were encouraging a marriage between you and the clergyman.”

“Who hasn’t been anywhere near me for weeks,” Isabelle said wryly.
“It was obviously not a long lasting attachment on his part. Fortunately my heart will survive.” It was true Mr Roberts had been noticeable by his absence since the wedding day. She did not know if he had heard any gossip, or had been told by her brothers that she had received an offer of marriage from the Earl, either way his attachment appeared to be at an end. Isabelle was grateful for small mercies, she did not want any further complications at this moment, but she was also relieved that she had not talked herself into a marriage with Mr Roberts, he had obviously not had any serious intentions towards her to be so easily discouraged.

“More fool him, but I’m glad of it. Isabelle what I am trying to say in a very bad way is would you please reconsider your decision and marry me?”

Isabelle flushed, even though she had known when he started talking that this was what he was leading too. In her heart she knew he was the man she loved, but he had not spoken of love and she could not be with him knowing that he did not love her, but could she really live without him?

She did not know what to answer and tried to delay a response. “Why
are you asking me again? What would we gain?” she asked.

“We are a perfect
match, we both have shied away from society and marriage. We challenge each other. It would be a marriage of equals, which can only lead to happiness surely?” Tom replied quickly as if he had already prepared reasons to convince her.

Isabelle’s heart
sank, he never mentioned love at all and probably never would. She could not marry without love. “You don’t need to do this because of your feelings of guilt at your outburst. I told you weeks ago that I will deal with the gossip, there is no need for you to be forced into marriage out of obligation.”

“I’m not being forced into marriage
, you know me well enough to know that I would never do anything I did not want to and this decision is not because of guilt. Isabelle I promise to make you happy and I know you will make me happy.” He was convinced she was going to say no and he was at a loss as to what to say further to convince her. He could not lay himself open and declare his love for her, that would put him in exactly the same position his father had been in, but he needed her to agree to marriage with him.

Isabelle looked
at him. His gaze was intense, as it always seemed to be when he looked at her. She knew without a question that she loved him, but what he felt she did not know. Perhaps he was right, perhaps happiness and compatibility would be enough in marriage and he would eventually come to love her through those. She could say no to his proposal, but when she had to make a final decision and stick to it, she was not convinced that she could never see him again. She cursed her weakness and let her gaze fall. I want him to love me and he does not, she thought with remorse.

“Isabelle?” Tom
prodded her for a response. He had seen the emotions crossing her face and dreaded her reply.

“I will marry you,” she answered quietly, not meeting his gaze.

Tom breathed a huge sigh of relief, “Thank you. I promise you will not regret your decision.”

But Isabelle
misinterpreting the sigh was already regretting it.

Chapter
17

The next two days passed in a blur for Isabelle. James and Mary had been delighted with the new
s that she was to marry Tom after all. Letters had been sent off to Sophie and Frank and James and the Earl spent time together working out the details of the union. Isabelle had agreed to marry in a month, there did not seem any reason to delay once the decision had been made. The only point Isabelle had any firm opinions on was where they were to marry. James had wanted her to marry from his home, but she had refused, wanting to be married in Bath. Tom agreed to the scheme, he was feeling in a way he had never before felt, happy at the thought of his future. He was pushing his concerns and fears to the back of his mind. At the moment he would have agreed to anything Isabelle wanted.

As they sat in the drawing r
oom during the evening, plans were beginning to formulate. “I need to spend some time in Bath before the wedding,” Isabelle said.

“Why?” James was a little worried his sister would change her mind once in the familiar surroundings of Bath and he would only be totally
relieved when the whole sorry episode was over and she was actually married.

“I need to decide what I want to bring with me to
Kent, I presume we will be living there?” She replied looking questioningly at Tom. “Also, I want to say goodbye to my friends. They would think less of me if I didn’t.”

“Surely you can send word of what you want to keep?” James said
a little belligerently.

One look at the expression
on Isabelle’s face and Tom thought it prudent to intervene. “I think Isabelle is correct in returning to Bath. It would seem odd for her not to return and especially as the wedding is to be held there. Anything needed for the day can be bought beforehand. I can meet up with Sophie and Sidney and follow Isabelle to Bath and stay at Laura Place before the wedding, I have still time left on the lease of the house I rented with Sophie.”

Isabelle smiled at him in thanks. “Do you think Sophie
and Mr Arnold would accompany me to stay in Great Pulteney Street? I know it is only a few steps away from Laura Place, but if she was able to stay with me, it would mean that James and Mary could finally spend some time alone.”

Mary tried
to protest at this but Tom cut in, “I’m sure once Sophie realises she would be helping you to pick out wedding trousseau, there will be no further persuasion needed. Sidney has my sympathy though, I shall need to let him escape to Laura Place occasionally.”

Isabelle smiled at the co
mment, whenever possible Tom tried to banter with her and she appreciated his efforts at trying to return to the light-hearted time of their early acquaintance. “That settles it then. I shall write to Sophie asking her if she is willing and dependent on her availability I can make arrangements to travel to Bath.”

Sophie responded quickly to Isabelle’s request. She would be delighted to stay with her in Bath and would use the opportunity of bringing Charlotte Arnold back with her to London
when the visit ended. They were to meet when James and Mary left and travel to Great Pulteney Street the following Monday, which would be less than three weeks before the wedding.

Isabelle was not sure what she felt each time she thought of being married. Since the announcement she
had not been alone with Tom. He was well enough now that he no longer needed her nursing and he seemed to be determined to spend time with James and Mary. They had been engaged for almost a week when Isabelle entered the library to see him reading the newspaper alone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you,” Isabelle said
apologetically, not knowing whether she should stay or leave.

“You are not
disturbing me at all,” Tom smiled. “I wanted to speak with you in any case.”

Isabelle sat on the edge of the chair. “How can I help?”

Tom looked surprised, “We were never so formal Isabelle, is anything wrong?”

“No, it
feels a little strange, that is all,” Isabelle replied honestly.

Tom
put his paper down and sat forward. “I hoped you would enjoy the build-up to our wedding, but if there is anything wrong you must tell me. That is not what I wanted to speak to you about though. The other evening you mentioned about where we are going to live, you said you presumed Kent. Are you happy to live there?” He acknowledged that he was holding himself stiff, waiting for her response.

“It is your family home,” Isabelle replied.

“Yes, but are you happy with that? If you would prefer London we can live there, or even if you would prefer Hampshire, to be near Mary and James, we could buy a place nearby.”

Isabelle
smiled, it was a kind gesture to offer to live outside the county she knew he loved. “Kent is fine, I have never been there, but you and Sophie convinced me previously that it was a beautiful county. I am happy to live in your family home.”

Tom
stood and took hold of Isabelle’s hands, forcing her to stand. “Thank you Isabelle. I cannot claim that my home has been a content one and experienced the family security as this house has, but it is dear to me as my ancestral home. If you are sure you are content to live there I promise to make you comfortable in any way that I can. You are making me very happy. I appreciate what you are giving up and promise that whenever you want to travel to Hampshire we shall come.”

Isabelle picked up on the refe
rence of unhappiness in Tom’s history, but did not feel it was appropriate to question him about it at the moment, so instead she smiled, “I wish I would have known at the start of our acquaintance how easy it was to make you so compliant, I would have agreed to marry you on our first meeting!”

T
om laughed, “I always knew a compliant husband was something you could not cope with! Come here.” He pulled her into his chest and folded his arms around her. “I have held off touching you while everything was a bit of a whirl, but your impertinence as made me see the error of my ways.”

Isabel
le was not surprised at the willingness she had allowed herself in being pulled into Tom’s embrace, in all honesty she knew she had wanted to feel him hold her since the day in the carriage. She looked up to him and with a mischievous grin said, “What is to be my punishment my Lord?”

“Oh I can think of all sorts of punishmen
t, starting with this,” Tom said bending his head and kissing her.

He tried to be restrained, tried to make it a chaste kiss, but once his lips had touched hers, he was lost. He pulled her to him roughly and kissed her with all the passion that had built inside him since he had first touched her. Isabelle responded to h
im, she was powerless to do anything else. The touch of his hands down her back, set her skin on fire and as his tongue probed her mouth, she felt the heady sensation of wanting something more from him, without knowing what. She moaned and Tom stopped and looked at her face.

“Isabelle, I want you, I don’t know if I can wait three more weeks,” he whispered huskily.

Isabelle’s eyes widened, it was gratifying to know he wanted her, even if he did not love her. “We must wait, mustn’t we?”

“O
h God, don’t tempt me,” Tom moaned, but at the look in her eyes he bent down and kissed her neck and down to her shoulders. She moaned his name as he kissed every inch of her bare skin and moved down to the front of her dress. She gasped as his mouth found the edge of her dress and he stopped. He raised his head to meet her wide eyes with a smile. “So far I have done everything wrongly and I am determined to do this correctly. You can have the satisfaction of knowing that with your every look you will be driving me insane until we are married, but I am determined we shall have a perfect wedding night.”

Isabelle was partly disappointed, partly relieved, she was nervous about her lack of expe
rience and knowing that he must have been with many women in the past only added to her nervousness, she would hate to be a disappointment. “I hope I won’t....what I mean to say is, I hope you won’t be.....are you sure it will be perfect for you?” she asked hesitantly blushing furiously.

Tom
smiled and kissed her before answering. “Isabelle, it will be perfect for both of us, I promise you.”

“But you have.....and I have not,” Isabelle stammered, for the first time in her life struggling to express herself in any coherent way. How did you question your future husband about his past mistresses and conquests?

Tom did not know whether to laugh or be angry, he cursed his reputation and the damage it could do to his marriage. He took Isabelle’s face in his hands and stared deeply into her eyes. “Isabelle listen to me, my reputation has been over exaggerated in some cases and deserved in others.” He saw a flicker of pain pass over her face and his stomach lurched. He never wanted to inflict pain on this woman and yet he seemed to at every turn. He quickly carried on talking to try and reassure her. “Whatever has gone on in the past, it doesn’t matter, our marriage is all about us and we can learn about each other together. Please do not worry, I promise there is no need.” He bent and kissed her gently, she was more precious to him than he thought possible, he was determined not to make her unhappy. Whether she would make him unhappy as his mother had his father remained to be seen, but he refused to dwell on such thoughts with Isabelle standing before him, her face flushed with passion and embarrassment.  At the moment she only wanted him and he would content himself with that.

Isabelle suddenly wanted to be married and she was ashamed to admit to herself that it stemmed from wanting to experience everything that a man and woman could. She had known that she loved him, only that he did not love her, but after what he had said
in the library and the way he had looked at her, he must feel something for her. Every time she closed her eyes she saw his face and felt as if she could feel his touch again. She was sure she was not meant to enjoy a man’s touch as much as she did his and she questioned her morals at her longing for it to go further, but she wanted to be with him and wished for the time to pass quickly.

*

Isabelle was to go to Bath before Tom, he was travelling to London first to collect some jewellery he had asked Isabelle to wear on their wedding day. James and Mary left for London the morning Isabelle was leaving, they had decided to take advantage of the arrangements and spend two weeks in London before travelling to Bath. They would all meet again the week before the wedding.

Isabelle waited for Sophie to
arrive, she had stayed in an inn a few hours away. The excuse had been used that Sophie wanted to break the journey up but in reality it had not felt right to have Sophie in the family home. Everyone would meet at Bath, but it was out of respect for Mary that Tom and Isabelle had agreed on this course of action. As soon as Mary and James had left Tom took Isabelle by the hand and led her into the library.

Isabelle followed, laughing and pretending to protest. “Tom, I need to be ready for when Sophie arrives!”

“She will not be here for at least another hour and this is the last time I will see you alone before we are married,” came the quick answer as he shut the door firmly.

Isabelle’s eyes widened, “W
hat do you intend to do?”

“This.” He pulled her to him and kissed her as always, wanting to be restrained, but the moment their lips met, he was taken over by a passion that shook him. He leant her against the door as he devoured her mouth with kisses that took her breath away. When she moaned he moved down to her shoulder and left a trail of kisses along her shou
lder to the edge of her dress. “I have dreamt of having you alone again, do you know how you drive me mad?” He asked as he moved his hands up her body to brush past her breast.

“I wanted you too, but felt ashamed,” Isabelle whispered back feeling young and inexperienced.

“Never, never feel ashamed of your feelings, as long as they involve you wanting me!” He said with a rakish smile. “I just want you to know that I am counting the days until I can have you fully.”

Isabelle flushed a little. “I am too.”

Tom moaned and held her head to his chest. “Why didn’t I find you years ago? All those years wasted, we have to promise to make up for lost time.”

Isabelle felt comfort from his words. He was formal when they were in the company of others, but when they were alone, he was passionate.
The niggle that came to her after each encounter was that passion was not love was not dwelt on during their encounters. How could she not be captivated by his attentions? She would wonder late into each night if passion could turn to love for him, for it was becoming more important to her that he loved her.

The sound of a carriage made the
m quickly pull away and Tom cursed. “My sister and her timing as always,” he muttered as he pulled away from Isabelle and straightened his jacket. He leant over and kissed Isabelle quickly on the lips. “Until our wedding night Miss Crawford.”

Isabelle quickly straightene
d her hair and followed Tom out into the hallway. She hoped that Sophie would not notice how flustered she was, but when Sophie entered she was so full of hugs and congratulations that she did not notice anything amiss. She soon hurried Isabelle into starting on her journey, they had a lot to do and Sophie was desperate to set off.