The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (541 page)

DON PEDRO

Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

Has any man seen him at the barber’s?

CLAUDIO

No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him; and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls.

No, but the barber’s assistant has been seen with him; and the hair that used to decorate his face is now stuffing tennis balls.

LEONATO

Indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

Indeed, he looks younger than he did, now that he has no beard.

DON PEDRO

Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that?

Now, if he rubs himself with cologne, can you smell him out by that?

CLAUDIO

That's as much as to say the sweet youth's in love.

DON PEDRO

The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

The most obvious sign of it is his melancholy.

CLAUDIO

And when was he wont to wash his face?

And since when has he had a tendency to wash his face?

DON PEDRO

Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him.

Yes, or to decorate himself? For I have heard they say he does.

CLAUDIO

Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string, and new-governed by stops.

No, only his jesting spirit; which has now crept into a lute-string, and is newly controlled by holes.

DON PEDRO

Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude he is in love.

Indeed, the evidence is strong. Conclude, conclude he is in love.

CLAUDIO

Nay, but I know who loves him.

No, but I know who loves him.

DON PEDRO

That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

I know that too: I figure someone who does not know him.

CLAUDIO

Yes, and his ill conditions; and in despite of all, dies for him.

Yes, and his flaws; and despite all of it, dies for him.

DON PEDRO

She shall be buried with her face upwards.

BENEDICK

Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear.

Yet this is no cure for a toothache. Old sir, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these jokesters must not hear.

[Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO.]

DON PEDRO

For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.

By my life, he intends to ask for Beatrice’s hand.

CLAUDIO

'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.

It is so. Hero and Margaret have by this time played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.

[Enter DON JOHN.]

DON JOHN

My lord and brother, God save you!

DON PEDRO

Good den, brother.

Hello, brother.

DON JOHN

If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

If you have the time, I would like to speak with you.

DON PEDRO

In private?

DON JOHN

If it please you; yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him.

If it pleases you; yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I wish to speak of involves him.

DON PEDRO

What's the matter?

DON JOHN

[To CLAUDIO.] Means your lordship to be married to-morrow?

Does your lordship mean to be married tomorrow?

DON PEDRO

You know he does.

DON JOHN

I know not that, when he knows what I know.

I don’t know about that, when he knows what I know.

CLAUDIO

If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

If there is any obstacle, please reveal it.

DON JOHN

You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage; surely suit ill-spent and labour ill bestowed!

You may think I dislike you: let that prove wrong from now on, and think better of me by what I will share with you now. For my brother, I think he holds you in high esteem, and in his fondness has helped to bring about your ensuing marriage; surely a waste of time and terrible gift!

DON PEDRO

Why, what's the matter?

DON JOHN

I came hither to tell you; and circumstances shortened,--for she has been too long a talking of,--the lady is disloyal.

I came here to tell you; and to put it briefly, -- for we have discussed her for too long already, -- the lady is disloyal.

CLAUDIO. Who, Hero?

DON JOHN

Even she: Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero.

CLAUDIO

Disloyal?

DON JOHN

The word's too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say, she were worse: think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall see her chamber-window entered, even the night before her wedding-day: if you love her then, to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind.

The word’s too good to describe her wickedness; I could say she was worse: you think of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Do not wonder until there is further reason: just go with me tonight, you shall see her chamber-window entered, even the night before her wedding day: if you love her then, marry her tomorrow; but it would better fit your honor to change your mind.

CLAUDIO

May this be so?

Could this be true?

DON PEDRO

I will not think it.

DON JOHN

If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know. If you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly.

If you do not dare trust what you see, do not confess that you know. If you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly.

CLAUDIO

If I see anything to-night why I should not marry her to-morrow, in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her.

If I see anything tonight that shows why I should not marry her tomorrow, in the congregation, where I should marry, I will shame her there.

DON PEDRO

And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.

And as I helped you get her, I will join with you to disgrace her.

DON JOHN

I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.

I will criticize her no further until you are my witnesses: bear it patiently only till midnight, and let the issue prove itself.

DON PEDRO

O day untowardly turned!

Oh day turned unlucky!

CLAUDIO

O mischief strangely thwarting!

Oh mischief strangely ruining!

DON JOHN

O plague right well prevented! So will you say when you have seen the sequel.

Oh terrible fate right well prevented! That is what you will say when you have seen the second part.

[Exeunt.]

A Street.

[Enter DOGBERRY and VERGES, with the Watch.]

DOGBERRY

Are you good men and true?

Are you good and loyal men?

VERGES

Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.

Yes, or else it would be a pity that they would suffer salvation [he means damnation], body and soul. .

DOGBERRY

Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the prince's watch.

No, that would be a punishment to good for them, if they have any allegiance in them, being chosen as the prince’s guards.

VERGES

Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.

Well, assign them their tasks, neighbor Dogberry.

DOGBERRY

First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?

First, who do you think is the best man to be the constable?

FIRST WATCH

Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal; for they can write and read.

DOGBERRY

Come hither, neighbour Seacoal. God hath blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.

Come here, neighbor Seacoal. God has blessed you with a good reputation: to be a well-liked man is the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.

SECOND WATCH

Both which, Master Constable,--

DOGBERRY

You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.

You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your being liked, sir, why, give God thanks, and do not boast about it; and as for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man to be the constable of the guards; therefore, carry the lantern. This is your charge: you shall notice all vagrant men; you are to tell any man to stand, in the prince’s name.

SECOND WATCH

How, if a' will not stand?

How, if he will not stand?

DOGBERRY

Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.

Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and soon after that call the rest of the guards together, and thank God you have gotten rid of a scoundrel.

VERGES

If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince's subjects.

If he will not stand when he is told to, he is not one of the prince’s subjects.

DOGBERRY

True, and they are to meddle with none but the prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets: for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.

SECOND WATCH

We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.

DOGBERRY

Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend; only have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.

Why, you speak like an old-fashioned and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend; only be careful that no one steals your money. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses, and tell those that are drunk to get to bed.

SECOND WATCH

How if they will not?