The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (168 page)

Exit Ambassadors.

Exeter

This was a merry message.

That was a happy message.

King

We hope to make the sender blush at it.


Therefore, my lords, omit no happy hour


That may give furtherance to our expedition;


For we have now no thought in us but France,


Save those to God, that run before our business.


Therefore, let our proportions for these wars


Be soon collected, and all things thought upon


That may with reasonable swiftness add


More feathers to our wings; for, God before,


We'll chide this Dauphin at his father's door.


Therefore let every man now task his thought,


That this fair action may on foot be brought.

I hope it makes his messengers blush. However, let’s not waste any time. Our every thought must be of France, except for those that will run our affairs at home. Let’s get prepared for war. Collect everything we need so we may leave quickly. We’ll correct Dauphin at his father’s door. Everyone needs to get to their tasks to make this happen.

Exit. Flourish.

Enter Chorus.

Chorus

Now all the youth of England are on fire,


And silken dalliance in the wardrobe lies.


Now thrive the armourers, and honour's thought


Reigns solely in the breast of every man.


They sell the pasture now to buy the horse,


Following the mirror of all Christian kings,


With winged heels, as English Mercuries.


For now sits Expectation in the air,


And hides a sword from hilts unto the point


With crowns imperial, crowns, and coronets,


Promis'd to Harry and his followers.


The French, advis'd by good intelligence


Of this most dreadful preparation,


Shake in their fear, and with pale policy


Seek to divert the English purposes.


O England! model to thy inward greatness,


Like little body with a mighty heart,


What mightst thou do, that honour would thee do,


Were all thy children kind and natural!


But see thy fault! France hath in thee found out


A nest of hollow bosoms, which he fills


With treacherous crowns; and three corrupted men,


One, Richard Earl of Cambridge, and the second,


Henry Lord Scroop of Masham, and the third,


Sir Thomas Grey, knight of Northumberland,


Have, for the gilt of France,--O guilt indeed!--


Confirm'd conspiracy with fearful France;


And by their hands this grace of kings must die,


If hell and treason hold their promises,


Ere he take ship for France, and in Southampton.


Linger your patience on, and we'll digest


The abuse of distance, force a play.


The sum is paid; the traitors are agreed;


The King is set from London; and the scene


Is now transported, gentles, to Southampton.


There is the playhouse now, there must you sit;


And thence to France shall we convey you safe,


And bring you back, charming the narrow seas


To give you gentle pass; for, if we may,


We'll not offend one stomach with our play.


But, till the King come forth, and not till then,


Unto Southampton do we shift our scene.

Now all the youth of England are on fire with the thoughts of war ahead, selling their land to buy horses. Expectation fills the air, as men prepare for war. The French, with knowledge of England’s invasion, shake in fear and try to create policies to divert the English. Oh, England! You are a model of greatness. If only all your children were so kind! But fault lies within three corrupt men, Richard, Earl of Cambridge, Henry, Lord Scroop of Masham, and Sir Thomas Grey, Knight of Northumberland. Oh, treachery and guilt! They conspire with France to bring down the king. Now, please be patient and watch as we perform the play. The sum is paid and the traitors have agreed. The king has left from London and arrived in Southampton. We will take you to France, but we will bring you back without offending your stomach, but not until the king comes. We are now in Southampton.

Exit.

Enter Corporal Nym and Lieutenant Bardolph.

Bardolph

Well met, Corporal Nym.

Welcome, Corporal Nym.

Nym

Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.

Hello, Lieutenant Bardolph.

Bardolph

What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet?

Are you and the Ancient Pistol friends, yet?

Nym

For my part, I care not. I say little; but when time shall


serve, there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will wink and hold out mine iron. It is a simple one, but what though? It will toast cheese, and it will endure cold as another man's sword will; and there's an end.

I don’t care. I say very little, but when the time comes, there will be smiles. I will not fight. I will wink and hold out my sword. It’s a simple one, but it will toast cheese, and it will take the cold as well as any other man’s.

Bardolph

I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and we'll


be all three sworn brothers to France. Let it be so, good


Corporal Nym.

I will hold a breakfast to make you friends and we’ll all be three sworn brothers when we travel to France. Is that okay, Corporal Nym?

Nym

Faith, I will live so long as I may, that's the certain of it; and when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may. That is my rest, that is the rendezvous of it.

I swear, I will live as long as I can. That I am certain of. And, when my time has come, I will do what I want.

Bardolph

It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly; and certainly she did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her.

It’s true, Corporal, that he is married to Nell, and she did you wrong because she was supposed to marry you.

Nym

I cannot tell. Things must be as they may. Men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time; and some say knives have edges. It must be as it may. Though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot tell.

I guess so. I am tired of being patient. There must be an end to this, although I don’t know when.

Enter Pistol and Hostess.

Bardolph

Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife. Good Corporal, be


patient here. How now, mine host Pistol!

Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife. Be good, Corporal. Be patient here. How are you my host, Pistol?

Pistol

Base tike, call'st thou me host?


Now, by this hand, I swear I scorn the term;


Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.

Did you call me a host? I am not your host and my Nell does not keep lodgers.

Hostess

No, by my troth, not long; for we cannot lodge and board a


dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles, but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight.

No, honestly, we cannot board twelve or fourteen women who make a living by sewing without someone thinking we run a brothel.

Nym and Pistol draw.

O well a day, Lady, if he be not drawn now! We shall see wilful adultery and murder committed.

Oh, he better draw now, or else we will see a murder and adultery committed today.

Bardolph

Good Lieutenant! good corporal! offer nothing here.

Good Lieutenant! Good Corporal! Don’t do this here.

Nym

Pish!

So what!

Pistol

Pish for thee, Iceland dog! thou prick-ear'd cur of Iceland!

So what, you Icelandic dog! You rascal of Iceland!

Hostess

Good Corporal Nym, show thy valour, and put up your sword.

Good Corporal Nym, show your valor and put away your sword.

Nym

Will you shog off? I would have you solus.

Will you go away? I would love to get you alone.

Pistol

"Solus," egregious dog! O viper vile!


The "solus" in thy most mervailous face;


The "solus" in thy teeth, and in thy throat,


And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,


And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth!


I do retort the "solus" in thy bowels;


For I can take, and Pistol's cock is up,


And flashing fire will follow.