The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (167 page)

BOOK: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated)
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We don’t worry about a few soldiers, but the entire kingdom of Scotland. My great-grandfather never went to war with France that the Scots tried to invade the country while it was defenseless, leaving England shaking with fear.

 

Canterbury

She hath been then more fear'd than harm'd, my liege;

For hear her but exampl'd by herself:

When all her chivalry hath been in France,

And she a mourning widow of her nobles,

She hath herself not only well defended

But taken and impounded as a stray

The King of Scots; whom she did send to France

To fill King Edward's fame with prisoner kings,

And make her chronicle as rich with praise

As is the ooze and bottom of the sea

With sunken wreck and sumless treasuries.

 

England may have been fearful, but she was never harmed, my liege. We apprehended the King of Scots while the army was in France and sent him there to King Edward. England was praised more than the ooze at the bottom of the sea.

 

Westmoreland

But there's a saying very old and true,

"If that you will France win,

Then with Scotland first begin."

For once the eagle England being in prey,

To her unguarded nest the weasel Scot

Comes sneaking and so sucks her princely eggs,

Playing the mouse in absence of the cat,

To tear and havoc more than she can eat.

 

Remember the old saying, “When the cat’s away, the mice will play.” If we win France, we will have to fight Scotland, next.

 

Exeter

It follows then the cat must stay at home;

Yet that is but a crush'd necessity,

Since we have locks to safeguard necessaries,

And pretty traps to catch the petty thieves.

While that the armed hand doth fight abroad,

The advised head defends itself at home;

For government, though high and low and lower,

Put into parts, doth keep in one consent,

Congreeing in a full and natural close,

Like music.

 

Then the cat must stay at home. However, that’s not necessary, for while the armed hand fights abroad, the head advisors will defend the home. The government, although split into different degrees, will work together as one like harmonious music.

 

Canterbury

Therefore doth heaven divide

The state of man in divers functions,

Setting endeavour in continual motion,

To which is fixed, as an aim or butt,

Obedience; for so work the honey-bees,

Creatures that by a rule in nature teach

The act of order to a peopled kingdom.

They have a king and officers of sorts,

Where some, like magistrates, correct at home,

Others like merchants, venture trade abroad,

Others, like soldiers, armed in their stings,

Make boot upon the summer's velvet buds,

Which pillage they with merry march bring home

To the tent-royal of their emperor;

Who, busied in his majesty, surveys

The singing masons building roofs of gold,

The civil citizens kneading up the honey,

The poor mechanic porters crowding in

Their heavy burdens at his narrow gate,

The sad-eyed justice, with his surly hum,

Delivering o'er to executors pale

The lazy yawning drone. I this infer,

That many things, having full reference

To one consent, may work contrariously.

As many arrows, loosed several ways,

Come to one mark; as many ways meet in one town;

As many fresh streams meet in one salt sea;

As many lines close in the dial's centre;

So many a thousand actions, once afoot,

End in one purpose, and be all well borne

Without defeat. Therefore to France, my liege!

Divide your happy England into four,

Whereof take you one quarter into France,

And you withal shall make all Gallia shake.

If we, with thrice such powers left at home,

Cannot defend our own doors from the dog,

Let us be worried and our nation lose

The name of hardiness and policy.

 

Heaven created men to have different functions like the honey bees. Honey bees are an example of order. They have a leader with diplomats, judges who correct others, and soldiers armed with stingers who bring home loot to their emperor while he watches his kingdom being built. So, I believe if we work together, we may have success in our common goal. Therefore, my king, divide your armies into four and take a quarter to France. Leave three times that many soldiers at home, and if we can’t defend ourselves, we should not call ourselves a nation.

 

King

Call in the messengers sent from the Dauphin.

 

Call in the messengers sent from the Dauphin.

 

Exit some Attendants.

 

Now are we well resolv'd; and, by God's help,

And yours, the noble sinews of our power,

France being ours, we'll bend it to our awe,

Or break it all to pieces. Or there we'll sit,

Ruling in large and ample empery

O'er France and all her almost kingly dukedoms,

Or lay these bones in an unworthy urn,

Tombless, with no remembrance over them.

Either our history shall with full mouth

Speak freely of our acts, or else our grave,

Like Turkish mute, shall have a tongueless mouth,

Not worshipp'd with a waxen epitaph.

 

Now, are we all in agreement. With God’s help and the power of you noble men, let’s take France. I will defeat France and take rule or you can put my bones in a poor man’s urn without a tomb or epitaph for remembrance.

 

Enter Ambassadors of France

 

Now are we well prepar'd to know the pleasure

Of our fair cousin Dauphin; for we hear

Your greeting is from him, not from the King.

 

We are ready to hear from our cousin, Dauphin, since we hear the greeting is from him, not the king.

 

First Ambassador

May't please your Majesty to give us leave

Freely to render what we have in charge,

Or shall we sparingly show you far off

The Dauphin's meaning and our embassy?

 

May we have your permission to speak freely?

 

King

We are no tyrant, but a Christian king,

Unto whose grace our passion is as subject

As is our wretches fett'red in our prisons;

Therefore with frank and with uncurbed plainness

Tell us the Dauphin's mind.

 

We are not a group of tyrants. I am a Christian king. Please speak freely and tell us what is on the Dauphin’s mind.

 

First Ambassador

Thus, then, in few.

Your Highness, lately sending into France,

Did claim some certain dukedoms, in the right

Of your great predecessor, King Edward the Third.

In answer of which claim, the prince our master

Says that you savour too much of your youth,

And bids you be advis'd there's nought in France

That can be with a nimble galliard won.

You cannot revel into dukedoms there.

He therefore sends you, meeter for your spirit,

This tun of treasure; and, in lieu of this,

Desires you let the dukedoms that you claim

Hear no more of you. This the Dauphin speaks.

 

In brief, you sent messages to France stating some claim to certain dukedoms based on your ancestor, King Edward the Third. The answer from our prince is you want too much, and there is nothing you can win in France. He sends you these treasures and asks that you make no more claims.

 

King

What treasure, uncle?

 

What treasure, uncle?

 

Exeter

Tennis-balls, my liege.

 

Tennis balls, my liege.

 

King

We are glad the Dauphin is so pleasant with us.

His present and your pains we thank you for.

When we have match'd our rackets to these balls,

We will, in France, by God's grace, play a set

Shall strike his father's crown into the hazard.

Tell him he hath made a match with such a wrangler

That all the courts of France will be disturb'd

With chaces. And we understand him well,

How he comes o'er us with our wilder days,

Not measuring what use we made of them.

We never valu'd this poor seat of England;

And therefore, living hence, did give ourself

To barbarous licence; as 'tis ever common

That men are merriest when they are from home.

But tell the Dauphin I will keep my state,

Be like a king, and show my sail of greatness

When I do rouse me in my throne of France.

For that I have laid by my majesty

And plodded like a man for working days,

But I will rise there with so full a glory

That I will dazzle all the eyes of France,

Yea, strike the Dauphin blind to look on us.

And tell the pleasant prince this mock of his

Hath turn'd his balls to gun-stones, and his soul

Shall stand sore charged for the wasteful vengeance

That shall fly with them; for many a thousand widows

Shall this his mock mock out of their dear husbands,

Mock mothers from their sons, mock castles down;

And some are yet ungotten and unborn

That shall have cause to curse the Dauphin's scorn.

But this lies all within the will of God,

To whom I do appeal; and in whose name

Tell you the Dauphin I am coming on

To venge me as I may, and to put forth

My rightful hand in a well-hallow'd cause.

So get you hence in peace; and tell the Dauphin

His jest will savour but of shallow wit,

When thousands weep more than did laugh at it.--

Convey them with safe conduct.--Fare you well.

 

We gladly accept the Dauphin’s present and thank you for bringing them. We will have to play a set when we march to France with our rackets. We will strike his father’s crown so hard that he will think he has made a match with a professional, and the courts in France will quake. I understand where the Dauphin is coming from, thinking of my wilder days, but I will act like a king when we sail to France, and the people will be amazed while the Dauphin will barely be able to look. Tell the good prince his joke has turned his balls into bullets and he will be sorry for mocking this court when thousands of windows will be made and mothers lose their sons and castles will be torn down. Even the unborn will rue the day he scorned us. However, everything relies on the will of God, upon whose name I call. Tell Dauphin I am coming to claim what is mine. Go in peace and tell him his joke will cause thousands more to weep than those who laughed. Go safely. Goodbye.

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