The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1104 page)

She shall be priz'd. But that you say 'Be't so,'

I speak it in my spirit and honour, 'No.'

Oh, don't be upset, Prince Troilus.

Allow me to use the privilege of my position

to speak freely. When I have gone

I'll do what I wish. And you should know, Lord,

I don't accept orders: she shall be treated well

because of her own worth; but absolutely not

because you've told me to.

TROILUS.

Come, to the port. I'll tell thee, Diomed,

This brave shall oft make thee to hide thy head.

Lady, give me your hand; and, as we walk,

To our own selves bend we our needful talk.

Come, to the gate. I tell you, Diomedes,

this boasting will backfire on you one day.

Lady, give me your hand; and, as we walk,

let's just talk to each other.

Exeunt TROILUS, CRESSIDA, and DIOMEDES

[Sound trumpet]

PARIS.

Hark! Hector's trumpet.

Hear that! Hector's trumpet.

AENEAS.

How have we spent this morning!

The Prince must think me tardy and remiss,

That swore to ride before him to the field.

How has all this time gone by!

The prince must think I am late and negligent,

I promised I would ride ahead of him on the battlefield.

PARIS.

'Tis Troilus' fault. Come, come to field with him.

It's Troilus' fault. Come, come to the battlefield with him.

DEIPHOBUS.

Let us make ready straight.

Let's get ready at once.

AENEAS.

Yea, with a bridegroom's fresh alacrity

Let us address to tend on Hector's heels.

The glory of our Troy doth this day lie

On his fair worth and single chivalry.

Yes, with the keenness of a bridegroom,

let's set ourselves to walk in Hector's footsteps.

The glory of Troy today rests

on his great honour and single combat.

Exeunt

Enter AJAX, armed; AGAMEMNON, ACHILLES, PATROCLUS, MENELAUS,

ULYSSES, NESTOR, and others

AGAMEMNON.

Here art thou in appointment fresh and fair,

Anticipating time with starting courage.

Give with thy trumpet a loud note to Troy,

Thou dreadful Ajax, that the appalled air

May pierce the head of the great combatant,

And hale him hither.

Here you are in your spick and span equipment,

ready to go with eager courage.

Blow a loud note on your trumpet for Troy,

awe-inspiring Ajax, so that the terrifying sound

can drive into the head of the great fighter,

and call him here.

AJAX.

Thou, trumpet, there's my purse.

Now crack thy lungs and split thy brazen pipe;

Blow, villain, till thy sphered bias cheek

Out-swell the colic of puff Aquilon'd.

Come, stretch thy chest, and let thy eyes spout blood:

Thou blowest for Hector. [Trumpet sounds]

You, trumpeter, here's your fee.

Now crack your lungs and burst your brass trumpet open;

blow, scoundrel, until your blown out cheeks

excel those of the North wind.

Come, fill up your lungs, and let your eyes spout blood:

you're blowing for Hector.

ULYSSES.

No trumpet answers.

There's no answering trumpet.

ACHILLES.

'Tis but early days.

It's early days.

Enter DIOMEDES, with CRESSIDA

AGAMEMNON.

Is not yond Diomed, with Calchas' daughter?

Isn't that Diomedes over there, with Calchas' daughter?

ULYSSES.

'Tis he, I ken the manner of his gait:

He rises on the toe. That spirit of his

In aspiration lifts him from the earth.

It's him, I know the way he walks:

he walks on the balls of his feet. His great spirit

lifts him above the earth.

AGAMEMNON.

Is this the lady Cressid?

Is that the lady Cressida?

DIOMEDES.

Even she.

That's the one.

AGAMEMNON.

Most dearly welcome to the Greeks, sweet lady.

The Greeks give you a warm welcome, sweet lady.

NESTOR.

Our general doth salute you with a kiss.

Our general greets you with a kiss.

ULYSSES.

Yet is the kindness but particular;

'Twere better she were kiss'd in general.

But that's just an individual kindness;

it would be better if she were generally kissed.

NESTOR.

And very courtly counsel: I'll begin.

So much for Nestor.

Very gallant advice: I'll go first.

Nestor is done.

ACHILLES.

I'll take that winter from your lips, fair lady.

Achilles bids you welcome.

I'll take the chill of the old man off your lips, fair Lady.

Achilles welcomes you.

MENELAUS.

I had good argument for kissing once.

I once had a good subject for kissing.

PATROCLUS.

But that's no argument for kissing now;

For thus popp'd Paris in his hardiment,

And parted thus you and your argument.

But that's no reason for you to kiss now;

for up popped hard bold Paris,

and split you from your subject.

ULYSSES.

O deadly gall, and theme of all our scorns!

For which we lose our heads to gild his horns.

What a terrible business, which makes a mockery of us!

We're being killed to put a better gloss on the fact that he's been cheated on.

PATROCLUS.

The first was Menelaus' kiss; this, mine-

[Kisses her again]

Patroclus kisses you.

That first kiss belonged to Menelaus; this one's for me–

[kisses her again]

Patroclus kisses you.

MENELAUS.

O, this is trim!

Oh, this is a fine thing!

PATROCLUS.

Paris and I kiss evermore for him.

Paris and I do his kissing for him now.

MENELAUS.

I'll have my kiss, sir. Lady, by your leave.

I shall have my kiss, sir. Lady, with your permission.

CRESSIDA.

In kissing, do you render or receive?

In kissing, are you giving or receiving?

PATROCLUS.

Both take and give.

Both taking and giving.

CRESSIDA.

I'll make my match to live,

The kiss you take is better than you give;

Therefore no kiss.

I'll bet my life,

the kiss you take is better than the one you give;

so no kiss for you.

MENELAUS.

I'll give you boot; I'll give you three for one.

I'll give you odds; I'll give you three for one.

CRESSIDA.

You are an odd man; give even or give none.

You are an odd man; match what you get or don't give at all.

MENELAUS.

An odd man, lady? Every man is odd.

An odd man, lady? Every man is odd.

CRESSIDA.

No, Paris is not; for you know 'tis true

That you are odd, and he is even with you.

No, Paris is not; you know it's true

that you are odd, and he is quits with you.

MENELAUS.

You fillip me o' th' head.

You're touching a sensitive spot.

CRESSIDA.

No, I'll be sworn.

No, I swear not.

ULYSSES.

It were no match, your nail against his horn.

May I, sweet lady, beg a kiss of you?

It wasn't a fair fight, your nail against his horn.

May I, sweet lady, ask you for a kiss?

CRESSIDA.

You may.

You may.

ULYSSES.

I do desire it.

I desire it.

CRESSIDA.

Why, beg then.

Well then, beg.

ULYSSES.

Why then, for Venus' sake give me a kiss

When Helen is a maid again, and his.

Well then, for the sake of love, give me a kiss

when Helen is in her proper place as his wife–

CRESSIDA.

I am your debtor; claim it when 'tis due.

I owe it to you; claim it when it's due.

ULYSSES.

Never's my day, and then a kiss of you.

It seems I'll never get that kiss then.

DIOMEDES.

Lady, a word. I'll bring you to your father.

Lady, a word. I'll take you to your father.

Exit with CRESSIDA

NESTOR.

A woman of quick sense.

A quickwitted woman.

ULYSSES.

Fie, fie upon her!

There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,

Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out

At every joint and motive of her body.

O these encounters so glib of tongue

That give a coasting welcome ere it comes,

And wide unclasp the tables of their thoughts

To every ticklish reader! Set them down

For sluttish spoils of opportunity,

And daughters of the game. [Trumpet within]

Damnation to her!

You can read things in her eye, her cheeks, her lips,

even her foot speaks; her lusty spirit is shown