The Complete Memories Series (38 page)

“For the record,” Jen says in a sleepy voice. “If you have them, still, you can wear the pink boxers. They’re kinda sexy.”

I chuckle and bury my face in her hair, holding her even tighter.

“I have them, I’ll bear that in mind,” I tell her softly and listen as her breathing evens out. She’s sleeping in my arms, and I’ve never felt so relaxed.

I roll my eyes at myself. When did I become such a fucking sap? Oh yeah, tha
t’ll be about the time Jennifer-I’ll-Kick-Your-Ass-And-Make-You-Fall-For-Me-Mason reappeared back into my life and became a permanent fixture. Because that’s what happening.

Over the last year, I
’ve slowly starting falling for her, and now I’m not sure I can get back up.

Who would have thought the most attitude filled person I
’ve ever met would be my perfect balance?

~

I wake to the smell of bacon and an empty bed. Jen’s empty bed. A smug, satisfied smile graces my lips.

I slide my boxers and jeans on and poke my head round her bedroom door. She
’s stood in front of the cooker in the kitchen in nothing...

Nothing but my t-shirt.

She bends over to check on something in the oven. My top rides up revealing the bottom of her pert little ass, and I instantly feel myself get hard.

Holy fucking shit with knobs on
.

Silently I creep from her room and into the kitchen. My arms circle her waist from behind
, and her head tilts to the side as I kiss her neck.

“
Good morning,” she chirps happily, cracking an egg in the frying pan.

“
Good mornin’. Are you making me breakfast?”

“
No, I’m clearly making it for the five thousand.” She rolls her eyes. “Technically, I’m making me breakfast. You’re just here.”

“
Oh, so you cook all this daily do you?” I run my fingers along the bottom of my shirt, grazing the tips of her thighs.

“
Don’t be stupid, Samuel.” Jen gives me an exaggerated sigh. “I would not be the fittest thing this side of the Atlantic if I ate this much every morning!”

“
Mm, you’re definitely right about being the hottest thing this side of the Atlantic.” I kiss her neck again and press my hips into her. She stops and turns, pointing the spatula at me.

“
Are you trying to tell me that cooking bacon is sexy?” She raises an eyebrow.

“
No.” I slide my hand between us and trace circles on her bare ass. “But you wearing my shirt is.”

“
I like wearing it.” She turns back round, satisfied. “It smells like you.”

“
Like brilliance and blinding good looks?”

“
No, like arrogance and an ego bigger than the United States of America.”

“
Oi!” I tickle her sides, and she squeals.

“
No, Bing, no, not while I’m cooking!” She tries to wiggle away, but I flick the switch on the cooker to off.

“
You’re not cooking anymore.” I grin wolfishly at her.

She looks up at me through her stupidly thick eyelashes
, and desire shoots straight through me. “No, but it’s still hot as hell in here. It must be me.” She fans her face.

“
You think this is hot?” I ask in a low voice. “You’re in the wrong room, babe.” I start walking backwards, tugging her with me, and her eyes widen.

“
Again?”

I press a soft, probing
kiss to her slightly parted mouth and nibble her plump bottom lip. “You told me never to stop making you feel the way I do, so let’s start as I mean to go on, hmm?”

She inhales
sharply and looks up at me, desire illuminating her eyes into a blinding blue. She grabs the front of my jeans, tugging me back towards her.

“
Again then.”

I’m waddling like a fucking penguin.

I
’m not going to lie, the guy would put a horse to shame. And that whole ‘it’s not what you’ve got it’s what you do with it’ thing? Bollocks. Utter bollocks.

Bing has it, and he knows what to do with it. Joe can keep his Triple O
’s.

The hot water of my shower rushes over me, and I wipe my eyes when I hear someone knocking at my door. I raise my eyes to the ceiling, stop the water, and climb out to answer it. I wrap my towel round me, and peek through the crack in the door.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“
Who do you want it to be?” Bing’s voice answers, sounding low and sensual.

“
If Chad Michael Murray is available, I’ll take him.” I open the door, and let him in.

“
Sorry, he’s not around today. You’ll have to make do with just me.” He follows me in and shuts the door.

“
Damn. Here I thought my luck was in.” I shake my head and head back towards the bathroom.

“
Where are you going?” He grabs my hips and kisses my bare shoulder. “Don’t I even get a hello?”

“
I’m going to finish my shower.” I tap his hands and he lets me go. I disappear into the bathroom and drop the towel. I restart the water and step back under it, loving the feeling of the water pounding against my back.

“
Company?” Hot breath breathes over me and a warm body squeezes in behind me.

“
I don’t remember giving you permission to hijack my shower.” I tilt my head back against his shoulder and the water runs down my neck, my chest, my stomach.

“
I don’t need permission,” he mumbles, his tongue flicking out against my shoulder and tracing the path of the water. He dips his head forward, letting his tongue drag across my skin. He circles it round my nipple, and I wriggle.

“
You bloody well do,” I say, trying to hide my desire for him. He’s not hiding anything. I can feel him pressing between my ass cheeks. “This is my shower-”

“
And it’s my girl inside it.” His hands slide down my sides and back across my stomach. “That means I can join you.”

“
It does?” I breathe.

“
It does,” he echoes, spinning me so my front is pressed against him. His lips come down on mine in a crushing kiss, and I wrap my arms round his neck, holding his hair. Our bodies are slick together thanks to the water, and I find my back against the cold tiles of the shower wall, Bing’s mouth kissing a trail down my neck.

He slides his hands to my thighs and picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He holds my back, and one hand creeps down between my legs, running along me. I groan into his shoulder.

“God, Jen,” he mutters, moving his hand along me. His fingers dip inside me, his thumb pressing across my hardened clit already calling out for him. I gasp, closing my eyes as water hits my face. He closes his mouth over mine, sucking my bottom lip hard. I clench, and he takes his hand away. Seconds later, I feel him push against me. I move my hips up slightly,

“
Wait,” I whisper, holding his head. “Did you just call me ‘your girl’?”

He drops me down onto him, thrusting up into me, and I throw my head back
against the wall at the feeling. I grind my hips against him as he teases me by moving out and in slowly, his breathing heavy in my ear. I dig my fingers into his shoulders as his mouth moves across my shoulders, kissing me in a gentle, tender way that makes me want to cry.

He moves a hand and cups my head, laying my forehead against his. I close my eyes, and he stops moving, buried deep inside me.

“Open your eyes.” His breath fans over my mouth, and I force my eyes open. I look straight into those brown eyes that intoxicate me every time. He smiles. “That’s better. I want to see the look in your beautiful eyes when you lose yourself to me.”

I draw in a long desire filled breath at his words, and he moves again slowly. The long, smooth strokes are a contrast to the times before, the times where passion and need took over. This… This feels like more.

When my world flies apart in his arms, he stares straight into my eyes and kisses me the way I’ve secretly always wanted him to.

~

“Lexy’s back tonight,” I say over my shoulder.

“
Yep, she text me before I came over here.” Bing moves some hair from my neck.

I
’m surprised he’s still here. In fact, I’m surprised he’s stayed around for three days. It’s not his usual M.O. He’s usually gone before you’ve finished screaming his name.

“
Here.” I hand him the mug of tea and lean against the counter. He studies me, his eyes lingering on mine and the uncertainty that I know is shining there. My sarcastic defence mechanisms creep to the front. “Why are you looking at me like I’m a damn algebra puzzle?”

His lips curl
, and I remember how they feel on my skin. I remember what it’s like to be held by him. I remember how he called me his girl. But Bing doesn’t do the whole alpha male caveman thing like Alec does with Lexy.

“
You look like you need working out.”

“
I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult.”

“
I don’t mean in the physical sense, but if that was the case then I can safely say you’ve had plenty of work outs in the last few days.” He smirks. “No. It’s something more. What are you keeping locked up, Jen?”

Those blue eyes that have me so entranced are a whirlpool of doubt, uncertainty, and reserve. I can see it. Her heart is on her sleeve. What she expected and what she wants are at opposite ends of the relationship spectrum.

I won
’t settle for anything less than the far end of it.

“
Nothing.” She looks into her mug. “Why would I have anything to hide from you?”

I
’ve kissed every inch of that silky smooth skin. I’ve touched every millimetre of her body, felt her lips against my skin, against my lips, against my body. I’ve felt her against me. I’ve held her while she slept, watched her, imagined her as mine for good.

I remember every second since she walked back into my life two years ago. I remember it all. I remember her comments, her smile,
and her carefree attitude. I remember her from up close and afar. I remember her. All of her.

The memories mean I know something is up
, and that there’s serious things swirling in her pretty little head.

“
You tell me, beautiful.” I set the mug down on the counter next to me. “Talk to me, Jen.”

“
Why?” She looks up and there’s a mixture of fire and ice in her eyes, both contrasting in a way that makes desire look like a passing glance.

“
Because-”

“
So you can tell your sister not to mention your name around me?” She puts her mug down. “So you can go home and carve another notch or five into your bedpost? Why, Bing? Why do you need to know how I’m feeling?”

I move in front of her
, and she puts her hands against me to move me away. I grip her wrists and move my hands so my fingers link with hers. I lean my hips against her, holding her in place against the side as I hold her hands tightly.

“
Because I care, Jen.” My voice is soft. “I care if you’re happy, sad or angry. I care if you don’t feel good enough, if you don’t feel like you can face the day. It matters to me if you’re having a bad day and need a cuddle because I want to be the one to hold you. I told you I cared, girl, didn’t you believe me, really?”

She shakes her head no, ever so slightly. I breathe out a long, tortured sigh.

“I want you, Jennifer Mason. I must be fucking crazy, but God knows I do. I don’t want you once, or twice, or five times. I don’t want you on my fucking bedpost with a silk scarf. I want you on my heart with a bed of roses. I want to wake up next to you, holding you, loving you. I want to see that smile, hear those dumb ass comments you’re so fond of, and I want to wrestle you into bed each night. I want to worship your body, treat you like the goddess you were born as. I want to make you mine, babe. I want to make you forget the rest of the world. I want to
be
your world, ‘cause I’ll be damned if you aren’t becoming mine.”

My heart stopped beating for the whole two minutes he spoke, and I’m pretty sure it isn’t starting again anytime soon.

For the first time, I really, truly understand why it took Lexy so long to trust Alec. Faced with a playboy with a reputation bigger than his tools, you have to think. You can
’t jump into everything head first. You have to dip a toe in, test the waters, and ease your body in gradually. Ease your heart in.

Alec couldn
’t have broken Lexy’s heart even if he’d wanted to, with the exception of Vi’s secret, but Bing? Samuel ‘Bing’ Edwards has the power to turn my heart into a ball of ash, a shattered ball of nothing. He has the power to turn
me
into nothing.

And the sad thing is, is that I know this. I
’ve known it for months. I knew it even when I told Carl I loved him towards the end. I didn’t, and I don’t think he meant it either.

Forever doesn
’t always mean forever. Dreams aren’t always infinite. Always doesn’t have to mean the universe.

Always, forever, dreams. They
’re spur of the moment words used in spur of the moment sentences. I don’t believe in forever and always. I have more integrity and dignity than to believe that, than to promise myself to someone for that long. If forever will happen then I’ll be happy to be proved wrong, but the person I want to prove me wrong is the person most unlikely to.

The person stood in front of me that just told me he wants me.

He wants me. Not as a quick fuck, a one night stand. He wants more. He wants my heart, my soul, and all I have to give him. He can have it - my heart, my soul - for all I care now. He just can’t have it all.

There
’s too much dirt to dig up, too many piles of shit to shovel before he gets to know he’s everything that matters. His past is too deep, too entwined with girls, sex, and alcohol.

I told Lexy not to worry about the past. I know
now they were empty words. How can you not worry about it when everything you hold dear is on the line? How can you not worry when
you
are on the line?

His body pressed against mine. His fingers laced with mine. His lips against mine.

I feel it all, remember it all. I remember the two words from his lips that made my world turn upside down and tilt off its axis to hit the damn moon.
‘My girl.’
My girl.

His.

I could be. I just have to say yes to the infuriating, complicated moron that just lay his heart on the line, for me.

His brown eyes are full of want, desire, need.

They’re full of promises, but promises are easily broken.

They
’re full of the future, but the future is easily changed.

“
Why?” I ask, my voice stronger than I feel inside. “Why am I so different to the others, Sam? Why me?”

He slides his hands up my arms until they
’re cupping my face the way they did when he burst through my front door and kissed me.

“
Because,” he says. “Because you’re you, Jen. You’re the light in a world forever doomed to darkness.”

I close my eyes, conflict warring inside my crazy damn brain.

Trust him. Don’t. Trust him. Don’t.

The little devil on my left shoulder is hopping with glee. The angel on my right is glaring and shaking her head defiantly. If she wasn
’t holy, I’d bet she’d be cursing the fuck out of the sex god stood in front me.

“
What about the others? The girls that can’t seem to keep their hands off you. The ones that would do anything for you,” I say. “The ones that would give anything for one night with Samuel Edwards.”

“
What about them?” He shrugs carelessly. “I can’t keep my hands off you. I’d do anything for you. I’d give anything for another night with you - for every night with you. Don’t you get it, Jen? I’ve wanted you since I saw you lying on the beach a year and a half ago in Lilac Bay. I’ve wanted you ever since you opened that smart mouth and ripped it out of me.”

I smirk.
“I’m kinda good at that.”

“
I love your filthy mouth.” He dips his head and bites my bottom lip gently, his lips grazing the surface of mine.

“
What if I trust you, Bing? What if I give you everything and it turns to nothing?”

“
It won’t turn to nothing,” he replies. “I won’t always be perfect, Jen, baby, but I’ll try to be the best I can. I want you, girl, just you. No-one else. Trust me. Once. That’s all I’m asking.”

Once. It
’s easier said than done. It’s easier said than thought.

“
I knew the second you chased me with a prawn you’d be a bit of a bad boy.” I whisper.

“
I knew the second you stole my sister’s hermit crab you’d be a handful,” he whispers back, a glimmer in his eye.

“
What if I can’t take it, Bing? What if I can’t deal with the girls that will throw themselves all over you?”

He runs his fingers through my hair, pushing it away from my face. My head tilts back slightly.

“Then maybe, baby...” He moves in close. “Maybe, you can come to me, and I’ll remind you exactly why they’re nothing more than a shadow in the night and you’re the light.”

“
I can’t promise you forever, Bing,” I whisper. “Not until you can prove that everything you just said is it, the real thing.”

He stops and sighs.
“You don’t believe me do you?” He shakes his head and turns away. I grab his arm.

“
Walk, Bing, and that’s it. This is what you can’t do. I need to know that what you’re saying to me is how you actually feel. It’s what you want.”

“
Why?”

“
Because I don’t know
you.
I don’t know as much about you as I want to. Show me you’re being serious, that I’m everything you want, more than sex, then I’m yours. Until then, we’re in uncharted territory.”

His eyes meet mine and in them I see steely resolve, determination.
“You’re gonna wish you never challenged me to that, Jennifer Mason.”

“
No,” I say, stepping against him. He wraps his arms around me. “I’m hoping I’ll be glad I challenged you to it.”

~