The Color of Jade (Jade Series Book 1) (32 page)

“What was all of that Damian? Why does he have pictures of my family? My mom!”

“You were picked from the beginning.”

“When was the beginning, Damian? The beginning of what?”

“Years ago.”

“Get off me!” I cried as I struggled to get free.

“No!”

“Morrison planned all of this?” I started to ask, shocked! “The virus?”

He didn’t answer but he didn’t have to. His silence said everything.

“Why?” I cried. I couldn’t believe it. The allegations were staggering. “My mom died, Damian! So many people died! What is phase II?”

“You don't need to know why! It's not your place to ask questions!”

“How could you!” I struggled with him. He squeezed my wrists tight and held me against the bed as his large frame towered over me. My wrists hurt from the self-inflicted pain of my attempts to get away. “How could you be involved in something like that?”

“It needed to be done!”

“No it didn’t! What else did you do?”

“I let Kane live, Jade, so he would keep you alive. To take care of you, until I could… I didn’t have to.”

“
Do you call this taking care of me?
I want my life back!”

“Stop fighting me! This is your life now!”

“What if I don’t want this life?” I cried. I relented and slowly gave up the struggle, suddenly reminded of Trey. I was mad! I didn’t want to go along with it anymore! I broke down in tears, desperate to be home, for the nightmare to end.

“You’re lucky you aren’t dead right now… Thanks to me… Morrison was coming back for you… You owe me,” he said, the sound of his voice, low, desperate, with an indefatigable, manic craving that sent chills through me.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my words bitter on my tongue. His eyes narrowed as they looked into mine with a carnal expression that sent chills over my body. If there was a shred of humanity left inside him, he didn’t show me. I wished for darkness so I couldn't see the disturbing look on his face.

I turned my head under his stare as he moved closer. Rage radiated from the bitterness he harbored.

His defeat, Kane's triumph.

He turned my head to face him with a determined look, to suffice his need to conquer, to control and suppress someone weaker as he focused his determination on me. I couldn’t respond, my stomach churned with queasiness. I felt sick, nauseous and it was all I could do, not to vomit.

“Someone will pay… you… or Trey,” he asked as if he gave me a choice.

A knot formed in my throat as I knew what would happen next. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath as he forced himself on me.

Suddenly I thought of Gage. Tears streamed back into my hair as I tried to force him out of my mind. But with as much as I tried to forget him, I begged for him to stay with me. To linger in my mind as if he were alive. I longed to be in his arms though I knew I would never feel his touch again.

***

I couldn't get the shower hot enough. I sat huddled as I clutched my knees in hopes that the water that rushed over me would somehow help me feel better. My tears had long stopped and I felt empty as I exhausted the hot water and it turned cold. When it turned as ice, I pulled myself off the shower floor and crawled out. I shivered uncontrollably as goose bumps ravaged my skin. My muscles ached as I slowly wrapped myself in a robe and opened the door.

My room remained empty.

I felt a perverse sense of relief at Damian's new determination to focus on Kane instead of me for a while. What happened to Kane was out of my control.

Damian had left my room without a word after a long agonizing night, aggravated by Morrison as his voice echoed in the halls, raging about their botched raid. He wouldn’t let it go. No one got peace, or sleep, punishment for failing him. Their voices echoed in a muffled sea of angry words as Damian confronted him.

The front door slammed. Men shouted from the courtyard, Damian’s carried above the rest with orders. Truck motors started and a large group of militia with a new burst of rage followed him through the gates.

Then I heard nothing.

For a long time the silence ate at me until I couldn’t stand it any longer. I wandered the halls in a numbing fog after my room became too unbearable. My emotions felt warped, slowed and I felt sick inside.

I became used to the eerie halls and hardly noticed the constant darkness as I found comfort, hidden in their shadows. As I turned the corner, long ribbons of light spilled out into the gloom of the hallway from open doors and I smiled as they welcomed me.

Hushed tones filtered out of a room as I neared the end of the corridor. I peered into it and saw the thin gaunt woman as she stood at the head of the room. She looked at me puzzled.

Three rows of desks lined the room, about ten deep. Each desk filled with a child. With the exception of their different ages ranging from about four to twelve they looked jarringly the same. I thought they were all boys first. Their hair was buzzed short almost bald, with a thin dark shadow of short stubbly hair. I looked closer and noticed some of them were girls, as I stood stunned in the doorway. My heart twisted painfully at the thought of their beautiful hair of different shades, shaved, gone.

A few of their stubbly heads rose as I stood in the doorway. Curiosity replaced the dull grey haziness of their eyes. Some of the kids contained a spark of new hope, but hesitant, possibly due to dashed hopes in the past.

My heart sank, heavy with desperation in my chest to help the kids that didn’t want to be confined any more than I did. I tried to hide the troubled look on my face as the woman stared at me. A questioning glare filled her hollow eyes.

“Either come in or go out Jade. You are interrupting.”

“Can I come in?” I asked softly.

“You can take a seat in the back. Kids, read your books while I talk to Jade.”

She talked to them as if they knew me. Their big eyes wide with curiosity followed me as I walked to the back of the room. She called some kids by name and ordered them to sit on the carpet with their books in a small nook. They all looked frail in their matching grey clothing. The frustration I felt, difficult to mask at the sight of their sad little faces. They stared at the ground as they walked without a word.

“You can help with these kids with their math and reading, they’re younger and behind the others… but first of all, there are rules. There is to be no touching them, no hugging, no talking or asking questions that doesn’t have anything to do with their lessons.”

“Why?”

“It’s part of their training and not
your
job to show them affection. If you want to help, I just told you how you can.”

“Okay.”

I sat amongst them and glanced around the little circle. Three kids in all. I looked back at the woman who paid no attention to me so I whispered.

“Hi, I’m Jade, what are your names?”

One by one, they each whispered their names to me, their voices timid and reserved. Each of them looked malnourished and it saddened me to see the two girls’ shaved heads, same as the boy.

“Maya,” she said, with a timid whisper. The younger of the two girls, her hair light downy fuzz and I resisted the urge to brush my fingers over its softness. She had a turned up nose, full pouty lips and eyes a soft, airy blue.

“I’m Lainie,” the other girl said as she smiled, warming her dark brown eyes, the stubble on her head, almost black. “This is Corby, but he doesn’t talk.”

I glanced at him with his withdrawn, almost absent stare. He looked like the boy in the picture and the boy I shared my sandwich with. I leaned forward towards Corby and the girls did the same. Their curiosities got the better of them in spite of the woman's warning. I had to find out.

“Corby, did I share my sandwich with you the other night?”

His brown puppy-dog eyes brightened and a faint smile grew at the corners of his cheeks. His forehead wrinkled when his eyebrows peaked with interest. He blinked his curly lashes as his thinned crumpled body sat slightly taller with a nodded yes.

“I knew it,” I grinned. “How old are you?”

He brought his splayed fingers up to show me five as he scooted closer to tighten our circle. My heart pounded as my throat tightened.

“Corby… is April your sister?”

Corby’s already widened eyes grew then he blinked rapidly a few times to dry the moisture from them. Barely aware of the girls, I waited for his response.

“Corby, where is April? Do you know? Can you tell me?”

Suddenly, Corby jumped off the floor and ran out the second doorway of the classroom. I jumped shocked and looked at the other children, shocked expressions in their eyes as well. I sprang to my feet, knowing the woman would be somewhere behind me as I chased after Corby. I ran quickly to catch up, hoping to distance myself from the woman. Corby turned into another room. A much smaller room than the last one and I found him standing in a corner.

His hands clung to the side of the crib. I didn’t register what I saw at first but as I stood in the middle of them, I noticed more beds, little beds, cribs with babies. I realized some were crying. With no one around, their needs neglected.

I walked over to where Corby stood. I knelt slowly onto my knees to be at his height, looked to see a little baby, asleep, and wrapped tightly. I touched the light, downy soft fuzz on the baby’s head.

“It’s a boy,” Corby said. I saw his eyes light up, even in the grey and blue hues of the dimly lit room. I looked at him in surprise.

“Corby, you spoke,” I whispered, proud of him as I smiled. “Where’s April, Corby?”

His smile dashed quickly as his shoulders scrunched around his little neck. Then he looked past me and shriveled, suddenly afraid.

I glanced over my shoulder, shocked to see Rubin. His ashy brown hair, slightly tousled and unkempt. Dressed in full uniform, militia black, black boots and an assault rifle strapped to his back. He hadn’t left yet. He stared with sinister, dark eyes. My eyes followed as he walked in and stood at the head of the crib then leaned casually against the wall. The sight of him with the rifle, surrounding all the babies brought chills up my spine.

“Why is April's baby here?”

My heart raced, as I knew it wasn't my place to ask questions. His eyes skimmed over me, the silence in the room thick with tension as I waited for him to answer.

“That's my son.”

“Where's April-”

“Where have you been?” The harsh voice startled me and I whirled around towards the door to see Damian, dressed the same way. His defined jaw line firm with anger that seeped from his icy grey eyes as he shot a glare at Rubin. Apparently unconcerned he responded with the same coolness, and then they both turned to me.

“I… I’ve been helping with the kids.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said, as his eyes narrowed on me as he propped his rifle against the corner and stepped towards me. I cowered lower under his glare as Rubin watched the exchange.

“Where else would I be?”

His eyes shifted as jealously seeped from their darkness as he averted my question. “I’ve looked everywhere for you.”

“I didn’t know you were here still.”

“I came back for… something-”

“Oh, there you are Corby!” The thin gaunt woman replied as she ran into the room interrupting Damian’s rant. I looked past him to see her stopped at the doorway as she scolded me with her eyes. “He’s always running off, Jade. You will have to keep better hands on him next time if you want to help with the reading. Come on Corby, let’s go back to class.”

She moved past him as Rubin casually walked out of the room, then she grabbed Corby swiftly by the arm and pulled him towards the door. Under her grasp, Corby twisted to look back at me. My eyes met his oppressed gaze and then out of the sadness, I saw him give me a quick fleeting smile.

“Jade… come here.”

Fear encompassed me at the sound of Morrison’s voice as my heart suddenly quickened with a start. My feet moved slowly through the partially opened door. The air grew thick. Suffocation strangled my lungs as I stood in Morrison’s office and waited for what would come next.

“Sit down.”

“Okay.”

My legs, heavy as cement moved me closer to the dreaded chair in front of his desk and a heavy sigh escaped me as I lowered myself onto it.

“The information you’ve given us about Richard Kennington has helped.”

“It has?” I said a little puzzled. “You found my dad?”

“No, we haven’t found Kennington yet,” Morrison glared at me as he took a puff off his cigarette. The smell of tobacco smoke snaked through the air. “You can refer to him as Kennington. We’ve managed to intercept two of Kane’s trips, we’re close. We’ve found a store house and confiscated a large amount of weapons Kane brought across the border.”

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. Mexico hadn't entered my mind as a place Kane went for weapons. Suddenly, I felt sick as I thought of Hector, Raύl, and their families and wondered if they had anything to do with helping Kane, with other than the farm.

“Bring him in Jackson.”

Morrison directed a cold, calloused stare to someone behind me. Weighted footsteps echoed against the hardwood floor as they stepped into the room. Then a second set shuffled with every step, iron shackles clanked together against the hard wood floor. I couldn’t turn away as my eyes drifted down to my side at the black boots. Rusted grey chains wrapped around dirt-stained jeans, puckered at the ankles. My eyes traveled up to a western style, chambray button down shirt stained dark with dried blood.

My breath stilled in my chest as my heart sank. My eyes met Hector and instantly filled with tears. His face, bruised and beaten with an eyelid nearly swollen shut. I barely saw the deep coffee color of his eyes. His once black hair now choked out by an invading dusty silvery grey, more so than what I remembered. My mouth dropped open and I gasped, as he stood restrained in front of me.

“No!” I screamed at Morrison. Unable to control my rapid breaths, my chest caved with each one as panic set in and I grew desperate.

“He and a group of five other men were caught just north of the border making an exchange. I can’t have this kind of trafficking going on, but I would have to say, I’m very happy with my new additions to my own arsenal thanks to them.”

“What are you going to do with him?” My words caused my heart to freeze in my chest. I dreaded his answer. My breaths increased. Dizziness encircled me. The room swayed as my mind became distraught with fear.

“He’s going down to the courtyard soon enough, but I wanted him to be here while I thanked you for such valuable information. We wouldn’t have him in custody if it weren’t for you.”

I swallowed hard to force back the urge to vomit. I looked blindly at the floor as I gasped. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Hector or Morrison. The results from what I’d done, disastrous for Kane and now Hector. Unable to restrain them any longer, tears flooded over and spilled onto my hands that gripped at the bottom of my shirt.

“Take him out to the court yard. I think Jade has been well rewarded for her information.”

Jackson jerked him towards the doorway. As he did, Hector suddenly fell to his knees in front of me and grabbed my hands with his, cuffed at the wrist. My body heaved as I sobbed without restraint. Jackson bashed him at the side of the head. “Stop!  Don’t hit him,” I cried as I glared at Jackson. His evil smirk surfaced as he grabbed at his arm just as Morrison raised a hand to allow him to talk to me.

“I know it’s not worth much, Hector, but… I am so sorry.”

“Miss Jade, don’t apologize, you have done nothing beautiful girl,” he said, as he wiped at my tears with cuffed hands.

“I haven’t done enough and too much at the same time.”

“No, this is not you. This is
them
!” He leaned close and whispered as he spoke. The intensity of his dark brown eyes caused an ache in my heart as my tears continued to spill onto his shirt. “Be strong girl, you will need to be.”

“I am so scared, Hector… I have nothing left!”

“Yes you do!  It’s okay to be scared, but remember, it’s only a reaction… don’t let it hinder you. You’ll do amazing things if you control it.” Hector’s eyes burned fierce with intensity. He wouldn’t allow me to think otherwise.

“What can I possibly do, that won’t make everything worse.”

“When the time comes, you will know. You are stronger than you realize. Don’t ever forget it, little Jadeite!”

The sound of Hector’s voice calling me by my nickname he gave me when I was all of three ripped painfully at my heart. Jackson pulled him to his feet and shoved him out the door. I stood quickly and ran after him. “Hector!” Guards restrained me and placed me back in the chair.

“What are you going to do to him?” I asked Morrison as I whirled around angry.

“You will know soon enough.”

“Where’s Kane!” I demanded.

“I can’t bring him in yet. He hasn’t led me to the others he’s working with, to Kennington. But I don’t think it will be much longer. That’s a bonus of having you here. You’re keeping him angry. He’s slipping up… it’s only a matter of time now and I’ll be there when he falls.”

“Can I go now?”

“Not yet… When is your seventeenth birthday?”

“In April.”

I answered, fearful of why he wanted to know, I wrung my hands nervously then wiped angrily at the tears on my cheeks as he shifted back in his chair. His eyes stared intently at me with contemplation while he took another drag off his cigarette and blew it my direction. Unable to hold his glare, I glanced towards the window, as his intimidation crawled under my skin.

“Seven months from now. I guess that’ll do.”

“What?”

“You and Damian will be married on your seventeenth birthday… You’ll get his mark then.” Morrison’s stiff calloused demeanor changed as he placed his cigarette in the ashtray, his head tilted slightly to the side as he looked at me. I shifted, uncomfortable in my seat as he stood. He walked towards me, each step echoed against the hardwood floor.

“You’re quite the fighter, aren’t you, Jade?”

He didn’t try to hide the sudden intrigue in his eyes as he grasped my chin in his hands and forced me to look at him.

“Your fierce innocence interests me.” His brows furrowed as he studied me. My heart hammered wildly in my chest as the knot in my throat threatened to cut off my air. “You remind me of…” His voice trailed off. “Someone.”

“My mother?”

“Yes… she was beautiful, you look like her.”

Warm tears clouded my vision, I blinked as one rolled down my cheek.

He stood there pensive, deep in thought as if considering something, then, as if never present, he replaced the look by his familiar steely glare.

“You can go now,” Morrison said, as he returned to the plush leather office chair behind the desk. He looked down at his papers with an indifferent affect. He didn’t give me a second thought.

I stood quickly and walked out of the office. I tried to keep the shock off my face as I passed Rubin in the hallway. His lecherous gawk caused me to shift uneasily beneath my skin. Each breath I took forced, slow and measured as I ignored his glare. I barely made it to my room before I burst into sobs, leaned against the back of the door and slid down to the floor.
Marry Damian
!

A disturbance outside drew my attention from the horror spent in Morrison’s office. Absently, I wiped my tears and walked through the doorway to my balcony then peered over the side through the chain link fence. Fear surged through me as I realized the damage I caused. I became distraught at the sight of Hector blindfolded and forced to his knees.

“Hector!” I cried and grasped onto the fence. The wire cut into my fingers as I squeezed tightly. Men lined up, guns drawn as Hector awaited his inevitable fate. I screamed at the top of my lungs, causing my throat burn. “No! Please! Hector!”

“Ser fuerte poco jadeite!” Hector’s voice boomed through the courtyard just before deafening rounds of ammunition fired from their guns and drowned out my screams. Unable to look away, I watched helplessly as Hector’s body jerked involuntarily from the piercing bullets and fell to the ground. His words rang in my ears, “be strong little jadeite.”

The rough wall cut painfully into my arm as I slid down the concrete to the floor and sobbed. Thick heavy tears stained my cheeks and dripped onto the ground. I doubled over. The nasty burn of bile forced its way up into my mouth as I tried to force the image out of my mind.

***

Prickly goose bumps traveled up my arm as Damian grazed his fingers up to my shoulder. I almost felt his pervasive smile as I lay on the bed and faced the wall. With my back to him, he curled himself around me. I held my breath. With his face in my hair, he breathed in deeply. I felt the hotness of his breath on the back of my neck as he exhaled.

I ignored Damian’s advances as I allowed my senses to dull. His unwanted presence and the fear of his next move seemed minor compared to what I witnessed yesterday. With my mind altered, pain and numbness shifted back and forth through my heart and caused it to ache terribly.

Hector.

Tears welled suddenly then replaced by the dry tackiness they left behind. I closed my puffy red eyes and pretended to be asleep as I tried to imagine myself elsewhere. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t, everywhere my mind took me, it seemed to return to thoughts of Hector.

“Do you mind? He may not have meant anything to you, but he did to me. Can you leave me alone for a while, please?”

Damian’s hand slipped under the sleeve of my shirt and rubbed my chest where the mark was. It wasn’t tender anymore but I knew his hand was right over it.

“I’ll leave you to yourself for a while but don’t forget who you belong to, Jade.”

“How can I forget? Morrison, I belong to Morrison.”

“You belong to me! Not Morrison!” Instant anger resonated through his gruff voice and I knew I threw a low blow. He grabbed my shoulders and forced me onto my back to look up at him.

“Damian, this mark is Morrison’s mark, not yours.”

“That is only part of it, Jade. You will get the rest of it after we’re married. I know Morrison talked to you, your birthday, April seventeenth.”

“How do you know my birthday?”

“I know everything about you, Jade.
And you will wear my mark soon enough.
It will go right under this one.”

“Yeah Damian, key word.
Under, underneath his.
”

***

A week had passed since Morrison ordered Hector’s death and I still couldn't pull myself out of my grief. Death by firing squad was the maximum punishment for contributing to the rebellion, his way to justify cold-blooded murder and his own hostility and treasonous acts.

I sat on the patio and tried to make sense of everything. The cool breeze on my face seemed to clear the fog from my mind. I rubbed at my tired eyes. The weather had changed and I welcomed it. I desperately needed a change and the onset of autumn seemed to suffice for now. Instead of the usual green, the leaves along the mountainside had turned vibrant colors of gold, orange, and red. I pulled the blanket closer around my neck as goose bumps moved up my arms and quickly made their way up my neck. I wasn’t sure if they were from the chill in the air or the gunshots that sounded out in the distance.

Though the gunshots weren’t constant, they became more frequent and sounded closer every day, but despite of their close proximity, became only noise in the back of my mind that I was barely aware of. I wouldn’t allow myself to wish too much for Kane to breach the perimeter. After what I did to Hector, I didn’t deserve a rescue but at the same time, I still hoped someday I would be.

I startled slightly, the patio doors creaked, as they slowly swung open. I became used to Damian's stiff hardened glare and felt his present before I turned to see him in the doorway. My eyes followed his large, overpowering frame as he moved towards me with an air of confidence that disappeared only in Morrison's presence.

“Enough of this, Jade. Stop your sulking.”

I tried to hold his gaze but the callousness in them caused me squirm inside and I finally looked away.

I tried to do what Damian demanded just to make it through another day without the presence of his brutal side. After a while, I predicted his response, his behavior and his routines. My moves became more deliberate and planned out. Even my thoughts became mechanical, which made sense, since Damian only saw me as a possession, a piece of property, something to be controlled.

“Okay, I'm sorry,” I said, as I forced a smile.

“It's getting old.”

His grey icy eyes, unreadable, hiding what went on in his mind. They possessed coldness, hardened by pain, maybe something from his past that he refused to acknowledge, forcing it back, hidden from everyone. Whatever the reason, it poisoned his soul and I felt a twinge of sadness for him.