The Color of Jade (Jade Series Book 1) (30 page)

“Gage is dead!”

“No!” I frantically searched his eyes for the truth only to see steely resolve. “He’s not dead!”

“The sooner you accept this… The better it will be for you.”

“You are lying!” I lunged forward and shoved him. He staggered back. Anger and fear raged through me. My heart plummeted as if he threw me off a cliff and shattered my insides into a million pieces. My mind whirled. I felt dizzy, tumbling through air with no one to catch me as uncontrollable tears sprang to my eyes. I continued to swing at him. “No!”

I hit him repeatedly, hoping the pain in my fists would somehow mask the pain in my heart. He stood there unmoved by my physical assaults, indifferent to my panicked sobbing for Gage. My heart felt crushed inside, stomped on, ripped in two as my world continued to spin wildly out of control. I wanted Gage, I needed him, and the thought of never seeing him again was too much, causing an unbearable, physical pain in my chest.

“He's dead, Jade!” Damian grabbed my arms and overpowered me with restraint, squeezing me to his chest. I pushed against him to no avail and fought to get away.

“Let go of me!” I cried. The saltiness of my tears dissolved into my lips.

“No,” Damian said, with an eerie calmness in his voice as he forced me to look at him. I searched his eyes for a hint promise that he might be lying but saw a pained somberness as if he somehow felt bad about the pain he just caused me. “I'm sorry, Jade... He's dead.”

“You’re sorry! You're not sorry! What are you talking about?” I pushed against him and he released me as he shoved me onto the bed. I scrambled to the head of the bed and grabbed a pillow, my only means of comfort. I needed to hide, to go to that place in my mind where it was just Gage and me. I tensed and braced for Damian's next move as I hid my face in the pillow. The door slammed and I jumped. I looked up briefly, only to see I was alone as another wave of tears hit me again, and then I buried myself in the pillow and with wailing sobs, cried myself to sleep.

***

I gasped as I woke and sat suddenly upright with a start. My heart beat with sheer terror as I looked around and prayed I was lost somewhere in a bad dream. I let out a sigh at the realization that my nightmare was real. I rubbed my face, tight from dried tears while another wave hit me and I felt moisture well in my eyes as thoughts of Gage entered my mind. I closed my eyes to picture his face, and then interrupted with a start as Damian burst through the door.

“Please… Damian, tell me he's alive,” I pleaded, through puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

He ignored my request as he stormed across the room to me, grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bed. “Morrison might have told you I will give you time. But not much. You will like me! And you will not look at me like I am a monster anymore!”

“You haven’t given me anything to like, Damian. You are evil!”

“I went back and shot him that night. Gage is cold and rotting in the ground. They will never find his body and he will
never
come for you! I made sure of it. We can do this the hard way if you want! But either way, you
are
with me!”

Damian left as quickly as he came and stormed out of the room sucking all the air out with him. I gasped desperately to breathe as my throat constricted. The tears fell and I couldn’t hold them back. I didn't want to, Gage deserved every tear. I let my body collapse into the black marbled carpet as my body caved under the heaves of my sobs.

My cries slowed. As I wiped my tears, I sat up, got to my feet and stood in the middle of the room that reminded me of a cheap hotel that lacked personality and life. I walked into the bathroom and glanced in horror at my reflection. My disheveled hair lacked its usual golden shine. My face cut and bruised with a new red mark just under my left eye was blotchy and swollen from tears, leaving my bloodshot eyes dull and lacking the life, I desperately needed back.

I pulled at the neck of my shirt to reveal my left shoulder. Just under it, above my heart was the mark Damian gave me. The red raw skin was tender to touch as I ran my fingers over the two-inch symbol. The same symbol on the black flag that hung in Morrison’s office, also on the wall of my room and permanently tattooed on the left side of my chest as another reminder that he would dictate every move I made. It revealed nothing I belonged to Damian. This told me I belonged to Morrison. Tears sprang to my eyes as I stared at its ugliness.

“Ugghh!” I screamed, and cried out as I swiped at the personal hygiene bottles along the plain white countertop and sent them flying across the bathroom crashing onto the floor. I dropped my head against the counter. Every sob repeated by the echo against the bathroom walls.

I looked up. How was this girl in the mirror me? Why was I here? I pulled myself from the counter and walked out of the bathroom into the room and over to the curtains. I pulled them open to French doors that led outside.

I wiped my eyes and hesitated for a minute as I reached for the doorknob. I pushed the door open and took a step outside onto the somewhat opened patio. A warm breeze blew through the curtains that flowed through to air out my warm stuffy room. I sighed and looked out at the blue sky.  I welcomed the sultry air as I realized this was the first time I’d been outside in over a month.

I walked to the edge of the patio to the partition wall that came half way up and hit me about my waist. From there, a chain link fence stretched about eight feet with thick curls of barbed wire along the top. I clasped my fingers through the metal links and looked out. I felt caged, imprisoned in a tower with no means of escape and even more disheartening to see beyond my confinement.

To say the compound was huge, was an understatement, it was a mini city. Militia and a few women walked about, going about their business. I knew from the inside that the building I was in was big, but to see it from the outside, it was larger than I thought.

My eyes followed the driveway towards the opposite end of the compound that ended at a large gate. The compound, double fenced all around. Militia stood in between on guard with two guard towers at both corners.

Completely discouraged I turned away, leaned against the wall and sighed. I would never escape this place, and from what I could see, no way Kane could get inside. There were too many obstacles, too may guards.

I spotted a cushioned patio couch and walked over to it. I closed my eyes as I sank into the cushions and tried to imagine myself in the mountains with Gage. Then suddenly, the agonizing realization that he was dead painfully entered my mind as I brushed a tear away. My body stiffened and a clenching pain constricted my heart.

The door opened. I did not want to deal with Damian! I wasn’t ready. I would never be ready. The muffled footsteps on the carpet neared the patio and stopped at the edge of the doorway as I held my breath.

“Jade.”

Dread turned to shock as I gasped. I turned my head to see him as he stood framed by the open doorway surrounded by two guards, his wrists bound by handcuffs. I stifled my tears and my throat tightened. My chin trembled as I barely managed to say his name.

“Trey!”

I sat in shock, unsure if I really saw him when the guard I recognized as Rubin mumbled something I couldn't hear. Trey turned his wrists towards him and he removed the cuffs.

“Morrison said you can have ten minutes as you asked,” Rubin said as he looked at me. His stoic face, uncaring and unconcerned, just like the rest of them.

“Okay,” I managed then he walked out of the room with the other guard in step behind him.

Trey walked over and stood before me, long faced with a pained expression. I gave him a weak smile, trying to cover up my sadness as I wiped my cheeks dry.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I looked at my hands. The last time I saw Trey, the look he gave me, I felt the disappointment. I couldn’t look at him. “Are you mad at me?”

“Don’t…” He said, and then lifted my chin with his hand, forcing me to look at him. His green eyes heavy with harbored turmoil. He shook his head then sat next to me and curled an arm around my shoulder. I let out a ragged sigh and felt my body relax. “Of course not… don’t blame yourself. You did what you felt like you had to do. It’s okay… it doesn’t matter what happens, it’s okay.”

I looked at his hands. His skin, fractured from old jagged cuts scattered across his knuckles scabbed over as they healed. There was a fresh gash over his first knuckle, but his fingernails were intact.

He wore jailhouse clothes, clean and fresh. He’d been allowed to shower. The blood from earlier, washed clean but he had multiple bruises on his face in various stages of healing that told me his abuse was ongoing. His left eye was purple and swollen, fresh from today, as well as the cut on his lip. I went to touch his eye but he shrugged me off, and then asked. “That looks new… What happened to your cheek?”

“Damian hit me,” I paused as my breath caught and tears welled in my eyes. I blinked them back. “He said Gage is dead.”

“Gage is tough,” Trey said, as he tried to sound hopeful but the somberness in his eyes convinced me of his uncertainty.

“You didn't see what they did to him,” I said, shuttering at the memory of that dark night that I stood drenched in the rain, watching helplessly. Of Gage beaten, bloody and unable to move, lost under the raging shadows of the inferno that engulfed my home.

“It'll take more than a beating to bring him down.”

“Damian said he went back and killed him.” My chin quivered and a chill ran through me at the sounds of my own words. I turned my head away from him and looked through the fence at the surrounding compound. The realization that Gage was gone welled with intense pressure in my chest. I felt at any moment, my heart would burst which became more real as my brother pulled me closer to try to comfort me. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat as it constricted tightly then I buried my face in his shirt as uncontrollable sobs racked my body.

“I'm sorry, Jade…”

His voice trailed off with a deep sigh, he knew there would be nothing he could say. I couldn't respond as I desperately wished I could be with Gage. I wanted to be dead, cold, to feel nothing, to be free of the pain of losing him. I didn't want to feel how much it hurt to be alive.

A knock at the door snapped me from my somnolence as I heard Rubin yell into the room. “Five minutes,” his voice called out, then a slam of the door.

“I don't have much time, Jade,” he said, almost sounding guilty that he had to go, wishing he could stay.

“I know…” my voice wavered and I suddenly felt exhausted as I reluctantly accepted my reality.  “Morrison said I
belong
to Damian.”

“I’ve been told... Listen to me... Don’t fight them.”

“I can’t just give in to what Damian wants!”

“Neither of us are in a very good position to do anything about it. They will win. If you fight them too much or give them too much trouble, Morrison will just make life hard for you! Harder than it is now.”

“What do you expect me to do, just go along with it? I can’t!”

“You have to!  I’m not saying just give up and let Damian do whatever he wants. I’m saying you need to play this out. He needs to think he is getting somewhere with you, then maybe he won’t be so aggressive.”

“I can only go along with it so far. What do I do when he starts to expect more?” I looked up to face him. His eyes searched mine as I pleaded with him to understand that I couldn't give myself to Damian. I couldn't before and I wouldn't now, not after what he did to Gage, not ever.

“Just trust me. I just think you will be better off if you don’t fight with him. You need to try to control the situation, stall as long as you can, buy some time. If you make him mad, you won’t have a choice, you will end up with more of these and much worse,” Trey said, as he touched my bruised cheek softly and looked at me through defeated eyes.

“I don’t have a choice now… I feel like I’m in a bird cage.”

“At least you won’t have to go through what they did in the jail. You’re going to have to play it off until-”

“Until what, Kane comes?  He’s not coming! How could he possibly know where they took us… And now, they’ve moved me! Even if he did know, he will never get past the Militia. They are everywhere!”

“I know. I saw them when we drove through. Kane will figure it out, but it will be easier to get you out of here than the jail... you need to think through things while you are in here. Be smart about what you say and do. He will put doubt in your mind. They are going to try to brainwash you and will watch you closely.  Morrison is very dangerous and Damian is plain crazy so be careful.”

“Are they keeping you here now?”

“No, they are taking me back to the jail soon.”

I helplessly looked at Trey's battered face as he gave me a weak smile. I tried to hide the fear I felt, for me, for Trey, as I stifled my tears.

“I know... I’m scared too… You can make it through this.”

The door burst open with a bang and I knew our time was done. Rubin and the guard came for Trey. He stood as they approached and held out his wrists without strife then they cuffed him. Unlike before when he walked in on his own, I watched helplessly as they shackled his ankles. The clank of the chains faded as they took Trey out of the room and down the hallway only to leave me alone once more. I walked to the chain link fence and watched as they loaded him into the back of a van and took him away.

***

“Dinner is in an hour so clean up. You have clothes in the closet,” Damian said, as he walked through the door.

“I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t think you understand,” Damian said, he walked to the bed and leaned over me as I pressed myself into the mattress. “You don’t have a choice. We eat together. You are coming. Unless…” His hand touched my cheek where he hit me earlier. “You want to stay here with me.”

“I’ll go eat.”

“Don’t make it hard on yourself, Jade,” he sneered as he hovered over me.

“Morrison said you would give me time,” I pleaded. I felt smothered.

“Not much,” he paused briefly as he studied me. His eyes surfed over me adding to my unease. “Don’t wait too long. The sooner you accept this, the better it will be for you, for everyone.”

I screamed inside as Damian walked out. I felt cemented in place and struggled to move through the motions as I walked into the bathroom and adjusted the water.

I undressed. My worn grayed pajamas fell around my feet as I lifted my tee shirt over my head. Steam filled the room and clouded the mirror as I stepped into the warm drizzle of water and let it cascade down over my face. The soft spray brought chills as if my skin expected the harsh razor sharp spray of the fire hose and goose bumps prickled my skin. My heart beat faster, my insides next to panicked. My stomach churned painfully like writhing worms and threatened to make me sick except there was nothing in my stomach.

With my arms crossed, I gripped my elbows. I leaned against the tile shower wall and I squeezed my eyes tight. My body heaved with sobs as I slid down and crouched onto the floor. Tears ran down my cheeks as the spray from the shower drenched my face and drowned the sounds of my cries.

“Gage…” I said, barely above a whisper.

“You’ve got five minutes.” Damian’s brash voice cut through the shower, startling me and I jumped. I held my breath and turned my tears inward, forcing myself to grow numb. My body shook as I tried to suffocate my cries. Through pursed lips, I slowly released my breath and barely managed an, “okay.”

***

I walked with Damian to the edge of the stairs in a numbing haze. With reddened eyes, the tears continued in silence as we turned down another long sterile looking hallway. Suddenly, Damian grabbed me and slammed me with a jolt against the wall. I looked up at him as he easily overpowered me.

“Those tears will stop…
Right now! Not one more!  I don’t want to see you cry for him again…”

I wanted to cry all of them but I forced them inward and wiped them away, the pain welling in my chest into a throbbing ache. He continued to pull me down the hall.

We walked into a large dining room. The black flag starkly contrasted against the chalky white walls. My eyes burned as I stared at the gold and blood red stitching that seemed to pulse with energy. I wanted to rip it apart. The first thing I did after Trey left was try to remove it from the wall in my room, but Morrison had it bolted to the wall.

I rubbed my eyes. A sudden pain shot through my cheek, a reminder of Damian’s previous assault against me. Morrison sat at the head of the table, Rubin and Jackson at either side of him. He stood out of his chair and walked over to me, grabbing my jaw with his hand. His grip pinched at my skin. His face, void of any expression as he inspected me.

“What happened?”

“I’m sorry, I… I provoked him. It was my fault.” I almost couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth as I tried to play the part.

“I suggest you learn your place,” Morrison scolded me.

“I’m trying.”

I didn’t say another word through dinner as I pushed my food around on my plate. Two older women, very plain and homely sat across the table from me. The dullness in their eyes masked their actual color, about as sad as their overly modest clothing. They didn’t speak and I noticed they rarely looked up, I followed suit.

Next to the slightly plump woman, the thin one appeared feeble and weak. She wrung her hands nervously then suddenly stopped with a glare from Morrison as him and Jackson talked.

“I’ve got everything together. I’ll leave first thing, tomorrow,” Jackson said.

“I need Kane Kennington alive.”

The sound of my brothers name sent a surge of electricity through my veins. My fingers tingled as I gripped the napkin and tried to regulate my breaths. I looked up and caught Rubin’s eye. I quickly looked away but his unwelcomed glare left me crawling under my skin. I glanced at Damian to see if he noticed. Of course, he did and I knew I would pay later. His stern eyes watched me like a hawk while his out of control jealousy begged to be unrestrained. I fixed my eyes on my food as my stomach wrenched from nerves and stole my appetite.

After dinner, the women cleared the table and disappeared into the kitchen as the men stood to leave. Damian gripped my shoulder. I felt blood pooling under his fingertips and I winced under the pressure. “Finish your plate… then return to your room.”

“Okay,” I said. He released me, then he and the men left and headed down the hall.

I sat in the buzzing silence for endless minutes, staring at my food. The thought of eating made me nauseous. I half expected Damian to come back and kept looking back over my shoulder, surprised he left me alone. But then, I really wasn’t alone as guards stood at the ends of each hall.

I picked up my fork and took a bite of cold potatoes. I was just about to take another when the plump woman came, pulled the fork from my fingers and took my plate away. She left as quietly as she came but with a scowl that could scorch the devil and I shriveled in my chair.

I stood and left. It seemed strange, held hostage but free to walk the halls as I wanted, alone and unrestrained. I walked past Morrison’s den on my way back and heard voices that carried out into the hall. I stopped just outside the doorway as I eavesdropped on Morrison’s conversation. I recognized the voices of all but one man and I wondered who he was because for once, Morrison wasn’t asking the questions, he was.

“I thought the vice was taken care of?” The tone in the man’s voice leaked with disappointment.

“I never said he was taken care of. I said we would take care of him, and we will,” Morrison replied.

“I practically gave him to you. 
Gift wrapped, packaged and sent your way!
Your job was simple, neutralize him, bring me Langdon and prepare for phase two if necessary.”

“I told you, we’ll take care of him and you’ll get your professor.”

“You’re going to have to find him first.”

“We will, and like I said. We’ll take care of everything.”

“Like you did the chief?”

“Hey! We took care of the chief! It’s done… isn’t it? You said it didn’t matter how it was done.”

“It doesn’t… but you’re getting sloppy with your work. He almost made it into hiding… get this rebellion under control and finish your assignment.”