Authors: Don Lee
In the dusk, I looked at the crocuses and daffodils that had bloomed. Glancing up at the pink flowers of the dogwood, I saw the lights on the second floor, in the master bedroom, turning on. Joshua noticed them, too.
You know, you could invite her down, I told him. She doesnt have to stay in her room all the time. We have a lot of foodmore than enough.
She doesnt want to, he said. Ive asked her before, but shes shy.
When there arent so many people around, then. She must get bored up there all by herself.
The other week, after coming home from work, I had slipped into Nokleks room. On the second-floor landing, I had thought I smelled something burning. I knocked on her door, waited, then entered the master bedroom. She had a hot plate on the bureau. I put my hand over the coil element, and it was still warm. She must have just cooked something. Beside the bureau was a small refrigerator, and in the bathtub there was a dish rack, a freshly washed pot and bowl drying in it. A braided nylon rope stretched across the bathroom, laundry clipped to it. She had few possessions overallthe Buddhas, the framed photographs. On the neatly made bed was the pig pińata that used to hang in Joshuas attic, which he had named Claudette, in homage to Claude, the pig pińata that Pynchon had owned when he lived in Manhattan Beach, where he wrote Gravitys Rainbow. Otherwise, there was not much personal in the bedroom, just a stack of celebrity gossip magazines.
Ive been thinking Joshua said. He picked up a slab of kalbi from the grill with my tongs and bit into it. Ow, thats hotof marrying Noklek.
What?
So she can get a green card. Jimmy told me shes worried about getting booted out of the country. Her visas expired. Ive been talking to Grace about it, he saidGrace, the immigration attorney.
Joshua, I said, that is utterly fucking nuts. Did she offer you money? Or something else.
I offered.
In exchange for what?
Nothing, Joshua said. My intentions are entirely honorable. I havent laid a finger on her. I just feel sorry for the kid. I mean, yeah, there are things to be concerned about, like being financially responsible for her for ten years, like her maybe trying to take me for a ride down the road with a divorce and busting my balls over a settlement. But Id have her sign a prenup.
You realize what the penalty is if you get caught?
Up to five years in prison and two hundred fifty thou.
I had not actually known the penalty. It was more severe than I had assumed. The INS is always trying to crack down on these sorts of scams, I said. You cant fuck around with shit like this.
Thats why we wouldnt do it right away. Wed wait at least six months. Wed be careful. Even though shes illegal now, if everything went through, shed be entitled to residency.
She says she wants to do this?
Weve talked about it. She hasnt said yes for sure yet, and neither have I. Im gathering facts. Grace told us we need to build evidence of a relationship historyyou know, ticket stubs to events and vacation photos and birthday cards, shit like that. Im thinking we could go to the Virgin Islands togetherto St. John this time.
What are you looking to get out of this? Youd be risking a hell of a lot just to get laid regularly.
I like having her around, Joshua said. He pinched the kalbi by the ribs and, with his teeth, tore meat off and gnawed on it. You know a couple of weeks ago she cleaned the entire house top to bottom? She even mowed the lawn.
That was for Songkran, I told him.
Songkran?
New Years in Thailand. Its a ritual, to clean your house. You dont know anything about her, do you? Shes not as tough as you think. You know her entire family is dead?
Jimmy told me.
Tell me the circumstances, I said, as if I were testing him.
Ferry accident, he said. Her parents and little sister were on holiday, and Noklek got left behind with a neighbor because she was sick. The ferryboat captain tried to cut across the path of a chemical tanker, and the ferry got cleaved in half. Eighty-seven people died.
I thought of the black-and-white head shots, the paper burning and curling in layers of ash.
Shes an orphan, just like me, Joshua said. Shes all alone in the world. Youll laugh at this, but maybe, I mean, who knows, maybe well even fall in love and itll become a real marriage.
Dont do this, I said. Dont fuck with her. Shes a teenager. Shes practically a child. You know you dont want a real marriage. You want a maid, a concubine. Thats the only reason youre considering this.
No, youre wrong, Joshua said. You know I consider us a familyyou, me, Jessica. I would love it if we could live here together forever. Love it. But I know someday you guys will meet someone, maybe even get together with each other finally, and youll want to move out and have a place of your own. Youll be tired of having old Joshua around all the time. Then where will I be? I mean, I know Im no prize. I know Im a pain in the ass. Im demanding and strident, Im lazy and messy and difficult. Who would have me? No woman in her right mind, thats for sure. I dont want to get married, not for real. I dont want to have kids. All I want to do is write.
You might change your mind someday, I said. You might fall in love and want a family. Theres always the possibility of that happening.
No.
I saw you dancing with that little girl at Leon and Cindys wedding. You were enrapt.
I never told you. I had a vasectomy.
You did?
Years ago, Joshua said.
Theres always adoption, I said, and saw him flinch in distaste. Or you might meet a woman with kids.
Im not going to change, Joshua said. People dont change. If theres one thing Ive learned by now, its that. Ill never fall in love, because I could never trust that I wouldnt be abandoned. The only problem, the only noisome little contradictory wrinkle, is I dont want to be alone. The truth is, the idea of dying alone terrifies me. Remember those journal excerpts by your hero, Cheever, about ending up cold, alone, dishonored, and forgotten? An old man approaching death without a companion? As much as I try to thwart it, I know thats my fate. Thats why Id never arrange for a memorial service. Id be afraid no one would show up.
You wont die alone, Joshua. Ill always be around. So will Jessica.
You say that now, but you cant guarantee it. You guys have been the only true friends Ive ever had, but sometimes Ive felt I had to buy your friendship.
What are you talking about?
If I didnt have this house, would youor anyone else here, whats left of the 3ACbe hanging out with me at all?
Thats an absurd thing to ask.
Is it? I dont know, Joshua said. He finished the rest of the kalbi and chucked the bones over the crocuses into the shrubs. Sometimes Im just barely hanging on, you know. Just barely hanging on. And Im beginning to feel theres only so much more I can do to keep us together.
The second floor of the City Hall Annex housed several municipal offices that encircled Gallery 57, including the Animal Commission, which issued dog licenses. On Monday, one of the clerks who worked at the commission, Maryanne Costa, called Councilman Vivaldo Barboza, a fellow Portuguese American parishioner at St. Anthonys Church, and complained about the sculptures to him. The mannequins were still sequestered behind the temporary partitions and draped by sheets, but Mrs. Costa, curious about the exhibition, had availed herself of a sneak peek, and had been appalled.
Vivaldo Barboza had been on the City Council for four years. Campaigning on an unimaginative platform of quality-of-life (noise abatement) and traffic (on-street parking) issues, he had been, to everyones surprise, elected to two terms, and was now the chair of the Public Safety Committee. He went to examine the sculptures in Gallery 57 himself and, equally horrified and disgusted, took matters into his own hands.
He bore down on the erections with his full weight and broke them off the Bruce Lee and Charlie Chan mannequins. He tried to pry the vulva off Suzie Wong as well, but couldnt gain purchase on it enough to tear it off, so he simply yanked closed the horizontal zipper, the one-yuan coin plinking away to recesses unknown, never to be found again. He hid the erections underneath his suit coat and marched around the corner to City Hall, straight into the city managers office.
In Cambridge, the nine members of the City Council were elected at-large through a proportional electoral process, and the members themselves appointed a mayor and vice mayor from the council, but the city manager, John Toomey, was the true chief executive of the city, with the power to enforce laws and ordinances and hire and fire employees.
Barboza dumped the erections on Toomeys desk and demanded that the exhibition be dismantled at once. Toomeyamused rather than outraged, which infuriated Barbozatold him that it was neither the city managers responsibility nor purview to decide what was or wasnt art, and Barboza would have to take his grievances elsewhere.
It was two p.m. From January until June, the City Council met on the first Monday of each month at five-thirty, and Barboza entered a last-minute emergency item to that evenings agenda. At the meeting, he summoned the director of Gallery 57 and the members of the Cambridge Arts Council (only two of three could appear on such short notice), and asked them to account for themselves. How could they have sponsored such an offensive and obscene exhibition? How could they justify showing such rubbish in a public space? What in the world had they been thinking? Never mind what they owed their constituents; they had left the city vulnerable to a sexual harassment suit by its workers, and by God he wouldnt blame them one bit if they filed one.
This is not art, he said. This is pornography.
The council recessed the meeting so all the members could read Jessicas artist statementabout addressing issues of cultural appropriation, ethnicity, identity, sexuality, and stereotypes in media representations of Asian Americansand go to Gallery 57 to view the exhibition, replete with the lights. Two councilmen held the erections in place on the mannequins, and there were some oohs and ahs when they discovered that the pieces glowed in the dark and there were hidden caches of miniature sculptures in the heads. They resumed the meeting in City Hall, and Barboza called for the Gallery 57 director and Arts Council members immediate resignations. They refused, so Barboza submitted two proposals: the first to hold a public hearing to investigate the Arts Councils selection process, the second to include, on all future arts juries, a councilperson and a representative of the clergy. The first proposal was accepted. The secondonly the motion about a councilperson, the stipulation about the clergy roundly dismissedwas tabled, pending review. Barboza then asked for an injunction to cancel all current and future exhibitions in Gallery 57 until the hearing was held and resolved to everyones satisfaction. The injunction divided the City Council, but ultimately was shot down. The show could go on, with a few caveats.
There need to be certain adjustments, the Gallery 57 director, Gustaaf Dekker, told us that night in our living room.
What adjustments? Jessica asked.
In order for the exhibit to proceed, Dekker told her, they want the temporary partitions to be permanent, so people who are going to get their dog licenses wont see it unless they intend to, and they want signs posted. He pulled out a sheet of paper and read: The works in this exhibition address provocative issues of sexuality and identity. To be specific, this exhibition contains explicit displays and symbols depicting genitalia, and these objects may be offensive to some viewers. Please use discretion in entering the exhibit space and viewing the artwork. Because of the sensitive nature of the exhibit, it is not recommended for viewing by minors.
Thats ridiculous, Jessica said.
Thats blatant censorship, Joshua said.
Theres a last little bit, a disclaimer of sorts, Dekker said. The City Council is not responsible for the contents of this exhibition and in no way endorses it.
What kind of chickenshit nonsense is that? Joshua asked.
Im not going to do it, Jessica said. I wont accept it. Its complete bullshit. Why am I the one who has to compromise? This asshole decides hes the guardian of morality for the city, and he vandalizes my exhibit, yet hes allowed to get away with it without any punishment? If anyone walked into a gallery or museum and defaced the art, theyd get arrested. Why hasnt this guy been arrested?
Im behind you one hundred percent, Dekker said. All the members of the Arts Council are, too. Well stand by you, whatever you want to do. Its tragic and reprehensible, thats what it is, this whole thing. Tragic.
He bowed his head, as if to solemnize the depths of the tragedy. Tall, with a trim, muscular frame, Dekker had thinning curly blond hair, and there was a bald spot beginning to form on top of his head. He was Dutch, born in Curaçao and raised in Maastricht, and he had come to the States because he had fathered two children with an American expatriate. He lived with her and the kids, but remained unmarried. Jessica had told Joshua and me that when Dekker was helping her move the mannequins from the Vernon Street Studios to Gallery 57, he had hit on her.
But I wonder if this is not so onerous of a compromise, Dekker said. At least the mannequins would not have to be covered or altered in any way, and the exhibit could carry on as scheduled. That is, if you are able to repair and reinstall the sculptures by Friday. Do you think you can do that?
I dont know, Jessica said.
We all stared at the two erections on the coffee table, which rested on the base of the scrotums and were sitting upright, glowing feebly. They had been attached to the mannequins with epoxy, and parts of the shafts and testicles were cracked and tattered. The labial folds on Suzie Wong in Gallery 57 were also chipped, marred.