THE CINDER PATH (24 page)

that would provide her ..."

The major's voice trailed away, and

Charlie, his jaw bones working hard against the skin,

snapped, "That's a concoction on her part. I've

told her I'll take the matter to court, a high

court, if she attempts to make that plea because it's

a lie."

Again they were staring at each other. Then Charlie

dared to look his superior from

top to toe and back to the top again before saying slowly,

"But this isn't a lie, is it?" and turning

abruptly, he marched down the room.

"Wait, please. Wait."

Charlie turned his head to look over his shoulder

and the answer he gave to the major was, "Tell her she'll be hearing from my solicitor."

He had closed the front door when he heard

her calling his name, and he was out and going through the gate when the front door opened again and she cried,

"Charlie! Charlie! Wait." But he walked on,

taking no heed.

It was strange, he was burning with anger and

humiliation yet he was experiencing a sort of

elation. For the first time since he had know her, he

felt on top. Had she ever run after him before

calling him back with a plea in her voice,

"Charlie! Charlie! Wait!"? She was scared, and so was her major. My God! the major. And they

said he was a decent bloke an' all, well

liked. In a way he could feel sorry for him, but

he wasn't going to let pity baulk him in this

case; oh no, no, he had a handle, and by God!

he was going to use it.

She had been naked, stark naked . , . both

of them. She had no shame. But then he must

remember she liked being naked. How many men had she

sported with before the major, and in the romantic glow of the fire in the sitting-room?

He jumped on a bus that took him over the

bridge into Gateshead and as he walked towards

Nellie's house he was asking himself who would get the

first move in? In a matter of hours, in fact as

soon as he returned to camp, he could probably

find himself singled out from the platoon and packed off to France, no uncertainty, no hanging about. . . .

Nellie was definitely at home. Her voice

came to him as he knocked on the door. She was

singing "If You were the Only Girl in the World", and as she opened the door she flung one arm wide and,

her head back, she sang at him, "If you were the

only boy in the world and I were the only

girl". Her voice trailed away, her chin

lowered, and she exclaimed, "Charlie! Charlie!

Oh Charlie!" Putting out her hand, she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room. "I... I thought you were some friends; I'm expecting some friends. Come and sit down, come and sit down. Where've you been all this

time?"

He allowed himself to be pulled towards the fire and for a moment the sight she presented blotted out for him the

last hour; Nellie was drunk.

"Sit down, sit down. T . . . take your

coat off. Here, s'let me help you."

Her speech was slurred, and as she reached up

to his shoulders and went to tug at his coat he took

hold of her hands, andwitha slight push caused her

to sit down with a plop on the couch. The effect on

her was almost the same as if he had douched her face

with cold water for she lay back, opened her mouth

wide, gasped and then said, "I... I know what

you're thinkin', and you're right, I'm drunk.

Well, everybody's got to have something. What did you

come for anyway? You never show your face for weeks

on end, then you turn up uninvited, yes,

uninvited,"" She brought herself up from the back of the couch. "An5 I'm expectin" friends."

Suddenly she was yelling at him, "Don't look

at me like that, Charlie MacFell! Keep those

looks for your wife; she earns them, I don't.

The only thing I do is drink. I know what you

think. I know what you think." She hitched herself to the edge of the couch now.

When he shouted at her, "Be quiet!

Nellie.

For God's sake be quiet!" she cried back at

him, "Why should I be quiet? This is my own house

an' I can do what I like in it. But . . . but let

me tell you something, Charlie MacFell!" She was

now wagging her finger up at him. "I don't do what you think I do in it. No, I don't. I'm not like

me sister, I'm no whore."

"Nettie!"

"Oh, you can say Nellie like that, but I know

I'm speaking the truth, and you know I'm speakin' the

truth. An' ... an' you know something, Charlie?"

her voice dropped now. "I'm speaking the truth

when I tell you I'm . . . I'm not that kind. You

know what I mean. You know what I mean. I'm a

fool, I'm a bloody fool, Charlie. Pals,

I say to them; that's all I want to be, pals.

They can come whenever they like, have a drink,

somethin' to eat an' a laugh, an' they respect

me. Yes, they do. But they think I'm odd.

An...' an' it's all your fault." Her body

bending now almost double, she began to cry.

God, what a night! What a day! What a

life! What a bloody life!

"Nellie! stop it. Sit up and listen to me."

His tone was quiet now.

She sat up and he put his arm around her

shoulders, and like a child now she turned to him and lay against his chest, and her body shook with her sobbing and the more he tried to console her the worse it seemed to get.

"Nellie! give over. Come on now, no more."

When her crying subsided she pulled herself away

from him. Her body was still shaking and she was muttering something when there came a ring on the bell, and now she looked over the top of the couch towards the door and

groaned, "Oh no!"

He got to his feet and went to the door, but

having opened it kept fast hold of it as he faced

the two visitors.

"Miss Chapman isn't well; she's sorry,

she'll see you another time."

"What?"

"I said Miss Chapman isn't

well; she'll see you another time." He addressed

the man who had spoken.

"She invited us around for eight."

"She may have done, but she can't see you tonight."

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm ... I'm her brother."

"Ger out of me way!" They both advanced on him at once and he was knocked from the door.

"What's your game, anyway, she's got no

brother?"

Still eyeing him, they hurried up the room to where

Nellie sat on the couch with her face turned from

them.

"What's he done to you, lass?"

"Nothing, Roy, nothing."

"He's not your brother, is he?"

"He's . . . he's my brother-in-law, the

one I told you about, the farmer."

"Well, what's he done to upset you like this?"

The two men were staring hard at Charlie now, and

he, staring as hard back at them, said, "I came

to tell her her father is ill, dying, and that if she

wants to see him alive she'd better go as soon

as possible."

He turned his gaze down to Nellie.

She was staring up at him, her lips apart, her eyes

wide.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Nellie,

we didn't know. Only you did ask us round."

Nellie now looked up into the face of the young

fellow who was bending over her and she said, "Yes, Alec; I... I know I did. I'm sorry.

Another time."

"Aye, another time."

"Sorry, chum"-one after the other they

nodded at Charlie-"our mistake. Be seein' you,

Nellie. Ta-rah."

It wasn't until Charlie closed the door on

them that he realized they were both sergeants and the rueful thought crossed his mind that he was certainly combating the higher ranks tonight all right.

When he returned to the fire, Nellie, her

hands joined between her knees now and looking like a

schoolgirl who had been caught out in some

misdemeanour, said, "Was that true?"

"Yes."

"How d'you know?"

"I had to go over to the farm today to settle things with Betty because there's a rumour we may be off soon,

and your mother got word that I was there and she

came across. She was about to send someone in to you but she asked if I would bring the message."

"Does . . . does Victoria know?"

He wetted his lips and swallowed deeply before

answering, "Yes, yes, she knows."

"Is ... is she going straight across?"

He turned from her as he answered, "I doubt it

tonight."

"Did . . . did you row?"

"I wouldn't say we rowed. Look . . . shall I

make you some coffee?"

"Yes. Yes, please."

He went into the little kitchen and lit the gas and put the kettle on and looked around until he found some

coffee. Everything, he noticed, was scrupulously

clean and tidy; she might have slipped in some ways,

but she still kept her place spotless.

He took some time to make the coffee and when he

carried it into the sitting-room she was coming out of the bedroom. He noticed that she had combed her hair and

powdered her face.

They sat side by side on the couch silently

sipping at the coffee, and it wasn't until she had

almost finished the cupful that she spoke. "If anything happens to Father, Mother '11 crumble

away."

"I shouldn't think so; your mother's strong."

"Not strong enough to live on her own. She'll want me back there, but I couldn't go, Charlie, I

couldn't live there again."

"You'd be better off there than you are here."

"How do you make that out? There's nothing there for anybody, except for those who've got a man by their

side and . . . and children. And what men are there left there?

A woman needs a man. Yes, she does,

Charlie, she needs a man, not men, just one man."

Her voice now was throaty and tired sounding.

He turned and glanced at her for a moment before

looking back into the fire and saying, "Very few

women, from what I can gather, are satisfied with one

man."

"She's made you bitter."

He gave her no answer, and again there was silence

between them until she asked, "Is it true what you said about being posted?"

"Yes, as far as rumours go, it's true."

"Will you let me know where you are?"

"Yes"-he smiled at her now-"I'll let you know."

"If the rumours are just rumours, will. . . will you come and see me again, Charlie?"

"Yes, yes, of course, Nellie, yes.

"Promise?"

"I promise.

"And . . . and if you're going to be sent over

there, is there some way you'll let me know?"

"Yes, yes, of course. I'll drop you a

line." And now he looked at his watch and said,

"I'll have to be off."

"Must you, Charlie? Couldn't you stay a

57rter-than

(J

bit longer?" She was gripping both his hands now, and he found that he had to look at them because he dare not look into her face.

"We've . . . we've got to be in by ten."

"Yes, yes." She released his hands quickly and got to her feet. He too rose and got into his

coat, and with his cap in his hand he walked slowly

towards the door, she by his side.

"Bye-bye, Nellie."

"I might never see you again, Charlie."

"Aw, you'll see me again, Nellie,

never fear."

As he bent down to kiss her, her arms came

round his neck and her lips were pressed fiercely

to his mouth. For an instant he returned the

pressure of the kiss and held her tightly to him;

then he opened the door and was gone.

In the street once again, he walked rapidly,

his mind in a whirl now, but one question that had pushed itself to the forefront he was answering loudly: No, no! that

couldn't be, he didn't think of Nellie that way.

But she thought that way of him.

She was still tipsy.

No, she had sobered up; and anyway he had

known all along how she felt. But that

hadn't mattered as long as he knew how he felt.

And now he didn't know how he felt. God! what

a situation.

And where was he going to spend the night? He couldn't

go back to the camp because they would think he was barmy. .

. . The Y.m.c.a. Huh! it was funny. A

house in the country, a house in Newcastle, his

sister-in-law's place, and he had to go and spend

perhaps one of the last nights before he went overseas in the Y.m.c.a.

He could go back and stay with Nellie.

Don't be such a bloody fool! What did he

think would happen if he went back there tonight?

Wasn't he in enough trouble? In any case, he had

already lied to her he was to be in by ten. The best thing he could do was to get settled down somewhere and think over what he meant to do about his wife and her top brass

friend.

He got on a bus, walked to a front seat,

paid his fare, and was staring out of the window into the dark night when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. He

turned to look at a young woman who was saying to him,

"It's you, Charlie, isn't it?"

As he twisted further round in his seat and said,

"Why, Polly!" his thoughts gabbled at

him. It only needed his mother to rise from the grave and they'd be all here, all the women in his life, not one

of whom had brought him pleasure. But to come across

Polly of all people tonight! And she wasn't the Polly

he remembered. She was so much older, fatter,