The Chocolate Lovers’ Wedding (26 page)

Her parents picked their way through the maze of toys in the hallway. Luckily, neither of them was barefoot so standing on Flo’s piles of discarded Lego wouldn’t cripple them.

‘I’m sorry about the state of the place,’ Autumn said. ‘We’re having a lazy day. My friend Chantal was married yesterday and we’re recovering.’

‘We should have phoned ahead,’ her mother said. ‘This is very rude of us.’
‘It’s lovely to see you,’ Autumn said, softly. ‘Really lovely.’ It wasn’t the time to discuss the fact that it shouldn’t be necessary to make an appointment to see your daughter – or your parents. That could wait for another time.
It was the first time in years that she’d seen her parents in their versions of casual clothes. Normally, they were both in black business suits for their lunchtime meetings in between appointments. Today her mother wore a pretty blouse, an A-line skirt and a string of pearls. Her father had on a blue shirt and what could only be called slacks. They were old before their time and still starchy, but it did make them seem more like normal people.
‘Come on in. Just mind where you stand.’
‘We’ve been thinking about things,’ her father said as he followed her into the living room.
Autumn held up a hand. ‘Before you say another word, I’d like you to meet some people.’
Her parents looked up from the toy minefield. ‘Oh, we didn’t realise you had visitors.’
‘They’re not quite visitors,’ Autumn said. ‘This is my boyfriend, Miles.’
‘Hey.’ Miles waved. ‘Pleased to meet you.’
‘This is my father. Terrance. And my mother, Anna.’
‘Delighted,’ her mother said.
‘This is Florence.’
‘I’m fiiiiiiiive!’ Florence shouted.
‘You’re three,’ Miles corrected, as usual.
‘I’m threeeeeeee!’ Florence shouted. Then she launched herself into a boisterous dance routine. The little girl was obviously still totally hyperactive after her tickling session.
‘Lovely,’ her mother said, fanning herself. ‘Very lovely.’ She looked quite terrified.
‘And this,’ Autumn blew out a breath, ‘is your granddaughter.’
Her mother’s mouth dropped open.
‘Come and say hi, Willow.’
Her daughter stepped forward and Autumn put an arm protectively around her shoulders. If they were horrible to her child or said one single thing out of line, they’d be given their marching orders and that would be the end of her contact with them. She hadn’t come this far in building her relationship with Willow to have them ruin it with a few cruel words.
To her surprise, she looked up to see her mother crying. ‘Oh, my,’ she said. ‘My granddaughter.’
Willow clung tightly to Autumn. ‘Hi,’ she said, reluctantly.
‘I know this is a difficult situation,’ Autumn’s mother said, wiping her eyes, ‘and neither of us were prepared for it, but I’m so very pleased to meet you.’
Willow risked a small smile.
‘We all have a lot of talking to do,’ Anna said, ‘but I would like to start to build bridges. If you’ll let us.’
‘I’d like that.’ Autumn turned to Willow. ‘How does that sound to you?’
The girl shrugged awkwardly. ‘OK.’
‘Perhaps we could seal the deal with a little hug?’ Autumn suggested.
Tentatively, Anna held out her arms. It made Autumn smile to herself. Her mother wasn’t a natural hugger but at least she was prepared to try.
Equally tentatively, Willow sidled into her embrace. Autumn’s mother kissed the child’s hair and, self-consciously, her father stepped forward and hugged them both.
It was a hesitant start, but it was something that Autumn had never dared to hope she would see. She turned to Miles; tears were in his eyes, too. ‘Go on,’ he said to her.
So she also embraced her mother, father and Willow. And they cried together.
When they finally broke away from each other, Miles gave them all a piece of kitchen roll to wipe their eyes.
‘It’s been too long,’ Autumn’s mother said. ‘So much wasted time.’ Then she cried again and Autumn squeezed her tightly.
‘I feel a bit silly now.’ Her father gave a watery laugh.
‘We did a terrible thing,’ her mother said. ‘A truly terrible thing. That’s what I came to say. What
we
came to say.’ She grasped her husband’s hand.
‘It’s working out all right,’ Autumn said. ‘Thank goodness. I’ve found Willow again – or she found me. That’s all that matters.’ She realised this was the first step towards building a proper relationship with her parents and she was more than keen to do that – for Willow’s sake as well as her own. It was important for Willow to feel as if she was part of a big, real family. She didn’t want the strife that had been between them to continue for a minute longer than it had to. ‘Let’s put the past behind us. We should go forward from here. I can forgive you and I hope that Willow will, too.’
Willow nodded tearfully. ‘I’m cool.’
‘You are a very beautiful young woman.’ Her mum glanced anxiously at the Alien Sex Fiend T-shirt and the ripped jeans. ‘Just like your mother.’ She turned to Autumn. ‘I know we’ve let you down, but we’d like to try to be more of a family. If you’ll let us.’
‘Well.’ Autumn looked around her. ‘You’ve just inherited a few more members. If you can cope with that, then we’ll give it a go.’
More tears from her mother. ‘I’d like that.’
‘There’s only one thing that families do in this kind of situation.’ Miles grinned. ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’

Flo sat on Terrance’s knee. ‘This is a finger puppet,’ Flo explained earnestly. She showed the little knitted toy to Autumn’s father. ‘Edward Bunny.’

‘He’s very nice.’ Terrance looked as if he was holding an unexploded bomb.
Autumn smiled to herself. They might want to build a family, but it was clear they had a long way to go. If anyone could break barriers down, then it was dear Flo.
‘Put it on. Put it on,’ she said bossily.
Her father slipped the pink rabbit onto his forefinger.
‘Now do a voice,’ Flo instructed. ‘Like this.’ She demonstrated her best squeaky voice.
Autumn’s father imitated.
‘No,’ Flo said with an impatient shake of her head. ‘Daddy does it better than that. Do this.’ She jammed another fluffy character on one of Terrance’s other fingers. ‘It’s Mr Carrot.’
Autumn thought the orange scrap of fluff looked as if it had been through the washing machine one too many times. Her father was trying hard not to look appalled. Just wait until Flo got out the rollers and the nail varnish. No one was safe.
Thankfully, her mother was getting off more lightly. Willow was perched next to her on the armchair flicking through some photos on her phone with her.
‘Shall I rescue your besieged dad?’ Miles whispered. ‘The poor man looks mortified.’
‘No,’ Autumn said. ‘It will do him good. Baptism of fire. I expect the last time he held a child that age, it was me.’ A wave of sadness engulfed her. She never actually remembered being cuddled by her father at all. Still, even if she hadn’t had the relationship with them that she’d wanted in the past, perhaps there was hope that she could in the future. For Willow’s sake, she should give it all she’d got.
‘I’ve got some nice chocolate-chip cookies in the kitchen,’ Autumn said. ‘Who would like one?’
‘Yay!’ Florence shouted at the top of her voice, making her father jump. For a little girl, she did have one hell of a bellow on her.
‘Does anyone want more tea?’ Autumn asked.
Her mother and father nodded gratefully. They both risked a wary smile.
Autumn grinned back. This was all she’d ever wanted. A family to love. She thought of her brother and how much he would have enjoyed this. He would have loved Willow. And Flo. What fun they could have had together. It was a crying shame that he hadn’t lived long enough to have a family of his own. She hoped he could see them now gathered together, the hope of reconciliation in their hearts.
Brushing away a tear, she collected the cups from the coffee table and said, ‘I’ll go and put the kettle on again.’

I’m in Chocolate Heaven very, very early. I have my feet up and, before the day begins in earnest, I’m enjoying a coffee and a cherry and chocolate granola bar for breakfast – a new and very welcome addition to the menu from Alexandra. I can see these selling like hot cakes, if only I can stop myself from eating them all.

It was a busy weekend for Chantal’s wedding, but I’m still floating on a little cloud of loved-upness. It will be me next, if it’s the last thing I do. I can hardly replicate the last one and have exactly the same wedding as Chantal, can I? So a whole new raft of planning will have to begin. Hurrah! The thought of it is making me happy.

There’s also something else bringing a little lightness to my heart. I’m currently reading a brochure for a renowned school which specialises in courses on how to become a chocolatier. I know! I sent for it last week in a moment of madness and it was waiting for me this morning on the doormat when I arrived at Chocolate Heaven. As I can’t hear Ms France moving about in the upstairs flat yet, I’ve stolen a few minutes to myself to have a quick look at it.

So now I’m flicking through its delicious pages with my mouth drooling. The course is modular and it goes without saying that each one costs an arm and a leg, but I’m sure it would be worth it. Wouldn’t it? I’d be investing in my future – mine and Crush’s. I could be a proper, professional chocolate expert rather than an enthusiastic amateur. Hurrah! One day I might have my very own version of Chocolate Heaven with LUCY LOMBARD, CHOCOLATIER above the door. I’m liking the sound of that.

It might scupper the wedding plans a bit if I splashed out on this right now, though. Hmm. I’d have to give it very careful consideration, but I’d so love to be able to do it. And I could take my time and work through the modules slowly as finances allow. That sounds like a plan.

There is, however, one space left on a course at the end of the summer. Wouldn’t it be great – now that I have a dream – if I could embark on it sooner rather than later? Let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and there are babies to fit in, too. I can’t hang about for ever.

I take a slug of my coffee to help sharpen my brain while it wrangles with my dilemma.
I’m sitting here, grinning to myself like a Cheshire cat, imagining myself in pristine chef’s whites designing my own chocolates and drifting about my own establishment with an air of gravitas, when I hear the familiar throaty roar of Marcus’s love machine pulling up outside. I haven’t seen him for weeks and my traitorous heart lifts slightly instead of sinking as it should. Damn you.
He breezes in like he owns the place. Which, of course, he does.
‘Hey, Lucy,’ he says. ‘Early bird.’
‘Hello, Marcus.’ I slide the brochure down the side of my chair. The last thing I want is a conversation with Marcus about this. At the moment, this is my private dream. ‘Trying to get ahead of the day.’
He flops in the chair opposite me. ‘Shouldn’t this have been your wedding weekend?’
‘Yes.’ Thanks for rubbing it in, Marcus.
‘So you’re still a sad single?’
‘I’m still engaged to be married,’ I correct. ‘It’s just a matter of timing. I’m already making plans again.’ Not quite true, but nearly so. ‘Chantal deserved this wedding more than me.’
‘I know. I’m teasing.’ He gives me a longing look. ‘You’ve always been a softie, Lucy.’
‘Yes.’ My glance is more pointed. ‘You should know.’
‘Did it go all right for her?’
‘It was perfect,’ I tell him. As will my wedding be when I eventually get it. ‘The groom stayed for the ceremony and everything.’
He smiles sadly at me. ‘
Touché
.’
‘To what do I owe the pleasure? Just passing?’
He checks his fancy watch. ‘Sort of.’
‘Shall I get you a coffee? Some breakfast?’ I nod towards the remnants of my breakfast bar. ‘These are very good. New line.’
‘A double espresso please, Lucy. Nothing to eat.’
‘You really should try some of your own wares one of these days, Marcus.’
‘I like to watch my figure.’
Finishing off my brekky, I lick my fingers. ‘I like to watch mine,’ I quip. ‘Getting bigger.’
‘I quite like to watch yours, too,’ he says as I head towards the counter.
‘Shut up, Marcus.’
I make him a coffee and, when it’s ready, put it on the table in front of him. Marcus regards me while he takes a sip, then he folds his arms. ‘I’ve given up, you know.’
‘On what?’
‘On you.’ He sighs at me and those baby-blue eyes shine with sincerity. ‘No matter how much I love you, I have to accept that I’ve lost you.’
A lump comes to my throat and I sit down again.
‘That doesn’t change how I feel, but I’ve got to move on or I’ll go mad.’ He pulls a sad and resigned face at me and it breaks my heart. ‘You love another man. I fucked up and I can’t undo that. You don’t know how much that hurts.’
I think I liked it better when Marcus was pursuing me hotly and I was continually rebuffing him. This is too distressing. I don’t want to be the reason for Marcus’s unhappiness.
‘I have everything I want,’ Marcus says. ‘Money, charm, good looks.’ His eyes twinkle with mischief.
This is more like the old Marcus.
‘Everything I want but you. And I’d give it all up in a heartbeat to have you back.’
‘Don’t, Marcus.’
He holds up his hands. ‘I came to tell you that I’ve just accepted a contract in Dubai. I’m going to be working for an investment company out there. It’s only a two-year contract but, if I like it, I don’t plan on coming back. I’ll be out of your hair once and for all.’
I feel sick to my stomach. ‘Oh, Marcus.’
‘I thought you’d be glad to see the back of me.’
‘Never,’ I say. ‘I can’t be with you, Marcus, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings for you.’
He laughs without humour. ‘Don’t give me a glimmer of hope, Lucy, or I won’t go at all.’
‘I love you as a friend, Marcus. That’s all.’ His face falls. ‘You should go,’ I tell him. ‘It sounds like a great opportunity. But only if that’s what you really want.’
‘I don’t know what I want,’ he admits. ‘Surely this is worth trying?’ He looks up at me. ‘Marie-France has agreed to come with me.’
More shocks. ‘She has?’ I’m so stunned that I’m not sure what else to say. Eventually, I manage, ‘I didn’t think you two were that serious.’
‘I’m not sure if we are. We’re too alike. Perhaps that’s what keeps me on my toes.’ He rubs a hand over his face and suddenly looks weary. ‘I want to settle down. I want a family.’
I smile at that. The last person on earth I can imagine being a dad is Marcus. He’s too selfish, too self-absorbed.
‘I do,’ he insists when he sees the scepticism on my face. ‘I just don’t seem to be able to stay with women who want that too. What’s wrong with me, Lucy?’
‘I don’t know, Marcus. You never seem to be content with what you have. You may say that you love me, but I was never really enough for you.’
‘You don’t know how wrong you are,’ he says. ‘I just didn’t appreciate you at the time. I was young, foolish. I took you for granted.’
‘That’s as may be. It’s all water under the bridge. I’m happy with Aiden now. And I
will
marry him as soon as possible.’
Marcus scowls at my determination.
‘I hope you and Marie-France can make a go of it.’
He shrugs at that. ‘She’s a feisty one. I don’t get an easy ride with her.’
‘Perhaps that was my problem. I was always too much of a pushover for you.’ We stare at each other, unspeaking. ‘So, I’ve got to find a new assistant soon?’
‘Um . . . ’ Marcus says. ‘She actually moved out of the flat this weekend. She’s at my place now.’
That’s obviously why I hadn’t heard her this morning. ‘She’s not coming back?’
He shakes his head. ‘Already I can’t get near the bathroom. Her stuff’s everywhere. My cupboards are no longer my own. How am I going to manage?’
‘You’ll work something out.’
‘Tell me I’m doing the right thing,’ Marcus pleads.
‘I can’t do that. You have to make your own decisions. If it feels right, then go for it.’
‘Nothing feels right without you.’ His eyes fill with tears and he comes to kneel at my feet. He folds his arms across my knees and rests his head on them.
This is the Marcus I loved. The stripped-back one without the gloss and bullshit. We were at our best when we were like this together. I stroke his hair as I feel him sob. The tears run down my cheeks, too.
After a few minutes he rights himself and I hand him a napkin for him to wipe his face. I brush away my own tears with my fingers.
‘What a twat,’ he says, blowing his nose. ‘What a fucked-up twat.’
‘You’re not,’ I insist. ‘Of course you’re not. You’re a fabulous man who could achieve anything that he wants to. You just have to focus, Marcus. Find out what it really is that you want from life and go for it.’
‘And what if I can’t have what I really want?’
I have no answer to that.
Marcus stands up. ‘I should go.’ He blows his nose again. ‘Please don’t tell whatshisname about this.’
‘
Aiden
,’ I supply. As usual. ‘Of course I won’t.’
‘I’ll leave the running of Chocolate Heaven up to you, Lucy. Do what you want with it.’
‘I do have plans.’ I don’t know why, but I pull the brochure out from behind the cushion and risk showing it to him. ‘I’m thinking of training to be a proper chocolatier.’
‘That would be great.’
‘I know.’
‘So what’s stopping you?’
‘Mainly money,’ I admit. ‘Some confidence issues, too. I wouldn’t want to do this and fail.’
‘I can give you the money. Lend it to you. Whatever.’
‘I’d rather do it myself,’ I tell him.
‘Don’t let being stubborn stand in the way of your dreams.’
‘I’ll manage. Somehow. I think we both have to cut the umbilical cord between us.’
‘You’re right. Of course.’
I fiddle with the brochure. ‘In the meantime, as you’re running away with my assistant, how would you feel if I took on Autumn to work here? I’m sure she’d jump at the chance.’
He holds out his hands. ‘It’s up to you. My name’s on the lease, but that’s where my interest ends. After all, I did this for you.’ He gives me a wry look. ‘Even that wasn’t enough.’
‘I do appreciate it, Marcus. And it hasn’t been too bad working together, has it?’
‘It’s been great,’ he says. ‘But I can’t see you every day, Lucy, and not be with you. I’m just torturing myself. You’re making a good go of it. I don’t have to worry about that, at least.’
‘Would you let Autumn buy into the business?’ She has some money that her parents gave her and I know she’s looking for a job.
‘Is that what you want?’
‘I’d like to put it to her. I’m not sure how it would work, but perhaps somehow we could both take it over. In time.’
‘Then I’d have no ties to you at all,’ Marcus notes.
I smile sadly at him. ‘Perhaps that would be a good thing.’
‘Come up with a plan and let me know,’ he says. ‘I’m open to offers.’
‘Thank you, Marcus.’
‘That’s it then.’ He looks at me bleakly.
The words I want to say will hardly come out. ‘When are you thinking of going?’
‘I’m not sure. We’ve yet to finalise the start date. But it will be soon. No point in hanging around. I won’t come back to Chocolate Heaven again. This is goodbye, Lucy.’
I can’t believe it ends like this. My life has been intrinsically linked with Marcus for so long that he almost feels more like a brother to me than an ex-lover. Even while hating him, underneath it all I’ve never really stopped loving him. However, the truth of the matter is that just because you love someone it doesn’t mean that they’re right for you. Don’t I know it.
Marcus might think that we were destined to be together for ever, come what may, but we would never have lasted. What we wanted was too different. I wanted Marcus and, well, I don’t think Marcus ever knew quite what he wanted. I don’t think he’s changed. I think the only reason that he still believes that he wants me is because he can’t have me.
And, when it all boils down to it, I adore Crush. He’s the perfect man for me. He’s shown me what love really means. We get along so much better than Marcus and I ever did. We laugh, we love, we try never to hurt each other. He is steadfast and loyal. Two particular things that Marcus could never manage. We want the same things from life. That’s how you make a lasting relationship. I would never ever dream of leaving him to go back to Marcus. Of that I’m absolutely sure.
Now, perhaps, Marcus finally realises it too.
He opens his arms. ‘One last hug for old times’ sake?’
Despite what my head says, there are still too many occasions when I can’t deny this man. My heart is a much more impressionable thing. I step into his arms and he holds me tightly, rocking me against his chest. I can feel the solid beating of his heart. He presses his face against my hair and brushes my cheek. The aroma of his aftershave takes me back to the days when we first fell in love and used to spend all day in bed together. I couldn’t get enough of his body, his scent, his love.
I once adored this man so much, so very much.
Then Marcus breaks away from me. ‘Goodbye, Lucy,’ he says.
And I stand while he walks out of Chocolate Heaven and out of my life for ever.