The Chocolate Lovers’ Wedding (21 page)

Nadia stared out of the window of the call centre. Outside the sun was shining, women were starting to bring their summer dresses out of the wardrobe and there were a few businessmen in shirt sleeves. She, on the other hand, was in an air-conditioned office kept at a cool eighteen degrees so that none of the staff ever felt that delicious afternoon sleepy warmth. She pulled her cardigan around her shoulders and suppressed a shiver.

She took her next call. ‘Customer services. Nadia speaking. How can I help?’
The woman started to tell her what seemed like the hundredth tale of woe she’d heard today.
As Nadia jotted down the details, she thought of her time in Cumbria – walking on the fells, the magnificent waterfalls, the ice-cold tarns, the lovely tea rooms and, best of all, ending the day in James’s arms. She wondered what it was like there now and resisted the urge to Google the weather in Keswick, just to check. James would be out in the meadows or on the hills making sure that his sheep were all right. Maybe there’d be more lambs to look after. The children would be back in school. Penny would be collecting them each evening. Hmm. Last bit, not so good.
‘Do you think that’s acceptable?’ the woman said into her daydream.
‘I can understand why you’d feel like that,’ Nadia said to placate her. Sometimes she felt that whatever she said it didn’t matter. The customers – who were, generally, treated shabbily by her company – just wanted to shout at someone, anyone.
She and James had fallen back into the pattern of speaking to each other every evening since she’d returned home, but there was a special poignancy to their calls now as they both knew how much they were missing. He didn’t mention his proposal again or press her to give him an answer, but it was there dangling between them and she thought of little else. Oh, how she missed him.
On auto-pilot, she managed to resolve the issue for the woman and braced herself for the next call. Her own mobile tinged the arrival of a text and, though she wasn’t allowed to take personal calls at work, she took a quick look at the message.
It was from Anita.
Come to dinner tonight. Mum and Dad will be here. It would be good for you to be together again. A xx
Her instinct was that meeting up with them like this was too rushed, too soon. She needed time to prepare herself, as she hadn’t seen her parents in years. On the other hand, there was no time like the present. She wasn’t doing anything else tonight – as usual – and, as it was school tomorrow for Lewis, they had the perfect excuse to leave early. Should she just bite the bullet and do it?
There was another call coming in that she needed to attend to and, before she could think better of it, she texted back to Anita.
OK
.
It was done. Now she only had a few hours to stress about her long-awaited reconciliation with her parents.
At six thirty she stood at the end of the drive at Anita’s house, filled with trepidation. It was all she could do not to turn straight round and rush back to the safety of her house. She knelt down and tried to smarten up her son. His coat was askew, one side of the collar of his polo shirt in, the other out. His hair wouldn’t stay tidy. It sprung up at all angles as if it had a life of its own. Sometimes he looked so much like his father. She ran a hand over his hair trying, once again, to smooth it down.
‘No more, Mummy,’ he complained, pushing her hand away.
‘I’m just trying to make sure that you look nice to meet Grandma and Grandpa,’ she said.
He frowned at her. ‘Who are they?’
‘This is my mummy and daddy.’
‘Oh.’
It felt awful that he didn’t really understand the concept of grandparents. The joy of having a fractured family. Toby’s parents had never enjoyed particularly robust good health, but they’d both gone rapidly downhill since their son had died. At first they’d tried to see a lot of Lewis and popped round regularly. However, if they were hoping to find comfort in their grandson, then they’d been terribly wrong. It seemed only to highlight that their own son was gone. His father was always grey with the pain of grief. At the end of each visit, Toby’s mother would end up in tears, which was dreadful for all of them. Now they’d sold up and moved back to Waterford, back to their roots and where their remaining relatives lived. She hadn’t really seen it coming, but Nadia thought there was relief all round that they didn’t have to go through the torture anymore.
Now they emailed her occasionally and had sent a Christmas card with a generous cheque in for Lewis, which was lovely. But that was hardly the same as having them around the corner. Soon, Lewis had begun to forget them so that when they called to talk to him, he had only a vague idea of who they were.
Her heart went out to her son. The relationship with grandparents could be so special, it was a shame he’d only briefly enjoyed that. Maybe she should make the effort to take him out to see Toby’s folks in Ireland.
It only threw into relief how important it was for this meeting to go well. For Lewis’s sake as much as hers.
‘Try to behave, sweetheart.’ Of course, he would. Lewis was a good boy, but it suddenly seemed crucial that they should like him. Part of her also wanted them to appreciate what they’d been missing for so many years.
With a deep and steadying breath, they headed up the drive to Anita’s house. There was a car that she didn’t know parked there and she assumed that her parents had already arrived. Nadia felt sick. Her palms were damp with fear and she was trembling inside.
Her hand reached out for the bell but, before she pressed it, she pulled herself up short. Why was she so nervous? She wasn’t a fearful little schoolgirl now, frightened of her father’s wrath. She was a grown woman who had successfully overcome tragedy in her life. She was a single parent doing a great job of bringing up her boy. There was no way that she should let the thought of this meeting reduce her to a gibbering wreck. She should remember the good times with her family. Her parents had been good people. They’d been strict, but kind. It was only when she’d gone against their wishes and had married Toby – a rather ordinary English boy, instead of some moneyed distant cousin she’d never met – that their relationship had gone wrong. After that, they had all become entrenched in their opposing views. Well, now they had a chance to put that right. Perhaps they’d mellowed over the years and had simply been waiting for the chance to be reconciled. Well, this was it.
She pressed the bell and within seconds Anita had rushed to the door. Her sister was giddy with excitement, clearly relishing her role as the family peacemaker. Nadia suppressed a sigh. If this all went well, then Anita would be crowing about it for years. But then, if it did go well, she’d have every right to.
Ushering in Lewis before her, Nadia stepped inside. She normally tried to avoid coming to Anita’s house as her relationship with her brother-in-law, Tarak, was never going to be easy.
As if reading her mind, Anita said, ‘Tarak’s working late this evening. Something at one of the shops has delayed him. He said he’d make it back if he could.’
Tarak and Nadia shared a mutual mistrust so, if she knew her brother-in-law, he’d stay away until he thought the coast was clear.
There was a wonderful smell of dinner cooking coming from the kitchen and it made Nadia realise that she hadn’t eaten since her sister’s phone call this morning.
‘I brought onion bhajis that I quickly made when I got home,’ Nadia said. ‘Not much of a contribution.’ She wished she’d thought to go into Chocolate Heaven to collect some cakes or a lovely selection of chocolates from Lucy. That would have been a better peace offering than onion bhajis, and she cursed her stupidity.
‘They’ll be so surprised to see you.’
‘What?’ Nadia hissed. ‘They do know I’m coming?’
‘Hmm. Not exactly,’ Anita admitted, wincing. ‘I thought it would be best this way.’
‘For who?’
‘I didn’t want them to worry,’ her sister said. ‘You would only have got all stressed about it if you’d known they weren’t aware you were coming.’
Rightly, too.
‘I did tell them we were having a guest,’ Anita added. ‘Who else would it be?’
‘Oh, Anita. You said you’d talked to them about me.’
‘It will be fine.’
‘I could kill you for this.’
‘Come on, let’s get it over with. Soon it will be just like old times and you’ll be thanking me.’
Nadia sighed, resignedly. What else was she to do? She could hardly cut and run now.
Holding Nadia’s hand and grinning, Anita pulled her into the living room. In turn she led Lewis who, perhaps sensing that all wasn’t well, dragged reluctantly behind her.
‘Mum, Dad!’ Anita sounded over-bright and false. ‘Look who’s here to see you.’
Her parents glanced up, smiling and then blanched with shock. The smiles froze on their faces and they both remained seated. No jumping up to take their long-lost daughter into their arms, Nadia noted.
‘Hello,’ Nadia said calmly, although her stomach was churning. ‘It’s good to see you both. You look well.’
The expression on her mother’s face made her look as if she’d chewed a wasp. Her father seemed to have shrunk so much in the years since she’d seen him that he was no longer the imposing character he had been.
Lewis clung to Nadia’s leg. ‘This is your grandma and grandpa that I told you about.’
‘He seems a fine boy,’ her daddy said.
‘Why so shy?’ That was her mother. ‘Is he a clingy child?’
‘He’s been through a lot,’ Nadia said tightly. ‘He’s always nervous with strangers.’
Their faces told her that they hadn’t missed the barb in her words. Anita fluttered about anxiously. ‘Tea, Nadia? Mum? Dad? More tea?’
This obviously wasn’t going as her sister had planned. And what had Nadia expected? Did she really think that they’d welcome her back with open arms? She’d hoped so, but looking at her parents she wondered whether too much time had passed for them ever to be able to get back to where they had once been. They’d been estranged for far too many years to be easy in each other’s company.
She could understand their reticence with her, but what about Lewis? He was innocent in all of this, yet this was their first meeting with their grandchild and they’d hardly rushed to embrace him.
‘Come and sit with us.’ Her father seemed to be softening the most. He patted the seat next to him. ‘It’s been a long time and you must have a lot to tell us.’
If she was honest, Nadia couldn’t think of a single thing she wanted to share with them. She perched nervously on the edge of the chair, Lewis still attached to her like a limpet. Her mother was scrutinising him with her unwavering, cool gaze and she wanted to protect her son from that.
‘Go and find your cousins,’ she said to her son. ‘I’ll shout for you when dinner is ready.’
Glad of the chance to escape, Lewis rushed off.
‘We’ve just been to the Lake District,’ she said pleasantly, as if talking to someone she’d just met on the bus or at the hairdresser. ‘It’s very lovely up there. We hadn’t been on holiday in a long time.’ She didn’t tell them of the reason for her visit, her gorgeous farmer with whom she was falling in love, or how she was holding a marriage proposal in her heart. They’d have to earn those confidences and, right now, it didn’t look as if they were even interested in trying.
‘He looks like his father,’ her mother said, curtly.
‘Yes. A lot. Sometimes I turn round and it’s just like seeing Toby.’
‘Let’s hope he doesn’t turn out like him,’ she added. And that really set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Anita served dinner and it looked delicious. Her sister was a wonderful cook. The biriyani smelled divine, the rice light and fluffy, the lamb tender and succulent. Anita’s chapatis were second to none, but Nadia could hardly touch a thing due to the acid swirling in her stomach. Conversation was worse than stilted and every comment felt deliberately hurtful and personal. The boys were eating in the kitchen together, so at least Lewis wasn’t subjected to it. She could hear the chatter and laughter from them and was glad that he was having a nice time.

‘It’s a shame Tarak is so busy,’ her mother said. ‘You know how much I love to see my son-in-law. He’s been a
wonderful
husband.’

They praised Tarak to the roof and Nadia wanted to tell them what her brother-in-law was really like. He was a deceitful man who liked to cheat on his wife – even with her own sister given half the chance. Nadia smiled sourly to herself as she remembered how Tarak’s relentless pursuit of her had turned out. She still had the photographs, locked away at home, that proved just how far he was from an ideal husband: Tarak in a very compromising position in a hotel room – one of Lucy’s hare-brained plans. She wondered what her parents would think if they got a glimpse of those candid shots or knew that in the past he’d been guilty of propositioning Nadia? Why, when they’d seen every fault in Toby amplified, were they seemingly blind to Tarak’s failings?

‘Your boys are so clever, Anita.’ Her mother again. ‘Always top of the class. I’m sure Daman will be a doctor or a lawyer.’
Even Anita looked discomfited and she never missed an opportunity to talk about her beloved sons.
‘They’re great kids,’ Nadia agreed, refusing to be lured into competitive boasting.
‘I’m sure it’s down to you being at home for them.’ Her mother dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. ‘That’s where a mother should be.’
Nadia bit down a retort. The subtext was there all the time. Anita was wonderful. Nadia wasn’t good enough. She hadn’t realised that her mother could be so vindictive. By the end of the first course, she’d certainly seen her in a different light. When Anita brought in their favourite family dessert of creamy milk and rice studded with cashews and raisins, Nadia felt so nauseous that she couldn’t eat a mouthful. Only her father looked slightly abashed, but he didn’t speak up in her defence and Nadia’s heart felt sad at the loss of him. Once, he could have been smiling and rubbing his considerable stomach at the thought of his favourite treat; now he ate the pudding in grim silence with the rest of them.
It was the longest dinner of her life. So different from the chattering affairs with all the family gathered round their parents’ dining-room table that they used to enjoy so many years ago. How heartbreaking that she seemed destined never to have that with them again.
By the end of the meal, she was longing to leave. If she’d had more courage, she’d have stood up and left earlier. This hadn’t been a family reunion, it had been a character assassination. She’d never thought the evening was going to be easy, but she didn’t think they’d still be so set against her. Clearly, her mother felt that the honour of the family had somehow been besmirched and could never again be scrubbed clean.
‘We’d better be going,’ Nadia said, standing. ‘Lewis has to be up early for school tomorrow.’ She turned to Anita. ‘Thank you for a lovely dinner. It’s been a pleasant evening.’
They all knew it was far from that.
The truth of the matter was, as they’d aged, her parents had become small-minded and judgemental. They were so entrenched in their opinions that they didn’t even consider those of others. Did she need them in her life if all they wanted to do was undermine her efforts and belittle her? If they had embraced her again and welcomed her back into the family fold, then she would have found it hard to break free. As it stood, it was clear that she was here on tolerance. Apart from one token effort from her father, neither of them had said a single kind thing to her all evening. There’d been no offer of condolences – no matter how belated. No praise for their grandson or how she’d managed by herself. It was as though, if they didn’t mention it, then they could forgive their own shortcomings. She couldn’t imagine a time when she’d ever be able to behave that way towards Lewis, no matter what he did.
She called her son in from the kitchen and they prepared to leave. Anita brought their coats and Nadia helped Lewis to button his up, feeling pride in how well he’d behaved.
‘Say goodbye to your grandparents, sweetheart,’ she said.
‘Bye-bye, Grandma.’ He gave a shy little wave. Still as much a stranger to them now that they were going as he had been when they arrived. ‘Bye-bye, Grandpa.’
Even though her face was set as stone, she thought she saw her mother choke down a sob. Nadia sighed inside. How easy it would be for either of them to scoop Lewis into their arms, hug him and make it all right. Even now, it wasn’t too late. But neither of them made a move.
Taking her son by the hand, she walked to the door.
Anita followed her, and at the door she mouthed, ‘I’m sorry. So sorry.’
‘That’s OK,’ Nadia said. ‘You tried.’
‘Speak tomorrow, sis?’
‘Yeah. I’ll call you when I’m home from work.’
‘I love you,’ Anita said. She ruffled Lewis’s hair. ‘Both of you.’
Walking down the drive, hand in hand with her child, Nadia held her head high. That was an ordeal that she never wanted to repeat. She thought she could feel her parents watching her through the window, but she didn’t look back.
The sad thing was that it would now make it easier for her to leave the area. She wouldn’t have wanted it this way, but it had given her some kind of closure on their relationship. Her parents wouldn’t be the ties that bound her here; it would be her friends. The Chocolate Lovers’ Club ladies who’d stuck with her through thick and thin. They were the ones who’d always been there for her. They would be the ones it would be difficult to leave.
Then she realised, with a smile to herself, that she
was
thinking of leaving.