Read The Cherry Tree Cafe Online
Authors: Heidi Swain
‘Lizzie, I’m so sorry.’ He frowned, his words barely audible. ‘But I have to tell you, I’ve decided I’m going to marry Natasha after all.’
I don’t really remember the finer details of what happened after that. I sat and stared, dumbstruck, as Giles’s mouth opened and closed and snatches of some of what he said reached
me from what felt like light years away.
‘I’ve never really stopped loving her,’ I heard him say, ‘I know now that when I met you I was just scared of the commitment she and I were about to make.’
‘But what about
me
, Giles?’ I stammered, bile rising as I refused to acknowledge the voice in my head warning me that the universe was gearing itself up to play an
exceptionally cruel hand. ‘When we first got together you told me that you and Natasha weren’t meant to be. You said that you felt lucky that you got out when you did and that what you
felt for me was nothing like what you felt for her. You said you were in love with me!’
‘No,’ he shrugged, ‘I thought I was, but I wasn’t. Looking back, I think I just got scared of the thought of being with one person for the rest of my life and I panicked.
I should never have split up with Natasha, let alone asked you to move in with me. I just got carried away, and if we’re being honest, Lizzie, even you’ll admit our relationship has
never really worked, has it? I mean, you’ve never really settled into life here, have you?’
I sat open-mouthed, too stunned to move and too shocked to respond. I had left my job, my family and all my friends in Wynbridge to move to London so I could be with this man. I was crazy about
him, would walk through fire for him and I had thought he felt the same about me. Countless times he told me that he loved me, that I was a breath of fresh air, that he’d never met anyone
else like me . . .
‘Excuse me,’ I murmured, pushing back my chair and praying that I’d make it to the ladies before off-loading the contents of my stomach.
I stared at my reflection in the mirrored wall but didn’t recognise the person looking back at me. Where had Lizzie Dixon gone? I teased a few of the tortured and tamed curls free and felt
heavy tears gathering. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath and splashed my face with cold water to try and temper some of the heat in my flushed cheeks.
‘I know this must be one hell of a shock,’ Giles whispered, as I rejoined him after a wobbly walk back to our table, ‘but I couldn’t let it drag on any
longer. When I spotted you looking at rings before Christmas, I said to Natasha . . . What?’
‘Exactly how long have you been back with her?’ I gasped, horrified.
Giles shook his head. ‘I don’t know, a few months maybe.’
I couldn’t bear to hear another word. Jemma’s voice was screaming at me to tip his drink over his head and dump his ‘afters’ in his lap, but I couldn’t bring myself
to do it. I suddenly realised that this whole meal was a charade and that Giles had pinned all his hopes on me going quietly and not making a fuss and apparently I was going to, but only because I
was too shocked to do anything else.
‘Can we go please?’ I said, standing back up again and clumsily pushing my chair away, ‘we’ll talk about this at the flat.’
‘I’m not coming back to the flat, Lizzie.’
‘What?’
‘I moved my stuff out today.’
‘You sneaky bastard,’ I choked, anger threatening to race ahead of shock.
‘I just thought it would save a scene. You can stay on there as long as you want. I can even have the lease changed to your name if you want.’
‘Oh thanks,’ I laughed, sitting back down with a thud, ‘you really are all heart!’
‘Don’t be like that. I’m trying my best to make this as painless as possible.’
‘For who, Giles? You know I won’t be able to pay the rent on my own. I’ll have to move out, and what about work? You set me up with that job. Do you really expect me to be able
to walk back into that office and carry on as if nothing has happened? I thought you loved me.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘So am I. I’m sorry I ever set eyes on you, but credit where it’s due, this is certainly one birthday I’ll never forget!’
And apparently neither would Giles. One fleeting glance at his handsome face confirmed that he hadn’t remembered it was my birthday or our anniversary at all.
Jemma began ringing soon after eight the following morning. Giles allegedly played squash with a colleague around that time and she knew I’d be home alone. I lay and
listened to her breezy answerphone messages which to me, her oldest friend, belied the desperation she felt because I hadn’t picked up. I could all too easily imagine the texts backing up on
my mobile would be nowhere near as polite.
‘Hi guys! It’s me again. I guess you aren’t in because if you were, you would have picked up by now, wouldn’t you?’
If it wasn’t all so tragic, I would have laughed. As the morning wore on her tone became increasingly frustrated, but I still couldn’t muster the courage to answer.
‘Anyway, I’m just popping out to take Ella to her ballet lesson and check on things at the Café,’
she gushed airily.
‘I’ll try and reach you later
on your mobile, Lizzie. Hope you’re both OK and had a fab evening. Lots of love . . . OK, bye.’
I slumped back down under the duvet, determined not to have to face the real world for a little while longer and thought about the exciting times Jemma and her husband Tom were enjoying. Unlike
me they had never felt any desire to leave Wynbridge. The place was their past, their present and now their future. They had recently bought a business, the Cherry Tree Café, and were deep
in renovation and repair mode.
The Café had been an absolute bargain, according to Jemma. The council were in the throes of regenerating the town centre and consequently willing to let some of the smaller shops go for
a song. They were pulling out all the stops to tempt the locals away from the out of town retail park, (which had seemed like such a good idea a few years ago), and back to the market square before
the place lost its charm and became overrun with pound stores. According to Jemma, ‘shop local’ were the new buzz-words on everyone’s lips.
The Café had been
the
place to be seen when we were growing up and now it was poised to flourish again and provide Jemma with the perfect space to expand her baking empire.
I wrapped myself a little tighter in the covers feeling thoroughly ashamed of the pang of jealousy I felt when thinking about Jemma’s perfect life and good fortune. She had a husband who
loved her, an adorable daughter and now her dream business; the Café was going to be the cherry on her cupcake.
I managed to get through the rest of the torturous weekend with the comfort of my other two best friends, Ben and Jerry, and I can honestly say it was no sickie that I was
planning to pull the following week. My ice cream consumption had reached epic proportions and I was in danger of succumbing to a severe sugar overdose.
Jemma had eventually stopped ringing, probably on the assumption that Giles and I were engaged and consequently otherwise engaged in a marathon weekend shag fest. Which unfortunately we
weren’t, well, he probably was but with the perfectly pristine Natasha, rather than the frayed around the edges me.
Disconcertingly my mother had also rung a couple of times. Her messages were left in the voice she saved especially for Giles and his family, painstakingly pronouncing every syllable, and along
with her nauseating tone there was the added concern that she hardly ever called. Her life was a blur of Wynbridge WI meetings and coffee mornings for orphaned orang-utans. I hoped Jemma
hadn’t bumped into her and said anything about not being able to get hold of me, but that was highly unlikely. The pair hardly moved in the same social circles.
I finally managed to get to sleep on Sunday night and unfortunately I stayed asleep. The cunning but face-saving Ferris Bueller style message I’d spent hours devising didn’t quite
pan out. Blagging myself a few sick days would have given me enough time to compose myself and return to work looking confident, over Giles and with the world at my feet but unfortunately, fate it
seemed, wasn’t quite finished with me yet.
‘It wasn’t all me,’
I groaned, increasingly convinced that this torturous hell was my comeuppance for so readily forgiving Giles when I discovered that he had been the
one who left Natasha at the altar, not the other way round.
‘Elizabeth Dixon!’
I cringed under the duvet as the voice of my usually calm and kind-hearted boss Henry Glover echoed around the walls of the flat. ‘
Where the hell
are you? In case you’ve forgotten, you are supposed to be heading up the sales meeting this morning! You have all the data on your computer and no one else can access it! Hurry the fuck up
will you, everyone’s waiting!’
Reluctantly I shuffled out of bed, knowing I couldn’t put it off any longer.
‘Sally,’ I sniffed into the receiver, trying to sound more flu-ridden than heartbroken. ‘Hi, I’m not going to make it in for a few days. Can you tell Henry for me? I
don’t think the message I left yesterday got picked up.’
OK, so it was a lie, but given the circumstances, surely I was allowed just one?
‘Oh Lizzie, bless your heart. I was hoping you’d ring.’
I swallowed hard but couldn’t rid myself of the lump that had recently taken up residence in my throat. Sally, Henry’s secretary, knew everything. I could hear it in her voice. If
I’d been genuinely ill she would have been sympathetic but brisk. I couldn’t stand it. If she knew, then so did everyone else. All the people it had taken months to win over when I
first moved in with Giles would now switch allegiance again, wouldn’t they? I couldn’t say we were ever bosom buddies, but I hated the thought of going back to work and not having
anyone
to talk to.
‘Can you tell Henry that I’m sorry? I think it’s just a bug,’ I lied, struggling to stop my voice cracking. ‘I think I must have picked it up over the
weekend.’
Sally sighed.
‘If it’s any consolation, love, no one blames you. It’s Giles, the little shit; he’s always wanted what he shouldn’t have.’
The tension in my shoulders had only just begun to loosen its vice-like grip, when the phone rang again. This time it was Jemma, and I knew I couldn’t put off talking to her any longer. It
wasn’t fair. I took a deep breath, braced myself for the impending storm and answered.
‘Finally!’ she laughed. ‘I was beginning to think you’d left the country! Now, don’t tell me, Giles whisked you away to some boutique hotel for the weekend, spoilt
you rotten and now you’re wearing a princess cut diamond as big as your hand!’
‘Not exactly,’ I murmured.
‘Oh, it’s a Lady Di sapphire, is it?’
‘Look Jemma, if you’d just shut up for two seconds.’
‘What is it? Oh god, don’t tell me you eloped! Ella will never forgive you if she’s missed the chance to be a bridesmaid! Give me all the details, quick!’
‘Well,’ I winced, ‘the day began with a trip to a country house spa.’
‘A country house spa!’ Jemma scoffed. ‘What was he thinking? You hate that kind of thing! Then what?’
‘Then back to the city for dinner.’
‘Yes,’ she snapped impatiently, ‘I guessed there would be food at some point. Jesus, Lizzie, just cut to the good stuff, will you?’
I took a deep breath and forced the three little words I’d been dreading saying aloud out of my mouth and into the world.
‘And then . . . he dumped me.’
‘
What
?’
‘He moved out while I was at the spa and he’s gone back to Natasha. They’re getting married.’
Silence, then quiet sobbing filled the space that had only seconds before been occupied by my best mate crooning about my future prospects.
‘Oh god, don’t cry!’ I begged. ‘I haven’t got the energy to try and make you feel better.’
‘I’m not. I’m sorry. It’s just so horrible.’
‘I know. I almost threw up all over the table when he told me.’
I don’t know why I was trying to make it sound funny. It certainly didn’t lessen the pain or the embarrassment. For weeks Jemma and I had been fantasising about the moment Giles
would propose and now I had to explain that what I assumed were nerves about popping the question were actually mass desertion tactics.
‘You’re not seriously telling me the bastard told you over dinner?’ Jemma seethed.
‘Yep,’ I nodded, unable to stop now I was on a roll, ‘but in his defence, it was a very nice dinner even though I did almost end up seeing it in reverse!’
‘How can you be making jokes, Lizzie? This is awful!’
‘Because if I don’t, I think I’ll go under completely,’ I admitted, ‘and I can’t do that. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much
I’m hurting.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you can’t stay there, can you? Have you any idea how excruciating work is going to be?’
‘Yes, it had crossed my mind.’
‘And what about the rent? You can’t possibly manage it on your own.’
‘Yes, OK thanks, Jemma,’ I grumbled.
Ever since I’d planned to phone in sick, my thoughts had been of little else but I didn’t need someone, especially someone I loved, telling me what a struggle my life was going to be
from now on. I needed Jemma’s support as well as her sympathy.
‘I’m sorry,’ she sniffed, sounding more like her practical old self. ‘It’s just such a shock, that’s all. Maybe you should come home to Wynbridge for a
bit.’
‘
What
?’
‘Just for a break, until you get your head straight. Come to us if you can’t face your mum . . . oh . . .’
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Don’t lie to me, Jemma. What is it?’
‘Well, I kind of ran into your mum in town last Friday.’
I slumped down on the sofa, the last of my spirit heading for the door.
‘So?’ I asked, trying to sound unconcerned.
More silence.
‘Jemma, you didn’t mention anything about Friday night, did you?’ I already knew the answer, courtesy of the answerphone messages.