That night I hovered outside the dining room. I could hear Pax explaining an equation to Corinne.
“What do you think Y equals?” he asked.
She sighed. “I don’t know. Can’t you just tell me?”
“How are you going to figure out how to do these equations, if I do the work for you?”
“There’s no point in this. I don’t even like algebra.”
I waited to see how he would respond. He was good with voters. Good with reporters. Daughters were a new challenge.
“All right, so look, when I was your age, I didn’t like algebra either, but it’s one of those things you have to do. You’re in this algebra class because you’re a smart girl. Think of it like this, when you get to high school, you’ll be in the next level of math with the older kids. This is just a stepping stone for you.”
“You really didn’t like algebra?”
He shook his head. “Can’t stand the stuff, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t do it.”
“But you’re going to be the governor. Can’t you just outlaw it and then I don’t have to do it.”
Pax’s deep laughter filled the room, and I smiled. I crept back to the porch where I had left a book. He needed to figure these things out with her. They needed to work through their own relationship.
He had been resistant to Corinne since the beginning. I was never fully sure he wasn’t trying to impress me, convince me he would keep his end of the deal, if I would keep mine. But there were moments like these when he didn’t know I was watching, and he did the right thing. I turned the page in my book. Yes, he was the kind of man who did the right thing.
I didn’t want to leave. That didn’t matter.
The mansion was beautiful. It was converted from an arsenal academy and had been the governor’s residence since 1868. We moved just before the inauguration. The outgoing governor was gracious about the transition, but handing over the keys and power of the state couldn’t have been easy.
Columbia had a different feel than Charleston. Sure, the walls were solid and strong—forged to protect officers and soldiers. Now it was supposed to protect us. It didn’t matter that we lived behind a gate and were shielded by thick trees and bushes; I always felt people were watching us.
I missed the beach. I missed the porch. With Corinne in school, it wasn’t as if I could just pick up whenever I wanted and drive home. I was starting to realize some of Paxton’s promises weren’t things he could deliver.
With an entire house full of staff at our disposal, it didn’t take long to unpack. I was getting used to surrounding myself with items that were meaningless. I brought our wedding picture. I packed a few books. Nothing else was worth the effort.
I felt cooped up. There was a tour going on downstairs. It sounded like elementary-age children. The guide explained each of the portraits in the Hall of Governors. I wanted to tell her they were too young to care what happened in this house a hundred years ago.
Staying upstairs all day wasn’t appealing. I grabbed a coat and walked outside, using our back entrance. The grounds were large enough I could walk and meander for an hour, as long as I stayed away from the wedding gardens. There were usually brides and their mothers scoping out the other houses on the property for their ceremony and reception.
It seemed like another life when I was one of those girls too.
The garden was dotted with evergreens, but it was still cold for anything but camellias to bloom. Cars slowed as they passed the gates.
It was hard not to feel trapped inside. I wandered in circles.
I wasn’t sure when I dialed her number, maybe it was the instinct to search for something familiar. It rang three times.
“Hello?”
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Her voice was quiet.
“What’s new with you?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“Avery…” I sighed into the phone.
Conversations with my sister had turned awkward and uncomfortable. I wanted the easiness back. I wanted the connection we had before she started looking at me differently, before the affair, before I lost Spence. Every time I thought the fracture had healed, it was cracked open again with searing pain. She would never forget.
“What about you? Feeling ok?” she asked.
“I’m good. I just want to take naps all the time, but other than that, I’m fine.”
“That’s good to hear. Normal, I guess.”
“Hey, I was thinking…would you want to come stay with me at the mansion? Pax has a governor’s conference next week. I can’t take Corinne out of school during the week. Why don’t you come up?”
“I guess that sounds cool. I’ve never seen it before.”
“You’ll love it. I promise. We’ll have fun.”
“Ok. I can rearrange my work schedule. See if I can get my shift covered.”
“Pax is going to be gone just one night, but you can stay as long as you want. Maybe spend some time here. You two have never really hung out.”
I heard the sounds of the hospital in the background. “We’ll see. I don’t know that I can take more than a day off. Getting one of the girls to cover one shift is one thing, but—”
I cut her off, sparing her from fabricating excuses. “I get it. I’m just happy you want to come up.”
“I’ve got to go. I’m walking into work now.” There was a siren blaring.
“Right. Right. Ok, I’ll text you later. See you soon.”
“Yeah, see you soon.”
“You didn’t tell me Avery was coming to visit.” Pax mentioned over dinner that night.
“I just asked her this afternoon. How did you find out?”
“Todd said something about it.”
“Todd? How does he know? I haven’t spoken to him today.”
Pax took another bit of steak. “Tell your sister, in the future, she needs to be more careful what she posts on her social media accounts.”
“Why? Is it a problem if people know she’s going to see her sister? We are family.”
“It’s not that. But, I don’t like to broadcast our everyday family updates. It’s why we hire people to run our social accounts. There are a lot of lunatics out there. People don’t need to know everything about us all the time. Makes me nervous.” He rubbed the base of his neck.
I considered his position. It was at odds with the life of public service he had chosen. But Pax seemed on edge tonight. I decided not to argue. I’d talk to Avery when she got here.
“That goes for you too, Corinne.” He pointed a fork at her. “I think sixteen is an agreeable age for you to be on any of those. Nothing good can come from you being on a public site. Too many crazies out there.”
“Yes, sir.” She took a bite of peas.
We had discussed her opening an account or two, but when it came to our security, I let Pax make the final decisions. Corinne didn’t have perspective on how dangerous the world could be.
He pushed back from the table. “I’ve got to start reading through the new legislation proposals. You don’t have to wait up for me.”
He left me at the table. I looked at Corinne and tried to smile. “Well, I guess that means we get control of the remote tonight.”
The governor’s complex had its own guesthouse on the grounds. It was used for official state visits. I wasn’t about to ship Avery over there. State protocol didn’t apply to my family. I’d keep it in mind when the Porters came calling to cash in their chips.
Pepper followed me down the stairs. I stopped in the small drawing room. Pictures of the former first ladies were scattered on the walls. Those women were cut out for public life. Their families had trained them to be wives of politicians. Redecorating the mansion. Preserving the history of the estate. Bringing the gardens back to life. They all had a purpose here, something that guaranteed them a place in the state’s history. Me—I was a teacher. Standing among the oil portraits, I felt out of place. I was a fraud. I was never destined to be one of these women. I didn’t have a vision for the house or the state. I didn’t know the first thing about hosting dignitaries and their wives. I was only part of the diorama. A nice accessory that could be spotted walking the gardens on the days I ventured out.
Paxton kept tossing out platforms. He said I needed a cause. Something I could get involved in to show the voters I was serving them somehow. I just wanted to get my bearings before I committed to a program. For now, I could hide behind first trimester excuses. Eventually, he was going to push me into the spotlight. I could feel it coming.
The front door opened and Avery walked in. One of our assistants carried her suitcase.
“Hey!” I pulled her into a hug. “I’m so glad you made it.”
“This is wild.” She marveled at my temporary home.
“It kind of is.”
“Do I get the tour? I want to see everything.”
“Absolutely.” I asked the assistant to carry her bags upstairs.
“Let’s start in the drawing room.” Once again those first ladies were going to mock me.
“You don’t even look preggo.” She stared at my stomach.
“Shh,” I warned her. “It’s not public knowledge yet.”
“Oh, sorry. I figured everyone here would know.”
I shook my head. “Not yet. I think we’ll make an announcement in a couple of weeks. I guess I’m lucky I can keep this little bump hidden under loose shirts.”
“Yeah, I would never guess.”
We wandered through the halls, going from the drawing room to the library.
“Before I forget, I have something for you.” She dug into her pocket.