The Cake is a Lie (19 page)

They both opened their doors in a rush,
“You guys coming?”

“
I’m straight.” I didn’t
want to leave the safety of the car.

“
I’m good.” Jon was busily
texting in the other passenger’s seat.

A group of rowdy rockers stampeded by
my window. Their big JNCO jeans jangled long wallet chains loudly.
Down the block, under a doorway arch, there were three teens
huddled together that looked like they hadn’t showered in
months.

“
Do you know where we are?”
I asked John.

“
I can’t believe you don’t
know the city man, we’re by Pioneer Square.”

“
The f, how do you know the
city so well, Mr. Smarty Pants?”

He laughed. “Man we used to skate all
over Seattle, I’ve been everywhere.” It was believable, I was
impressed.

Katie and Ian jumped back in the car
excitedly, “We got one of the last ones.”

Ian unfolded the orange piece of paper.
Printed on it was a rough black and white map with a route
highlighted by a blue marker. The “mystery” rave was in a secret
location in the woods, and instead of paying entry you bought a
map. The unique concept had soared my expectations sky high, but
now they were crashing. The “map” looked like it’d been drawn by
7th graders. Ian was a directions know-it-all so he busily went to
work.

“
These directions are
retarded, no way that’s the fastest way to Issaquah. We should take
405.”

John was perched over his shoulder. “I
don’t know maybe we should take 520.”

I went back to looking out the window.
I didn’t have a clue where we were or where we were
going.

As Katie drove, Ian massaged her thigh
with his hand. He was always doing that when she drove, they’d been
dating for almost a year now. They were a very PDA
couple.

“
I met the perfect girl
today,” I announced to everyone.

“
Who?” They all
asked.

“
She goes to an all-girls
school, she’s the best speaker I’ve ever seen.”

“
I almost went to an
all-girls school,” Katie chimed in reflectively. “Be careful, those
girls have serious issues.”

“
Why’s that?”

“
Because they’re
stereotypically treated like girls should be treated and it just
makes them even more girly.”

“
It doesn’t matter anyways,
I’m never going to see her again.”

I tried to tell them about my speech,
how well I did. They didn’t seem that interested. “And while I’m up
at the alter looking at all the people, I’m thinking, I’m gonna be
rolling e bombs so hard tonight.” Jon and Ian laughed, they got
that. I was just happy to make them laugh.

“
Brinng. Bleep.” Katie’s
phone went off.

“
Crap, that’s my mom. I
don’t know what to tell her, I can’t say I’m spending the night at
Carol’s or Kristine’s because they told their parents they’re
spending the night at my house.”

“
Make someone up,” Ian
suggested.

Katie laughed, “Ya but my mom’s going
to ask for a house number.” I felt a wave of relief that I didn’t
have to stress about my parents tonight. I had a pretty solid
alibi, my mom thought I was at Duncan’s.

Then I got an idea and started
pre-laughing, “Give your mom my number, Katie. I’ll change my
voicemail.”

“
Name her Jeanie. Little
Jeanie James,” Ian added.

“
You guys are crazy. I’m
just not gonna answer.”

Katie’s phone went off again,
“Brinng.”

“
No way this is going to
work,” Katie predicted before answering. “Hey mom.. Ya, the dance
was good.. I’m staying at one of my new girlfriends houses
tonight.. Her name’s Jeanie, Jeanie James.”

Before Katie finished talking I had my
voicemail set-up ready to record, along with my deepest possible
voice.

“
Hello, you’ve reached the
James residence, home to Jerry, Marcia, Jerry Jr. and Jeanie James,
leave us a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.” I
laughed so hard afterward that I got really pumped up and started
hopping up and down ecstatically in the back seat.

After getting lost in the woods we
finally stumbled upon a long train of cars parked to the side of a
dirt road. I could hear the looming music in the distance. It was a
steep climb for heavy smokers carrying a tent, by the time we got
to the clearing at the top of the hill I was coughing and sweating.
On one end of the field was a stage and two big projection screens
and on the other was a camping area.

While Ian took charge of setting up the
tent I stood around and stared at the bizarre people all around.
Carrol, Kristine, and Kim finally arrived as faceless figures in
the dusk.

Everyone gave their money to Ian and
Jon for e-bombs, buying drugs from the rave kids was Ian and Jon’s
thing. In fact, the only reason any of us had been messing around
with ecstasy was because of Ian and John.

They’d just been sitting together at a
park when one of them randomly said to the other, “I want to do
ecstasy.” Whoever said it first had balls–ecstasy was taboo at
Shorewood. Jonsen, Tim, and Kace; Loren and the juniors; no one was
doing e. Well, Janae and the musketeers were, but they spent half
their time hanging out with guys who’d already
graduated.

By the time I’d found about Ian and
Jon’s secret plan everything was already in the works. They’d
already found an e dealer, tried it once, and were doing research
to go to their first rave. I’d only had a two day window to get in.
Trying new drugs together were important opportunities, next level
friends-for-life shit. I’d needed that with Ian and Jon.

And as for the fact that everyone said
ecstasy put permanent holes in your brain? Well, they’d said
mushrooms made your brain bleed and I’d done mushies a few times
and was fine. Plus, I’d heard that scientifically ecstasy wasn’t
actually that bad for you. I’d played it safe anyways, and only did
a half a pill my first time.

“
What kind of e-bombs do you
want, Marco?” Ian asked me.

“
Blue Dolphin.” It was the
only one I could ever remember, there were so many.

“
Just one?”

“
Yessir. Wait, how many are
you doing?”

“
We’re all doing triple
stacks tonight.” Triple stacks were supposed to be as powerful as
three pills. Whoa, e-tard alert, I thought.

“
Yaa, I just want
one.”

Ian collected the money and headed off
with Jon towards the stage. I couldn’t think of anything good to
say to the girls so I decided to follow them after a
minute.

We sifted through the crowd until Ian
saw someone he knew.

“
Hey Sky.” Two kids that
looked like they were twelve turned and looked at Ian with blank
faces. “It’s Ian. We met at Hard Candy last month.”

“
Oh ya, Ian, what’s good?”
They clearly didn’t remember who he was.

“
You remember Jon, right?
Marco, this is Sky and Seven.”

The boy, Sky, had blue layered hair
with long bangs covering up his left eye. The girl, Seven, had
white hair tied in a ponytail to the side and was wearing a big
plastic heart necklace.

“
How old are you?” I
interjected bluntly.

“
I’m 14, Seven is 13.” Both
of their arms were stacked up to their elbows with colorful beads
and block letters.

“
We’re looking for some
pills,” Ian continued.

“
Rafiki has some triple
stacked green apples, we did some earlier, they’re bomb. Rafiki’s
hella tall and wearing a big spiked dog collar, you can’t miss
him.”

Some? The word jerked me. “How many
pills are you on?” I interjected again.

“
I’m rolling 9, Seven’s on
7.”

“
Holy shit, aren’t you
worried about your brain?”

“
Uhh, I dunno.” He was only
half paying attention to us, they both seemed to be scanning the
crowd, concerned with something more important over our shoulder.
Ian and Jon began the search for Rafiki while I headed back to the
tent.

“
Oh my god, I just met a 14
year old on 9 e-pills.” I announced running up to our group. “His
name was Sky.” The rave names were hilarious. “Straight e-tarded,”
I exclaimed.

The group didn’t acknowledge my joke,
everyone was really quite.

“
Marco, look at that guy
over there,” Katie whispered in my ear. Behind Carol and Kristine
was a man lying on the ground with one hand in the air like he was
reaching for the moon. His head was halfway up too and his whole
body was locked in a strange, strenuous rigamortis position.
Huddled around him was a group of concerned friends and event
staff. He didn’t see them though, his eyes were fixed on something
off in the sky. Something too close to our direction.

“
What’s he on?”

“
Who knows.” Eventually the
staff brought out a gurney and they carried him off into the night.
I’d done ecstasy seven times before and been fine. But I started to
get a real uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, as if I’d just
witnessed a superstitious omen. When Ian got back I took my pill
and bit it in half, letting one half fall secretly into the
grass.

“
Shit Marco, did you already
take your pill?” Ian asked right after. A hot wave of fear ran
through my chest and neck.

“
Yaaa?”

“
I forgot to tell you it was
a triple stack, all he had was triple stacks.”

Everyone laughed.

“
I’m sure you’ll be fine,”
Katie reassured me.

I got really quiet. God tried to warn
me and I didn’t listen. I didn’t even want to roll a whole pill,
now I was about to roll a pill and a half. We got into the tent to
wait for it to kick in. I was scared. It’s gonna be okay, I
reassured myself, everyone else is doing three pills. Those
thirteen year olds were doing 9. Has it kicked in yet? I feel hot,
I feel like I have a fever, I feel disoriented. I started to get
claustrophobic in the tent and got out. I felt queasy as the
glaring lights began bothering my peripheral vision. There were a
lot more people now, the hilltop meadow was packed. Huge gangsters
and girls dressed up in leather and neon parted for me as I made my
way through the crowd. The passing gazes from strangers only
amplified my anxiety.

Is it dangerous to bite triple stacks?
I panicked. I just feel terrible. This is where I’m going to die,
my mom and dad are going to be told I died at a rave with weirdoes
on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere. I walked off towards
a cliff and sat down on a stump, looking off into the dark woods.
My hearts’ just beating too fast, I worried. I shouldn’t have bit
that e-pill. I should call my mom, or 911.

I pictured my disgrace while I fished
in my pocket for my phone. “You have one new voicemail,” the
glowing green screen read. I didn’t recognize the number. I brought
the phone to my ear.

“
Hi Mr. James. This is Rita,
Katie’s mom. Sorry to bother you so late but if you could have
Katie give me a call I’d really appreciate it…Actually, tell her
she can just call me tomorrow morning. Sorry again for calling so
late, have a goodnight.”

I hunched over and cackled to myself a
few times. I listened to the message over and over again, each time
it made me laugh. Katie was gonna laugh so hard when I played it on
speaker for everyone. I got up and headed back to the tent. A great
feeling was growing inside me. It’s definitely kicking in, I
joyously observed, I’m not going to die. It crossed my mind that I
could even die feeling this good.

There was a gob of Vick’s Vapor Rub on
my neck. Carol’s nails clawed through my hair spreading in and out
like spiders legs while I moaned out loud. Someone passed me a
surgical mask gooped up with Vick’s. I took a big huff and floated
down into Carol’s lap while little black specks floated and twirled
all around. They looked so real. With every breath a rushing wave
of tingling contentment ran through me. Moments of self-realization
that I was in absolute heaven caused my whole body to tense up in
convulsions of joy. Every cell in my body felt as if were turned
over anew. All as I simply sat and rubbed my thighs with my hands
and impulsively licked my lips. This is the feeling I’ve been
searching my whole life for, I thought over and over.

“
You didn’t have any friends
in grade school, Kristine.” Katie was poking fun.

“
That’s not true.” Kristine
protested.

“
It is true. The only reason
Lizzie hung out with you is because Lizzie’s mom forced her to hang
out with you.” Katie turned to the group. “Kristine was so weird
that in middle school we had to give her an ultimatum, she had to
start acting cooler or we couldn’t be friends with her anymore. She
even agreed to come to “cool” lessons, taught by me, of
course.”

Katie got up on her knees, “See,
Kristine’s problem was that whenever a cute guy would talk to her
she would laugh way too loudly or hit him or something. So to
practice, I’d compliment her and she’d have to very gracefully and
composedly say, ‘Thank you.’” We all laughed, “This was before she
grew amazing boobs. Now she’s too confident. Kristine, what do you
call your boobs again? Mildred and Gertrude? Tell them how you soak
them in lavender ice water every night to keep them perky, tell
them how you sleep in a sports bra.” Katie was rolling in laughter.
I took a gob full of Vick’s and rubbed some under my nose and in my
ears.