The Burden of Power: Countdown to Iraq - The Alastair Campbell Diaries (118 page)

Both he and Godric felt that once I had gone there was a chance of getting the debate on to that basis. TB said his and my interests on this were convergent – I wanted to be able to go in a position where people felt I had something to say that was significant, and he wanted me to be able to do that too, and give him the space to make change and challenge the culture. He said to me later that there was a part of him that felt I WAS being driven out by the media, or at least by the state of my relations with them. He was a bit gobsmacked at how offside Fiona was. He was perfectly nice but a part of him was obviously calculating how to use my departure while at the same time keeping me on board should he want to call on me. He said he would be very surprised if we didn’t end up speaking most days, and most weeks that he would hope I would put something down on paper. He saw Geoff H, told him he had no worries about his future, that we would tough this out.

Geoff came to see me afterwards and I told him I had agreed with TB back in April I would go and nothing had happened since that made me want to change my mind. He said if I went, he felt it would be a disaster. TB was great, so were lots of people around him, but ‘one thing that people know about you is that you give good advice and you’re never afraid to say what he doesn’t want to hear’. He felt TB was becoming a bit remote and he was worried if I wasn’t there everyone else would be telling him he was the emperor and one day he’d be left standing with no clothes. I said that my mind was made up and I was telling him because I knew the media would try to up the pressure on him without me there. He was pretty much a total Blairite, a decent bloke. I felt I was dropping him in it a bit.

On Kelly though, he said he was absolutely confident of the outcome of the inquiry. I then did a ring-round of the people in the know to get their views on us doing this tomorrow. Fiona said yes, Tony said yes. I called Neil, who said everything in him said no. I called in Godric and Tom. They said no, that it would be seen as an admission of guilt to go right now. I had a chat with Phil Webster [
Times
], who felt the same. Then to a TB meeting with Omand, Scarlett, Jonathan, Jeremy, Matthew Rycroft [private secretary, foreign affairs], Catherine R, Tom and Godric.

There were mixed reports of what Hutton was like. Jonathan said [Gerry] Adams and [David] Trimble were united for once – in saying he was dreadful. Scarlett said he was an Ulster puritan, but nobody knew if that helped or hindered. He was a conservative with a small c. It was a fairly sober meeting, because the truth was none of us knew where or how this would end, and it was fraught with risk. We went over all the background material we would need, and the areas we would need to prepare on. I called Ann Taylor as she was about to board a ferry in Newhaven and told her in confidence I was going to leave. I was thinking about when, and felt that if the ISC report was going to clear me, that might be the time to do it. She said she was hoping to publish during the two weeks in September when Parliament was sitting. She couldn’t go into content but we could speak nearer the time.

Dennis Skinner called to tell me that the NEC had turned on Tony Robinson [TV actor and NEC member] who had said we should be nice to the BBC. Skinner said they had to support AC ‘because he’s probably against the war anyway’ and the party should support him against all the lies and distortions against us. He’d also had a pop at Mark Seddon [editor of
Tribune
and NEC member] for writing for the
Mail
. ‘I’m not listening to anyone who writes for the fuckin’ enemy.’ My own mailbag was running around 6 to 1 in my favour though there were some pretty unpleasant ones among the antis. I knew Mum would be getting upset, called her and she said she’d been losing weight again. Truth be told she didn’t have that much to lose. She said she wouldn’t sleep well again until I was out of there. She said every time she turned on the radio or the TV someone seemed to be having a go. I said it was fine, that I was doing fine and in in any event it is not going to go on for ever. Joe Ashton [Labour MP] called, said the PLP was strong for me. He said it pissed him off how the papers liked to say the party was against me. He said the party knows you do a great job for Tony, and they know that your enemies are your enemies because you do their job better than they do theirs – and that goes for Tory MPs having a pop as well as all the journalists doing the same. I got a similar message from Dale Campbell-Savours [Labour MP]. He said he was sure I could convince myself that I actually wanted to leave, but I needed to think about who would be happiest about that – our enemies.

Bruce [Grocott] popped in for a chat, and said something similar. He said he didn’t know what my plans were, and he knew he couldn’t believe the papers, who were probably speculating about
me going because that’s where they wanted the story to go, but he really hoped I stayed. He said it must be hard at the moment, but it has always been hard, and you can get through this. He said he knew I could convince myself that actually it was in my interest to go, but it wasn’t. He said it was what our enemies want and they would be the happy ones if it happened, not me. Bruce had always been such a strong support and I felt like I was letting him down, as well as Tony, in even thinking about going right now. He said he had seen day in day out how much TB relied on me, how much the whole operation did. He said there are going to be real storms ahead and I needed to be there to help him through them. ‘You are strong. I can see how horrible this is but just don’t give your enemies any satisfaction at all.’ I said I thought I was too far gone. The family was very clear they’d had enough and after all they had done for me, I owed them this. My relations with the media were also now pretty poisonous and I felt there had been times when I had done TB harm as well as good. He said that was nonsense – which is pretty much what TB had said, saying we conceded too much on the whole fuss about spin. He said I think it will be bad for TB and the government if you leave, and therefore bad for the country. ‘These people going on at you don’t think about things like that. I’m the last person to try to persuade you not to listen to arguments from your family, but if you go, it is a victory for people who actually don’t care too much about the country, but about the next story or the next attack.’ I said it meant a lot to me that he said all this, but I had pretty much made my mind up about it. I confessed it had felt pretty lonely and brutalising at times but it helped to have people like him giving such strong support.

The FAC put out a statement saying that at Gilligan’s request they would not be publishing a transcript of his evidence in the private session but sending a copy to Hutton. I bumped into Gisela Stuart. She said it would be terrible to publish it now because it showed both Gilligan and Kelly had got it wrong, though Gilligan was worse. I got home and Fiona was walking down the stairs as I walked through the door. ‘I’ve been fired,’ she said. ‘What?’ She said CB had called and said she felt she ought to leave soon. She accused Fiona of briefing against her, which Fiona said was ridiculous though she accepted there had been a breakdown of trust between them. Fiona said she did believe Carole was a menace but it was not true that she had ever briefed against her, let alone against Cherie. She was really upset that CB could think as she did. She was due to go out to the ballet and I
said just try not to worry about it, Cherie will regret what she said. I watched the [BBC]
Ten O’Clock News
, and Marr opining that a world without me – i.e. post spin – would be the best thing for both the media and Number 10. Not a word about the Gilligan transcript. Marr had become a PR man for the Beeb, nothing else. So the news was basically GH not commenting, followed by a tendentious two-way about me.

Philip called and said don’t fight it any more, you know you are going so just think of that, and don’t fight. Get out ASAP. I was being inundated with nice messages, ninety per cent from party people, a small number from hacks. JR and DB called, saying don’t go. Darren Murphy [special adviser] said don’t give the
Mail
and GB the pleasure. He said I was the ONLY person GB feared – and that included TB and JP – and he would rejoice at this.

As part of their continuing obsession,
Today
led on the story that I was planning to leave. We had the ‘wishful thinking’ line in the mix but it was clearly true and though they got details wrong – e.g. saying I would not go till Hutton reported – I was baffled as to how they got hold of it. Peter M called. I asked whether he thought I should do a clip on the way out. He thought not. Audrey [Fiona’s mother] was staying with us, said don’t give them any satisfaction at all. I walked out, said simply ‘Dream on’ and went on my way. I went up to Les Hinton’s house. Though I didn’t go into timings I told him I would not be there much longer. We discussed a few options with News International. I was most interested in doing something on sport for a bit. He of course was most interested in books and political columns.

I went in and told TB about CB’s call and said it was unforgivable that she spoke to Fiona like that after all she’d done for her. He said people were too fraught at the moment and Cherie was feeling under pressure. I said she needed to apologise, otherwise there would be badness between them that helped nobody. He said the problem at the moment is that the public will begin to wonder whether we are governing the country. All they hear is all this stuff about personalities, process and the rest and they start to wonder if that’s all we do. There was a case for me going right now, but I was tired and I needed a holiday to marshal the arguments and get things in a better place first. He said he was still finding it hard to imagine life without me being around the whole time. I said I would be available to help, but in a different way. He once thought he needed Peter around the whole
time, but he didn’t, provided he could call on him. It would be the same with me.

Peter M joined us and he and I were chatting away while TB was just looking out of the window, a bit vacant. After a while, he said ‘I can’t see the way to rebuilding trust unless we find WMD. And at the moment I don’t see how we regain momentum.’ Peter and I said things would look very different after a break, also that he needed to get focused on conference, where we always seemed to get things back on an even keel. We agreed that for Wednesday’s press conference he should say the focus was public services and anything at all re Iraq he should just say wait for Hutton. Peter M was being very helpful and supportive, albeit in his usual spiky way. He said it was poignantly ironic that he should be helping me plan my departure when I had so spectacularly been responsible for his ‘defenestration’. It was to his credit though that apart from the odd joke, he’d never really shown bitterness at his second resignation, and still helped when I was the one needing support.

I drafted an email to put round the building telling people what was going on but TB, Charlie F and Jonathan talked me out of sending it. They felt it might leak and thought it best just to let the media say what they want but not fuel it. Catherine R was doing a great job getting the materials together for Hutton. David Omand seemed a bit too laid-back, saying everyone should go away and have a good holiday. The BBC were still spinning away madly and of course would carry on using their output to help shape their case. It would take a very strong mind not to be influenced. Dyke wrote to TB claiming a Cabinet minister had told Marr there would be ‘revenge’. TB drafted a pretty rough reply which Peter felt we shouldn’t send.

Peter M asked if I was going to conference. I hope not, I said. ‘Who will write your speech?’ he asked TB. ‘Alastair and I will,’ he said. ‘He’ll have more time if he’s not doing everything else.’ TB went off to Chequers and I called in all my staff. I said that they’d all have been hearing and reading all this stuff. I wanted them to know I was going to use the holiday to decide what to do. I said whatever decision I took, I was proud of the team I had built and grateful for the phenomenal support they gave me, but ultimately a decision like this had to be for me and the family, and a holiday was the right place to make it. I could tell that they knew where it was heading.

[David] Bradshaw came to see me later, and seemed close to tears. He said people in here would be devastated if I went, that I underestimated how much of what they all did they did for me, because I made it a great place to work, and I took all the hits for them, and
let them take risks. He said nobody ever understood how I managed to do the job the way I did, but he was worried if I stopped doing it, the place would collapse. Gone was his usual mickey-taking Scouse humour, and in its place an impassioned plea to stay. But I think he knew it would fall on deaf ears, though I was really touched by his warmth and trust.

We went for dinner at the Blackburns’ [David and Janice]. Peter M there too and we were really going for a couple of people there who were close friends of Tom Bower and Veronica Wadley [husband and wife,
Mail
journalist and
Evening Standard
editor]. They seemed shocked by the strength of our hatred of Dacre. I said your friend Wadley works for the most poisonous influence in British life. He and his papers are evil. They add nothing of good to the world whatever. I was confident of being cleared by Hutton but wish he’d had the
Mail on Sunday
in there too. They hid behind the BBC. David Blackburn got the plot re the BBC, had followed it closely and could see all the holes in their arguments. He said he felt it was possible that I would be vindicated but also that Gilligan would not be condemned. I felt relieved it was more out in the open that I would be going. Catherine MacLeod [
Herald
] had done a piece making clear I had agreed with TB on May 28 that I would go. I felt I would be free to do lots of different things but also stay involved in a different kind of way, less intense, less demanding, with less contact with the media.