The Bucket List (45 page)

"Get the fuck out before I throw you the fuck out," she hissed at him.

He chuckled at that. God, she was so hot when she was angry... If only he could just push her against that wall, rip her clothes off and show her who was driving this ride now. They were going where he wanted them to go. Fuck
Nate and fuck anyone else who tried to stand in his way... even Rae. Couldn't she see it? Couldn't she see he was the only man for her?

"I mean it,
Corey. I can't... you need to go," Rae said as her eyes looked away from his.

He lifted a hand up to trail the side of her face; her gorgeous, perfect face even as he slowly pushed himself against her body. He was still very aroused, and that probably wasn't a good idea, but he was damned if he wasn't going to do what he wanted from now on. The little gasp she let out at the contact told him everything he needed to know. She still wanted him.

"You don't get it, do you?" he whispered, bringing his face only an inch from hers. "I'm done sacrificing myself. I'm done living in hell."

He saw the confusion flash across her face as she turned her head to look at him again. He almost chuckled. Had she thought the situation wasn't that bad? Had she thought that, in time he would get over her and come back 'home' so they could play happy families again, with her rubbing her torturous body all over his as they shared their 'platonic' bed?

Maybe it was time to educate her a little. It was only fair, wasn't it, to let her know why exactly he was taking her from Nate?

"That's right, sweetheart. I'm done. Do you have any idea the hell you put me through? What thinking of
Nate and you together did to me? His hands on your body, yours on his... you moaning underneath him, screaming his name..."

He looked away from her to push that picture out of his head, missing the little frown that formed on her face. Before, that image had constantly broken his heart. Now, it just made him so angry.
No one had a right to touch his Rae. Not even her boyfriend.

"Like I said," he said, looking into her eyes again. "It's what I want that counts. And. I. Want. You."

Rae gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth. Was she shocked? Was she thinking what a fucking nightmare this was all turning into? Was she thinking how awkward he was making things for her and Nate? Good.

He chuckled again as he turned his head to look at the man in question; who, oddly, was now just lying back with a beer in his hand like he was watching a movie. The fuck
!? Had he no balls whatsoever? Taking Rae from him was going to be easier than he'd thought!

He turned his attention back to Rae. Her eyes were glistening now, like she was about to cry. Yeah, he'd cry too if he was her and had a boyfriend like
Nate. Pathetic pussy!

"I spent day after day, night after night just longing for you; and knowing u were so close wrenched my heart out. I thought I was dying, Rae. I'm not going through that again. So go ahead. Choose that freak. He's still not coming anywhere near u while I've got a breath in my body," he hissed.

"I don't... I don't understand. I thought..."

Her voice trailed off as this time a tear escaped her eye. He couldn't help himself; he had to wipe it away. Her tears always made him weak. If she stood there right now with tear tracks down her face, telling him she wanted them to have a threesome with
Nate, he'd probably say, 'Anything for you, sweetheart.' But that shit wasn't happening. Not today, not ever!

"No? Well, picture this. You open your eyes in the morning... I'm there, my head on the pillow right next to yours. At the breakfast table... I'm right there. You decide to go shopping, maybe, or catch a movie... I'm right there. I'm going to fucking stalk you; haunt you till that pretty boy is no longer on your mind. I'm not going anywhere sweetheart. I refuse to be without u any longer. So if you care about your boyfriend at all, you'll tell him to get the fuck out of here while he still can. Tell him to back the fuck off because I'm never letting you go. And if I have to lay him down to make him understand then I will."

Of course he wouldn't go that far. But when he was angry things just came out of his mouth. Irving was listening to every word, it was a wonder he hadn't thrown him out already. If he, along with all the other men that were there, were to do that then there would be nothing else he could do to get Rae back. His life would be over.

Shit! His life would be over.

His anger dissolved immediately.

He turned away from her, finally releasing her from her imprisonment as he started pacing in front of her, running his hands through his hair as he thought of the damage he had probably done to his life. He should have just gone home. He should have just waited until he knew
Nate was gone then come back to 'woo' her. Now all he'd done was probably scare her off by acting like a possessive, obsessive fucking psycho. Fuck!!

"I bought you fucking flowers. I had a whole week planned of things I was going to do for you, things I was going to buy for you. Little things, you know, like that picnic by the creek we never got to take. Watching the sunset together. Having breakfast on the roof of some hotel while we wait to watch the sun rise. Things I know you love doing," he muttered, still pacing.

He was rambling now, but it didn't matter. He was fucked anyway.

"I was going to take you out to dinner. Lunch. Everything. I was going to go dancing with you, all night like we usually do. Anything you wanted. I bought a ring..."

He took the box with the offending object - a slim gold ring with a small diamond, just the way he knew she liked them – out of his pocket and opened it. It had cost him an arm and a leg but when he'd bought it that morning he'd thought it was worth it. Now it was just a symbol of his broken dreams.

"I was going to find the right time...maybe over dinner, maybe on a beach somewhere while the sun set behind us. I even spent a terrifying half hour with a
Crusher’s, begging for your hand; which, by the way, did not come cheap. You need to have a word with your dad and tell him he's not cool. Not cool at all."

He stopped pacing and muttering to look over at the
Crusher’s. Irving just smiled and raised his beer to him again. He was probably not throwing him out because he was doing a better job of digging his own grave all by himself. He looked over at John and saw him sitting forward in his chair like he didn't want to miss anything, a bag of chips in his hands as he munched away. The man who'd always had his back was now just watching him fall flat on his ass and enjoying it.

He sighed and turned back to Rae, not even daring to look her in the eye. He was afraid of what he'd see there. He was afraid to see the monster he'd become in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. If you want to be with Nate I won't stand in your way. I love you Rae. More than anything. I always will. And I want you to be happy. If being with Nate makes you happy... then I'll be happy for you."

So this was how his story ended?
From being on such a high to going to the lowest of lows? He had just officially lost the one thing that kept him alive. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

But then the most amazing thing happened. Instead of trying to get away from him, instead of running to
Nate to laugh about how much of a psycho he'd turned out to be, her shaky hand came up to palm his cheek. And she was smiling. Her face was full of tears now, but she was smiling.

He didn't get it. Had she not heard him threaten her boyfriend? Had she not heard his little psychotic rant? Was she feeling sorry for him? He didn't want her pity.

"I... I can't be your friend anymore, Rae," he whispered, trying not to lean into her hand. "It'll kill me. I have to move... to be away from you."

"
Corey... Nate and I haven't been together since my birthday," she whispered, holding his eyes.

"I know, but... Wait. What?"

Had he just heard her right? She hadn't been with
Nate since her birthday? But that was impossible!

He paused, frowning as he looked into her eyes. For the first time in a long time, he could actually read what they held. She was telling the truth! Well, son of a...
Nate hadn't even touched her; he'd been a dick for nothing! That completely explained why Nate wasn't trying to beat him down.

"I... I don't understand. I thought... I heard you... saw you," he stuttered, a million thoughts and questions whirling in his head.

Rae shook her head before he could get anything out.

"He's my friend. I haven't wanted to be with anyone other than you," she whispered.

"But... you only got with me because we thought you were dying," he whispered.

"I thought that was the reason you got with me," Rae stated. "I thought you didn't love me like that, that you'd only felt sorry for me. I felt like I'd pushed you away by loving you..."

Then full understanding dawned on him and weakened his limbs. His strength was literally sapped from his body as he slowly lowered to the ground, taking in the sheer extent of his stupidity. All the pain... all the tears... for nothing? Instead of celebrating the second chance they'd been given when they'd got the news of her real diagnosis, he'd just let his insecurities eat him up. Fuck!

And now, through his behaviour, Rae probably wouldn't look at him the same again.

He could only look at her, look at the perfection in front of him as he felt like the biggest dick to ever walk the earth. He'd said some very unforgivable things... he'd made her cry... Fuck, she'd probably been crying over him, last night. Running that conversation in his head now, with her apology and her defeated attitude, it all made sense. They'd been talking about the same thing, only it had been so, so different.

"Fuck me!" he whispered.

He heard a round of applause and turned his head to see John on his feet, mock clapping. He'd forgotten they were being watched. And was Shane recording this? Shit, the boy had his phone pointed at him, chuckling.

"Finally, he gets it!" John said. "Someone give him a medal!"

"John!" Mandy hissed, pulling John to sit back down.

He swallowed, ignoring everyone else as he looked back up at Rae. How would he even begin to make up for this? Would she still want to be with him after he'd showed her this very unreliable, untrusting and unrelenting side of him?

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. "I am so sorry."

Rae silently offered him her hand, which he gladly took as he let himself up.

"Let's go inside," she said. "We have a lot to talk about."

He nodded and followed, looking back at the people outside as he did.
Irving smiled at him, and Nate raised his drink at him, as if he was also giving him his blessing. He hoped to God the guy held no ill feelings towards him after his little display.

John gave him a smile and a nod as well before he turned around and allowed Rea to lead him into the house.

Irving watched his daughter and Corey walk into the house and let out a long sigh of relief. It was finally over. His daughter would be happy again, which was all he'd ever wanted for her. The past few weeks, with her cancer scare and her subsequent heartbreak had been killing him. His little angel deserved to be happy.

He turned his head to look at his young friend.

"You really all right?" he asked.

Nate
surprised him with a wide smile.

"I'm so getting that video from Shane's phone,"
Nate chuckled. "That was some fucked up shit!"

He laughed too.
Nate didn't know the half of it!

"I'm
all right," Nate continued. "I thought it would hurt, you know, watching them make up and all, but I'm actually very happy for her. She deserves this after what she's been through."

"
That mean you'll be sticking around?"

"Yeah,"
Nate answered with a nod. "I know my relationship with Rae was only for a ridiculous amount of time, but we connected on some level. She understood me perfectly, that's something I don't get a lot. It's had me thinking that maybe we'll be all right as just friends after all. And you guys have near enough become my family the past couple of months. You've let me into your home and shared your lives with me. When I was worried to death about Rae dying, it was so comforting being around you, being a part of you."

Irving
put his hand on the young man's back and gave him a gentle pat.

"If it weren't for you, all of us here would probably have fallen apart. You have my eternal gratitude,
Nate, for what you've done for my family," he said. "I feel honoured to call you my friend."

Nate
looked up at him, clearly at a loss for words. He almost chuckled. He knew a lot of people felt intimidated by him so they stayed out of his way, so yeah, calling Nate his friend would probably have shocked him.

"Stick your tongue back in your mouth, boy," he said, stretching his legs in front of him.

"I'm just... wow. I thought you didn't even like me."

"I didn't," he answered. "Turns out you're good for more than just pissing me off at work."