The Bucket List (32 page)

Then the lips continued their journey, making her scream out in pleasure when they finally glazed over where she needed them the most. They did everything right, just as they had the previous night; so right she had to grip the sheets beside her as wave after wave washed over her.

But he wasn't finished, and neither was she. Quickly moving up her body, he caught her eyes before slowly sinking into her. She screamed out again as she bucked her hips to take all of him. She clung onto him as he slowly pulled out of her before plunging in again.

"Corey!" she screamed, breathless as he took her closer to another release.

He groaned her name as his movements became more frantic and her legs tightened around his body. This was heaven. This was all the times she'd come combined in one. With a final thrust, he brought her over the edge before immediately following her, his cries mingling with her own as they started to fall from their high peak.

"You belong to me," he repeated breathlessly. "For always."

Still clutching onto him, still trembling and her heart unguarded, she told him the truth.

"For always," she agreed, even though she knew that in her case, always was only a matter of days.

Yes, for today only, she would believe in happily ever after.

He hadn't meant to look through it, really he hadn't. Rae had given Matt her bag to hold while she'd danced and drank the night away; and after Corey had dragged her away, they'd both decided it was better to wait till the morning to give it back. But he had accidentally knocked Rae's bag from the table where Matt had put it and spilled its contents. And even then, he hadn't meant to look at the stuff as he'd put it back in the bag, but he hadn't been able to help himself. Two bottles of the painkillers... make up... her phone, which was blinking with missed calls and messages... a little address book... and the famed Bucket List.

He had known what it was because it said it in big red letters at the top. Now he sat on the chair in his hotel room looking down at it, debating with himself whether to read it or not.

"Are you going to do it?"

He looked up at his brother then back at the folded pieces of paper.

"I always thought it would be bigger than this," he said quietly. "She told me she added things on it as she went along. I guess she didn't expect it to become so vital to her so soon. I mean, no one expects to die so young... "

Matt patted him on the back to offer him a bit of comfort.

"I didn't really know her; I mean, one week isn't nearly enough to know everything about a person. Someone's bucket list... that would be the best way to sum someone up, wouldn't it? All the things they really want to do but wouldn't normally get the chance? It's like reading their hearts," he continued. "She never wanted anyone to read this, I guess because she never wanted anyone to know what she had in her heart. I shouldn't read it... "

He looked up at his brother as he said it, looking for the strength to stop
himself.

"Maybe you should," Matt said instead. "Read it... laugh... cry, whatever. Then put it back in her bag and move on. Maybe you'll find something in there that will make you see her differently."

"Or something that will make it harder for me to let her go... "

"Either way, it would be closure. You'll know what makes her who she is; you'll love it or hate it, then be strong enough to let her go. You knew she belonged to
Steele from the beginning. Remember when I called you after I'd found out, when you were getting ready for your date? You said you didn't want to keep your heart out of the bedroom because she was special. You wanted to love her, to show her what it could be like. And you have. Who knows, maybe it was you who pushed her and Corey together. Face it, bro... She needs him more than she needs you right now. Let her go."

He looked down at the pieces of paper again, the only thing he had that would bring him closer to Rae... and maybe give him the strength to move on.

Then slowly he unfolded it.

1)Climb
the highest mountain, conquer it. Mum dying wasn't a punishment. She's happy now, with Greg. When I stand at the top I have to let her go. I may stand alone, but I will not be lonely. I have my whole life ahead of me... and Corey.

2)Bungee
jump from a plane. See what it means to be really free, like a bird. Spread my wings.

3)Get
rid of Corey's awful orange shirt... Let him know it is NOT okay to shop while drunk, and even worse to ask my opinion about it while I'm equally intoxicated. I think he only wears it because of the way I ecstatically ran my hands over it and screamed how much I loved it.

4)Give
to charity. I've been very selfish even though I have been blessed financially. Better yet, start my own, maybe name it 'The Rebecca Taylor Cancer Research Centre' or something like that. Mum would love it. Better to keep track of it myself. Might swindle a few thousand dollars out for Corey to get that going!

He let out a little smile. Somehow he had expected the list to be fully of wild, crazy things like fly to the moon and get nailed in space, some shit like that; but it was really like Rae's little journal on her road to becoming a better person. No wonder she'd kept it secret.

5)Learn to say please. And thank you. And all the other shit crazy things like that. Basically, learn to be nice. It's been great being a bitch and all but it's earned me no friends. Maybe Corey will start being nicer, too, so I won't have to suffer with it by myself.

6)Try
and make some friends. It will be hard, I know, I don't really need anyone else besides Corey... but mum had millions of friends. I should really try to be more like her.

"I'm going to leave you to it,
Nate," Matt said as he grabbed his keys. "Call me later. I can take the bag to her when you're ready, if you want."

He smiled up at his brother.

"I might take it to her myself," he said. "I won't be seeing her much after this, I don't think. I'll just find out if she's happy with Corey... then I'll let her go."

He looked down at the list again. Of course she'd be happy. She might not have realised as she'd wrote the list, but
Corey's name was all over it. It told him everything he needed to know.

As he continued to read, he prayed to a God he didn't believe in to spare the life of this young woman who was so desperately trying to be happy.

"I won't be long," Corey said as he dropped a kiss on her lips. "I'm gagging for a smoke and we need to eat. The hundred margaritas you had last night don't count as food. Then when I come back, you and I will talk."

It had occurred to him as he'd got himself dressed that he hadn't really said those three words yet. He planned on fixing that.

"I'm giving you ten minutes," she said as she lazily rolled over to face him, "then your birthday treat will be ready. We can talk after you've unwrapped it... "

She licked her lips as she said this, giving him a pretty good idea
what his treat was. Swallowing hard, he followed her hand as it cupped her breast.

"Five minutes," he said hoarsely before his stomach reminded him that he hadn't eaten properly for the whole past week.

He grabbed his key card and wallet before kissing her again. He'd never get tired of that, he thought, as he left the room and headed to the little shop in the lobby.

Everything seemed brighter that morning. He saw
Peyton and Kelly heading to the restaurant and even their sour faces didn't dampen his mood. He even wished them a "good morning," as he walked past them and found that he actually meant it this time. And for the first time ever, he asked the man serving behind the counter of the little shop how he was doing and actually listened to the answer.

"New baby? Congratulations, man," he said as he shook the man's hand. "Boy or girl?"

"Girl," he answered with a proud smile on his face as he took a picture out of his wallet. "Just last night."

A lump caught in his throat as he briefly remembered what Rae had told him. She would never carry his children in her womb. But it would be okay... once they beat the
cancer, they could adopt as many kids as they wanted.

"Do you have any kids?" the man asked.

"No. My girlfriend... she's got cancer. There's a chance the treatment will make her infertile," he answered, his voice tinged with a bit of sadness.

He had no idea why he was opening up to a stranger but for the first time since she told him, he found he could actually talk about it.

"I'm sorry, man. What's her name?"

"
Rachael. Rae for short."

"Then I will name my girl
Rachael. If you don't mind," the man said.

Shocked and touched at the same time, he looked at the man.

"You'd do that for me? You don't even know me."

"
Rachael is a pretty name," the man shrugged with a smile. "When your girlfriend gets better, you can come and visit her namesake anytime."

A big smile forming on his lips, he shook the man's hand. He had said 'when' she got better, not 'if'.

"Thank you. I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," he said sincerely.

He asked the man for his number because he meant to take him up on his offer. When all was said and done, when the
tumor was gone, he would take Rae to see this man's beautiful girl. When he looked down at the piece of paper, he noticed, ironically, that the man's name was Irving. And now Irving would name his child Rachael. He felt a chill run through him as he thought it was a bad omen... new life for old and all that, but he quickly put it out of his mind. He couldn't concentrate on any negatives.

"Is that a smile? I haven't seen one of those in a while. Watch yourself,
Steele, your face might crack!"

He twirled around, his smile getting bigger as he took
Alyssa into a warm hug.

"Hey, beautiful," he said when he finally released her. "I didn't realise you were here."

"Yeah, I sort of figured," Mandy chuckled. "You didn't really notice anyone last night except Rae."

He chuckled as he paid his new friend for his cigarettes and stuffed them in his pocket.

"You're a good guy," he told him before taking Mandy's little hand in his and giving him a respectful nod as he walked out of the shop.

"You're unnaturally friendly today,"
Mandy teased.

"It must be something I ate," he laughed as he walked with her to the restaurant.

"I'm going to get some food for Rae. Wanna grab a quick coffee while we wait for it?" he asked.

"Sure."

They found a table far away from the other fighters and a waiter came to serve them straight away. He ordered a big breakfast for both him and Rae because he didn't think they'd want to worry about food again that day. Even though they room service, he didn't want anyone disturbing them at all, not with the day he had planned.

"So... how you doin'?" he asked when their coffee arrived.

"All right, I guess. John's in my room, passed out," Mandy answered as she stirred her coffee.

John. For some reason, even hearing his name didn't bother him this morning. He felt invigorated, like he was above everything else
; like nothing could touch him. He couldn't ever remember feeling this alive and because of this, for the first time that week, he felt a tinge of hope. Surely the Big Guy up there wouldn't take Rae away from him now, not when they'd found this amazing thing they had.

"Got wasted, did he? Figured he would. He'd had at least two drinks before we'd even sat down," he said. "So did you guys talk?"

"Not really. Well, he said some things... he's really hurting, Corey and for some reason he thinks I can help him."

He covered her hand with his on the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. He knew John was hurting. Even though he was still mad at the guy for even thinking of going that far with Rae; even though he really believed that the guy was crazy about Rae, he knew John wasn't taking this any better than him.

"You can help him," he smiled sadly. "He needs you. I know how hurt you still feel, trust me. But all this shit just made me realise how short life really is. The guy cares about you and he really regrets what he did. Is it going to take another tragedy to make you see that and realise how much time you're wasting? Don't be afraid to show him how you feel. It might be what both of you need to get you through this."

Alyssa
smiled up into his eyes at that.

"I take it this means you've finally got your head screwed on right? Told you, didn't I, that you're in love with her?"

"It's more than love, Mandy. It's like I've been dead inside all this time and didn't even realise it. Last night... everything just fell into place. And this might sound cheesy, but she completes me. I've found my perfect someone and I didn't even realise I was looking. I'm never going to let her go now."

He could see in her eyes when he said that that she thought of the cancer. He knew it wouldn't be up to him if he had to let her go or not, but damn it if he wouldn't die trying. He'd always known he couldn't live without Rae but last night, he had realised that if she died on him, he would die with her.