The Bright Side (31 page)

I paused to clear my throat. Quite honestly, reading the words “Once upon a time” had caused a bit of a lump to develop. It had been so long
.

“Hurry UP!” Niall screeched. That cleared the lump at least
.

“Now, now,” Melissa said. “You have to be patient, sweetie.
”

“
The three
little pigs
set off
,” I continued. “
They
said, ‘We
will take
care
that
the
wolf
does
not
catch
us.’
Soon
they
met
a
man
who was
carrying
some
straw.”

Niall waved his arms around, and not in a good way. “What is it?” I asked him, trying not to sound annoyed. “Where’s the wolf? I want the WOLF!
”

“The wolf doesn’t come into it just yet,” I said. “He’ll be along in a minute,” Melissa added
.

Back to the book I went. I read quite well, I thought, all things considered. I did separate voices for each character and really went to town on my huffs and puffs. Right throughout, I was aware that Niall was growing ever more displeased, but I tried to tell myself that it was the subject matter and not my delivery that was upsetting him; pigs number one and two do get eaten, after all. The wolf was just beginning to realise that pig number three was a smarter cookie than his dead brothers when Niall suddenly blew his top
.

“The WOLF!” he roared, his face crimson. “I want the WOLF!
”

“The wolf”s here now,” I said. I didn’t want to make the child feel stupid, but there was no other way of putting it. “That was him blowing the houses down, remember?
”

Niall made fists and stared at my feet. “The other wolf,” he said slowly. “The wolf in the dress. I want the wolf in the DRESS!
”

Melissa cottoned on before I did. “No, honey, that’s a different story. That’s
Little
Red
Riding
Hood
.”

“Ah,” I said. “Case of mistaken identity. Tell you what, we’ll finish this one and then I’ll read you that one. Is that okay?
”

It was a more than reasonable offer, I thought
.

Niall disagreed. He screamed and flopped onto his side as if he’d been shot. Then he curled up into a ball. Before I knew what was what, he was in the grip of a full-on episode
.

“Brilliant,” I said under my breath
.

Credit where credit is due – Melissa was dead right: an episode was nothing like a tantrum. There was a time, about twenty minutes after Niall had issued his first scream, when I thought we might need to call an ambulance. Or the Guards
.

“
No
need!
” Melissa roared over the din. “I used to think that too. But it’ll pass, don’t worry. He’ll burn himself out in a minute. Well, maybe not a minute but soon enough.
”

The
screaming
was
just
as
she
had
described
it,
only worse.
And
louder.
It
was
accompanied
by
a
frantic
flailing
of all
four
limbs
which
eventually
became
so
threatening
that we
decided
to
restrain
him.
It
took
us
quite
a
while
to
get him
onto
a
sofa,
where
Melissa
sat
on
his
ankles
while
I
held
him
by
the
wrists.
He
bucked
and
writhed
and
snapped
his teeth
at
the
thin
air,
periodically
roaring
something
semi- comprehensible
about
the
wolf
in
the
dress
.

“It’s nice having someone to help,” Melissa shouted. “I can’t get him into this position on my own.” She was perfectly calm, engrossed in the task at hand as if it was baking a cake or sewing a button on a shirt
.

“He’s very purple,” I yelled, nodding at Niall. “Yeah. That goes away, don’t worry about it.
”

I must have relaxed my grip then because his right hand broke free and, before I could even gasp, he’d grabbed the TV remote control from the cushion beside him and thrown it into the fireplace. The fire wasn’t lit, but that was hardly the point
.

“
Niall,
honey!
” Melissa cried. “
That’s
not
very
nice!
”

I caught his wrist again before he could do any more damage, but he clearly felt that he had scored a little victory; for a couple of seconds, the screaming was replaced by giggling. Then he screwed his face up into the same tight little knot of anger and went right back into it. God knows how long he would have kept it up for if he hadn’t been interrupted by his father’s return home
.

Colm
had
gone
into
his
office
to
“catch
up
on
some
paperwork”.
I’d
never
trusted
that
phrase.
It
always
sounded
so
obviously
bogus
to
me,
like
“I
walked
into
a
door”
or
“The cheque’s
in
the
post”.
I
assumed
that
Colm
had
been
doing
what
Gerry
did
when
he
used
those
words;
he’d
been
in
the pub,
watching
football
in
peace.
On
the
other
hand,
the
man
was
a
cardiologist.
For
all
I
knew,
he
was
drowning
in
life-or-
death
paperwork.
Either
way,
his
arrival
had
a
remarkable effect
on
his
son.
When
he
stuck
his
head
into
the
room,
it
was
as
if
Niall
had
been
suddenly
unplugged.
He
went
limp,
then stretched
and,
to
my
astonishment,
yawned
,
as
if
he’d
just
come
to
the
end
of
a
vigorous
but
enjoyable
work-out
.

“What’s going on here then?” Colm asked
.

“Usual,” Melissa said, arching her back. “I’ll put the kettle on.
”

“KETTLE!” Niall yelled and clapped his little hands in glee
.

“Yes!” Melissa said and tousled his hair. “Kettle!
”

Colm dropped his briefcase and sat down beside his son. “Were you being naughty?” he asked. Niall shook his head; Colm nodded his, then turned towards me and said, “So – how are you?
”

Apparently, the crisis was over
.

“I’m fine,” I said. “But I’m not sure about …” I nodded down at Niall
.

“Ah, he’s grand,” Colm said. “Aren’t you, soldier?” “I’m a GRAND,” Niall declared
.

“Tea or coffee?” Melissa asked and moved towards the kitchen. I got up and followed her
.

“Coffee for me,” Colm said cheerily
.

In the kitchen I closed the door behind me. “Uh …” Melissa turned to face me
.

“Is that it?” I asked
.

“Is what what?” she smiled. “With Niall …
”

“What do you mean?
”

“I mean … no discussion, nothing?” “Discussion?
”

“Well … don’t you think it’s something you should … investigate?
”

Her smile became fixed. “We’re used to it at this stage, Jackie. I know it looks alarming, but you saw for yourself – he snaps right out of it.
”

“But you’re the one who calls them ‘episodes’. You gave out to me a while back when I used the word ‘tantrum’.
”

She flapped a tea-towel. “That was ages ago. I was a bit panicked that day, that’s all. As I say – I’m used to them now.
”

“I know, but –
”

“There’s no need for a ‘but’, Jackie. Honestly.
”

I
regrouped
and
tried
again.
“There
doesn’t
seem
to
–” “You
know
what
it
is,”
Melissa
said,
folding
her
arms
(an
ominous
sign,
I
thought).
“You
haven’t
been
around
very young
kids
for
a
long
time.
You’ve
forgotten
what
it’s
like, that’s
all.
”

“I haven’t forgotten anything,” I said coldly. There was an uncomfortable silence. “Look,” I said then, “I don’t mean to be critical –
”

“So don’t be.” “I just think –
”

“Jackie. Let it go.
”

The words hung over us for a moment. “Okay,” I said slowly
.

“Good. Now – tea or coffee?
”

* * *

I had a sudden urge to cook that night. It had been a few days and I was missing it badly. Melissa wasn’t keen on the idea at first. She did a lot of (unconvincing) flapping about my status as a guest in her house, but I persisted. Eventually, she took me aside and confessed that she didn’t want me showing her up in front of her husband. I wasn’t sure how to react to that. Backing down, I thought, would be tantamount to saying
Yeah,
you’re
right,
I’m
much
better
than
you
are
–
you’d never
live
it
down
if
Colm
got
a
taste
of
my
cooking
. Digging my heels in, on the other hand, would make me look like an insensitive clod. I thought about it so hard and for so long that Melissa eventually took the decision out of my hands. If it meant that much to me, she sighed, I could go ahead – but I was to do my best to make mistakes. I spent a happy hour cobbling together a mushroom risotto and while it was far from my finest work, I was reasonably chuffed with the results. So was Colm. He started insisting that I write down exactly what I did for Melissa (he put great emphasis on the word “exactly”), but when she caught his eye, cleared her throat and raised her chin in one fluid movement, he suddenly seemed to lose his voice. Niall was impressed too. After much prompting from both parents, he gruffly allowed that his dinner was “a nice colour”
.