Authors: Alex Coleman
A thin squeal escaped me, followed by “Eddie! Are you out of your mind?” I jumped to my feet and grabbed my bag. It was only then that I realised what he meant. “Oh! Oh. You’re talking about the phone call.
”
He blinked at me, deep in shock. “The phone call, yes. What did you think I meant?
”
I sat back down again. “Y’know. I thought you meant … y’know . . .
”
He looked more shocked than I had felt. “
No!
No. No, that’s not what I meant. Oh God. No.
No
.
”
“So you want to practise the phone call?” “Yes. The phone call. Not … anything else.
”
“And you mean actually practise it, like a rehearsal? Not just talk about it?
”
“Like a rehearsal, exactly.
”
It sounded childish. But it sounded fun too. “Okay. I’m game. Do you want to start?
”
Eddie
made
a
fist,
then
stuck
out
his
thumb
and
little finger.
He
held
the
hand
up
to
his
ear
and
said,
“Ring,
ring!” The
urge
to
laugh
was
almost
overwhelming,
but
I resisted
it.
I
made
a
hand-phone
of
my
own
and
held
it
up
to
my
ear
.
“Hello,” I said. “Margaret speaking.
”
CHAPTER
14
When
I
got
back
to
the
house
and
Melissa
asked
me
how it
had
gone
with
Chrissy,
I
hesitated.
We
were
just starting
to
get
along.
If
I
told
her
what
had
happened,
there might
be
a
row.
I
couldn’t
imagine
her
being
very
impressed with
the
way
I’d
walked
out
on
my
crying
daughter.
On
the other
hand,
I
mused,
there
was
a
chance
for
further
bonding here.
I
was
the
one
who’d
been
offended,
after
all.
And
I
was the
one
having
the
crisis.
I
quickly
decided
that
it
was
worth the
risk.
We
sat
down
in
the
living
room
and
got
ourselves comfy
while
Niall
quietly
made
confetti
of
a
colouring
book
on
the rug
.
To
my
relief
and
delight,
Melissa
saw
my
side
of
the Arnotts
incident.
Chrissy
should
have
been
more
supportive. Chrissy
should
have
been
more
understanding.
Chrissy
should
have
been
more
sensitive.
This
was
a
ricochet
from her
own
reaction
on
Friday
–
I
understood
that
–
but
still,
I
lapped
it
up.
My
big
fear,
I
explained,
was
that
my
relationship
with
my
daughter
was
going
to
go
the
way
of
my relationship
with
my
son.
It
wasn’t
just
today.
I’d
also
learned that
she’d
been
pretending
to
share
my
low
opinion
of Robert’s
girlfriend
while
laughing
about
it
behind
my
back.
This
was
the
way
it
had
started
with
him:
small
disagreements,
small
deceptions.
Melissa
and
I
had
never talked
about
any
of
this,
naturally
enough
–
on
those
rare occasions
when
we
had
spoken,
I’d
thought
it
wise
to
stay
off the topic of feuds – but she’d been dimly aware that all was not
well.
Now
she
wanted
details.
I
started
with
Jemima, explaining
how
Robert
had
seemed
to
like
her
precisely because
I
didn’t.
Melissa
sympathised
and
probed
further. Go
back
to
the
beginning,
she
said,
back
to
the
first
sign
of trouble.
I
was
more
than
happy
to
oblige
.
“It’s hard to say when things started to go wrong,” I told her. “We just … I don’t know … We just seemed to start getting on each other’s nerves. Little rows, but lots of them.
”
“When was this?
”
I thought,
Funnily
enough,
it
was
around
the
time
you
and
I fell
out
. “Towards the end of his schooldays.”
“And what were the rows about?
”
“Well, lemme think. Steven Morris for one. He was this tiny wee guy from Dunshaughlin that Robert started hanging around with in sixth year. If you only saw a photo of him, you’d know you couldn’t trust him.
”
“Eyes too close together, were they?
”
“Yes! I know that sounds stupid, but …” I paused, aware that I wasn’t doing a very good hatchet job. “It wasn’t just the way he looked, it was the way he moved about too, all slippery and slidey and sneaky, like he was on castors. But mostly it was the way he acted, what-do-they-call-it … over- familiar. The first time I met him was in our house, in the kitchen. Robert pointed at me like I was a stain and said out of the corner of his mouth, ‘Steven, my mum, my mum, Steven.’ Your man slipped over towards me and said, ‘What’s your first name?’
”
“Ooh,” Melissa said. “Don’t like that.
”
“Neither did I. It’s Jackie, I told him, but Mrs O’Connell will do fine.
”
“You were just right.
”
“Made no difference. He always called me Jackie, every time. Actually, once or twice, it was Jackie O. I didn’t want to look like an old bat, so I let on I didn’t care.
”
“The tosser.
”
“That wasn’t the half of it. He used to help himself to biscuits
out
of
the
cupboard
.”
“Jesus.
”
“Honestly. One time I caught him walking out with our newspaper under his arm. He said he ‘thought we were finished with it’. I didn’t want to say to Robert, flat-out, that I thought his friend was a dick, but he knew I didn’t like him. So that was one thing. Steven Morris.
”
“What else?
”
“All
the
usual
suspects.
His
bloody
awful
music,
stupid
haircuts
he
got,
his
unbelievable
untidiness,
that
horrible earring
that
he
quickly
removed,
thank
God.
”
“But isn’t that always the way with teenagers?” Melissa said. “I’m sure Chrissy had the same faults.
”
“What are you getting at?” I said sharply – more sharply than I meant to
.
“Nothing.
”
“Are you trying –
”
“Nothing,
Jackie,
I
wasn’t
getting
at
anything.
Go
on.” “Listen,
even
if
I
did
give
out
to
Chrissy
about,
I
don’t
know,
the
state
of
her
room,
she’d
just
roll
her
eyes
and,
at worst,
mutter
something
under
her
breath.
Robert
would always
go
for
me,
screaming
and
roaring,
then
storm
off
and not
speak
to
me
for
a
few
days.
Then
there
was
the
famous hash
incident,
of
course.
”
“Tut-tut.
”
“Tut-tut
is
right.
This
was
in
the
summer
after
he
left
school.
There
was
already
tension
because
he
said
he
had
no
intention
of
going
to
third
level,
he
wanted
to
pursue
his
acting.
He’d
applied
to
a
few
courses
because
we’d
stood
over
him
and
made
him,
but
we
knew
he
wasn’t
going
to
go,
even
if
he
got
accepted
–
which,
later
on,
he
was.
Anyway,
I
was
cleaning
his
room
one
day
–
I
mean,
I
was
moving
the
piles
of
rubbish
about
–
he’d
go
mental
if
I
threw
anything
out
–
when
I
came
across
this
little
wooden
box.
Very
ornate,
nothing
like
you’d
expect
our
Robert
to
have.
I
opened
it
up,
not
snooping,
just
curious,
because
I
couldn’t
imagine
what
he
was
using
it
for.
And
inside
there
was
this
little
brown
lump
about
the
size
of
a
clove
of
garlic.
I
wouldn’t
have
known
what
it
was
if
there
hadn’t
been
a
packet
of
Rizlas
with
it.
Even
then,
it
took
me
a
minute
to
work
it
out.
I
showed
it
to
Gerry
and
he
hit
the
roof.
You
know
what
he’s
like
about
drugs.
”