The Boy Who Paints Me (3 page)

Chapter 2

I opened my eyes before pushing away from the door. I turned around and locked it, checking the handle twice before walking away. I always felt safe in this house but it was different this time because I knew that 
he
 was looking for me. I immediately smiled as I took in the smell of lavender all around me. Aunt Sarah’s house always smelled of lavender; she loved it. It reminded me so much of my childhood, of the days where I was free of pain. It reminded me of the days where I smiled just because I wanted to, instead of smiling to hide the pain.

I walked down the hall enjoying how bright the cream colored walls seemed. My home with my mom and Mitch was bright, yet it felt so dark, it never gave me this feeling. The house that we moved into - two years ago - was big, very big yet the compact feeling of this house, felt so much better. I stopped in front of the living room door, pushing it open slowly. It was like I had never left. The carpet was still dark blue and fluffy, the walls were covered in blue and yellow swirls that matched the drapes. Everything was still in the same place as it had been three years ago. The glass coffee table sat centrally in the room with a scented candle placed in the middle of it. To me, this was home, a home that I knew that I couldn’t get attached to, and that fact, broke my heart.

Shifting the negative thoughts out of my head, I stepped out of the living room, quietly closing the door behind me. Scanning the hall way, I decided that it was time to head upstairs. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t been here before, and that bus ride had left me in desperate need of a long, hot shower. After checking that the front door was locked – one more time – I headed up the stairs. I smiled as I noticed a picture of me, Mom and Aunt Sarah, hanging on the cream wall. We all looked so happy and content. The crazy thing was that we were only sat in her back yard, eating ice cream and catching some rays but it meant so much, compared to how things were now. I missed those days. We were all so different then; not now.

When I reached the top step, I headed to the room that Aunt Sarah had always referred to as mine. I smiled at the green door plate that had ‘Rainie’ written on it in thick white letters. I was glad that she hadn’t removed it. It meant that she hadn’t forgotten me which made me smile because I had never once forgotten her. She was the only reason that I made it through the last three years of my life. She had proved that the life that I had lived wasn’t the only kind of life that I could ever live; there was better out there or at least I hoped there was. I wasn’t sure whether the chances of a good life were over for me anymore but I would fight for it. It just hurt to know that that life couldn’t be here. Life here was limited.

I gently pushed the white door open, and felt an immediate warmth on my skin as the sun light broke through the blinds. Everything was exactly the way that I had left it. It was a tidy room so there wasn’t much to change but I could still see that it had been left untouched. The walls were a warm beige colour that seemed to compliment the fluffy, cream carpet. All the carpet in Aunt Sarah’s house was fluffy and so warm under your feet. It was a contrast to the cold, wooden floors that claimed every room in the house I had left behind. The room had a walk in closet and a small, white dresser with a mirror on top. Aunt Sarah liked to keep things simple. I walked over to the double bed that sat in the middle of the medium sized room, and let myself relax as I took a seat on the cream comforter. I slipped my bag from my shoulders and let it rest on the carpet. I took a deep breath while running my hands over my face and through my dark hair.

I stared at the black bag on the floor for several minutes, wondering how my life got so messed up. That black bag that lay on the floor before me was everything. I had nothing else left, no life, no nothing, just that black bag. After taking a deep breath and ignoring the self pity that was slowly creeping up on me, I reached down and unzipped the bag. I knew what I was looking for. I eyed the plastic, black bag that I had pulled out from the bottom of my bag and lay it on the bed, next to me. I had no intentions of unpacking my clothes like I usually would. If Mitch did find me before I got the chance to move on, then I needed to be prepared. I needed to know that I could grab this bag and run. Run, and never look back.

My attention homed back in on the plastic bag next to me as I pulled down the sides, so that I could peer inside. As the vision of the stacks of money hit me, I sighed in both relief and fear. This money was my life line but also the one thing that could cause me even more trouble, than just running away did. I knew that there was more than one hundred thousand dollars in there. Money like that always caused trouble. I pulled out a stack of cash before slipping it underneath my mattress. I tied the top of the plastic, black bag before pushing it back into the bottom of my bag again. I grabbed my bag in one hand and headed to the closet. Standing on my tip toes, I pushed the bag back, close enough to reach, but far enough not to be seen. I closed the door of the closet and slipped my hand into my back pocket.

I pulled my cell phone out, wishing that I could just get rid of it. I knew that I needed to contact Aunt Sarah so that wasn’t an option but I knew what I would find, once I switched it back on. I wasn’t surprised to see thirty five missed calls, seven voice messages and ten texts, all from Mitch. I cleared my screen, ignoring them all; I didn’t want to be reminded of him, ever again. Scrolling through my contacts, I searched for Aunt Sarah’s number and clicked call before I changed my mind.

I watched patiently as I heard the first ring. I had no idea what I was going to say but I thought that I had better let her know that I was here before Leighton did.

"Aunt Sarah?" I asked as her chirpy voice filled my ear.

“Rainie?” A surprised but familiar voice questioned.

“Yes,” I whispered, trying to hide the emotion in my voice. “Hey, Aunt Sarah.”

“Oh my gosh, it’s really you, isn’t it?” She beamed as I listened to the many emotions in her voice. “Is something wrong? Are you ok? Is your mom ok?” She asked frantically.

Everything’s wrong. 
“No, everything is fine,” I lied after taking a deep breath.

“Oh.” She sounded as though she was in shock. I understood, she hadn’t heard from us in three years and then here I was calling her randomly with no explanation.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t been in contact,” I whispered guiltily as I awaited her response.

“I know, I understand,” she said in a sympathetic voice. She didn’t truly understand but she knew that everything changed when my mom got involved with Mitch, and I guess she had learnt to accept that. “How are you?”

“Ok, I was calling because...erm...I’m at your place-”

“What? But I’m not there, I didn’t know that you were coming honey, are you sure that you are ok?” She asked in a panicked tone.

“Yes,” I lied. “I just missed seeing you, I wanted to spend some of the summer with you before I went off to college,” it wasn’t all a lie but I said what I had to. She would never really understand what I had become; she wouldn’t look at me the same way if I told her.

“I didn’t know; I’m so sorry. If you had called I wouldn’t have come here-”

“No, its ok,” I interrupted, “Leighton let me in...I’m ok.”

“Oh, thank God. Well, I’ll be on the first plane back in the morning-”

“No, don’t, please. Enjoy your holiday, I’ll be here when you get back,” I said, unsure if that statement was true. I hoped that it was.

“Is your mom with you?” I suddenly felt my stomach drop.

“No.”

“Where is she?”

I have no idea. 
“She stayed home, she had a lot of things to catch up on, sorry,” I could hear the unsteady sound of my voice and just hoped that she didn’t pick up on it.

“Oh, ok, well I’ll be back in a few days then. If you need anything, ask Leighton, he’s a good boy, you can trust him, he’ll take care of you until I get back, ok?” She asked. I nodded my head, forgetting that she couldn’t hear me
. One thing that I knew was that I could trust Aunt Sarah, so her telling me to trust Leighton made me feel a little better because trust was a big issue for me.

“Ok,” I finally muttered as I closed my eyes. “Thanks.”

“Ok, honey, you just stay safe, ok? And please, be there when I get back, I’ve really missed you,” she said in a slightly desperate tone.

“I promise,” I said, praying that I could keep that promise.

“Love you,” she whispered before the line went dead.

“Love you too,” I said to the empty air. I hated lying to her but I couldn’t drag her into my world. Someone as good as her didn’t deserve this world that I lived in. She didn’t deserve to find out what her sister had really become or what her niece was, she didn’t deserve that. I wouldn’t allow it even if that meant breaking a promise.

I was suddenly brought out of my daydream by a loud banging on the front door. I instantly felt the nerves shoot through my entire body as my hands began to shake. I could feel my hands becoming clammy and my breathing becoming irregular as I tried to figure out what to do. 
He 
had found me. I knew what to do in this situation, I had planned it out many times in my head; my escape plan, but my feet were frozen in place. As I tried to control my breathing another three knocks hit the door causing tears to sting the back of my eyes.

“Rai, it’s me, Leighton,” I heard as my eyes snapped in the direction of his voice.

Leighton? Not Mitch?

I felt my body instantly begin to relax as the realisation that Mitch hadn’t found me started to kick in. I wasn’t too sure whether or not I wanted to face Leighton either, he was a man too, and I knew what that meant in my world. Just as I had convinced myself to stay hidden and ignore him, I suddenly remembered Aunt Sarah’s words.

If you need anything, ask Leighton, he’s a good boy, you can trust him, he’ll take care of you...

I wasn’t sure if I could trust him yet but I trusted Aunt Sarah completely, so I walked down the stairs towards the door.

“Finally,” he said in a chirpy voice as he smiled at me. I stood still and silent as I looked back at him. “You ok?” He asked with a concerned expression on his face.

“Yeah,” I finally whispered as I allowed my eyes to make contact with his soft brown ones. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

“It’s ok, I just brought these over,” he said as he lifted the brown, paper grocery bag in his hand a little higher. “I know that there isn’t any food, since Sarah’s away so I picked up a few things up for you. I just picked out things that my Grandma would get, so I hope that it’s ok?” He asked as he stared at me.

"You live with your Grandma?" I asked without thinking.

"Yeah," he replied as he smiled at me. 

I wasn’t quite sure what to say. This was probably the nicest thing that someone had done for me in three years, and I had no idea how to show gratitude. I wasn’t used to kind gestures or nice words.

“Thanks,” I replied as I let a small smile slip onto my face. "For the groceries, I mean."

“No problem, so do you want me to put them in the kitchen for you?” He asked wearily.

“Erm...” I tried to avoid looking at him as the embarrassment finally kicked in. I tried to compose myself and keep repeating Aunt Sarah’s words. Maybe not all men were like the ones that Mitch introduced me to. Maybe some were genuinely nice – I hadn’t met one yet – but maybe. I took a deep breath before moving away from the door, so that I was a good distance from him. “Ok,” I whispered, nervously.

“Ok,” he repeated as he smiled at me.

I held my breath slightly as he passed me, keeping enough distant so that we wouldn’t touch as he walked past me. He was obviously familiar with the house since he didn’t ask me which way to go. I looked back at the door and wasn’t sure whether it was safer to leave it open or lock it. I don’t know why but something made me feel like I would be ok with Leighton so I closed it. He hadn’t done anything wrong when he let me in here earlier, so maybe he wouldn’t now.  I followed behind him cautiously as he entered the kitchen.