The Boy Who Paints Me (15 page)

* * *

The journey home was silent, and I was thankful. I didn’t want to go into detail about mine and Victoria’s conversation. 

“Right, this is your stop,” Layla said gently as we pulled up in front of Aunt Sarah’s house. I felt my stomach drop as I saw Leighton climb out of his car at the same time. “Do you want us to come in with you?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks, Layla,” I said as I slid out of the car.

“Hey,” Leighton beamed as he walked toward me with a smile on his face. He looked hurt as I walked away from him in silence. I pulled my keys out of my bag and ran up the steps toward the front door. “Rai?” He asked in a confused tone.

“Leighton, we need to talk,” Victoria shouted from behind him. He ignored her.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He asked as he gently grabbed my elbow just as I went to push the door open.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me, Rai,” he said gently as he searched my eyes.

I wanted to talk to him but I couldn’t. My body tingled like crazy, so I slipped my elbow out of his gasp and took a deep breath.

“Did I do something wrong last night?” He asked in confusion.

“No, I just need some space,” I lied. I didn’t need space, I needed him but I couldn’t. I caught a glimpse of Victoria with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot and my heart sank. She was perfect, I couldn’t compete with her. Leighton’s head swung in the direction of my eyes. When he turned back around to face me, he looked mad.

“Did she say something to you?” He asked angrily. I shook my head and looked down at the floor. “Rai,” he said as he lifted my chin with his finger and took a step closer to me. “Talk to me, please,” he whispered causing my entire body to feel like it was on fire.

“It doesn’t matter-“

“It does to me. Just talk to me.”

“No, Leighton, just go, please.”

“Rai?”

“Please,” I pleaded before he nodded his head and watched as I walked through the door. I let my back rest against the door as I took a deep breath. I tried to shut off the sound of Victoria’s words in my head but it was impossible. I ran up the stairs and into my room. I closed the door behind me and grabbed my iPod off the dresser. I slipped the earphones into my ears and searched for the one song that always made me feel better. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes as Alicia Keys’ voice filled my ears. ‘Caged Bird’ was a song that I understood every word of...intimately. Every time that I listened to it, it calmed me down and eased away the pain, just a little bit. I lay in silence listening to the words of the song, wondering if she understood just how much her words could mean to someone, just how much the story of the song meant to
me
. The song was me, I was the story of this song, and every time that I listened to it, it gave me hope. It gave me hope that somewhere, out there, someone else understood my pain, someone knew what it was like to feel alone and trapped. Somewhere out there, someone knew what it was like to feel like a prisoner to the world. Most of all it told me that one day, in my life, I wouldn’t have to be a caged bird anymore because one day, someone would open my cage, and let me spread my wings and fly away. One day....

That was the last thought in my head as I drifted off into a deep and hopeful sleep.

* * *

I was awoken by the sound of my phone beeping. I looked down at my hand where my iPod lay. The battery had died. I got up slowly as I pulled the earphones out of my ears and rested the iPod on the dresser. I pulled open the top drawer and slid my cell phone out, taking a deep breath. I wasn’t surprised when I saw a message from Mitch. I had been deleting them every day without reading them, pretending that they weren’t even there. Today was different; today I opened the message and let the words sink in....

I need you Rain...

His words made me feel sick and dirty. Those words were familiar, too familiar. I remember the last time that I ever heard those words....

It had been nearly two weeks since I had found my mom’s note, saying ‘sorry’ and nearly four weeks since she had disappeared. Nothing had changed, she hadn’t come back, and Mitch didn’t seem to care. I had been going through my escape plan in my head but something made me nervous. I was scared to leave; scared to get away in case I didn’t survive alone. I didn’t understand the world anymore; this was my world, wasn’t it? The thought that I may leave and she could come back, scared me. Maybe she was going to come back, and if I was gone then he would punish her, and it would all be my fault. She could live with him hurting me but could I live with him hurting her? He had me and that was all that mattered. She was right...I was his favourite but I would give anything not to be. I heard a gentle knock on my bedroom door. I knew that it was him.

“Come in,” I whispered, knowing that he didn’t really need my permission.

“Hey,” he said as he stared down at me, sat on my bed. He had a huge smile on his face as though he was about to break some good news. The only time that he smiled like that was when I was about to do him a huge ‘favor’. I felt sick. “I want to talk to you,” he said as he slipped through the door, closing it behind him. “Come here,” he said as he beaconed for me to come toward him. I walked slowly until I was stood in front of him. “I have a surprise for you,” he said as he searched my eyes as though he expected me to get excited or show gratitude.”Kind of a birthday present,” he beamed as he pulled me by the hand so that I was inches away from him.

I felt the sick rise to my throat, and I closed my eyes as I pushed it back down. “Open your eyes, Rain, it’s a good thing,” he said as he chuckled. If anyone was watching they would think that he was so nice and gentle but this wasn’t the real him. He did this with me but I had seen what he did to my mom and what he would – one day – do to me if I didn’t get away. “You turn eighteen in three days, Rain, do you have any idea what that means?” he asked excitedly.

I shook my head as I lifted my eyes to his face.

“No more favors, baby,” he chuckled as he pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I was in shock, I couldn’t speak because I wasn’t sure whether or not I had just imagined his last sentence or not. No more favors? Did that mean that he finally understood, he finally understood that what he was doing was wrong? Did he get a conscience, a wakeup call?

“I don’t understand?” I asked as I stepped away from him.

“Rain, do you know how much you mean to me?” He asked, looking in my eyes. I shook my head, not liking where the conversation was going. “I’m not like them others that you...you know, they like young girls, any girls, I’m not like them.” No, you just let them pay you to do it, I thought angrily. “I want you, believe me but I want you when you’re a woman. In three days you will be a woman, and you will be mine. There will be no more favors because I don’t want anyone touching what’s mine,” he said as he took a step closer to me.

I shook my head in confusion as the tears started to roll down my cheeks.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, baby, it’s going to be just fine. It’s going to be just you and me against the world. Do you know how long I have waited for this day? I’ve sat here and watched you change, Rain. I’ve watched your body change,” he said, raking his eyes over my breasts. “I’ve watched you changing, becoming a woman but I had to resist, I had to fight it. In three days that will all change. I can have what I’ve always wanted...you.”

“No,” I whispered as I stumbled backwards to get away from him.

“Yes,” he said as he grabbed a hold of my wrist and yanked me toward him. “I will not fight you on this, I always get what I want, and for the past three years I have wanted you and I will...have you. I need you, Rain,” He let his lips brush against my forehead before inhaling deeply. “Three days, princess, three days,” he said before walking out and leaving me feeling dirty.

I expected to cry like I usually would, to crumble on the floor and give up but I didn’t. Instead I just made up my mind that I was leaving...tonight and there was no way that I was ever coming back....

I heard a knocking at Aunt Sarah’s door, pulling me free from my own mind. It was then that I realised that my face was covered in tears. I didn’t panic, and I didn’t run away from it. Instead, I ran towards the knocking because I knew it. He always knocked the same way, three knocks first and two after. It was the rhythm that my heart was familiar with. The rhythm that made me feel hot and cold at the same time. I didn’t care that I had been crying or that I ran away from him earlier because I needed him. I needed to feel his touch. I needed him to make me feel better. I needed him to open up my cage and let me fly away...with him.

A panicked look filled his face as I opened the door.

“Rai, what’s the matter?” He asked as he stepped inside the house. I just stared at him. “Rai?” He asked as he took a step towards me.

“Just hold me,” I whispered as I looked into his eyes, “please.” He nodded his head, without saying another word. He took a step towards me and wrapped his hands around my waist, crushing me against his strong chest. I let my face sink into him but it wasn’t enough. I needed to feel him, I had to feel him...the real him. I took a step back and looked into his eyes. I watched the confusion dart across his face as a pained expression filled his face. I let my fingers play with the top button of his black shirt before slowly undoing it, then the next, and the next until I could see his flesh. I let my hand rest on his bare chest, feeling the warmth of his body as he stood, silently, watching me. I took a step forward until my face was buried in his flesh. It felt so warm and so good. I let out a sigh of relief as he wrapped his hands around my waist again, pulling me even closer than before. I listened to the fast pace of his heart as I let my eyes close. I inhaled his scent. It was so good, so calming to me.

I let him hold me, silently for ten minutes without moving. Even when I felt him lift me into his arms, I didn’t make a sound. I watched in silence as he kicked the door closed with his foot before leading us into the living room. He sat down slowly on the couch, cradling me in his arms as I just focused on keeping his body on mine. The way that his hand glided through my jet black hair, drove me crazy because it felt so incredibly good. I had no idea how I had ever lived without feeling it. I didn’t care what Victoria said, I couldn’t let her have him back...not now.

“I feel so safe with you,” I whispered into his chest. I felt his hand stop moving and his grip on me tighten.

“Then why were you running?” He asked. He sounded hurt. I took a deep breath as I slowly lifted my head until I could look into his eyes.

“She cheated on you?”

“Yeah,” he said after letting out a deep breath. I was silent. I didn’t know what to say. “I don’t want her, not anymore.”

“What if she hadn’t cheated?”

“It just became a habit, getting back together but I didn’t feel...”

“What?”

“This,” he said, pointing between me and him. “I’ve
never
felt this. I don’t know what it is but I’ve never felt it. I don’t want her, Rai, and I’m not going back,” he said as he smoothed a strand of hair behind my ear. “You cut your hair?” He asked, catching me off guard.

“You noticed that?” I asked, surprised. He nodded.

“I notice a lot of things about you, Rai,” he said as he chuckled to himself. “I don’t know what she said to you, and honestly, I don’t care. All I know is that you are driving me crazy, Rai. I think about you so much that it makes me dizzy.”

“Really?” I asked as a smile slipped onto my face.

“Really.” He said as he smiled at me. “Things have moved fast but I really don’t care. I don’t need to understand it or explain it...I just
need
to feel your lips on mine again,” he said as his thumb traced my bottom lip, very slowly.

“Ok,” I whispered as my cheeks started to burn. I watched as his eyes dropped to my mouth. I studied the way that his tongue slowly traced his bottom lip as he slowly moved his face closer to mine. His eyes fluttered closed as he stopped about an inch away from my lips making my body go insane as butterflies flew around like crazy.