The Book of the Unnamed Midwife (21 page)

She walked over to face the younger woman and raised her empty hands. “I promise you that you have nothing to fear from me. I’ll respect your boundaries and assist you any way that I can.”

Jodi nodded, crying harder.

“No tea, huh? How about cocoa? I’ve got that.”

“Sure.”

She made the cocoa on the hot stove, whipping it together with a fork. She brought it to the couch with a blanket and handed both to Jodi.

“Brother Dusty-“

The name startled her for a second. She had forgotten that was the one she had given them to call her.

Jodi sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “Brother Dusty, the month since you’ve been gone has been so awful. One of the missionaries sent to Nevada came back. Brother Danielson. His companion died on the road, but he brought back a wife.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. She was older, in her like late thirties I think. Brother Danielson said his companion had married them before he died. The elders argued about that, because missionaries aren’t allowed to marry people. But Brother Danielson said like they had prayed about it and it was the right thing to do. And she was already pregnant anyways.”

“That… might be good,” she said cautiously.

“Of course it was good, but there was all this fuss about it. She wasn’t a member, and she was black, and she was so much older than him. There were fights about whether the marriage was legit or if the baby would be born in covenant or not. Some of the brethren said the marriage should be annulled and she should be courted and choose someone or whatever, since she had only met two missionaries. It got freaking ugly. Brother Danielson ended up saying he’d kill anyone who tried to take his wife from him.

“But it didn’t matter anyways, because she was sick. We didn’t realize at first because she didn’t look sick. She was just like everyone else with the fever, no temperature for a long time and then suddenly super hot. She had joined the relief society and was helping us with the children. We got her away from them as soon as we figured it out, but it was too late. Everyone who hadn’t gotten sick the first time got it this time. Mikayla, Ben, and John all got it super fast. Mikayla was dead in three days but the boys held on a long time. They both died a few days ago. Patty had it before, she wasn’t sick at all.”

“Oh no. Not the kids. What about the women? Sister Everly and Sister Johannsen?”

“Sister Everly passed on. Sister Johannsen had it before, but she just about died taking care of the sick. But she couldn’t help it much. Elder Johannsen died right in front of her. Brother Danielson and his wife died alone in their house, nobody wanted to go to them. They blamed them for bringing it back.”

“So how many are left?”

“Bishop Comstock died, so Bishop Graves is in charge. There were twenty one people left when I ran away. But Bishop Graves is acting so weird.”

“Weird how?”

“He said he’s the prophet now. God’s telling him what to do. He married Patty.”

“Didn’t you say she was nine?”

Jodi nodded, tearful again. “He said she’s going to live in his house and learn to love him, but that he’ll hold her virginity sacred for seven years.”

“He’s a fucking prince.”

“Please don’t curse at me.” Jodi was still crying. “I’m just trying to tell you.”

“Ok. Ok, I’m sorry. Go on.”

“Sister Johannsen was remarried to Elder Sterling right away. I don’t even know if she wanted to, she’s been so sad since her husband died. But even then, with her as old as she is, there were fights about that, too. Every man in town wanted to marry her when her husband died. But then Bishop Graves turned on me. He said that my husband is never coming back, that God showed it to him. He said I needed to remarry, and suggested a few of the men to me. Brother Dusty, I just know Honus is alive. I would feel it if he died. I have his baby inside me, like I would know.”

Dusty nodded, not committing to saying anything.

“But he kept after me. Marry this guy, marry that guy. I told him, like I am still married. But they started showing up at my house all the time, bringing me presents, offering me special things. Promising me what good husbands they would be. I didn’t want to be mean to them, but it was like breaking my heart. I couldn’t cheat on Honus.”

“How far along are you?” Dusty looked at her belly, guessing six months at the most.

“Honus and I were married one hundred and eighty days ago, exactly. We were together for a week before he was sent out. So I’m like six months.”

Dusty nodded. “So you left to get away from all that?”

Jodi started to sob again, clutching up the blanket. “No, I left when the
 
Bishop said I would be married in a week to the man of his choosing, and that I was being stiff-necked and disobedient and I’d have to learn to submit. He issued like a proclamation that women would be given in marriage by their fathers or by the bishop from now on. Period. We don’t get to decide anymore.”

“I see.” Dusty was boiling with an old anger, it seemed as old as the world.

“I went to his wedding with Patty. We don’t have a temple, but they made do. She cried like the whole time. It was terrible. The guys all looked jealous or bored, but nobody seemed sorry for her. They were just like, ‘that’s how it is now.’” I tried to talk to Sister Johannsen… I guess she’s Sister Sterling now… I talked to her about it. She said it’s hard for Patty to understand because she’s just a little girl, but that I was grown up and I should know better.”

“Why didn’t they wait until the baby was born? Why so soon?”

Jodi choked a little laugh and shook her head. “They don’t know,” she said.

“What?”

“They don’t know I’m expecting. I’ve been wearing my sister’s old clothes that are super baggy on me and tying my apron really loose. I hid when I had morning sickness and I never told anyone. I lived alone in our house, mine and Honus’. I really wanted to tell the little girls, to tell them how like awesome it was to feel him kick and whatever. But I didn’t.”

“Unfuckingbelievable.”

“Why do you have such a potty mouth?” Jodi glared at her.

Everyone you know is dead, but let’s focus on my language.

“Are you really angry at cursing at a time like this? Look, it’s how people talk where I’m from. I’m sorry it offends you. I’ll try to keep it under control, but this is my house.”

Jodi appeared chastened. “Forgive me, Brother Dusty. I didn’t mean to challenge your authority.”

“Oh for fuck’s… heaven’s sake.” Dusty stood up and took Jodi’s empty cup. “You want another one?”

“Yes, thank you. Could I fix you something to eat?”

Dusty smiled, her back to the girl. “I think that’s your subservient way of saying you’re hungry. Am I right?” She glanced over her shoulder to see her reaction.

“No I just meant if you wanted… you don’t have anybody to cook for you. I can do that. I can clean, too, and like wash clothes. I really don’t want to go back. I will make myself useful and stuff if I can stay.”

Dusty put the kettle back on and turned around. “Of course you can stay. What kind of heartless psycho would turn a pregnant woman out into the snow? Stay as long as you want, and I’ll take care of you. I’ve been in labor and delivery for the last ten years. I want to ask you some questions, though.”

“Sure, whatever.” Jodi pulled the blanket up to her chin.

“Is this your first pregnancy?” Dusty poured out another cup of cocoa and put on two cans of soup.

“Of course it is. I told you, we just got married.”

“Of course. And you said ‘he.’ How do you know the baby’s sex?”

“I just have a feeling.”

“So you didn’t tell Dr. Beaumont you were pregnant, either.”

“No. I was afraid to.”

“Have you been taking prenatal vitamins or anything like that?”

“Yeah, I knew that was important. I took them from bishop’s storehouse, but nobody noticed. They’re in my coat.”

“Smart girl. Any bleeding or cramping?”

“No, huh uh, not at all.”

When the soup was steaming, she poured it into deep mugs and brought one to Jodi with her cocoa. She returned with her own and sat back down.

“Jodi, have you seen any babies born since the plague came through the first time?”

“No.” She set her mouth in a little pink purse. She knew what was coming, but her mind was already made up.

“But you heard about it? You know that a lot of babies are born sick and they… they don’t make it. You heard that, right? I’m not trying to scare you. I just want you to understand the risks of the situation.”

“That doesn’t matter,” she said firmly.
     

“Why is that?”

“Because there’s a new covenant. The prophet said so. Babies born into the new world and the new covenant will live.”

“Is that the same prophet who just married a nine year old girl?”

“No, like the real prophet in Salt Lake City.” Jodi looked like she was trying to explain something simple to someone very stupid. “He told all the bishops in his last message before we lost contact or whatever. Our babies are safe.”

How convenient.

“Ok. I will do the best I can for you and your child. I’ll help you any way I can. But I can’t do that unless you’re honest with me. Can you promise to tell me how you’re feeling and if anything changes?”

Jodi nodded.

“Alright. There’s a bedroom at the end of the hall that I think belonged to a teenage girl. It has its own small fireplace. I can start a fire in there, if you want to take it.”

“That’d be fine.”

* * * * *

Told her to be honest with me, but I’m not even trying to be honest with her. Let her figure it out or tell her? How weirded out is she going to be? Be better that she know I’m not going to try to fuck her, that I can examine her without her freaking out about it. She finds out on her own = might not be able to trust me afterward. Could take this fucking binder off. = = = = Have to tell her.

* * * * *

In the morning, Dusty had hardly slept. She had been nocturnal for too long. She got up anyway, relieved to have somebody to talk to. She found Jodi already at work.