The Bonding (14 page)

“Pregnant, huh?” Soren snorted in amusement. “That's unexpected. Those two are like rabbits.”

“No kidding. I'm afraid they're moving so fast they're going to end up hating each other, and then I'll have to deal with his broken heart again, and lose a prospective sister and friend. I wish they would slow down.”

“Sometimes life is just like that, Jaya,” he told her, as though explaining something to a child. “You meet someone and you just have to grab them with both hands and never let go. And when it does happen, you just plan to face the consequences as best you can. That's how it was for me and…”

“Don't tell me about that. I don't want to know.” Jaya jumped up and ran into the bedroom of their apartment, slamming the door.

No sooner had she settled onto their bed than the door burst open. “Jaya, you know you have nothing to cry about, right?” Soren demanded, crossing to her and gathering her into his arms.

The next morning, Davin walked Kiri to her class before heading off to the police station. He needed to get back to work if he was going to support his lady. As the two of them approached the familiar building, Kiri felt a thread of guilt. She had not showed up for class yesterday, nor had she informed Dori she wasn't coming. It was irresponsible of her. Davin seemed to sense her discomfort, because instead of taking her right inside, he stepped into the shadows outside the door and kissed her, hard and deep, giving her his tongue and making her light-headed. Then sent her through the door with a gentle pat on her backside and a semi-teasing reminder not to talk to strangers on the way home.

Inside the classroom, instead of taking a chair, Kiri walked through the room into Dori's office. The teacher looked up from her paperwork and scowled in displeasure. “Where were you yesterday? I expected better from you Kiri. You're old enough to make responsible decisions about your time, not to mention you set a terrible example for the younger girls. I thought you knew I needed to hear from you if you were going to miss class.”

“I apologize,” Kiri said sincerely. “I had an emergency. It won't happen again.”

“She's a liar,” came Juleena's caustic voice from the office doorway, “she skipped class so she could spend the day in bed with her boyfriend. Look at her…love bites on her neck, and she's even walking funny. Anyone could see she's been well-ploughed. Not to mention I just saw them making out outside the door.”

“That's quite enough out of you,” Dori told Juleena sharply. Then she turned to Kiri. “This had better never happen again.”

“It won't.”

She slunk to her chair and sat, trying hard to take in the lesson so she wouldn't miss anything else. It really was very interesting learning to use her magic. She was still surging frequently, but now she knew she was pregnant, it made more sense. The surges would stop after the baby was born.
Gods it's hard to concentrate
. She had so much on her mind…Davin, their baby, what would happen when he got home, everything. That was when Dori captured her attention by mentioning using magic as a weapon.

“Now girls, it is very important you remember you are only allowed to use magic to defend yourself, never to attack. If you have a disagreement with someone, talk it out, get a mediator, or stay away from that person. NEVER use magic to attack someone or the punishment will be severe.

“Isn't that what Davin does?” Kiri asked. “Arrest people who abuse others using their magic?”

“Yes, dear, that's exactly right. You might be good at that yourself. It would fit in well with your military training.”

“Hmm, I might think about that. I really like teaching though. I would love to teach girls and women how to defend themselves in emergency situations.”

“That's what fathers and husbands are for, dear.”

Kiri frowned. “Unfortunately, I had neither. I had to rely on myself. If I had known how to defend myself against a magical attack, my whole life might have been different.”

Dori regarded her with a raised eyebrow. “Well, I don't know what kind of market there would be around here for something like that.”

Kiri gave up.
This is not the time.
“Right. Tell us more about what kinds of weapons can be made using magic. Please.”

“Well anything you can imagine, you can make. The most common method is simply to gather up a ball of magic and throw it. If you hit your attacker, you can knock him or her down, maybe even short out their own magic for a moment, long enough to get away.”

“What if someone did that to you?” Krissy asked, eyes wide.

“You draw your magic around yourself like a shield. Cover your whole body.”

“That sounds a little clumsy,” Kiri said, “If I were attacked, I would want more targeted weapons.

“All you care about is weapons,” Juleena sneered. Kiri ignored her.

“That's enough girls,” Dori snapped. “You need to try it. Gather your magic into a ball and throw it at the target I have here.”

Kiri tried it, and abruptly released the ball.

“This weakens me,” she said, appalled. “How is this a useful weapon?”

“The goal is to get away, my dear,” Dori said, a bit of sarcasm dripping into her voice.

Kiri shook her head, frustrated. “The goal is to survive the attack,” she insisted. “This is not an effective weapon. Let me try something.”

Kiri concentrated hard for a moment and then drew her hand up from her hip in a familiar motion. A broadsword of pure light shone in her hand. On her opposite arm, a matching buckler appeared.

“This is much better. Now my magic stays with me, and I can direct it more precisely.”

“No, my dear, this are weapons of war, not of defense,” Dori protested. “Besides, to use them, you would have to get far too close to your attacker, making you vulnerable.”

Kiri let the sword and shield disappear. Her next attempt produced a crossbow.

“There. It throws away less of my magic, and it's much more targeted. I think I like this one.”

“You could kill someone with that!” Dori exclaimed.

“Anyone who attacks someone using magic deserves what they get.” Kiri's voice was very dark.

“I think we had better stop for today.” Dori said hastily. Kiri didn't hear. She was examining her latest creation, a throwing star.
Now this is magic I can understand. This has value.

“I can't believe you, slut.” Juleena had approached Kiri and was apparently working herself up to a tantrum, “You saunter in here, after missing class for no reason, reeking of sex, and all she tells you is not to do it again.”

Kiri scarcely listened. She was busy recreating another weapon out of magic. A dagger like a captive star shone in her hand. “You know,” she said calmly to the furious young woman, “You are a nasty individual. I've never done anything to you, and there's really no need for you to make comments about me. Please go away.”

“I won't,” Juleena snapped. “You don't belong here. You're old and ugly and scarred and that disgusting lover of yours is even worse. He belongs in prison.”

Kiri's eyes flashed. A wiser person would have backed down, but Juleena was not known for her wisdom.

“You should consider yourself thankful I am not your instructor,” Kiri said, her voice as sharp as glass, “I would have whipped you long since for insubordination. Luckily for you, Dori is more patient than she has to be with your tantrums. And you have no idea what you're talking about. Davin is the best man there is. He deserves respect, and I will see him treated with nothing less.” She lowered her voice to a dangerous pitch. “Now stand down before I make you.”

Juleena may not have been wise, but she wasn't stupid. She took her opportunity and ran for the door like a frightened rabbit.

“Kiri,” Dori said sharply, “come here.”

Kiri sighed and released her hold on her magic. She entered Dori's office. “Yes ma'am?”

“I can scarcely believe my ears. Did you just threaten that girl with whipping?”

Did I say that?
“No. I don't have that authority here. I only told her she needed to treat her elders with more respect.”

“You know, I think it may have been a mistake to bring you here,” the teacher said sadly. “This class is really meant to be for teenagers, to help them think about how to integrate their magic into their future.”

“I see your point,” Kiri conceded. “My future was determined when I was six years old. I've been training for the last two decades to fight. I don't really see how I can abandon that training completely. I'm thankful to you for teaching me the basics.”

“Yes, you learned well. I don't know what you are going to do with yourself Kiri Taconowa, but I think you will make your own way somehow.”

“Very well.” Kiri sighed. “But I would like to offer you a piece of advice…one teacher to another. Don't let her get away with it. She's a bully and needs to be put in her place.”

“That may be so, but it isn't your job to do it,” Dori replied, sounding less than pleased with the suggestion.

Kiri rolled her eyes. “It's hardly worth my time. I don't like her enough to care what she thinks of me.”

“Good bye Kiri. Good luck.” The teacher indicated the door.

“Thank you, Dori, for trying to teach me. I'm sorry I wasn't a more promising student.”

All the long way back to Davin's apartment, Kiri replayed the events of the morning. She looked at the situation from every angle and decided she had no regrets. She now knew how to keep from killing herself with her magic, had learned some about quelling surges, and had covered magical law. Beyond that, the rest really was up to her. She felt it was unlikely she would use her magic regularly; it just didn't fit in her life very well. She felt much more comfortable with a broadsword strapped to her hip. If only she could figure out what to do with her new circumstances.

About an hour after Kiri arrived at home, Davin joined her. She was surprised because he had told her not to expect her until evening, and it was only midafternoon.

“Hello baby,” he said, a little distractedly, “how was your day?”

“Fine. That was my last magic class. I don't need to go back anymore.”

“Really?” he asked. “Did something happen?”

“No. Dori and I talked and we decided together that it I had learned enough to keep myself out of trouble. The rest is up to me. I did learn to make a broadsword out of nothing, though, and that was very interesting. What about you?”

“I've lost my job.” His flat expression turned bleak.

“What? Why?” she demanded.

“Why do you think?” Davin's face twisted in frustration. “There's no way I can be responsible for magical law enforcement if I break the rules I'm sworn to uphold.”

“Will this never stop? Do I need to go and tell them…?” She started to rise from her seat.

Davin laid a restraining hand on her leg. “No. There's nothing you can do, Kiri. It's over. I expected this, honestly, but I had hoped…” he shook his head.

“You must really regret rescuing me.” Kiri said softly. “I know how much that job meant to you.”

“Kiri, no. That's not true at all. It's just a job. You are much more important to me than a job. I knew, when I took your magic, that this day would come. I chose you anyway. That's what you mean to me. I'll find other work somehow, and don't worry. I have quite a bit of savings, enough to get by for months, maybe a year if we're careful. That should be more than enough time.”

Kiri was thankful for his words, but she could see he still looked rather shaken. She slid her arms around him and held him close, her head against his chest. He hugged her hard.

“I'm not worried, Davin. I know everything will be fine.” But as Kiri thought about their baby, and all the expenses associated with its arrival, secretly she did worry

The next day, Davin walked into the apartment of healers, looking for Jaya. He wanted to talk to her before her shift started. Instead, as he traversed the long corridor of alcoves, he ran into Soren, literally.

“Oof. Hello, Davin.” Soren said, grasping him by the shoulders and setting him back a bit.

“Excuse me, Soren. Is Jaya here?”

“No, she's not feeling well today. Too many late nights at work. I made her stay home in bed. Can't have my best girl getting sick, can I?” He grinned.

Davin raised an eyebrow. “I'm glad you're looking after her welfare.”

“Naturally. Hey, I heard about your job. Sorry man. That's just rotten. No good deed goes unpunished, eh?”

Has he always been this nice to me?
“Thanks.” Davin remembered Kiri's suggestion that he have a discussion with his sister's partner. “Soren?”

“Yes?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have a moment?”

“Shockingly I do. What's up?”

“It's about Jaya.”

“Yes?” Soren waved his hand impatiently.
And no wonder. His free time is so limited. I'm sure he doesn't want to waste it just trying to get to the point.

So Davin got right to the point. “Exactly when do you plan to offer her your collar?”

“What?” Soren blinked hard and ran one big hand over his bare pate.

“I'm serious. You've been living with her for five years. That's more than enough time. As her brother, I want to know what you're up to.” Davin didn't see the kind of response he would have liked, so he pressed, being more aggressive. “Are you just playing games with her, or what? If you aren't going to marry her, you should let her go. She deserves better than to be the plaything of someone who doesn't value her.”

“I value her,” Soren protested. “I just don't want to marry again.”

“Then let her go.” Davin crossed his arms over his chest. “It's not fair to her that you have all the benefits of being married and she has none. There are other men who want her, younger men who would be willing to do the right thing by her.”

“She doesn't want to go,” Soren pointed out.

“I know. She wants you, the foolish girl, but are you really what is best for her? What does she get out of your relationship?”

“Great sex.”

“Please, she could get that from anyone.” Davin sneered, beginning to get angry.

Soren dropped his insouciance, as though sensing it was not going to work. “Don't forget, Davin, I've already been married. When Erica died, part of me died with her. I can't go through that kind of pain again.”

Davin snorted. “Do you think you are the only person who has ever suffered the loss of someone they love? Are you really that arrogant?”

Soren's craggy face tightened down into a threatening scowl. “You lost Kiri for all of, what, two weeks? Erica is dead. She's never coming back.”

Davin didn't back down an inch. “I wasn't talking about Kiri, you idiot. I was talking about my family. In one week I lost my father, my mother, and my sister. Listen, I know how much it hurts to lose people you love. I know how you just want to die, but you're alive, Soren. You didn't die, and it's been eight years. Move on, man.”

“You're hardly one to lecture me on the proper methods of grieving.” The big man glared.

Davin acquiesced to the accusation with an easy shrug, leaning against the whitewashed wall of the hallway with one shoulder. “You're right. I made some very inappropriate choices because of my losses. I regret them. But we're not talking about me. I abandoned that path when someone cared enough to point out I was ruining the rest of my life for no reason. Do you know who that person was?” Soren raised his eyebrows, which Davin took as an indication to continue. “It was Jaya. Don't forget, Soren, she lost her entire family too, and she was only a child at the time. Yet she has handled herself better than either of us. You have a good woman there, who loves you. What is it going to be, man? Life with Jaya or this living death you've chosen for yourself?”

Soren leveled Davin with a chilling glare and stalked away. He went into the small office where he filled out paperwork and sat at his desk, but his thoughts were far away. He had felt, more than once, that it wasn't quite right for him to be using Jaya this way.
Davin's right, she's one high-quality lady, and I'm lucky to have her, but is it really fair for me to keep her as his lover without ever committing my heart or his hand?
Dark memories of the agony of loss tore at the man, no less potent for all the years that had passed… or were they? Gingerly, he prodded at the pain and realized it felt much less intense than the last time he'd dared confront it. An old ache remained, deep in his soul, but the fresh anguish, the sharp, stabbing grief had somehow faded away, buried under years of images of a lusty, curvaceous blond whose sharp tongue always kept him on his toes.
Jaya is in my heart. Of course she is, but it isn't love. It can't be, can it?

No
. He shook his head.
I should let her go, let her find the love of her life, a man who can make her happy, not a used up old shell like me
. He tried to imagine her with another man, kissing him, making love, wearing his collar, having babies.
And I'll just continue existing without her.
The thought nearly tore him apart. Now the biting agony flared to life in his soul. He didn't want Jaya going to another man. He wanted her for himself. In fact, he realized, he had not succeeded in protecting himself from her anyway. She was already vital to his existence. He would grieve her loss just as much as he had Erica's. His reticence had only succeeded in making her unhappy. Damn Davin for interfering.

Stalking out of his office, he called to his assistant that he needed to take the day off, and headed downtown towards the bank where his vault was located.

* * *

Jaya awoke from an afternoon nap feeling something was strange. She heard sounds from the other part of the apartment that suggested Soren was home, but he should have been at work for hours more.

“Soren?” she called.

“Yes, love,” came the reply through the heavy bedroom door.

“Is everything all right?”

“Yes.” His voice sounded odd.

“Why are you home?”

“I wanted to see you. I missed you.”

He entered the bedroom and scooped Jaya up off the bed for a hot kiss, pulling off her clothing as he went.

Jaya loved this. He was a take-charge kind of man, and it really turned her on.

“Jaya,” he said, in his low intense voice, “do you remember the first time we had sex?”

“Yes. Of course.” The thought made moisture surge between her thighs.

“Let's do it again. Remind me how it started.”

I don't know what's gotten into him, but I like it.
“We were arguing over the care of a client.”

“Yes, that's right. You cussed me out.” He chuckled.

She shimmied up against him. “I thought you were going to hit me…you had been itching to for weeks. Instead you kissed me. You told me I was a bad girl, and you were going to teach me respect, but you didn't stop kissing me.”

“I couldn't. I had completely lost control of myself.” He gripped one full breast in his hand and tweaked the nipple.

Jaya squeaked, then moaned at the sharp stimulation. “So had I. I wanted to kill you, but I also wanted you never to stop kissing me. You kissed me and kissed me and then you opened my blouse.”

“You have the most beautiful breasts. Big and soft. My favorite.” He nuzzled into the deep cleft between and then kissed her hard and deep, just as he had done that day. He took hold of her nipples, squeezing and rolling until she was gasping with pleasure.

Jaya disengaged her mouth from his and managed to say, “You lifted my skirt, lowered my underwear and bent me over an examining table.”

“Hmmm,” Soren hummed, “the sofa might work.”

She leaned against the arm. He reached between her thighs and felt her lush wetness.

“You were so wet. Just like now. You couldn't get it fast enough.” He spread her honey over every fold, taking teasing swipes at her clitoris with his fingertips.

“Then you took me hard and deep, the way no virgin should ever be taken.”

He slid inside her. She made a soft little noise. “Your virginity was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. I couldn't believe it, but I couldn't stop either.”

“You hurt me real bad. I was sore for a week.”

“That didn't stop you from crawling into my bed over and over.”

He began to thrust hard inside her, just the way she liked it. Jaya closed her eyes and savored the sensation. Something cold ran over her breasts.
What nonsense is this man up to now?
He had pushed her limits so far already.

He pounded into her a couple more times and they orgasmed together, in a rush, wildly, two people perfectly suited to mate each other.

In the aftermath of their passion, Jaya looked down at herself, where the object was still touching her bosom, and gasped. It was a necklace of gold leaves on a twisted wire, accented with little green emeralds.

“What is this?” she asked, stunned.

“What do you think?” his voice was husky.

“Why?”

“It's time Jaya. I've taken advantage of you long enough. I know I'm not a great prospect, but the thought of giving you up just kills me. Do you think…you would be willing to…wear my collar?”

She gently opened the necklace and removed it.

“No, I can't, Soren.”

“Why?” He looked hurt, which confused her. “It's what you've wanted all these years, isn't it?”

“Soren,” she explained gently, “a collar is just a symbol. I don't need one if it doesn't represent anything. And as much as I care for you, I won't marry you, or even wear your collar just because it's 'time'. If…” her nerve failed for a moment. She steeled herself and then continued. “If you don't love me, then all this collar represents would be a lie. I won't live a lie. I love you. You never wanted me to, I know, but I couldn't help myself. And I won't marry you. It would kill me to love you day after day and know you don't love me back, that Erica is the only woman you will ever love. It is so sweet of you to think of my feelings, and I'm overwhelmed by the gesture, but I really can't accept it.”

Soren looked thoughtful. “I do love Erica, you know,” he told her. “I think I always will. She was my first love, and a damn fine woman. But she's gone. She's never coming back. Holding on to her does her no good, nor does in improve my life. It only hurts someone I never wanted to hurt. And you're wrong, Jaya. I do love you. You've helped me heal so much of my grief over the years. Can you share my heart with the memories a woman eight years dead? You can have the living part. I want you to wear my collar because I want to tell the world you are my love, my choice. Will you reconsider?”

Fat tears were rolling down Jaya's cheeks. “I never thought I would hear you say those words.” She slid her arms around Soren's neck. “I'll wear your collar if you love me.”

“I love you, Jaya.” He took the necklace and placed it on her throat again. It was long and hung right to the top of her deep cleavage. Soren kissed his betrothed's upturned lips, and then lifted her breasts and kissed them, on each side of the necklace. “Perfect,” he said. And then, for a long time, there was no further need for words.