The Blonde Before Christmas: a Barb Jackson Mysteries holiday short story (2 page)

An hour and a half, countless screaming children, and one tactical wristwatch later, Kelly and I found our way to the food court for a celebratory slushy.

I'm not sure what Kelly thought Mark, her musician boyfriend, was going to do with a tactical wristwatch. The closest he had ever come to roughing it was staying at Kelly's without his eighty different hair products, but that was none of my business, so again, I kept my mouth shut.

I plopped my purse down on the round tabletop and leaned back in my chair.

"This place is a madhouse. It's like within the last hour people have lost their minds or something." I shook my head and took a sip of my orange cream ICEE.

"Tell me about it," Kelly said and shook her head too. "I can't believe how many people are here and still pouring in. The mall's only open for another hour."

Our table was positioned at the edge of the food court. The main Christmas tree was clearly visible from our seats. A line of impatient children and their families extended from the red rope barrier, past the food court, and all the way back to the coffee shop by the main doors.

From the looks of the crowd, that red rope barrier wasn't going to keep those squirming little munchkins from bursting through and trampling Santa if he didn't arrive and get things moving along soon. Even his helpers were starting to look a little peeved.

"What's the holdup out there?" I asked and motioned to the tree. "Weren't they supposed to start the whole Santa meet and greet hours ago?"

"Yeah. At eight o'clock. I think that's what the flyer said anyway." Kelly squinted at the tree. "I'm not sure what's going on. A two-hour wait would drive me crazy. I can only imagine how those kids are feeling right about now. They certainly don't look very happy."

"Neither does anyone else in that line," I agreed and glanced down at my phone. "We should get out of here before this situation turns ugly."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Kelly frowned in the direction of the giant tree and still Santa Claus-less Christmas chair. "I'm supposed to meet Mark a little later anyway."

We stood, gathered our bags, and tossed our now-empty plastic cups in the nearest trash receptacle.

"Let's skirt around the rear of the tree and try to avoid that crowd as much as we possibly can," I said and led the way.

We passed a few security guards and a handful of shoppers who were trying to avoid the crowd the same as us.

We circled the tree and were headed for the exit and our freedom when something caught my eye. For some crazy reason, I felt the urge to look back.

Nothing seemed out of place at first, but when I looked closer, I noticed a couple of the fake, prop presents were a bit out of place. I turned fully toward the tree and took a step closer.

"Barb? What's the matter?" Kelly asked with concern.

"I'm not sure. Probably nothing but…" I shook my head and moved slowly toward the tree.

"What is it, Barb?" Kelly asked as she followed along behind me.

I peered around at the winter-wonderland scene then back at the misshapen presents that had caught my attention. The cotton snow spread across the ground was trampled down so that it wasn't as fluffy as the rest of the white stuff surrounding the tree. When I reached the red rope barrier that blocked the tree from being touched I stopped and squinted past the prop presents to beneath the tree.

That's when I saw it.

My eye landed on something poking out from beneath the tree. I squinted and leaned forward to get a better look, but once I realized what exactly I was looking at, I wished I'd ignored my instincts and just walked out of the exit when I had the chance.

"Is that…"

"A boot," I said. "And that's the rest of him." I nodded toward the body attached to the black boot.

Santa lay on his stomach with his arms down at his sides, but his head was twisted to the left. His eyes were still wide open as though he was looking directly at us, and his mouth was slightly agape. At first I'd thought that maybe Santa had had a little too much to drink and passed out under the tree, but the cuts and scratches all over his face and his vacant expression told me otherwise.

There was no doubt in my mind that the jolly, fat man was extremely dead.

"He's dead, isn't he?" Kelly leaned in and whispered hurriedly next to my ear.

I nodded and looked away, then turned my back to the scene beneath the tree so as to not draw any attention from the children waiting in line to meet their holiday hero.

"Go try to find a security guard or mall cop or something," I said quietly. "Tell him who we are and what we've found. I'll call the police. I don't want to draw any attention to dead Santa over there. Do you know how badly that would ruin Christmas for these kids?"

"What a nightmare," Kelly groaned. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She shook her head as she hurried away to find security.

She was right. This was one heck of a holiday discovery. I pinched my nose when I realized that I'd just sent Kelly in search of a competent mall cop.
Competent
being the key word. I remember locking my purse in my car a few months back. The lanky mall cop I'd found then had acted like he hadn't a clue what to do when all I'd really needed him to do was call a locksmith.

The fleeting image of Kelly leading Paul Blart on his Segway to the crime scene flitted through my mind, and I cringed.

I kept my back to the dead body beneath the tree with the hope that my body would block the view so no one else would spot poor, dead Santa. I was surprised that they hadn't already, but he was shoved under there pretty good. My spotting him had been a sheer stroke of bad luck.

I pulled my cell phone from my jeans pocket and dialed 9-1-1.

The dispatcher answered, took down the information, then told me that a squad car was on the way and to stay calm. The joke was on her. This wasn't my first dead body. The last dead guy I'd found was floating face down in a hotel pool when I was still training to be a private investigator, but that was a story for another day.

I thanked the dispatcher and hung up.

I spotted Kelly and a rather large, handsome security guard hurrying toward me. Not a mall cop. A security guard, thank goodness.

I had to blink to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

Nope.

Tall. Handsome. Security guard.

Score one for Kelly.

Once they reached me, the guard shook my hand. "I'm Eric Weidman of Weidman Security. We were hired on as extra help for the holiday season." That explained so much. Like why he was so calm, cool, collected, and
hot
, with his muscular build, salt and pepper hair, and dazzling blue eyes.

Did I mention that I have a thing for older men? "I'm Barb Jackson of Jackson Investigations. Pleased to meet you." I shook the man's hand.

"I don't want to alarm anyone," he continued, "especially all of those kids. Are you sure the guy is dead?" he asked in a hushed voice as he leaned close to me.

"Definitely." I nodded subtly at the tree behind me.

He nodded once then glanced over my shoulder again. "Oh, he's dead all right."

I raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief. Did he think I was kidding? Who made jokes about a dead guy under the Christmas tree?

He glanced behind me at the tree, then back to me. "Are you all right?"

"This isn't my first dead guy," I admitted. "And to be honest, he looks even deader than my last. I called the police, and a squad car is on its way."

He pressed a button on the radio attached to his shoulder. "It wasn't a joke," he said into the speaker. "We need to get all of these people out of here before someone else sees the body. I'm not into ruining Christmas for a bunch of little kids. The police are on their way, so let's clear this place out before they arrive."

The radio crackled to life. "We'll take care of it."

A few moments later, a rather rotund man with cocoa-colored skin hopped up onto the pedestal in front of the tree and waved his arms to get everyone's attention. He reminded me of the dad on that television show with Steve Urkel. It was the wrong time and place, but I couldn't help cracking a smile at the resemblance. 

"On behalf of everyone here at the East Wing Mall, I must apologize, but Winter Wonderland with Santa has been cancelled tonight due to unforeseen circumstances."

Using the term
unforeseen circumstance
to describe the dead Santa beneath the tree was a bit of an understatement, but whatever it took to get the innocent little tykes the hell out of the mall before their Christmas was ruined was just fine with me.

The truth is, and I'll deny it if you tell anyone because I have a tough-girl image to uphold, I have a slight, tiny really, weak spot for small children.

Especially around the holidays.

The little round man who I assumed was the mall supervisor waved his arms in an attempt to reclaim the crowd's attention, then continued.

"The mall will also be closing early tonight. In five minutes, to be exact."

The crowd booed and groaned their displeasure. I pictured this scene turning ugly really quickly. I hoped that the presence of the kids would keep tempers from flaring out of control.

Holiday shoppers don't play around. Especially on the eve of Christmas Eve.

The man held up one hand while he continued speaking. "We will post a time to meet Santa on the marquee sign outside beside the main doors tomorrow morning. Please pay for any purchases you might have, and make your way to the nearest exit. Thank you, and once again, we're extremely sorry for any inconvenience you have suffered. Merry Christmas."

The guy hopped down quickly and hurried away from the buzzing crowd. I watched as he approached a pair of security guards who quickly nodded in my general direction.

The crowd was in an uproar, making their frustrations known to anyone who would listen, but they were slowly making their way toward the exit. With any luck, the biggest part of the crowd would be gone before the cops, coroner, and crime scene investigators showed up.

"That went over better than I expected," Eric said. "I need to touch base with the rest of my guys and the supervisor. Will the two of you be all right?"

Kelly and I looked at each other and barely contained the urge to roll our eyes. We were women, not easily frightened little girls.

"I think we'll be fine," I said.

"The cops will be here any minute, and I'm sure they'll have questions, so we'll just hang out here between the Gap and dead Santa," Kelly agreed sarcastically.

Eric smiled and then walked away.

I'll admit it. I watched him walk away. He was a good-looking man, and I wasn't blind. So sue me.

"What do you think happened to him?" Kelly asked once we were alone.

"I don't have a clue," I said. "If it weren't for the cuts on his face, and assuming that he's the same Santa I saw in the parking lot downing a fifth of Jack Daniels while on my way to visit Mona this morning, I'd say he passed out under there and just never woke up."

"But the cotton snow and prop presents are kicked around, and you're right. He has a lot of cuts on his face. There's no way he found his way under there on his own," Kelly said and nibbled on her bottom lip.

"I agree. But who knows? This isn't our case."

A minute or so later four uniformed officers walked in and met up with the security guards. Kelly and I watched as they talked to the mall supervisor and security guard Eric. They all stared in our direction. There was a bunch of nodding and I'm assuming
uh-huhs
flying around if the expressions on the men's faces were of any indication.

The mall was pretty much clear of patrons. The only people that I could see left milling about were the security guards, shop owners closing up their businesses, and Santa's helpers in their green elf costumes with red-and-white striped stockings and pointy belled shoes. And, of course, the newly arrived police.

"Mandy's going to be glad she missed this." Kelly grinned at me.

"I don't know." I smirked. "Finding a dead guy might be preferable to her loud house guests. I know she loves her family, but they can get a little rowdy."

A little rowdy
was a major understatement where Mandy's family was concerned.

It was inching up on the ten o'clock mark. I had planned on binging on pizza and Christmas movies tonight. Instead I was standing around waiting on the police to ask their questions. I didn't see us getting home until the wee hours of the morning.

"And here they come," Kelly groaned. "I just hope we can get this over with before midnight."

I glanced over and spotted two of the uniformed officers approaching us. One was tall and thin, while the other was of average height and build.

"I'm Detective Alan Smith, and this is Officer Warskowski," the shorter guy said with the hint of a southern accent. "Are you the two who found the body?"

"Yes. I'm Barb Jackson, and this is my friend Kelly."