The Blame (13 page)

David skidded to a stop in the driveway. Noticing that the skid-steer loader wasn’t parked in its usual spot, he opened the garage door and leapt onto the quad bike, not bothering with his helmet. He’d tried calling Laura back a couple of times, but she hadn’t answered. He’d been frantic at her incomprehensible babbling. Dead man, frog pond, Bobcat? What the hell was going on?

He became increasingly wet as he made his way along the trail, his headlights bobbing up and down along the bumpy terrain. In his haste and anxiety, he gunned the bike on faster than was advisable, almost running one of the dogs over as they came running towards him.  Then he saw her lights up ahead through the trees; she was down by the pond, just as she’d said. But why, in God’s name? And if there had been a break-in, where were the police? Why hadn’t she called them yet? Everything was haywire today. His stomach curled up into a tight ball of dread.

“Laura!” He shouted at her, but she couldn’t hear him over the loader’s engine. He raced over and was astounded to see that the rocks they had painstakingly piled up a couple of weeks before, lay scattered on the ground, and a gaping hole was emerging where they had previously stood. The raindrops sparkled down to the ground in the loader’s headlights as Laura scraped the bucket backwards and forwards. Keeping an eye on the lifting arm, David came up beside the cab and waved to catch her attention. She glanced at him, muttered something and waved him away. Incredulous, he banged on the side of the cab and yelled at her to shut off the engine. Eventually, she did so.

David took her hand as she climbed stiffly out of the cab. “Laura! What’s going on? What are you doing?”

David gripped her by the shoulders and peered into her face. It was battered and bruised and she appeared to be shell-shocked; staring blankly past him and muttering to herself as she tried to walk past him.

“Look at me, Laura! Are you all right?”

“Stand aside. I’ve gotta hurry, it’ll be morning soon,” she said flatly, breaking free and hurrying to the largest boulder that was lying near the edge of the pond.

She bent over, and then, still crouching, shuffled backwards as she dragged something along the ground towards the hole that she had just dug open with the loader. David’s eyes opened wide; surely it couldn’t be...

“Laura! Wait!” he yelled in horror, brushing his wet hair out of his eyes. “Stop, what are you doing?”

Laura rolled the muddy body into the hole. It landed with a sickening plop that churned David’s stomach. “Who is he?” he asked in an incredulous whisper.

“I don’t know. He doesn’t have any ID on him,” replied Laura in a matter-of-fact voice, as though she buried bodies in her backyard all the time. “He’s probably Eastern European, though.”

“Jesus, Laura,” David whispered as he stared at the crumpled body in the hole. “Why are you doing this? Why haven’t you called the police?”

He looked at her poker-face in awe. What had happened to his wife to make her act so strangely? He barely recognized her. Her wet hair clung limply to her battered, mud-smeared face and her shirt front was soaked in what appeared to be blood. But it was the look in her eyes that filled him with dread.

“Baby, listen to me,” David said softly, cupping her face in his hands. Laura winced but he forced her to look at him. “We have to call the police. This is madness. You see that, don’t you?” David asked, seriously worried that she in fact didn’t. His wife seemed to have lost touch with reality; like a sleepwalker mechanically performing actions without consciously being aware of them.

“We have to hurry; we have to do this now. We don’t have a choice,” she muttered, eyes darting to the skid-steer loader.

“Laura! Stop it! Listen to me!” David shook her roughly by the shoulders until her eyes finally focussed on him; seemingly registering his presence for the first time. 

“David?”

He held her tightly as sobs racked her body. Her knees buckled and she sank to the ground, head hanging backwards, eyes closed.

And then she howled. A heart-wrenching howl that seemed to go on forever, making David feel powerless to ease her pain.

After what seemed like an eternity, Laura was finally able to relate to her incredulous husband what had happened.

“And that’s why we can’t involve the police.” Her teeth chattered so much that she could barely form the words through her clenched jaw.

Although totally stunned by the events that Laura had haltingly recounted, David felt relieved that his wife seemed to have overcome her state of shock.  However, she still shivered violently, as much from cold as from shock, forcing him to make a decision. One that he’d never dreamt that he’d ever be faced with, not in a million years.

“OK, baby. Don’t worry. It’s going to be all right. But now listen to me carefully.” He pulled her gently to her feet. “I want you to go home now, no, don’t argue. Just do as I say.”

He walked her back to the quad back and whistled for the dogs. “I know you’re scared, but you’ll catch your death out here. Take the dogs with you and go straight home. Leave all your clothes in the kitchen and have a hot bath. See to your cuts. I’ll be along as soon as I can.”

“David, I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice cracked.

“I know that, baby; but you’re not alone. You’ve got the girls, right? Take Bruna in with you, she’ll watch over you, OK?” David tried to sound calm and reassuring, and hoped that she wouldn’t see how scared he really was.

Laura nodded stiffly but made no move to get on the bike. “But what about...”  Her voice trailed off.

“I’ll take care of it,” David replied, pushing her onto the quad bike. “Off you go now.”

“Bruna, Mia, Lola,
casa
!”  David ordered the dogs home as Laura started up the bike and slowly turned it round, obviously loathe to head off into the starless darkness of the woodland.

***

By the time David got back to the villa, he was physically and emotionally exhausted. Although this extreme incident had put all thoughts of Laura's betrayal out of his mind, the shock brought on by the day's events was beginning to take its toll on him.

"Laura, it's me," he called as he pulled off his muddy shoes in the hallway. "Where are you?" He turned as he heard Bruna’s nails clipping along on the floor. He ruffled her head and let her out. Every single light in the house was on, but there was no sign of Laura. He called out again.

Silence.

With a growing sense of unease, he headed for the master bedroom. He could hear the shower running, and pushed the bathroom door open.

"Laura?" he called softly, peering through the dense cloud of steam that filled the bathroom.

"Oh, my God!" he exclaimed, his heart thudding at a record-breaking rate.

She lay naked on the bathroom floor, curled up into a ball as though trying to disappear into herself.

He reached into the stall and quickly turned off the tap, getting his shirt wetter still. Impatiently, he tore it off and flung it on the floor. Then he knelt down beside her and cradled her in his arms, brushing her wet hair from her face and wrapping her bathrobe around her. In the merciless bathroom light, the injuries to her face and hands were painfully obvious; she looked as if she had just walked away from a plane crash. He cringed when he saw the ugly bruise that was starting to form around her throat.

"Come on, baby, let me help you up."

He sat her down on the toilet and opened the cabinet under the double washbasins. Taking out the hairdryer, some cotton-wool and some ointment, he proceeded to dry her hair and see to her cuts and bruises. The fruity fragrance of her shampoo jarred with her battered appearance. All the while she sat limply, eyes shut, flinching as the ointment stung her flesh.

When he had cleaned her up as best as he could, he led her to the bed and helped her in.

"I'm just going downstairs to get you a cup of tea and some Ibrupofen, okay?"

She nodded weakly and sank back into the pillows.

A few minutes later, David was back with some sweet tea and biscuits.

"Here, take this pill. It'll take the pain away, but you shouldn't take it on an empty stomach. Have a biscuit or two."

Laura declined the biscuits but sipped the hot drink gratefully.

"Are you feeling a bit better now?"

Laura nodded slowly, still too dazed to notice David didn’t look too good himself.

"Yes, I think so, but what about ..... " her voice trailed off.

"Shh. Don't worry about anything now. It's all taken care of. Just try to get some sleep."

"All right. I feel exhausted. I'm going to try and sleep. Can you sit with me for a while?"

David stroked her hair gently. "Of course."

"David?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

He didn't reply. He felt dangerously close to tears.

As soon as Laura had drifted off, David went back into the bathroom and took a long hot shower, hoping that it would wash away the tension and the fatigue that now threatened to overcome him. As he stood under the blast of hot water, he made a mental checklist of what had to be done. Thank God for shows like CSI, he thought. Granted, it was just fiction but, nevertheless, it alerted him to potential pitfalls should they ever come under suspicion

He put on a tracksuit and bundled the clothes he and Laura had discarded in a bath towel and headed downstairs to the kitchen where he picked up her boots. Arms laden, he struggled with an umbrella as he dashed across the courtyard and unlocked the cottage door. He then dumped his bundle on the floor while he built a fire in the living room. As soon as it was blazing strongly, he fed the items of clothes in, being careful not to kill the fire. When he was satisfied that his goal would be safely accomplished, he let himself out and headed back to the villa. The rain was falling softly but steadily, and would undoubtedly wash away any traces of blood on the Bobcat and the dogs. From the laundry, he retrieved a bottle of bleach and went back to the master suite where he proceeded to make sure that any evidence was eliminated.

It was almost dawn by the time he had double-checked everything and locked up. Wearily, he eased himself onto the bed carefully so as not to wake Laura up, and promptly fell asleep.

Laura couldn't make out why she felt so sore. She brought a hand up to her face, felt the swollen lip and then it hit her.

Hard.

She struggled to sit up, breathless and wild-eyed, making David stir beside her.

"Laura, it's okay. I'm here. No one's gonna hurt you."

She sobbed quietly. "Why couldn't it have been a nightmare? Why does it have to be real?"

"Shh. It was a dream, that's all. A bad dream, but we've made it go away. And we are going to forget all about it. We aren't going to let this ruin our lives. Okay?"

She nodded slowly. "Do you really think we can?"

"Sure, we can. And we will. It might not be easy, but we have to be able to. For Vanessa's sake."

“I don’t know, David,” Laura croaked. She felt like an invisible vice had her by the throat. Her chest would surely be crushed by the weight of the terrible knowledge that was seared forever in her heart.  

David put his hands on her shoulders and said in a firm voice: “Laura, we have no choice. There’s no turning back now. We are committed to the decision we made last night. Do you understand?”

She nodded weakly.

He looked at her earnestly. "How are you feeling? Can you get up?"

"Yes. I'm all right. Just stiff and sore but it'll pass. How does my face look?"

"Not too good, I' m afraid. We're going to have to come up with an excuse...."

"We have to pick Vanessa up today. I told Sara that I'd pick her up at around seven this evening."

"That's fine, it gives us some time to get organized; to put a plausible story together. It's a good job you don't have to go into work tomorrow..."

His voice trailed off. Her job currently held painful associations for him.

"David, we have to talk about this."

"Yes, but it's probably not the best time now."

"It'll never be the right time, but we have to clear the air between us if we're going to be able to get through this together."

David took a deep breath. "Why, Laura? Why did you have to do it? I know that things haven't always been fantastic between us lately, but to jump into bed with some guy..."

"It's not as though I planned it, you know. I guess I was just feeling lonely and in need of someone who was in tune with my way of thinking."

"Wait a minute. Doesn't the role of the misunderstood spouse usually go to the husband?"

"Oh, David. I know it sounds like a cliché but maybe that's why they exist. To describe real, everyday things. Maybe it doesn't seem so important to you, but it is to me. Having someone who's on the same page; someone who not only understands our reasoning and actions, but actually approves of them."

"Meaning that I don't?"

"Well, that's exactly the problem—the fact that you don't see it. This renovation has really brought out the differences between us. Where I see a challenge, you see an obstacle. Where I see an outrage that must be addressed, you turn a blind eye. And what's more, not only do you not support me, you actually criticize me for all my endeavours. Endeavours that are on behalf of this family!"

"I know that. Of course I know that. But it's just not worth doing battle over every perceived injustice..."

"David! We're not talking about perceived injustices here! We're talking about blatant corruption or gross incompetence! When basic utilities that we are paying for aren't up to standard, or when the quality of the products and services that we have paid for aren't up to scratch, how can you just take it lying down? I can't accept that. Nor can I respect someone who does and I need a partner that I can relate to, someone that I feel is my equal...."

Silence ensued while David took it all in and Laura regained her breath.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I never meant to condemn your actions. Ultimately, I know that you're right. It's just that when I come home, I want to be able to relax and enjoy being with my family, and not have to deal with yet another problem."

"And I don't? But making like an ostrich isn't gonna make things right."

"I know, Laura, and I' m sorry for not having been there for you all these months. I guess I never really thought about it from your point of view. It just seemed to me that you were always looking for conflicts..."

"Yeah, right, David, you should know me better than that. That's not who I am. You see, that's exactly what I mean—you just don't understand. There was a time when we were in perfect sync on everything...."

"We still are on most things, but I see that I have been really unfair and unsupportive of you. Maybe it's a cultural thing. For historical and political reasons, we aren't used to being as proactive and demanding as you. But I promise you that I'm going to try and change."

She squeezed his hand, grateful that she had been able to make him understand, and sorry for not having tried to explain her feelings to him earlier.

"What about him? How does that stand?"

"It's over, David. It was just a one-time thing that failed to make me feel the way I thought it would. Maybe at the end of the day, what this really boils down to is a midlife crisis. The tension between us coupled with a yearning for romance and excitement....”

“I can’t believe that you’d take this step so lightly, though. After all, it’s not as though you’re the only one who is faced with these temptations, you know. I just don’t act on them, that’s all.”

“Can you live with this? Put it behind us?”

“I don’t know, Laura. I don’t think that I can forget about it, and it sure makes me feel sore as hell right now. But I do know that I don’t want to lose you, to break up our family, so we’ll just have to take it one day at a time. And now with this other thing....”

“Oh, David. Why us? Why?”

They held each other and wept until they had no more tears to shed.

***

"I've just spoken to Sara," said Laura as David came in from feeding the dogs. "She knows me well enough to know that something is off, and last night I told her that we'd had a fight and that you'd packed a bag and left."

“You didn’t tell her why, did you?”

“No, of course not.”

“I know how close you two are but I’d sooner you didn’t share this with her. The role of the cuckolded husband is not one that I relish.” A trace of bitterness seeped in. “As for this other mess that you got us into...”

“What?  What did you say? Now it’s my fault that some maniac attacked me? If you hadn’t insisted on keeping the dogs locked up, he would never even have dreamt of trespassing, never mind raping me!”

“And if you’d kept your pants on, I would have been home to protect you!”

They glared at each other hurt, anger and shock mixing to form a volatile cocktail which threatened to shatter any chance of reconciliation. Laura turned and headed for the kitchen so that David wouldn’t see the tears streaming down her face.
It’s no good
, she thought.
He’ll never forgive me; he’ll just keep throwing this in my face every chance he gets.

As she inserted a capsule into the coffee machine, David came up beside her.

“I’m sorry. It’s more difficult than I thought. You’re just gonna have to give me some time, okay?”

She clamped her lips together to stop them from quivering and nodded up at him. He looked intently at her, nodded back, then turned on his heel and walked out of the front door.

A few moments later Laura heard him roar off on the quad bike. She guessed that he’d gone to check on their handiwork now that it was daylight. This made her stomach churn. How in God’s name could they possibly overcome this? Could she manage to go on living there knowing the dreadful secret that lay buried on the grounds? Should they sell up? No, that would probably be even riskier. Oh, God! What were they going to do? She felt nausea rising up and, clamping a hand over her mouth, dashed for the bathroom where she retched until her muscles ached.

She was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of tea when David returned. He pulled out a chair and sat down opposite her. They looked wordlessly at each other for a few moments, and then he reached out and took her hand in his.  Laura battled with a fresh onslaught of tears.

“I went down to the pond.  You know, to make sure that, uh, that everything is okay. Last night I actually added a few more boulders so that the dogs wouldn’t ... well, you know.”

“Are you sure?
Senhor
Manuel will be taking the Bobcat back this week so we won’t be able to do any more heavy-duty landscaping.”

“Yes, it’s solid. I tested the boulders and they won’t budge. It actually looks really nice. And it’s in keeping with our original plan for the pond so there’s no reason for it to raise any questions.”

Laura shook her head. “I don’t know if we can live with this.”

“Well, we don’t have a choice now, so that’s that. And if parents can survive the death of a child and move on, then we can overcome this, too. It takes time, that’s all.”

It sounded like a well-rehearsed mantra that he’d been repeating to himself all day, in order to convince himself that it was so.

“What are we going to say to people when they see my face?”

“Well, you’d best lie low for a while and we’ll tell Vanessa, Sara and
Dona
Maria that you took a tumble off the quad bike. There’s no reason for them to doubt it as long as you hide the bruise on your neck.”

“Okay. Will you pick Vanessa up, then?”

“Yes, and I’ll drop her off at school tomorrow so there’s no reason for you to leave the house. And the less you say to
Dona
Maria tomorrow, the better. That way you avoid contradictions in your story. Just tell her you fell of the bike in the driveway and that you hurt yourself on the gravel.”

“All right.”

“And, Laura, one more thing. Make sure that that your friend knows that your little fling is over.”

“It is over, I told you.”

“It might be for you but he sure as hell didn’t seem to think so.”

“I’ll speak to him.”

“You do that. One last time, because this ends here and now.”

A mute nod.

Laura took her cell phone out onto the patio and dialled Hugo’s number. He picked up almost immediately.

“Laura.”

“Hugo. We have to... There’s something I have to say to you.”

“Yes, of course. There are many things we have to discuss. When can I see you?”

“Hugo, I’m calling to say goodbye. I won’t be seeing to you again.”

“Come on, Laura, don’t be so melodramatic! Of course we’ll see each other— we work together, for Chrissake!”

“No, Hugo. I won’t be consulting for Delta anymore.”

“But why ever not? Surely our personal relationship isn’t going to get in the way of our professional one?”

“He knows about us, Hugo. David saw us at the shopping centre yesterday.”

“Damn it! But, wait a minute, there was nothing really to see, you...”

“He’s not stupid, Hugo. I couldn’t bluff my way out of it and now I don’t have a choice. I can’t see you again. It wouldn’t be fair to him.”

“Well, what about me? It’s certainly not fair to me! I’ve turned my life around for you, Laura. I want us to be together. You can leave him and...”

“No, Hugo. I have a young daughter who needs me and I don’t want to be the one that breaks up this family. I have to give my marriage another shot.”

“I love you, Laura. I really do.”

“I’m sorry, Hugo. I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you have.  Well, you know where to find me.”

And he severed the connection.