The Black Mage: Apprentice (19 page)

"Ryiah!" Ella had arrived late to lunch and
she was frowning. "You promised you would let me help you get ready
for the solstice tonight – why are you still eating?"

That was today?
I stared at her,
horrified. I could not believe we had been at the Academy for
almost three months.

"Come you." She grabbed my arm, dragging me
away from the table to begin our elaborate dress. "You'll have
plenty of time to flirt with Ian tonight."

****

Ella and I descended down the ballroom stair
and I felt like royalty. "You want to look beautiful for the boy
who loves you," was her justification for the dress that had cost
me three month's apprentice wages. "You can always wear it when you
are at court as a visiting mage. You'll need something fancy that
goes with your new status." I shouldn't have listened. But the
second we had entered the dressmaker's shop in Langli I had
forgotten any protests I had.

Now I was entering the Academy ballroom in a
sweeping dress fit for a princess with my hair done in long, soft
curls - quite the opposite of current fashion but undeniably
stunning in the mirror once I had seen Ella's creation. I didn't
have any costly gems to adorn it like Priscilla and some of the
other highborn girls, but I didn't need them – my scarlet red hair
was enough of an accessory.

My dress was a striking maroon, a giant silk
skirt with gold tissue-thin gauze beneath that sparkled whenever
the light caught its movement. There were small gold-embroidered
blossoms at the corset that flowered out into a deep, swooping
neckline. It was a dress that up until my apprenticeship I had only
dreamed of owning.

A sneering voice caught me as I reached the
end of the stair. "Are you really wearing the dreadful thing
without sleeves?"

I blushed. The dressmaker hadn't had quite
enough time to finish the dress in the port, and after seeing the
silhouette without I had decided to leave it unfinished. "I like it
this way."

"You shouldn't. Only lowborn wenches expose
their arms."

Ella stepped in to defend me against
Priscilla. "We expose our arms every day in practice. Why should it
matter while she's wearing a dress?"

"It's an insult to all highborns."

Ella rolled her eyes and then noticed Darren
standing next to his betrothed. He had remained oddly quiet
throughout the entire conversation. "Darren, you're a prince, is
Ryiah's new fashion offending you?"

His eyes met mine and I thought I would die
from the wait. He didn't say anything and I only grew more
uncomfortable.

Ella sighed. "Well, it doesn't matter what
either of you think. The court was wearing dead birds in their hair
five years ago so clearly fashion is
very
subjective." She
hooked her arm in mine, steering me away from the awkward
silence.

When we met up with our escorts the boys'
jaws dropped and when they finally seemed capable of talk they
rushed off to bring us our drinks for the evening.

"Now that is how you greet a lady," Ella
remarked, approvingly. Alex couldn't seem to look at her without
blushing, and Ian kept staring until I thought I would crawl out of
my skin.

Finally Ian overcame his shock and pulled me
to the side, grinning wickedly down at me. "Do you remember how we
met, Ryiah?"

I blushed. "Of course, you were so charming.
You told me everything I wanted to hear."

"And then I kissed your hand for luck."

"And I said you'd probably done that to all
the young ladies."

"And I told you it didn't make my gesture any
less sincere."

I smiled up at him. "You always were a
charmer. I can't believe I fell for you."

Ian glanced around the room to make sure the
masters were occupied. Then he swiftly lifted my chin and kissed me
– ignoring the shocked gasps around us as he pulled me into a long,
ardent embrace. When he was done he released me with a chuckle.
"Should have tried that when I met you."

I elbowed him, still a bit dizzy from the
kiss. "I would have slapped you."

"It would have been worth it." Ian took me by
the hand. "Are you ready to dance, my lady? And you can't use the
same excuse you used when we met – I know Ella has been secretly
teaching you the steps."

I giggled. "Then I guess I have no
choice."

****

After many fast-paced dances with Ian the two
of us returned to the benches where he brought back some
refreshment. Alex and Ella joined us shortly after. I had just
reached for my second glass when a shadow darkened the hand I was
using to pour.

"Have you retired for the evening?"

My hand jerked and part of my juice spilled
onto the floor – narrowly avoiding the hem of my dress. I looked up
to find Darren watching me.

"Darren," Ian greeted the prince
enthusiastically. The two of them were back to friendly terms after
my public acceptance of his apology in camp. "Care to join us?"

Darren gave Ian a small smile. "No, I'm
afraid I came here with a different purpose in mind."

"What a shame." Alex didn't look disappointed
at all. "Well, then if you don't want to spend time with us maybe
you can ask my sister to dance since-" He paused dramatically.
"-She. Forgives.
You
." My twin burst into hysterical
hoots.

I felt my face go up in flames as I glared at
my brother – and Ian, who was no better, shaking and trying very
hard not to laugh at my brother's joke.

"Your brother does make a good point."

My eyes shot to Darren whose eyes hadn't left
my face. "Would you like to dance, Ryiah?"

"I." I froze, looking to Ian and Alex who
were too busy laughing, and then Ella, who was too busy trying to
get the stain out of her skirts from when Alex had knocked over his
juice.

I swallowed. I wanted very much to say
no…

But there was another part of me that wanted
to say yes. It knew better, of course, but it was screaming too
loudly to care.
Yes, yes, yes.
It was an idiotic, foolish
notion – but it wouldn't go away.

You are going to regret this
, the sane
part of me warned.

I stood and let Darren lead, my hand in the
nook of his arm as he led me to the center of the ballroom floor.
People automatically parted in the wake of the prince and granted
us extra space as was the custom for royalty. I was unaware of all
the faces staring; my eyes were glued to the prince as he put one
arm on my waist and reached up to put my hand on his shoulder.

"What dance is this?" I mumbled. The music
hadn't started but I knew instinctively that Ella hadn't taught me
the steps to the one he was about to begin.

"Don't worry," he said quietly, "I won't mind
if you step on my feet."

All at once the music began and I didn't
bother to wonder at how the musicians had timed their play to begin
exactly when he moved my arm. I didn't stop to think about how
everyone else was quiet, how the room seemed to sparkle and glow in
a heady gold light as he led me forward and back. All I was aware
of was his palm on the small of my back and the way my skin burned
hot beneath the dress as we moved.

Darren's second hand held mine in the air,
and as we continued to travel across the floor it seemed so
perfect, so easy for him to lead me through the series of fast and
slow steps. And it felt right. It felt impossibly, ridiculously
right
.

The corner of his lip twitched. "I hope you
didn't mind my asking you."

"Why would I mind?" I was distracted by his
mouth.

Stop staring, Ryiah.

"You've been avoiding me."

I stumbled and tripped – but Darren caught me
and turned it into a low, swooping dip. "I take back what I said to
you about that dress in Mahj." He paused. "You should never take
this one off."

I forced myself to swallow. "T-that's not
very practical."

Darren brought me higher and held me upright,
not moving, as he said, "There is nothing practical about the way
you look tonight, Ryiah."

You are with Ian.
I kept my eyes on
the ground.
Ian. Ian...

"Why are you saying this?" I had no memory of
the dance. I let Darren spin and twirl me around the room lost in
the beat of my thundering pulse.

The prince stiffened. "Because I am a fool...
And you look beautiful. And I-" Darren made himself look at me. My
heart stopped. "I just thought you should know."

Not Darren
, I told myself repeatedly,
desperately.
Anyone but Darren
.

"In Devon." I couldn't stop myself. "What did
your brother say to you?"

The prince's jaw set. "Don't ask me something
you don't really want the answer to." He dipped me again and when
he pulled me to him his face was guarded. "Thank you for dancing
with me, Ryiah. Even if you didn't want to."

Darren released me and I caught the scent
wafting from his shirt – a mixture of pine and cloves that smelled
so much like my home in Demsh'aa it brought tears to my eyes. But
it wasn't just his smell, as soon as he released me I felt cold and
numb and… empty.

I watched Darren walk away, cutting through
the crowd to Priscilla who stood at its edge, glaring pointedly. I
continued to stare, oblivious, until Ian found me.

"Are you feeling alright?" the fourth-year
asked, anxiously. "You look flushed, Ryiah. Perhaps it's too hot in
here…"

But what I was feeling had nothing to do with
the room. The temperature could not make me feel like I was
suffocating – like something was dying, like something was
shattering, breaking into a million tiny pieces as Priscilla took
the non-heir's hand in hers.

Ian pressed his palm to my forehead. "You
should lie down. Would you like me to walk you to your
chambers?"

"No." Did I really feel this empty all the
time? Or was it just that Darren had made me feel whole? What was
it that I had felt when he held me? Safe. Whole. Happy. But right
now I couldn't remember any of those things with Ian.

What was wrong with me?

I swallowed, a hard lump lodged in the base
of my throat. "You should stay and enjoy the rest of the evening
with Alex and Ella."

"Are you sure?" A flash of confusion dashed
across the boy's features but it was gone before I could place it.
"Goodnight, Ryiah."

"Goodnight, Ian." I walked up the atrium
steps in a haze, hardly conscious of Sjeka's beautiful sea as I
passed the looming window to the second spiraling stair of the
apprentice quarters.

As I continued the walk down the long, dark
passage I forced myself to replay the dance in my head.
It's an
illusion. It's not real. What I feel is not real.

But it had felt real. And I had felt it
before. But it wasn't fair, it wasn't right, it wasn't-

"Ryiah!"

I spun around – and my heart leaped out of my
chest. Darren. He was running through the hall, toward me,
seemingly uncaring as he knocked over an unlit sconce to the floor.
I opened my mouth to tell him to leave or stay or go or any of
those things but before I could get a word out he grabbed me and
shoved me against the wall.

Then

He

Kissed

Me.

Wildly, possessively, with a hunger that
stole the will from my limbs. He kept me up against the wall,
kissing me like he couldn't fight any longer. Like he was me,
fighting himself and losing to a fervor that would burn him
alive.

A loud gasp escaped my lips and he deepened
the assault. His hands slid into my hair and I felt myself crumble,
sparks shooting across my scalp and my skin and my heart until I
could hear nothing but the hammering of our pulse.

"I shouldn't have danced with you." His voice
was hoarse, ragged. He looked at me and his eyes were two black
stars, pulling me in and drowning me. "I knew I shouldn't and I
asked you anyway."

My lips parted before I even realized what
was happening.

And then:
What was I doing?

"No." I shoved the non-heir away.
How
could I? What was I thinking?
A wave of shame rolled through
me. "
Darren, this is wrong!
"

"You can't fight this Ryiah." Darren's eyes
met mine and held them. "Any more than I can." The third part was
so quiet I almost missed it. "And believe me. I've tried."

I took a step back and realized he was still
pinning me to the wall.

"Let me go."

"Is that what you really want?" His eyes were
unreadable.

No
. "Yes," was what I heard myself
say.

Darren leaned in close, his mouth brushing my
ear. "You are a terrible liar." Then he kissed me again. Slowly.
Once. Twice. Soft moth's wing kisses that made my knees buckle and
collapse right out from under me.

And then I was home.

Everything smelled of pine and cloves and
him
. There was a steady burn rising in me that I couldn't
ignore. My whole body was in flames. I was losing myself in what it
felt like to be near him. This was what I had wanted. This was what
I was missing. This was what I needed.

"Ryiah." The word was barely a whisper.
"Ryiah, I have wanted to do this for so long."

You aren't the only one
. Before I
could stop myself I had pulled him back to me. My lips hovered
above his for just a second before I lost control. And then I
kissed him. I kissed him in a way I had never kissed Ian: hungry,
hot, angry, desperate, confused, in love, in madness. I kissed him
with everything I had. Everything I hadn't wanted to let myself
feel-

A loud clash came from the hall behind us as
someone sneezed loudly. Darren and I broke apart and I saw the
telltale flash of Lynn's straight black ponytail. I could see the
sconce she had accidentally kicked in her soft-footed approach.