The Best Man (12 page)

“Kate, I—”

“Don’t say you’re worried about me.” Kate’s chin angled up. “I can take care of myself, Luke.”

Luke heard the warning in her voice. Studying the determined look on her face, he let out a sigh. He knew that look. It was a feminine version of her father’s squared chin. Kate had worn that expression frequently when she first came to work at the firm. He’d known she was fighting inner demons. Before he learned the secret of what made her tick, Joel arrived and disrupted their lives.

“I know you can.” Luke he ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re competent, Kate. It’s just—”

“Then, wish me luck. You can even drop over for pizza sometime.” Kate grinned as she waved her shopping bags. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything, Luke. So…I guess I’ll see you Monday.”

Luke’s mouth opened, but no sound came. He wanted to keep her close, make sure she was safe, but Kate had made one thing clear since her return from near death. She intended doing things her way in the future.

“I’ll give you a lift.”

“I called a taxi, but thanks.” She turned from the door. Her dark eyes were warm as she looked back at him. “I won’t forget all you’ve done for me.”

“That’s what friends are for.” Luke snapped his mouth shut before he said something he would regret. But the urge to beg her to stay was so strong he almost caved.

Then the door closed, and Kate was gone.

He roamed the living room. Suddenly the apartment felt empty, as if all the life had been sucked out of the four walls. In a few short days, Kate had marked the room with her presence. He stood at the tall windows and stared out in the night.

But that was another mistake. One glance at the ink black sky brought everything back, reminding him of being on the beach in Thailand, with piles of bodies lining the sand, and thinking Kate was dead.

He had gone days without sleep, and spent every minute searching for some sigh of Kate.

Watching her walk out that door just now brought all those hopeless feelings back to him. He’d roamed that country, checked Kate’s name with every official he could find, and searched until he was ready to drop.

Most of the lists of missing persons hadn’t even had her name on them. He blamed Joel for that. But his anger eased when he remembered Joel had been a victim, too. He’d been washed overboard, just like Kate. But Joel had washed ashore on a beach and found his way home.

The room turned cold as a tomb. Luke shivered.

As long as he lived, he would never forget the night Joel called, saying Kate was missing. His apartment felt empty with her leaving, but nothing like that night after he’d hung up the phone. He’d been in his other apartment, but the affect had been the same. Cold had seeped in under the doors, taking all the warmth from the rooms and chilling him to the core. The shock of the news was so intense he never expected to take another breath.

When Joel returned home a couple of days later, Luke covered his anger, gathered details and took time off to go to Thailand. He had never spent a more miserable three weeks in his life. But when he returned to work, he had let go some of his anger at Joel.

After seeing the devastation first hand, he realized some of the trauma Joel suffered. He understood Joel’s shock. He found it in his heart to forgive what he’d supposed was Joel’s lack of worry over Kate. He’d experienced the insurmountable task of trying to locate any sign of Kate in all the bodies.

Kate!

Luke wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her all the things going on in his head. But it would be a mistake. Kate needed time. Luke had no choice. He had to respect her wishes…no matter how much he wanted things to be different.

***

“Have a nice weekend?”

Kate looked up from arranging things in her new desk, in her father’s office and managed a smile as Joel spoke from the doorway. “It passed too fast.”

“So, what did you do? Spend the weekend shopping?” He took another sip from the soda can in his hand. “God knows, you needed to buy some clothes.”

Kate’s brow quirked as she studied the man she’d once thought she loved. Had Joel’s face always leaned toward fleshy? She didn’t remember him looking overweight when they were married. “I worked in a soup kitchen.”

A look of horror crossed Joel’s face. “All weekend?”

“Pretty much…and I cleaned my apartment.”

“Your apartment?”

Kate looked up from organizing files for the bottom drawer of the mahogany desk. “You sound surprised.”

Joel rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah.”

Staring at him, Kate leaned back in her chair. “Why is that?”

Color crawled up Joel’s neck, turning his cheeks ruddy. He stuffed one hand in his pocket, flaring his suit jacket behind him like a cape. “Once Luke had you safe in his apartment, I didn’t think he would let you out of his sight.”

Kate’s lips clamped shut to stop her impulsive response. She recalled how Joel always tried to keep tabs on Luke and refused to satisfy his curiosity. She’d never asked, but she suspected he envied Luke.

Joel paced in front of the door as if her silence increased his need for answers. “You were staying at his apartment, weren’t you?”

“Luke was kind enough to offer me a bed for a couple of days until I could manage on my on.”

“With my money,” Joel mumbled, curiosity drawing him into the room. He stopped in front of her desk as he glared down at her. “I’ll bet.”

Kate’s gaze raked over his face. “What are you implying, Joel?”

“Don’t tell me it slipped your notice that Luke was worried sick over you?”

“I’m a friend—”

“You mean a hell of a lot more than that to Luke. I can’t believe I didn’t see it from the beginning.”

“What didn’t you see, Joel?” Kate demanded. It seemed insane, but Joel’s words caused hope to swell in her chest. “I don’t understand.”

She’d felt the need to move out of Luke’s apartment to give herself space. Living under the same roof, one wall away from his bed, made her want things her better judgment told her to ignore. She’d spent her past looking for love in all the wrong places, and made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t make that mistake again.

Maybe it was the long months without a friend to talk to…or maybe...she just missed being a wife, even Joel’s wife, but for whatever reason, her body seemed to go into overdrive when Luke was around. That wasn’t good. She needed to keep a level head.

“Luke’s been a good friend to me.”

“Yeah, some friend. He went ballistic when I came back from Thailand without you.”

“That’s what friends do, Joel. They worry about each other.”

“Well forgive me for thinking he acted more like he’d lost a lover, than a friend.” Joel’s golden brown eyes squinted. “Did you have something going with Luke before we met?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Kate bit her lip in an effort to keep the censure from her voice. Part of her wanted to rip Joel’s satisfied smile off his face. The other part warned her that Joel always wanted what someone else had.

Joel frowned, uncertain she wasn’t hiding facts. “So you didn’t date Luke?”

“Why ask now? You never said a word before we were married.”

Joel rested his palms flat on the desk, bringing his eyes level with hers. “Because as soon as I got back from Thailand without you, Luke put in for vacation time and took off for three weeks.” Joel’s lips twisted in a smirk. “Took me a while to put the pieces together, but I found out he left the country.”

“So? Luke is due vacation time—”

“In the same country where you were lost?” Joel snorted. “Don’t give me that! He went over there to search for you.”

Every muscle in Kate’s body went slack. She almost toppled out of the chair and into the floor. She felt drained, overwhelmed by emotions bubbling in her chest.
Luke had gone looking for her
?

Kate knocked on Luke’s door. “You called?”

“That’s the third time this week you’ve been called to the Crisis Center.” Luke motioned her to come in.

“There are a lot of women who need help.” Kate settled in the chair in front of his desk, keeping her tone calm as she recalled the conversation with Joel two weeks ago. Days when she’d analyzed her decision to remain with the firm. Hours she’d questioned her motives, and her decision to stay. Had she made the wrong choice?

“It’s called Crisis Center for a reason, Kate.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Kate tore her gaze away from his strong chin. Luke had a stubborn streak she didn’t want to rile. She needed him on her side on these pro bono cases for the women and children forced to use the center. Luke was protective of her because of the trauma she’d been through. “I can—”

“Take care of yourself,” Luke finished her sentence with a gusty sigh. “Where have I heard that before?”

“I can.” Kate saw the concern in his eyes, noted the firm line of his lips formed a perfect V when they were relaxed. Lips made for kissing. She gulped, reigning in her wayward thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to show interest in Luke. She’d kept her attraction to him hidden when she first joined the firm, she could do it again.

Except, it was harder to hide her reactions. She’d nearly died in that tsunami, making her aware of how precious life was. Also, she’d vowed she would gain her independence. But since she spent nights in Luke’s apartment, feelings from the past came rushing back.

How could she be true to her goal...and still share the warm emotions building inside her? In a fit of anger, Joel had revealed Luke’s actions as if they were a dirty secret. But Luke’s efforts to search for her filled a vacancy in her heart..

Neither her father or Joel had searched for her. Luke had cared if she lived or died. Did he have any idea of the torture she endured while she was staying with him? Did she give him any hint of how much she longed to be held in his strong embrace? Nearly dying made her long for human contact. But once she returned, she realized it was Luke’s arms she wanted around her. Luke’s chest s where she wanted to rest her head.

She could pick Luke’s special scent from a roomful of men. The scent of his aftershave and soap lingered in the air after he showered, drifting through the apartment, teasing her. Making her question how much she really wanted her independence.

Her awareness of Luke was one of the reasons she needed to move to a place of her own. If she wanted to take control of her life, she had to remove all influence of her past life, including Luke. But that feat was proving impossible.

If she closed her eyes, she could picture the way his damp hair curled after a shower, and remember the sleepy look in his eyes in the morning, before he had his first cup of coffee. Those images wouldn’t leave her head. They filled her dreams, flared into full color when she closed her eyes. The longing to be with him, to share with him, made her want to seize the moment and toss her goal aside.

Then she remembered the bare walls in Luke’s apartment and his near admission of trouble with a woman. For all she knew, Luke was still in love with that woman. And she’d had enough chasing after men who didn’t want her love to last her a life time. Better keep focused on her goal and fill the emptiness of her heart with helping others.

“I know you want to help.” Kate cleared the husky note from her voice. “But I have to do this on my own.”

Luke shoved back in his chair as he growled. “Did you have to start with the most dangerous cases you could find?” His intense gaze bored into her. “Domestic abuse cases are the most volatile to handle.”

“They also have the most innocent victims.” Kate met his stare, refusing to back down. If he knew her half as well as she knew him, he would get the message and back off. “I want to help the kids caught in the middle, Luke, not save the world.”

“Kate…you want to help, I get that.” Luke swiped his hand down over his face. “But couldn’t you start out with something easier?”

Kate’s spine stiffened. So much for thinking they were on the same wave length. “You mean things like parental custody cases?” She watched him nod. “I have a list of those, too. Child Protective Services has promised to keep me busy.”

Luke shook his head. “You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”

“It’s time someone tried to help—”

“Why does it have to be you? After the hell you’ve been through hell these last few months, haven’t you suffered enough?”

“Almost dying,” Kate swallowed a sudden rush of emotion at the mention of her experience in the tsunami, “makes me the perfect candidate to help these women. I understand what it feels like to give up all hope. To think that your life is over and no one cares.”

Luke stared at her in silence.

Kate thought of all the times she had seen this intent look on his face. From her first day at the firm, Luke impressed her with his integrity. Now, she wondered what else was going on in his head.

She didn’t dare think of Joel’s words, about him rushing to Thailand to rescue her, or she would lose focus. She couldn’t back down now…too many people were counting on her. And as far as she knew, Luke still cared for the woman who’d broken his heart.