The Best Christmas Ever (3 page)

“Amy was angry that every time Sarah and I were near each other we fought. I knew this and tried to curb my tongue, but something got my dander up each time the woman came by. Sarah obviously felt the same way. Amy was caught in the middle and maybe that was why Sarah had fought back the way she did. She had been trying to protect Amy. I just don’t know.”

Justin ran a weary hand over his face. “She went too far when she tried to take Mickie.”

Yes, it had jerked him out of his grief, but the strength he’d found was fueled by anger and hatred, not by God. Things had been disastrous at the trial, breaking the familial bonds between them forever. Or so he’d thought until today, when he’d found out that Sarah was living in a shelter and had tried in her own way to “bury the hatchet.”

“You know you can’t just go to her and force her to move home with you. If she thinks you’re offering her charity she’ll disappear. She’s a very proud woman.”

A very proud woman who was now out wandering the streets because the shelter’s doors had closed while she’d been watching Mickie for him. What could he say to Bill? Why hadn’t she told him? He had to do something.

An idea formed. Justin would bet that Sarah would be at the shelter tomorrow when the doors opened.
She’d been staying there for a while, according to Bill. Yes, his plan just might work.

“Look, Bill, I’m desperate. I need a baby-sitter. I don’t know how to get a hold of Sarah. Could you contact her for me tomorrow when the shelter opens for breakfast? Tell her I called looking for her and need her help.”

Bill whistled on the other end. “She’s gonna go crazy when she finds out you know about her living in a shelter.”

“I understand. Maybe you can smooth that over, convince her I’m not handing out charity. My baby-sitter quit tonight and I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I need someone—immediately! If it’ll help, tell her I’m desperate. You know her better than I do. Do what you have to and convince her to take the job. Call me first thing in the morning after you talk to her.”

“Sure thing. And, Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s about time you faced this thing between you and Sarah.” With those words Bill hung up.

Justin slowly replaced the receiver, trying not to read more into Bill’s words than he’d intended. But the truth was, it was hard not to. Because, like a lightning bolt from the sky, he suddenly wondered if maybe that had not been part of the problem all along. Had he married Amy partly out of guilt? Oh, he’d been attracted to her, but what he’d done to her family’s business had been part of the equation, too. Unfortunately, she’d married him only out of obligation to her family. He’d cared for Amy. At least on his part he had been willing to stay married forever. They had
enjoyed a good comfortable relationship, and in his own way, he’d loved her.

But Bill’s words unsettled him more than they should have. Was it not possible that he’d known, on some deeper level, that Amy hadn’t loved him and he’d felt threatened by Sarah’s anger and dislike?

The possibility was too awful to consider. He didn’t want to think that he’d been so insecure back then that he had actually helped cause the wedge in his marriage.

With that thought, he slipped into bed and pulled the covers up to his waist. He would give Sarah a job, prove to her he held no grudges against her and prove to himself that there was really nothing between them at all. Then he’d have his peace again. He could close that part of his life and go forward to face whatever the future held, with no regrets or shadows from the past dogging his heels.

T
he doorbell rang, but Justin didn’t rush forward the way he wanted to. He didn’t throw open the door and greet his sister-in-law with a blast of anger. Instead, he took two repetitive breaths, letting each one out slowly, readying himself for the battle he was sure to face. When he was certain he had control of his emotions, he calmly walked forward and pulled open the door.

She still wore the same jeans from yesterday. She’d changed her shirt, though, he noted. Instead of a white pullover, she wore a pink one.

“Well, are you done gawking at the charity case?”

He raised an eyebrow in silent query, but that only seemed to antagonize her.

“Don’t you dare pull that patronizing look on me. It won’t work. I’ve seen it before.”

“I’m not trying to be patronizing, Sarah. I just wondered why you were in such a sour mood already this morning. It’s not even ten a.m.”

She dropped her arms from where she’d crossed them and let them hang at her sides. However, she looked anything but relaxed; she looked ready to pounce on him and take him apart limb by limb.

“You know exactly what’s the matter. How could you get Bill involved in this?” she demanded. “He’s a friend I trusted, until he hunted me down this morning and told me you had called him last night.”

“Is that what’s bothering you?”

“No, it’s not,” she fumed. “What’s bothering me is he told you about…well…”

She trailed off and Justin understood it was her lack of a job and an apartment she referred to.

“You offered me work out of pity, and when I told Bill exactly what I thought of that, he told me you refused to take no for an answer and would come to the shelter yourself if I didn’t show up here.”

So, it had taken the threat of his tracking her down at the homeless shelter to convince her to come to his house this morning. Justin wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Insulted? No. A little angry? Maybe. Frustrated? Definitely. But he understood how debasing it must feel for someone she considered her enemy to be offering her a job. However, they were no longer enemies, and the sooner she accepted that, the better.

“Come in.” He stepped back. “Mickie is next door playing. She’ll be home in a little while.”

“Sent her off so she wouldn’t see the fireworks?” Sarah replied nastily.

“Yes.”

That one word seemed to deflate Sarah. She let out a long sigh, raked a hand through her hair, then finally walked in. Justin didn’t wait for her but continued to
the kitchen, where he had juice and coffee waiting. He poured her both before hooking a kitchen stool with his foot and pulling it out. Slipping onto it, he indicated the one across from him.

He watched Sarah glance around and wondered what she saw. Little had changed since Amy. The kitchen was still a cozy little place for family meetings.

That’s one reason Amy had liked it so much. Modem, with tiles, yellow paint and pale corn-silk flowers on the pastel printed wallpaper, it gave off a feeling of homeyness. A small table for four sat near a picture window that afforded a view of a large backyard and the forest beyond that. The appliances were new, with a small snack bar separating the breakfast area from the actual cooking area.

Did Sarah wonder if he and Amy had eaten their dinner in here or out in the more formal dining room? If they’d had intimate chats in the evening, staring out the window as the sun slowly sank beneath the trees? She was in for a surprise if she thought that.

One of the things Justin truly regretted was there had been none of that. He’d always been too busy to sit down and spend any time with his wife. The melancholy of that inconsideration tried to grab hold of him, but he shook it off. Better to get down to business with Sarah before she decided to get defensive again.

“I need help.”

“I’ve never doubted that.”

He smiled at her quick comeback. “My sitter quit. I can’t find anyone on such short notice and I have to go to the office today. I’m very picky about whom I leave Mickie with. As you might guess, losing a parent
is very hard on a child so small. Even though it’s been two years now, Mickie is still not over her mother’s death. She needs stability, someone who can be here for her when I’m not.”

Justin fiddled with his coffee cup, staring into the depths of it before raising his gaze back to her.

“I know being a housekeeper-sitter is way beneath your training, but I have a proposition. I want you to work here—live here, too, as a matter of fact. That way, if any emergencies come up and I have to go out of town, someone will be here. The pay is good, but not as good as you would make as a legal assistant. However, while working here, you would be tree to send out your résumés and seek a better paying position more in keeping with your experience. All I ask is that any interviews be set up at a time when I’m free to be here with Mickie, and that when you do quit, you give me at least a month’s notice so I can find another housekeeper and let Mickie get used to her before you leave.”

Sarah stared at Justin, certain her mouth hung open. In one hand he offered her a job, but only until she could find something else. What did the other hand hold? The hatchet if she blundered? Did he realize how awful his offer sounded? Or had he only been trying to help her and had accidentally made it sound as though he didn’t want her around?

Evidently, she’d voiced her opinions, because Justin responded.

“That’s not the way I meant it. I simply meant you’d be doing me a great favor by helping me out. Look, Sarah, I know we never got along before, but
you’re family. Can we at least try—for Mickie’s sake?”

Sarah swallowed. For Mickie’s sake? Well, what did she expect? That Justin would say he had been wrong in the past, wrong because of all the pain he had caused her family? He’d come to them and told them he was sorry for what had happened, had even offered compensation and jobs…and married Amy, too. If that didn’t show he felt remorseful, what did? But she’d never believed it. She’d thought he should pay for everything that had happened and have no happiness. She’d made it her crusade to make his life miserable, and she had succeeded. If rumor could be believed, he and Amy had been having problems. Amy had never said anything to her, but Sarah wondered now if it was because of all the grief she herself had caused him whenever she was around.

Guiltily, Sarah looked away from the deep brown eyes that stared at her with such intensity. She needed to let go of the past. Wasn’t that just the reason she’d come yesterday? Justin was offering to let her look for a job while she worked for him. That was it. Very simple. A way to put the past where it belonged, while proving herself trustworthy.

It galled her, though, to feel that she was taking charity.

As if reading her mind, Justin said quietly, “I’m family, Sarah. Let me help you.”

She swallowed her humiliation. She would take the job, but she would make sure that she earned every penny of her pay. “Very well.”

He expelled a great breath. “Fantastic.”

When he named her salary her eyes widened in
shock. “You can’t be serious. That’s too much.” Her temper rose again. She didn’t think housekeepers made that in a month and she didn’t like that he thought she was an idiot. After all, how hard could housekeeping and taking care of a child be? She had kept her own house.

“I assure you, Sarah, for cooking, cleaning and taking care of a child, that’s the going rate. If you don’t believe me, you can call Bill.”

Studying him, she decided he was telling the truth. In any event it didn’t matter. She was going to make sure she earned her paycheck, with no room for questions.

“Is it a deal?”

“It’s a deal.”

“Okay. Uh, well, do we need to get clothes, car, anything like that?”

Sarah burned with embarrassment. “Most of my clothes are in a suitcase at the shelter. I do have a few boxes in a storage area that’s paid up through next month.”

Sarah hated that she’d had to admit such a thing to this man. But he hadn’t said anything or given her the slightest reason to think he pitied her. If he had, she would have walked out, despite her desperation for needing the job.

“You can pick them up whenever you’re ready.” He strode over to a door leading to the garage, where he lifted a key off a hook on a piece of wood shaped like a small house. He brought it back to her. “This is to the car. I’ll drive the four-by-four to work—and don’t object. We’re low on groceries. If you have time today, you’ll need to go shopping. Consider free use
of my car part of the job.” He opened his wallet and pulled out some money.

Sarah’s eyes widened.

“This is your first month’s salary plus household expenses. The other housekeeper just took the money and as we needed supplies or whatever she paid for them out of an account she’d set up in her own name. There was a box in the office, where she kept all her receipts and stuff. However, if you’d prefer not to have a separate household account, you can buy whatever you feel the house or Mickie needs, then I’ll reimburse you.”

“No, that’s fine. I—I’ve never done this before. It’ll take me a week or two to learn my way around.”

“I would expect no less.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

They stared at each other for what seemed like minutes before Sarah broke the stare. “Well, I—”

“Sarah,” he said softly.

His hand came to rest on her shoulder to keep her from walking away.

“I hope this will be a time to heal for you, me…us. We need to let go of the past and go on.”

Sarah couldn’t turn around and face him right now. She could not talk about this because she knew her face would give away her feelings. She was attracted to this man. Had she been before her sister had died? She couldn’t face that question and certainly couldn’t face him as she wondered about it. So instead she simply nodded. “I agree.”

When she still didn’t turn around Justin dropped his hand.

“When will Mickie be home?”

“Any time. I need to go up and change. I have some important work that must be finished today. But let me show you around first.”

Sarah followed but heard little of what Justin actually said. Her mind was on the agreement she’d just made. She would be here for at least one month and she already wondered if this might be a mistake. Would she be able to live in the same house her sister had lived in, with a man who had loved her sister but destroyed her family’s business? The same man she found herself undeniably attracted to?

Well, the room definitely reminded Sarah of Amy’s taste in decor. Amy had loved greens and yellows.

Sarah walked around the large suite that included a living room and bedroom. Decorated in her sister’s favorite colors, it wasn’t exactly her taste—she preferred earth tones—but she couldn’t deny it was more than she’d had this morning. She could thank God she once again had a roof over her head, even if a man who still despised her had offered it.

Well, Father,
she whispered, studying the nice-sized double bed covered in a forest green spread,
Show me what I must do to prove to this man I’m sorry for the past. Help me to restore his trust in me again. It’s important that I at least right that wrong so Mickie won’t suffer any pain.

Sarah wondered again if she was a fool coming here like this. But when faced with the shocking news of her infertility and the cruelties of André’s family after he’d left on a trip to sort everything out, she’d suddenly
realized how much she regretted breaking off all contact with Mickie.

True, Amy had married Justin at their parents’ urging, but it was possible she had come to love Justin, while Sarah had still blamed him for everything that had happened to her family. She owed it to Amy and Mickie to try to get to know him.

She remembered that time long ago when she’d first seen him, how attractive she’d thought him when he’d come to the office. Then she’d found out he wasn’t one of the underlings from the company that had just destroyed her parents’ lives but the actual owner. He and his partner had taken over the business. Her mother had been too torn up to come in and her father too ill from the shock of losing a business that had been in the family for a hundred years. As the market had changed, so had their family changed the goal of the business. It had been her father’s idea to turn the main part of the organization toward producing computer software components.

When he’d lost the company, he’d suffered a mild heart attack. Amy hadn’t been keen on working in the office so Sarah had gone in to handle the business until whatever flunky the new owner would be sending showed up and officially took over.

The man who arrived hadn’t been the rude jerk who had so cruelly laughed in her father’s face when he’d demanded protection for the workers, but a much more handsome, kinder-looking man. But when she’d heard his name…

Sarah shook her head, wondering why she now remembered that she had been the first sister to find this man attractive.

And a few months later, he’d shown up at the door, apologizing for the way the takeover had been handled and offering reimbursement for those who had been let go with no warning.

Her family had been forgiving, willing to welcome him into their house. She hadn’t been. They’d had no savings left because of her father’s medical bills and because of the bonuses her family had given to help those very families Justin had mentioned. Then, when Justin had asked Amy out, her father had encouraged her to accept his invitations. Her father had formed a grudging but genuine respect for Justin. And perhaps he felt the business might stay in the family if Justin took a liking to Amy and married her, Sarah had often thought.

That had been the beginning of Sarah’s separation from her family. She hadn’t been able to handle her parents attitude or Amy’s submissive acquiescence. She’d moved out almost immediately rather than face Justin and Amy together.

Looking back, Sarah realized part of moving out and breaking off her relations with her family had grown from her horror of the attraction she felt for the man who had, in her opinion, destroyed her family.

While she’d stubbornly hidden herself away, dear sweet Amy, who had always done exactly as her parents wished, had married Justin.