The Beginning at the End of the World: A Post-Apocalyptic, Dystopian Series (The Survivor Diaries Book 2) (27 page)

“Since you ask,” I said. “I was wearing almost all of my clothing when Steven Rolette’s blood spurted all over me. The blood froze my clothes onto my skin, and when I extricated myself from the material, it ripped, and took some of my flesh with it. The other few pieces of clothing I could bring with me are in a truck, which is buried under several feet of snow.”

“I have some uniforms you can wear,” whispered Major Kim in my ear. She probably had many occasions to know what I was feeling.

“Can we please get back to business now?” asked Mason. Maybe he hadn’t had his coffee yet.

“Absolutely. Please go and stand with your people, Mason,” I commanded. “There are questions I need answered. We didn’t have time before the attacks to chat. First, where is the livestock?”

“We made a snow cave for them,” said Woolf. “Sergeant Ramirez is taking care of them. They plan to bring them out soon. They are fine in the snow. We only kept them in there so their movement wouldn’t be spotted from the sky.”

“Where ever they are, I need someone to go and get the goat’s milk pumping,” I said. “Doc, how much milk can the kids drink before they get diarrhea?”

“If goat’s milk is anything like cow’s milk, I would say they could start with a half glass today,” said Malcolm.

“Woolf, would you mind going up and getting that started?” I asked. He looked at Mason, who nodded an affirmative.

“Now, I am confused. Who is actually the boss of the military team you all assembled?” I asked.

“Laura,” Mark started, but when I looked at him, he backed down. I was a military wife; I knew all about ranks. On the other hand, someone might very well be in charge under the circumstances.

Fitzpatrick, the obvious peacekeeper in the group, spoke up. “We follow the chain of command, just like we did before the war. The highest rank among us is Colonel. We have me, Colonel Mason and Colonel Jackson. Next in the ranks are the Majors; Major Owens and Major Kim.”

“Fine,” I jumped in before he could continue. “No one person is in charge of you. That’s good, because you can just think of me as Commander-in-Chief, or Queen, whichever you prefer.” I saw Jackson’s smile grow into a wide grin that he was trying unsuccessfully to submerge behind his hand.

“I made it perfectly clear before the last round of attacks that we, the Villagers, can continue on our own if we have to. But no decisions that affect us all are to be made by anyone unilaterally, including me. So, ladies and gentlemen, it’s still the Villager’s Rodeo.”

I realized I no longer felt disbelief when I spoke forcefully. I wasn’t on a power trip either, I simply wasn’t afraid anymore. Ammie’s speech to the Village, and Jackson’s private speech to me, made me realize that it was okay to lead without apology.

Bri and Adam’s revelations about how much the MT needed us made me understand that they weren’t about to abandon us.

“I believe that we were given a rather incomplete list of your assets before we hit the road,” I said. “Since we are all in this together now, you have no need to hide anything from us anymore. I would like a list no later than COB.”

“COB?” asked First Lieutenant Granville.

“Oh, did I forget to tell you my background? I’m corporate, at least I was. COB means Close of Business, meaning five o’clock in the evening.

“Now, how’s the plan for digging us out of here going?” I continued.

∞

“My sack of gear is down here somewhere,” said Kim as she led me into another supply cave, one without a dead body I hoped.

“Thank you, Major Kim,” I said

“Call me Cassie,” she told me. “After what you just unleashed on the men, I don’t think they are expecting you to play our war games with us.”

I smiled in appreciation.

“Permission to speak honestly?” she asked.

“Cassie, like you just said, I am not on the MT. From here on out, I hope that you will speak honestly without asking, even to those jerky Colonels. Actually, especially to them,” I said.

She looked overjoyed at the thought.

“I have wanted to go off on them like you just did so many times. Even though there is no official army that I know of, we have still been playing out our roles. I have been in awe of you for a while, too. We were getting all sorts of camera feeds from the Village. Colonel Jackson’s gushing about how good you are was spot on.”

My cheeks were warm from blushing. “I am honored, thank you.”

“Look, here it is,” she said, pulling out a large green duffle bag with her name and social security number written on it in indelible, black ink. I helped her pull it to the surface, and she hoisted it on her shoulder and carried it to my snow cave.

“Want to hear something funny, Cassie?” I asked while she unpacked some of her stuff. “One of my bucket list wishes, before the war, was to go to one of those fancy ice hotels in Canada.”

We both laughed hard at the irony.

“What are you two laughing at?” Ammie said as she crawled into our latest home. I hadn’t spent any time with Ammie since I found out about her and Thomas. It felt a little weird, but I shook it off. I guess we both had secrets.

“About those ice hotels in Canada we always wanted to vacation at,” I told her.

“Yeah, in retrospect, they weren’t the best idea,” said Ammie.

“Here,” said Cassandra, pulling out a drab-green sports bra with matching panties. They were the ugliest underwear I had ever seen. By the look on Ammie’s face, she felt the same.

“Well, I actually already stole a bra from Ammie,” I said in an effort not to be rude.

“Ah,” said Ammie.

“Yep, that really cute pink one with black polka-a-dots and the little black ribbon in the front. ‘Cuz even though I am some badass leader, I still want to feel pretty,” I said as I batted exaggerated eyelashes at her.

“Man, that was my favorite,” she said.

“Maybe the Major will loan you hers,” I said.

Cassie laughed so hard she snorted. I bet she missed female companionship.

“I might be borrowing one of yours, too, Amanda. Say, what you got in those suitcases of yours?” she chided.

Cassie firmly cemented her place in our girls club this afternoon.
And
she got a pity bra from Ammie, who asked if she could burn one of Cassie’s bras in return.

“Here is a uniform that will fit you a lot better, Laura,” said Cassie. She was right. I didn’t feel like a little boy wearing his daddy’s clothes anymore.

I haven’t felt that free, that light-hearted, since months before the Last War.

∞

We crawled out of the cave still laughing, and I bumped head first into Bri’s calf.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“We, we just found out what kind of bra you wear with your uniform,” said Ammie, who couldn’t catch her breath she was laughing so hard.

“Shut up,” said Bri, half-heartedly. “By the way, Aunt Laurie. Nice outfit.”

“Why thank you, Bri,” I returned with a curtsy. It certainly felt better than the one I had been trying to hold onto my body.

I looked over into a snowy field where Mark and a group of other soldiers were playing soccer with the kids. He was wearing a uniform now. When did that happen?

The feeling of guilt in my stomach replaced my short-lived happiness. How could I be laughing and happy while Mark was hurting? I just wasn’t ready to confront him yet. I have always run in the opposite direction of any sort of confrontation with him. But this wouldn’t be for me. It was only fair to him, wasn’t it?

I made the decision not to speak with Mark in private until I was ready. I wasn’t sure how long it would take.

∞

I spent hours with Ammie, Bri and Cassie uncovering RV one. We needed Annie and her team to be able to cook. MREs and fake coffee sucked. Plus, the bathroom was very missed by all of us.

As I stopped my digging to try and stretch the ache out of my shoulders, I looked down the line of vehicle shaped snow mounds and saw Jackson helping with the shoveling, too. His uniform shirt was open, revealing a sweaty undershirt that clung to his fit chest.

He looked over at me and winked. When I thought about it, he always seemed to be looking my way, and I ignored it before. Now, it energized me. I stuck my shovel back in the hard snow and kicked it with my boot to break up a clump.

It was slow going, though. By supper, we had only RV one uncovered fully. It was MREs for us this evening, and it was corned beef hash for me. Again, Bailey and Hershey were the only ones in our cave to enjoy the ready-to-eat meals.

“Bailey Bug,” I said. “How did you like the milk today?”

“It was kinda good, and kinda weird. Miss Holly said it was warm because it had just come out of a goat. Laura, can we play with the goats? Miss Holly said she wasn’t sure. Please.”

“I will go with you to talk to Sergeant Ramirez to ask him if it’s okay,” I told her.

“Is Mark going to sleep in here with us tonight?” Bailey asked.

“No, Mark has to stay with the radios,” I told her. It wasn’t a lie.

After dinner, I went to wash up in RV one and ran into Mark. It was so awkward. Just two days ago we were just a normal husband and wife. Now we had no idea how to even greet each other. We opted for exchanging “hey.”

Some of the tents were brought out of storage for the people who wanted to get out of the caves. That was definitely me. Rolette’s one person tent was now available, and I asked Sampson to help me set it up. Yes, one reason was for an easy escape to Jackson, but I also really needed time alone. I couldn’t get that time until everyone was asleep for the night. It’s amazing how I could love everyone in the Village so much and still crave time to myself.

When I told everyone in Annie’s cave that I would be in a tent tonight, I got some strange stares.

“First, Ammie and now you. Do we smell funny?” Billy kidded.

“Yes, but we all do,” I joked honestly. “I have a lot of work. There is so much to do before we get back on the road.”

I helped to get a goat-obsessed Bailey into her sleeping bag. She was good company for Annie and Billy.

∞

I had to go into the com cave for some of the paperwork they needed me to tend to.

I heard joking voices as I descended the ladder. I was relieved when I realized one was Mark’s voice. But when he saw me he quickly turned back to the radios and pulled on a pair of headphones. I felt a pang of hurt, but I went over to Cassie to get what I needed.

When I got back to my tent, Carrie was waiting for me outside of the flap.

Damn, there goes my alone time,
I thought.

“Hi, Laura. I thought you might need me to help with some of this work,” she said as she took some of the papers that I was about to drop.

“Carrie, you are too nice. But I’ve got this. Go and spend a non-terrifying night with Samantha,” I told her.

She looked relieved not to have to work on all the crap that I had to take care of. I understood that.

I was buried in the minutia of my task when I heard Jackson’s nasal voice. “Can I come in?”

“If you can fit,” I told him. I barely looked up when I said, “What’s up?”

He took the page from my hand and whispered, “Smooth move with the tent. I’m off security at zero thirty hours. That’s twelve-thirty in ‘corporate time.’ Heh, heh.”

I laughed and nodded my affirmation.

“Sorry you have to wear a uniform. Maybe Naomi will have some civvies for you to wear when we get to the Valley. She is much taller than you, though,” he said.

It was strange that he referred to her by her first name. Had he ever done that with any of the other MT?

“Can’t wait to see you out of that uniform,” he said as he left the tent.

“Is that all you think about?”

“Right now, yes.”

I have to admit that I had a hell of a time focusing on the work in front of me. My mind kept drifting back to sounds he made last night and his smell. It was intoxicating.

I decided that having been caked in blood the day before with only an alcohol rub bath to clean myself made it fair for me to take a shower, even if I wasn’t on the schedule. I snuck past the sleeping people in the RV, and I washed it all down the drain; all of the fear, guilt and even the lust. I would start fresh with Jackson tonight.

When I finished, I found a windup alarm clock in RV one and claimed it as my own. I brought it back to my tent, and I set it for twelve-thirty, just in case I fell asleep, but that wasn’t going to happen. My heart was pounding in anticipation.

When the tick-tock finally indicated twelve-thirty, I quietly made my way to Jackson’s igloo. I crawled through the opening and into a small, glacial room lit with at least twenty tea candles. They shone a soft light on the ice walls that made the room appear to be twinkling. He had somehow found a blow-up mattress and had placed sleeping bags and blankets on top of it. There were two glasses of red wine in actual glass wine goblets.

“It’s breath-taking,” I said.

He came behind me and whispered in my ear, “Remember to breathe.”

Phillip’s got game,
I thought.

“Wait,” he said. He went through the small opening and came back out with a rope. He put a small wooden desk on its side and tied the ends of the rope around it so that when someone pulled at it from the wooden door outside they would not be able to pull it through the small passageway; it was too big. Devilishly ingenious.

“So we are not disturbed,” he said. His eyes sparkled in the candle light. “Breathe.”

All I could do was nod.

He took me in his arms and exhaled warm air on my neck, sending goose bumps all over my body. He let me go only long enough to turn on my pink iPod that was connected to two small speakers. How did he get my iPod? He played
The Way You Look Tonight
.

“Thief,” I said with a sly smile of my own. “How did you do all of this?”

“I wanted our first date to be something you would never forget.”

“I won’t ever forget, Jackson,” I promised.

It had been so long since I had romance in my life that it would be an easy promise to keep.

We danced to the music that was set on low so that it couldn’t be heard from the outside. Jackson had to hunch over so that his head didn’t bump the ceiling, but it was still romantic. That man could dance, too.

What was he not good at?
Oh yeah, tact.

We drank some of the wine that he had the military team unload before they had covered their big trucks. The pinot noir was so smooth that I drank it a bit faster than I had meant to. He twirled his tipsy dance partner in the small space of the cave.

“Are you still commando?”

I backed away from him, and I shook my head as I slowly opened the Velcro and pulled down my zipper. I relished his facial expressions when he saw the beautiful pink bra I was wearing.

“That’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” he said.

I lay down and rested on my elbows on the comfortable mattress. He kneeled next to me. I undid his shirt in the same way and pulled off the undershirt beneath it. His dog tags swung back and forth slapping his chest. His warm torso rested against mine. His fingers dragged through my freshly washed hair.

His own salt and pepper hair, now longer than any of the other MT, hung sexily in front of his eyes. I reached up and brushed it back so that I could read those ocean baby blues. They had so much to say that my heart began to beat uncontrollably.

His tongue ran down my jaw and then my neck. He reached around and unhooked the bra’s clasp and freed my breasts which were standing at attention to his commands.

“Jackson,” yelled Bri’s voice from outside the cave.

Son of a bitch,
I yelled in my head.

Jackson looked at me like he was ready to burst from disappointment.

“I guess this is what post-apocalyptic sex is like; dead guys, bombs, urgent nieces yelling,” I said.

“Fuck,” he said in my ear. “I’ll get rid of her.”

He pulled his undershirt back on, and I put on my uniform top.

After dismantling his “security system,” he disappeared out the hole.

He was outside for several minutes before he came back in.

“Levi went missing on patrol and she thinks that you are missing, too,” his voice was strained. “Honey, she’s your family, so it’s your call.”

“It’s my Village, so it’s my rodeo and it’s my family, so it’s my call,” I said in frustration.

“Yes, Ms. Commander-in-Chief. What should I do?”

“It’s Levi out there in the freezing night. You have to get her in here, and I will deal with the aftermath. Just know that she worships Mark. Oh, and she
doesn’t
worship you.”

“Excellent,” he said.

He went to get Bri and I thought about hiding some of the telltale signs of our “date,” but I knew that she would put the pieces together no matter what I did. I grabbed the beautiful pink bra and stuffed it under the covers.

As she was crawling inside, I was putting my socks on so my feet didn’t freeze.

A “W” shape formed on her mouth, but no words accompanied it at first.

“I think the words you are looking for are ‘What the fuck?’ ” I helped her along.

“What the fuck?” she said.

“I wasn’t going to let you think I was missing. Points for that?” I asked.

“No, no points for that. But you hate him,” she said.

“Turns out that I don’t. Who knew?” I stated. What else could I say?

“You love Uncle Mark and you are cheating on him. You’re a cheater,” she said with fire in her eyes.

“Patton,” Jackson said. “He knows.”

“So that’s why he has been beating you up? How long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know. What time is it?” said Jackson in his usual tactless manner.

“Since yesterday,” I said. “Mark was beating him before any of this happened. But that’s really not the point.”

“Patton, we have a man who is MIA. We are going to have to deal with how
you
feel about
our
relationship later.”

Even with all of the insanity of the last few minutes, the word “relationship” had not passed me by.

Jackson stood in front of her like a drill sergeant. “Report, Specialist.”

She straightened her stance. “Sir, at approximately twenty-three hundred hours Samuels was last seen on the south side of the trail. He has not been seen since. No one returned our walkies, so we have no way to call for him, SIR.”

Bri’s eyes sent death rays at Jackson.

“Round up the security team and the MT. Go from cave to cave and have them meet in front of RV one. GO,” he barked back at her.

This was going to get ugly.

“Bri, don’t tell anyone. We need to get everyone to the Valley safely, and that might not happen if they find out about this,” I begged.

“Whatever, Laura,” she said. I don’t think that I have ever seen her that angry. I knew she wouldn’t run around blabbing it to just anyone, but I also knew that she would tell her sister and Adam, and maybe Jake.

After she left us, Jackson turned to me. “She may be a soldier, but she is barely an adult. Give her some time. I will win her heart, like I did her aunt’s heart.” He went to leave, but he turned. “And by the way, this is happening. If not tonight, tomorrow night. Post-apocalyptic sex, heh. I just got that.”

Damn his “Jackson charm.” I grabbed my bra and stuffed it under my shirt and blew out the tea candles.

It really was a lovely plan for a first date. I guess he will just have to top himself next time.

∞

After I straightened myself out in my tent, I went back out to find a whirlwind of activity. The military were shouting orders and handing out walkies and lanterns. A few Villagers were wandering around. They looked confused.

I found Jake and asked him to gather the Villagers. “But not the children and elderly. I don’t want them out here. Talk to Holly, she knows.”

“Malcolm, Tabitha,” I said before they could get away. “What will you need if Levi has injuries?”

“All of our medical instruments are in one of the buried trucks,” said Tabitha.

“Okay, find Doctor Riley and start making plans,” I ordered.

“Security team two, go west,” I heard Jackson commanding from somewhere not far behind me.

“Are you going out?” I asked Jackson in concern.

“I’ll be okay,” he whispered to me.

I nodded. “Be careful.” I turned from him and continued to give direction. “Jake, find a desk I can stand on like last time.”

“Let’s go, let’s go,” Jackson said, running after a pack about to make their way towards the dense forest. My heart dropped a bit when he ran out of sight.

Jake and Mark dragged a table through the snow, and I saw Adam run over to help.

“Which truck was carrying the medical supplies?” I asked him.

“Number eleven,” he answered.

“Can you get a small group going, and start gathering shovels, and buckets, whatever can be used to dig with. Put them in front of truck eleven, and be prepared to pass them out as soon as this meeting breaks,” I said.

“Don’t worry, I got it,” he said.

“Mark, are you military or a Villager?” I asked him.

“I don’t know anymore,” he said.

“Make up your mind. If you’re a Villager, I need you to help run the operation to get that truck unearthed,” I said. “It’s Levi, Mark.”

Jake helped me up on the table, and everyone gathered in front of me.

“Villagers, Levi Samuels has gone missing while on security duty. He has been missing around two, to two and a half hours. I don’t need to remind you that there are many dangers out there, including wild animals,” I told them.

“I want to go out and search,” someone yelled.

“I know that you all want to help. Between the MT and Village security there are enough trained searchers. But we have something here in this camp that needs to be done. Truck number eleven holds all of the medical equipment the doctors will need to treat Levi if he is hurt. Any one of the searchers could become injured, also.

“Physically, this is going to be harder than the work that we did today. The air is very cold, so if you don’t think that you can handle it, please don’t try. Everyone else, please bring your lanterns over to where Adam is standing, and you will be given instructions that you will need to follow precisely.”

I looked down at Mark, and he nodded.

“Mark is in charge of this one. Let’s get started.”

∞

The Villager count is now fifty. When you take away the youngest and the oldest people and then subtract the security team out searching for Levi and the medics, we were left twenty-eight people to volunteer for the arduous task of digging out the truck.

And twenty-eight freezing souls stood before Mark, awaiting his orders.

“Everyone pair up,” said Mark. “Now, pick who will be an A and who will be a B between you. All A’s need to form a group here to my right, and all B’s will group here to my left. We will be working in shifts so that no one will be in the cold for too long. A’s will go first for forty-five minutes while the B’s catch some shut eye. When the A’s are dismissed, they will wake their B counterparts, who will then take a shift. We will do this until we can get into the truck.”

“Come and get me from my cave over there when it’s my turn.” Katie, my partner, pointed to the cave.

“Will do,” I said, and we exchanged kisses on the cheek.

“I need three people on each door,” continued Mark. “The rest need to be on the roll-up door at the back. Let’s go.”

This was the first time Mark seemed so totally in his element in years. Since he was on the back door, I decided to take the passenger door so my proximity wouldn’t throw him off.

About thirty minutes in, we were still having trouble getting through the frozen ice, but we were chipping away at it. Matt and Adam worked diligently by my side until Adam looked up to find Bri walking towards us.

“Did you find him? Where’s everyone else?” he asked.

“Colonel Jackass sent me back for insubordination,” said Bri. “We haven’t found him.”

I really wanted to ask what happened out there, but not in public. I turned to Adam and handed him my shovel. “Will you get Katie when it’s her shift?”

“Of course. Where are you going?” he asked.

I didn’t answer. “Let’s go, Bri. You know what? Ammie needs to hear this, too.”

I fetched Ammie, and the three of us found ourselves in Colonel Jackass’s cave.

“What’s going on?” asked Ammie. “I was just getting into my shovelin’ groove.”

“Sorry, I am sure you will find more work like that in the next few days, but it’s time for an aunt to niece to niece chat,” I said.