The BEDMAS Conspiracy (11 page)

The room burst into applause. “Speech! Speech!” demanded the crowd.

Eldrick did not look up to giving a speech. I grabbed the microphone instead.

“A big thanks to everyone for showing up for this great party,” I started. “It's great to have everyone's support. I want to thank Janine, Lisa and Sarah for going through all the trouble of creating a traditional Swedish smorgasbord. I can't wait to see the look on Olaf's face when I show him all these, er,
delicious
leftovers.”

I also needed to thank someone else important—the guy who saved me from the killer cheese—but I would do that privately after school. For now, I just gave Eldrick a smile. I knew what he had done for me. And after he finished his fourth bottle of juice, he smiled back.

T
he City Championship was right around the corner and Sick on a Snow Day was ready. Daniela was feeling comfortable and confident as “Olaf.” And Eldrick and I were getting along very well. He was full of helpful tips. He suggested that Sludge add a bongo drum to his percussion kit. The two of them spent hours picking out the perfect bongo.

His study tips kept me in the band. For some strange reason, Eldrick seemed to take quite an interest in my grades—and I couldn't complain. With the exception of math, I was breezing through all of my tests and assignments. He was always careful to offer suggestions to the whole band, but we all knew whose musical fate depended on a B-average. Mine!

“HOMES,” he told us one day. “HOMES is the key to the geography test. Each letter stands for one of the Great Lakes.”

Today, Eldrick came to practice spouting nonsense. “Mary Very Easily Makes Jam Saturday Unless No Plums.”

“A new song?” asked Daniela.

He kept repeating the gobbledy-gook until we were all chanting the nonsense.

“Great,” he told me after practice. “Now you know all of the planets. Mars, Venus, Earth, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. You'll ace the science test.

“I thought Pluto's not a planet anymore,” piped up Sludge. “Heard it got downgraded to a dwarf planet or something.”

“True, Sludge, but—” started Eldrick.

I interrupted before Eldrick could respond to Sludge. The study tips were great and all, but we had a city championship to win. We needed to forget about the Milky Way and focus on music.

“I've been working on a new song!” I told everyone. “I think it's got potential. It's dark and moody.” I played a simple intro on the piano.

Attacked by a herring while everyone was staring
Choking back mushy liver as I try not to quiver
Oh taste buds, can you forgive?
No more slimy fish for as long as I live...

“That's all I've got so far,” I told my friends.

“Very dark, very moody,” agreed Daniela.

“I wrote a new song, too,” said Sludge. He played us a few bars of “To Ink or Not to Ink.”

“It's a look into the world of tattoos,” he explained.

Every member of Sick on a Snow Day wanted to write the song that would win the City Championship. Next up were the Z's who had written a bouncy number about being identical twins called “Joined at the Hip.”

“Time for my song,” said Eldrick cheerfully. “I haven't given it a title yet.”

Sludge was the best songwriter in the band but Eldrick was proving to be a close second. Being nerdy, he had a huge vocabulary and a way with words. Though his speaking voice was high and squeaky, his singing voice was surprisingly deep.

It's night time and there you are lying awake—
Tomorrow you are going to make a giant mistake
Sometimes it's hard to face the terrors
Of a test filled with red-marked errors

Something about this song was starting to bug me.

He was going to cheat on the test he wanted to ace
But in the end, he couldn't go through with the disgrace

Eldrick was singing about me! Sludge and the Z's had also figured it out. They looked nervous as he sang the chorus:

Let me suggest (la la la)
How you can ace the test (la la la)
Don't let yourself go astray (la la la)
Just so you can get an A (la la la)—

“That's ENOUGH!!” I exploded.

“Wait!” protested Eldrick. “You haven't heard the whole thing yet! Wait until you hear the rest!”

Daniela spoke gently but firmly. “Eldrick, why would Adam want to hear a song about how he got into so much trouble—especially from the guy who got him into the trouble?”

“I uh, I...it wasn't my....I didn't mean...” he blustered. “But there's no cheating—”

I'd heard enough. “I thought we were finally friends! You ate stinky cheese for me! And now you want to sing this and embarrass me in front of the whole city? Some friend.”

“I...I...it wasn't to embarrass you, Adam,” whispered Eldrick. Near tears, he fumbled to explain himself. “I...uh...tried...meaningful lyrics. Just let me finish.”

“Eldrick,” Daniela interrupted gently. “I think you've sung enough for now.”

We all stood in an awkward silence. I refused to look at Eldrick.

“I guess you want me to leave?” he asked dully.

“I'll say we do,” I fumed. The rest of the band stood there mutely.

“What are we going to do?” asked Daniela when he was finally gone.

It was a tough decision. On the one hand, we didn't want to mess with a winning formula. Eldrick was a good songwriter and a top-notch percussionist. On the other hand, just when I thought we had made peace, he'd tried to humiliate me again.

“My vote is to kick him out,” I said. I knew I sounded harsh, but I was still smarting over his song. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment.

“What he did was pretty dumb,” said Beena, “but he does come up with ways for you to pass your tests. Are you sure you want to kick him out so close to the City Championship?”

Sludge had an idea. “Can we give him some sort of detention for screwing up?” He had a lot of experience in detentions. “Something like a detention suspension?”

“Good idea,” said Daniela, “We can suspend him for a few practices and then bring him back for the City Championship.”

After taking a vote, we decided to suspend Eldrick for three practices. I had pushed for ten but the rest of the band talked me out of it.

“We don't have ten practices before the contest,” pointed out the twins.

Daniela went to break the news to Eldrick. The whole episode put me in a bad mood.

“Use your negative energy, dude,” said Sludge.

I grabbed a pen and paper, hoping to churn out a dark but catchy song.

T
he timing couldn't have been worse for Eldrick's suspension. Mr. Papernick set the big algebra test for the day before the City Championship. I tried to talk him out of it.

“Can't you make it the day after?” I begged.

Mr. Papernick wouldn't budge. And he wasn't moved by my offer to dedicate our next song to him.

My parents had the same reaction. “You need to get a B on the test. Rules are rules.”

“Even though the City Championship is the next day?” I asked.

“
Especially
because the championship is the next day. This will help you learn how to manage your time and focus on what's important.”

Time management and focusing? Sometimes my parents spoke in a strange language. I knew what was important to me. The City Championship had a cash prize.

“I have the chance to win a thousand dollars and buy you something really nice,” I told my mother.

She gave me her special look: a combination of “stop pushing your luck” and “I've had enough.” Although my brother, Josh, had been given this look before, it was my first time. I slunk out of the room without saying another word.

“How can they expect me to concentrate on a math test when the biggest day of my life is right around the corner?” I complained to Daniela.

“Maybe you can write a song about it?” she suggested. “Call it ‘Full Circle.' You got into this mess because you focused only on the band and ignored a math test and now you desperately need to ace a math test to stay in the band.”

“I think it's so unfair,” I said, ignoring her. “I've done everything they asked. I can spell
dessert
. I can spell
desert
. I know the difference between
principle
and
principal
. They know math is my weakness. Order of operations? Ugh! What am I going to do?”

“Aside from studying?” asked Daniela.

My cousin was really irritating me today. “How can I study when I'm trying to write us a championship song?”

“I have an idea,” said Daniela, “but you're going to hate it.”

“Fire away,” I said, defeated.

“Cut Eldrick's suspension detention.”

“Right,” I said sarcastically, “like that will help me manage my time and focus.”

Daniela had had enough of my tone. “No, dummy. He won't help you focus on the test, but he will help you
pass
the test. So far, he's helped you pass every spelling, science, and history test.”

“You might have a point,” I conceded reluctantly. “But I have my
principles
!”

“Principles-shminciples,” said Daniela. “Who taught you how to spell the word?”

“He didn't teach me how to spell the word,” I said stubbornly. “He just taught me a lame rhyme about Principal Losman being my
pal
.”

“He taught you how to spell the word,” said Daniela firmly. “He's already served almost all of his suspension. Just call him and invite him back early.”

I was close to caving. But then I remembered his song and stubbornly refused.

“Then go and study!” ordered Daniela.

It wasn't as easy as that. Sick on a Snow Day was the first act in J.R. Wilcott's history to compete in the City Championship. There were a lot of demands on our time. Our local newspaper, the
Gazette
, wanted to interview us before the competition. We also had a photo shoot. I was just too busy to study.

And, of course, the City Championship provided a zillion daydreaming opportunities. Staring out the window and thinking about holding that winner's cheque was way more interesting than going through my math book. It was no contest. Studying was next to impossible.

E
verything in my life was going at full speed. School, the City Championship, tricking the school into thinking I had a cute, Swedish cousin: It was too much. The algebra test was the next day. The band knew I was in trouble, but tried to pretend everything was okay.

We had just finished practicing a new song in our repertoire. It was another one of Sludge's masterpieces.

“Have you given a copy of the music to Eldrick?” asked Daniela. “He needs a chance to rehearse, too.”

“Don't worry about it. I went by his place a few days ago and we went over the song. He knows it inside and out!” Sludge enthused. “The little guy can play everyone's part. And I mean
everyone's
part,” he added carefully.