The Beats in Rift (6 page)

“I was lying, Justin. You know me better than that.”

His head falls forward and his shoulders slump. He slams the door and turns to me. “You shouldn’t lie to me, Meadow.”

I open my arms to gesture around his room. “Really? But you can lie to me? Who you in here getting laid by?”

He grimaces. “Fine. What do you want?”

“Why are you mad?” I ask, walking over to him. He sighs and brings his hand down over his face then up and through his hair.

“I’m mad that I let Melissa kiss me. I try to lose myself in her.”

I reach for his hand, grateful for him opening up. “Why do it then? I hate her, Justin. She’s not worthy of you.” His eyes trace up from our hands and lock onto mine.

“Because I can’t have who I really want,” he whispers, furrowing his brow.

“Why can’t you?”

He gazes at me in silence for an eternity then closes the distance between our bodies.

His eyes travelling from my own to my mouth; he’s asking permission, waiting for me to say okay, so I bring my lips to brush against his. He smells of toothpaste. He must have just brushed.

“Meadow,” he whispers. His breath heats my lips, hands grip my hips in a resilient hold. Closing his eyes he murmurs my name again.

“Meadow… don’t play with me.”

I feel the strain in his hold. I deepen my lips to his, his moan encouraging me. His hands loosen their grip and slide up my back into my hair. Holding me to him, his tongue invading my mouth. I return his kiss with the same intensity he is showing me. Lowering his hands to the hem of my top, he lifts it over my head, breaking the kiss for a second before dropping it to the floor and resuming his touch. Gasping for air, he breaks our kiss again to look down at the flesh he has revealed. My lace bra shows my pert nipples, my breath lifting them with each pant.

“God, Meadow.” He cups my face with one hand. “Turn around.”

I do as I’m told, turning my back to him. He gathers my hair and lays it over my shoulder while his lips caress the other side, his warm lips tickling the flesh.

He unclasps my bra and slides it down my arms, and I tremble with nerves and anticipation. His breathing hitches when my bra falls, exposing my breasts.

His mouth closes over my pulse beating rapidly against my neck, tongue flicking, caressing, tracing kisses down over my shoulder, continuing to my back and down my spine.

When he reaches the base of my back, he grips my hips and turns me. He’s on his knees looking up at me in wonder.

I run my hands through his mussed hair as his lips continue their journey back up my body, travelling up my navel. He dips his tongue into my belly button, eliciting a soft moan.

Getting to his feet, closing a hand over one breast, his thumb brushing over my nipple while bringing his mouth to the other. My breathing accelerates with each flick of his tongue over the tight bud, a stir in my lower stomach telling me I need more. I reach for him, pulling his head up to press my mouth to his; I nip his bottom lip and he jolts away.

“Fuck. You bit me, Med.”

I flush with embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

Jared and I had raw passion for each other, an animalistic craving. Biting was something that happened a lot when we made out, but clearly that was just us, and not something that’s done when making out. My stomach drops there’s a buzzing in my ears as the flames from my embarrassment burns fiercely up my neck Feeling completely mortified I advert my eyes from his.

“It’s okay, it just shocked me for a second,” he reassures me, bringing his lips back to mine. He slides the top button on my hipster jeans open, lowering the zipper. I gasp as he slides his hand into my panties. Feeling his palm against my bare sex has the wings from the butterflies in my belly fluttering enthusiastically.

“You feel so hot down there, Med.” He whispers in awe.

He guides me over to his bed and holds me as he lays me down, covering my body with his own. His lips find my skin again, raining kisses over me, starting at my lips, down my neck, chest, over both breasts and down to my stomach.

He coaxes me to part my legs so he can kneel between them. Gripping the waistband of my jeans he slides them down my hips; I lift so he can move them under my ass. He moans when he exposes my lace panties, his gaze roaming my full body.

“You are unbelievably beautiful, Meadow. I can’t believe you hid this perfection for so long.”

I reach up for his belt buckle but flinch when the bedroom door flies open.

“Shit!” Justin shouts and lies over my body to cover me, fumbling around to pull the covers from underneath us.

“You fucking asshole. I knew you we’re screwing that tramp all this time,” Melissa screeches, gathering an audience behind her.

“Get the fuck out, Melissa! Now!” Justin roars at her.

She huffs, storming off and leaving the door open. A couple of Justin’s football buddies take up the space in the doorway with shit-eating grins on their faces. I try to cover myself the best I can but I’m pretty exposed.

“Fucking hell, Jacobs. No wonder you didn’t want us hitting on her. Wow…weeee!” One whistles making the heat in my cheeks burn brighter.

“You lied, man. You said she didn’t put out,” the other jock moans, like a child being told he can’t have ice cream.

My heart pounds in my chest so loud my jaw tense trying to prevent myself from screaming at them or of breaking down and crying, making the scene even more mortifying. I had completely let myself get caught up in Justin and moving on. Letting myself feel and experience things for the first time since Jared ripped my heart out. I kept telling myself this was a dream, there wasn’t half our school about to start gossiping about catching me naked with Justin. The cool air making Goosebumps scatter across my exposed skin and the fact the door was still open, brought the humiliation to form tears. This wasn’t a dream no matter how hard I willed it to be.

“Shut my fucking door before I kill you both,” Justin commands. They chuckle but comply.

He sighs heavily. “That’s not as bad as they made it sound, Meadow. You know I would never talk about you like that.”

I smile and gently push him off me swiping the tears before they could fall. I shimmy my jeans up and fasten them, and slip off the bed to locate my discarded clothes, putting them back on.

“Meadow, I just told them we weren’t an item when they kept asking. I didn’t say anything about you putting out.”

“I know. Its fine, Justin.”

He jumps up from the bed and grabs my arms. “It’s clearly not. Why are you getting dressed?”

I break free from his grasp. “Because the door’s not locked and half the party just saw me naked. You might not care but I do.”

Sighing and reaffirming his hold on my arms. He hushes out “Of course I care. I don’t want anyone seeing you like that. I’m pissed at myself for doing this with you here, with people everywhere.”

He tips my chin up so he can look into my eyes. “I’ve been in love with you since forever and I want us to be together. This should have been special.”

My heart thunders rapidly against my chest at his words before I can digest them or reply a commotion and then a hammering on the door steals are attention. Justin’s Dad’s voice booms through the wood. “I want everyone out and you down stairs in ten minutes.”

I’m paralyzed, his Dad’s voice pulling the demon from my nightmare into my reality just on the other side of the door.

Justin refocuses on me. “Shit, Meadow. You’re shaking, you look sick.”

“You said your Dad wasn’t coming home tonight.”

He releases my arms and begins to fix his belt buckle. “Yeah I didn’t think he was.”

“I need to leave,”

He looks down at me. “Is this because I said I love you, Meds? Are you running from me?” His tortured look swallows his beautiful features. He has always feared me leaving. I had to work extra hard to make sure my grades were good enough to follow him to his choice of college.

I reach for him, bringing his body against mine. “No, never. Don’t think like that.” I pull back, looking up into his eyes. “I love you too, I just don’t want to be here when your Dad is.”

He exhales, releasing the breath he was holding. “Med, you can’t blame him forever. Jared left him too, you know? And that shit with my Mom was lies. He would never hit her; he’s not a violent man.”

After all this time Justin still believes his Dad is a saint. I never told him that he held me up by my throat, leaving dark purple bruises for weeks. I had to wear turtle neck sweaters to hide them.

“Wait” He shakes his head “you said you love me too?”

“I just think we got a little carried away tonight. Maybe we shouldn’t rush things. I think I shouldn’t stay,”

His eyes darken the tick in his jaw begins to flicker all the signs his agitated. “But you love me too, right, Meds?”

“Yes, I do, and tomorrow we can spend time together and talk more about us okay?”

“Okay.”

“IT’S BEEN THREE months since me and Justin became an item and it’s a special night. It’s his last game of the season. We’re skipping prom. I’m going to surprise him,” I tell Maria, my closest girlfriend. We’re not best friends but we both have boyfriends on the football team so we bonded a little.

“I love it. So, you’re not going to the game?” She’s doodling her name on her text book, ignoring the written work we’re supposed to be doing. As it’s the last day of school, no one is doing their work.

“No, it’s an away game and I have to help Mom move our shit out before the landlord locks the house up with our stuff inside.”

“Where is she moving to?”

I groan, hating to talk about my Mom. “Her boss, Drew, is putting her up for a while.”

Maria just nods her head. Everyone knows what my Mom’s like and I can’t wait to be away from her. This will be my last deed for her and then I’ll be gone with Justin to Florida State, hopefully never to return. She had become better over the last year, she wasn’t seeing anyone and was making more effort at work but she still didn’t really act like a parent. She had never been a loving mother and I only knew the difference of what a mother should be like towards her kids from when Josie was around. But even she left one of her sons. How can we be so easily discarded, not wanted, a hindrance to the people who made us, carried us in their bodies. Weren’t Moms automatically programed to love their kids? I blamed it on the fact she was practically a kid herself when she had me and her maturity seemed to stay at sixteen. I didn’t give Josie an excuse because I didn’t know what she went through behind closed doors with that horrible man she called a husband. Her leaving weighed heavy on Justin’s self-esteem though. They weren’t really close but she was still his mother. She and Jared leaving with no contact left its scars.

After sending Justin a text to tell him I’ll see him later tonight, I go home to help get Mom moved out. Luckily, Drew is helpful and we have her packed up and moved within three hours. I’m glad I took Maria up on skipping the rest of school after lunch and going for a spa treatment, consisting of a full body wax, including a painful bikini wax. We have a mani/pedi, and our hair washed and styled. My plan is to shower at Justin’s then wait naked in his bed for him as his Dad is out of town.

When I arrive, I jolt to a stop, shocked to walk in the front door and straight into a wall of Mr Jacobs.

Stumbling back I mutter an apology. I try side stepping him, but he blocks my path and my heart rate doubles. The echo of his hands on my throat still effecting me after all this time. The choking representing more than just his violence, it was the day part of me died inside.

“You have a key now?” he asks, pinning me with an intolerable glare.

“Justin gave it to me. I’m supposed to meet him here,” I croak, and hate myself for sounding weak.

“You’re just like your whore of a mother. You thought you’d encourage Jared with the music crap, telling him he could make it big just so you could ride the success train, then when he dumped your ass, you moved on to better things with my Justin. Who did your Mom have to fuck to get you in to Florida State?”

I try to swallow but my mouth has completely dried of all saliva. “I worked hard to get a scholarship.” I croak, he’s so bitter and calls my Mom whore yet he was sleeping with her. I want to scream at him for being a hypocrite and an asshole, but my fear prevents me from being able to.

“Worked hard? On your back, or was it on your knees? Damn, you must be a good lay to keep my boy interested. He doesn’t even look at those other tramps who throw themselves at him.”

I hate what he’s saying but I’m pleased to hear Justin only has eyes for me; a twisted girl’s need to feel special against the hurtful words he’s using to describe me.

“You’ll ruin his reputation when he goes pro.” He looks me up and down and licks his lips, making me quiver with disgust and fear. It’s crazy how your body betrays you and turns you back into a defenceless child when the person who plagues your nightmares is standing in front of you. He studies me for what feels like hours before his features smooth out and he nods his head towards the stairs.