The Beast of Renald (The Northern Knights) (34 page)

‘Tis not over. Being held by Raven in that cell…Oh, there is so much wrong here, Darc.’

‘What do you want from me, Caroline? To ask you what he did to you in those three days? Ask you if he fed you well? I can see your body has not suffered so much in that regard nor has your temper.’

She flew at him and he waited for her to strike him, but she did not.

Her wide eyes burned into his. ‘I dare not think you would ask after my well-being, husband.  That would be asking too much of you.’ She spat sarcastically. ‘You fool! Of course ‘tis what I want. But I see now ‘twill never come from you.’

‘I need not ask what I already know well enough. I did not come here to argue with you.’

She gave him a befuddled look and sniffed. ‘I do not understand. Then why have you come?’

‘Did my brother touch you?’

Caroline recoiled, her cheeks flaming. ‘So the truth of it comes out.  Now I know what this burr has been in your side. You have chosen to believe your brother’s lies. That is why you do not wish for me to talk of it.’

He remained silent for a beat. Caroline walked across the room and his words followed her.

‘He had you for over three days, Caroline. A simple aye or nay would do justly. Am I not entitled to that?’

His insult cut her deeply and she was glad she had put some distance betwixt them for she would have slapped him. ‘You have the bollocks of an ox.’

He grunted out an oath under his breath but she heard it. She yelled at him. ‘There is no win with you. I do not know how much more of this I can take.’

He approached her and backed now into a corner by trestle and wall she moved to go around him, but he reached out and swung her back around.

‘He did have at you, then? Caroline, the sooner you stop denying it, the sooner we might be able to get past this.’ 

She read the lie clearly in his clear eyes. Tears of disappointment rolled down her cheeks.

‘
Have at me?
I am not an animal! Think you I wanted to go with that madman?’ she cursed him and snatched her arm out of his grip. He winced, yet reached for her again.

Caroline backed away and held her hands up, palms facing him to ward him off. ‘Please. Do not. Your touch will only be a lie like your words and make it worse. How can you believe your brother’s lies?’ she said the last more to herself than to him and with her shoulders slumped, she walked around him toward the door.

‘He had you for three days. Ample time for more than a little tryst.’

Caroline whirled on him, her fury making her shake as she balled her fists at her sides, glaring at him.

‘Aye, three whole rotten days I prayed every moment to be rescued from that filthy godforsaken hole of stench. Prayed that you, my knight in shining armor would come. We both know how well that turned out. But, nay. Nay! He did not touch me. He only did it in front of you to make a show of his lies. He never had any intent to rape me. He did what he did to get at you. I told you what he told me. Is that not enough for you? He wanted this to happen.’

‘This what?’

“This! This madness!’ She waved her hands at him as she threw them up in exasperation. ‘He said you were no different than he.’

She had not even completed her sentence before his hands wrapped around her neck. His action surprised her and Caroline’s eyes went wide. He loosened his fingers, but did not remove them. His steely blue eyes blazing. He looked for a moment as crazed as his brother had and she told him so. ‘I am
nothing
like him!’

She thrust his hand away but he blocked her path. ‘Had you let me finish you would have known I told him he was mistaken and that you could never be like him. Do you aim to make that an untruth with your recent behavior of late?’

‘Never say I am like him ever again.’

‘Your bellow will not work on me this time, husband. I can bellow back just as well.’ And she did. ‘I will not bother to answer you if you continue to accuse me of your brother. I warned you of this with Cedric.’

‘Cedric was not my brother. I know firsthand my brother’s tendencies to work his magic on a female.’

‘I am not Adelay, Darc.’

He made a sound of disgust and went to the door.  He slammed it and Caroline was left with her thoughts of how could everything have gone so wrong? How could she help this man?

She sought the safety of her chamber and was still trembling when the heavy door shut behind her. She waited until her breath evened out and she spotted Mildred asleep on the chair near the bed and Kelbie lost deep in slumber, snug beneath the furs on the bed.

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Darc was breathing as heavily as his mount when he dismounted near the great doors.  He did not stop walking until his long strides had him standing in front of his wife’s door.

Her scent filled his nostrils. And with a curse he marched down the hall to his own chamber. There he flung off his clothes and tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere but they refused to cooperate. 

Kicking a stool across the room he paced as the emotions and his thoughts took a toll on him. His treatment of her was downright deplorable and he berated himself for it.

Yet, the image of her in Raven’s arms, under his care for three full days was still too fresh in his mind. Even though his brother might now lay dead- try as he might, Darc could not will the feelings away.

Her wide eyes had pleaded with him in wanting to tell him of what had happened. He knew she deserved an explanation. Telling her to not speak of it was how he dealt with things. How he had dealt with everything before her. He just acted and got things done with no explanation needed.  Like on the battlefield, order and strategy. But this field betwixt them was not the same. It was not good. Her crestfallen look had ripped him wide open. 

Still the hurt he had caused her was not comparable to what she and Raven had done to him.  His brother’s last words ate at him day and night.

Whether it happened or not, the mere thought of their possible passionate tryst had destroyed something inside him. He would never know the real truth.

The very idea of Raven’s hands on her flesh had burned into his brain. Festered inside him like a pus-filled boil.

Darc stepped his naked frame into the bath that sat chilled near the hearth. As he picked up the sliver of soap, the memory of her helping him with his bath came to him. He groaned and closed his eyes to the image.

‘You think to deny me?’ Darc asked coldly and waited. Her sullen look ate at him, but her scent lured him and shot down to his loins. He had gone and dragged her to his chamber after his bath. She had said little but squeaked out a moan when he slammed the chamber door behind them. He was breathing heavy and had removed the cloth around his waist. She was looking at him like she had the first time he had brought her here.

‘Nay, I will not deny what you obviously will only take.’ She replied. There was a hint of anger under her hurt tone, but Darc ignored it. She had her demons. He had his and tonight that was his aim, to ease his own.

‘Do you need help to undress?’ he threw at her sarcastically.

‘Nay.’

‘Then make haste.’

When she was naked and on the bed he was on her like a starved wolf.

He wanted to drive all memories of his brother out from her between her thighs, her mind, and body. Wanted to brand her as his once again and rid her of whatever Raven might have done to her and rid himself of his demons. Darc did not meet her gaze, he could not. The stiffness of her body sent him a warning he should stop, but he could not. Soon after he caressed her more, he felt her relax somewhat beneath him. She whimpered when he entered her and he closed his eyes to the sound.

Then he softened a bit when she moved beneath him, her trembling hips meeting his. Her ivory thighs wrapped around his waist and he could not stop the groan that left him. Against her neck he whispered in a torn voice that surprised him just as it angered him. ‘Caroline.’

He expected angry words from her, but she spoke none. And he wished she had instead of what she did mutter next against his ear. ‘My handsome, Darc. I love you.’

He thrust harder and ignored the words that sent a feeling to his heart he did not want to feel. He focused to bring her quickly to release so he could find his own pleasure and silence the beast of desire which raged within him. Her sob-filled cry of completion filled the room and he withdrew and rolled away from her.

Her words screamed inside his head over and over. He felt her stiffen next to him and Darc knew what bothered her. His touch had started out rough but had gentled even more so after her words. Still he could not say the words back.

‘You did not finish.’ She stated and he said nothing. ‘I am not sorry for what I said and if it disturbed you to hear it. I did not say them with the expectation you would say such to me. Control my heart I cannot for you make it next to impossible. One should not speak of it unless one means and feels it. And I do. This black mood you have, I think I understand it. And why you seem angry with me. Much has happened to us both in the past days and not speaking of it, well, ‘twill only fester within. Still, it does not change what my heart feels. Placing anger against anger will not get us anywhere.’

She moved closer to him and Darc shot up and got off the bed. He could make out the sweet lines of her face in the firelight cast from the hearth. Seeing her hurt expression only made him feel worse. His erection left him and he reached for his clothes.

He heard her soft whimper as she left the bed. He sucked in a hard breath and reached for her. ‘Caroline…’

She turned sharply on him and he was struck hard in his chest at the deep pain he saw in her eyes. ‘You need not say aught.’ She reached hastily for her gown and went to the door. Darc closed his eyes when the door shut. 

Back in her chamber Caroline was glad Kelbie still slept and she ordered a bath. She soaked and closed her eyes to rest her whirling thoughts and raging heart. Things would never be right betwixt them if he refused to let her in.

She had not meant to tell him what was in her heart, but it had burst from her before she had a chance to stop it. Now she felt like a stupid fool. Nay! ‘Twas him that was the pig-headed and stubborn fool. Even though Raven now lay dead, Darc was still allowing his brother to control his life.

How dare she speak of love to him? Love was for fools!

Darc rode on, the cool night breeze moving through his hair, Gamble and Faste at his side as Gray took him through the woods to cool his thoughts.  He had gone out to the stables immediately after Caroline had left his chamber.

His thoughts went back to what he and Rourke had discussed. But all that had been before Raven had taken her. Now.

Now, Darc knew not what to do. Breathing heavy he brought Gray to a slow walk. Should he ask her forgiveness for his reaction? Nay. She herself said he should not speak the words unless he felt them. Did he?

Nay! He was fond of her. Aye, deeply fond of her. An ache lanced his chest at his thought. Women and love. There was more to a man and woman than that word between them. Why had she complicated matters further by speaking those words? What the devil had possessed her?

Their sweet lovemaking was more than sufficient. Darc dismounted near the gatehouse of Gest Manor and greeted the young bailiff. He had business to attend here and would think no more on his wife’s declaration. Satisfied with that, he handed the man his reins and strode for the door.

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

Caroline could not shake the sadness from her bones over the next sennight no matter how hard Mildred and Laur tried to help. They did their best to keep Kelbie entertained and give her space. But Caroline kept him most times by her side. She needed to be surrounded by those who loved her.

‘Twas not long that the cause of her ache came looking for her one cold morning right after she had experienced her sickest day yet with her morning sickness. Darc sent her maids flying from her chamber with Kelbie in tow with a nod of his head.

Too ill to look up, Caroline patted the kerchief to her dry mouth as she sat down on the bench at the foot of her bed, exhausted. She had no energy to even ask why he was here. By his long silence, she knew ‘twould not be good. Her day was not going well. A queasy stomach and an aching heart.

‘So you are truly with child?’ His voice shook as if he were afraid to ask. Then he added when she remained silent. ‘You look like you are at death’s door. Mayhap if you drink or eat something you might feel better.’

Caroline could only groan. She knew who had told him of her serious bouts of sickness. Mildred and Laur. All week it had worsened. She had worried, but both women had said ‘twas normal. Some women tended to be sicker than others and there were the few that had no sickness at all. Caroline had wondered why she couldn’t be one.

‘Your compliments are not appreciated. What is it that you want?’ Caroline mumbled, irritated. He had not spoken a word in days and this was the first thing he had to say to her? Unfeeling lout. His concern was false.

‘Your menses before or after?’ came his cold tone.

Caroline looked at him then and replied, her emotions unraveling, ‘I missed my menses ere your brother took me.’

He stiffened and his eyes darkened to an almost blue-green. ‘How am I to be sure or believe that?’

Caroline swallowed the bitter taste of his words and shook her head back and forth. She could bear it no longer. The chasm of pain was winding tighter and tighter around her heart and her head was aching with a pounding headache. ‘‘Tis apparent even your brother’s death has not freed you from your demons.’

His scar whitened and the nod came slowly as he said, ‘Perhaps.’

She heard the tremor in his tone and did not know if it was from anger or fear; he was so unreadable in this moment. And she was too ill to care.

 ‘Believe it or not. It no longer makes a difference to me.’ She told him wearily and she had not realized how true it was till she had spoken the words. Aye, she was tired of this.