The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition) (4 page)

“We could go and
run naked through the trees if you want.” Claire pulled a face and
hummed. “We won't get hit by lightning or anything.”

“Oh, I'm sure
we'll get funny looks.”

Paige snorted and
shuffled the deck of cards. “I don't mind. I go home tomorrow.”
Claire's face fell a little as Paige reminded her friend about her
forthcoming departure; they had spent most of the week with each
other. They swam, sunbathed, cooked, played tennis, walked and even
sang together. For the first time in years, Paige had found someone
she liked on holiday and had the beginnings of a good friendship
with the normally reserved Claire.

“I got four more
days,” Claire replied. “But Dad says he wants to go outside the
site tomorrow, so we might be going sight-seeing. Not that there is
much to see.”

“Mum and Dad have
done that today,” Paige muttered. “Not sure what they plan to see,
but there must be something that interests them!” Her eyes lowered
to the table in front of them. “So … cards?” Paige asked and held
up the deck. Claire groaned and complained that she didn't know any
card games, so Paige taught her Poker so well that the teacher lost
the first five hands to her student.

Claire giggled as
the rain hammered on the flat roof of the pavilion and both of the
girls turned to the window that looked out onto the centre of the
camp site and they saw the harassed figure of Hazel run past the
window. Paige chortled and walked to the glass front, causing a
cold draft to chill the residents as she opened the PVC door and
beckoned to her sister.

She was soaking;
her long red hair was dripping wet and her long-sleeved T-shirt was
almost see through. “Come in,” Paige ordered and Hazel's eyes
narrowed.

“Where's Mum? Is
she back yet?”

“I thought you
were with them,” Paige replied, shrieking as the guttering leaked
cold rain onto her naked body. “I've not seen them.”

Hazel grunted and
threw her hands in the air. “Oh for God's sake! She's got my coat
in the car.”

“Well come in,
you'll freeze to death out there.”

Hazel hesitated,
but her elder sister glared at her and she relented by stomping
into the room and sitting down at the table with Claire. “Hi,”
Claire offered and smiled at the angry teenager. “Cards?”

“Oh, and get those
clothes off,” Paige demanded as she sat down. Hazel shook her head
and crossed her arms. “You'll freeze to death, you must be
freezing. Sitting in wet clothes is silly.”

“No! I don't want
to.”

“Oh for Christ's
sake,” Paige cried and tapped the table. “Stop being so stupid.”
She waved her arms in front of her sister. “No-one cares about …
them!”

Hazel clenched her
fists and grimaced. “Just leave me alone.”

“No, you have
spoilt this holiday by being so awkward. We only came away together
as a family after what you tried to do.”

“You always bring
that up,” Hazel spat and wiped her eyes. “I just don't want to be
naked, and it's not because of them.”

Paige grabbed her
sister's wrist and ran her hand up her arm, forcing the wet
long-sleeved T-shirt to her elbow. Hazel tried to pull away, but
Paige was stronger and showed Claire the wrists of her sister.
“Then you can sit like this, 'cause you aren't afraid of showing
them.”

“Are they ...”
Claire muttered and looked at the pained face of Paige's sister.
“Oh, right.”

Hazel tore her
hand from her elder sister's grasp and pulled her clothing down to
cover the fading scars. “Just leave me alone,” she spat and looked
at the rain rattling against the window.

Paige dealt out
cards to Claire and her sister, but Hazel refused to play, and
Paige's bad luck continued as Claire won the vast majority of the
hands dealt. Hazel sat, watching the two girls play and banter,
refusing to join in and sulking.

Paige turned to
her sister and begged her to participate, but she refused, and just
brooded. “Hey, you two,” the barman shouted as he walked from the
bar into the games' area. “I got the karaoke machine plugged in if
you want to use it.”

Claire looked at
Paige and smiled. “Sure,” Claire muttered and tapped the table.
“Shall we?”

“Yeah, OK!” Paige
cried and jumped up. “I'm fed up with you beating me at cards.”
Claire giggled at Paige, who looked at Hazel, and held out her
hand. “Come join us, please!”

Hazel shock her
head. “I can't sing,” the young sister muttered. “I can't …”

“You can,” Paige
implored, but Hazel just shook her head, and sat unmoved in her
chair as her sister and her sister’s friend gleefully climbed onto
the stage to entertain a pavilion full of bored naturists.

* *
* * *

“These are
incredible,” Andre announced as he looked over the small stall in
the craft market. “Really incredible. The effort in these … just
wow!”

The scruffy man
nodded, but Andre couldn't see any smile as the gentleman's facial
hair covered most of his mouth. Andre looked back to the table and
looked at the oddly-shaped fruit and vegetables. Each item was
intricately carved into a small statue or ornament. He was
enchanted by a small pirate boat made from a potato, complete with
sails and a mast and handed over £20 for the item.

The man put the
item into a cake box. “Do you have any representation?”

He froze as he
passed the potato to the agent, who took a business card from his
wallet. “Representation?”

“Yeah, I work for
Incredible Talents, and the skill involved in these items is
incredible. I'd love to represent you; get you doing demonstrations
on television, markets, fairs and the like.”

“Oh,” he muttered
gruffly. “You're not a lawyer?”

“No,” Andre
replied, a little surprised at the question. “No I am not a lawyer.
Do I look like one?”

The scruffy artist
grunted and sniffed. “Nah, I dain't need yer help,” he told
him.

“But this is very
unique. Who would have thought you could make Big Ben out of a
parsnip or Wayne Rooney out of a turnip. It's brilliant and …”

“I don't need ya
help,” the artist barked, and Andre backed away. “You legal types
are all the same aren't you?” He picked up an uncarved potato from
behind his display and threw it towards the retreating man. He
flinched as the root vegetable arced in the air and landed with a
thud on his arm.

“Ow!”

“Get out of here!”
Andre turned to see dozens of people watching the unfolding scene
and chatter broke out in hushed whispers.

“Don't mind ole
Jake,” a gruff man told Andre as the confused agent walked past his
stall. “He's always tetchy when he's in court the next day.”

“Court?”

“Yeah, flashing.
Dirty bastard was up at the girls' school.”

“Right,” Andre
muttered. “Cheers.” He turned and looked at the man, sitting behind
his stall, and glanced at the soaps on display.

“What did you want
with him?”

“Nothin' now,”
Andre muttered and held out a bar of eucalyptus soap. “Not with
that sort of record!”

* *
* * *

Jack sat down at
the dining table and looked across at his parents. “We said that a
gap year would be a bad idea,” they reminded him. “We told you nine
months ago when you skipped on your University application.”

“That was Ellie,”
he moaned, thinking briefly of his ex-girlfriend. “It's not my
fault she's in the year below, and she wanted us to go to Uni
together.”

His father tapped
his fingers. “You're a Rees-Montague, man. Little bit of fluff
would've waited. Told you to put your foot down.” Jack shrugged and
looked at the bulging veins in his father's face. The father took a
sip of his whisky and rubbed his chin.

“We don't want you
moping around the house all day for a year,” his mother told him.
“Or going to those ghastly places in the third world to do, what
they call, charity work.”

“Absolutely,” his
father boomed. “Not going to Africa, or South America. Or Croydon.”
He laughed at his own joke as Jack sat unmoved.

“Well I was sort
of planning to get a job,” he told his parents. “Just to earn a bit
of money and, you know.” He shrugged. “I haven't thought about
where, just get my exams out the way.”

“Well, it's a
bloody good job that I have, isn't it? You can work at the factory
for the year.”

Jack gulped and
stammered. “I'm … ummm … I'm … well, I'm not sure …”

“Nonsense,” his
father shouted. “It'll be partly yours one day. Best to see how it
all works. You can work under me, and we'll have you being useful
in no time.”

“It wasn't the
sort of work I was hoping to do. I got some part-time …”

“Nonsense! Some
7am starts and 9pm finishes'll do you good,” his father
interrupted, ignoring the reticence of his son.

“I think it's a
great idea,” the voice of his mother exclaimed. “I think it will do
you good.”

“Proper days
work,” his father added. “When you finish those exams of yours,
we'll get you started.”

“But …”

“No buts,” his
father shouted over the top of his son. “All those things you've
had, the driving lessons, the recording studio above the garage,
the £2,000 bike you don't use, the car, the … everything. They all
had to be paid for. You can learn how hard it is to earn those sums
so maybe you might appreciate them a bit more.”

“Yeah I know, but
…”

His father
glared at him, and Jack trailed off; it was pointless to argue.

1. Chapter
   IV
   

“All packed?”

“Yeah, sort of,”
Paige muttered and sat in the field with the sausage sandwiches her
parents had prepared. Claire took a crisp from Paige's packet and
took a sip of her own can of fizzy cola. “Dad would quite like the
tents to dry a bit before packing them but apart from that we're
done. It's easier if you can get a villa,” Paige teased. “But we
aren't all upper middle-class like you.”

“Err … not
fair!”

“Yeah, I know,” Paige added with a grin. “We booked
late, 'cause of Hazel.” Claire said nothing but Paige tapped her
fingers together as she thought. “You know, no-one's ever really
talked to me about it.” She looked at her friend who was listening
intently. “My friends at home never wanted to talk much about it.
She got counselling and Mum and Dad doted over her, but no-one
cared about me.” Paige took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. “I
found her, in a pool of blood in the kitchen. I had left my
homework on the worktop and went back to get it and she was there,
lifeless. I think she hates me for stopping her, from doing
it.”

Claire said
nothing as she thought for a few moments before swallowing and
muttering. “I can't imagine she would hate you, surely?”

“Oh I don't know.
She just can't get happy. She won't join in anything at all,
refuses to go to school half the time and Mum won't let her stay at
home alone. It's causing all sorts of fights. She has a CPN, but
she's really struggling, and she won't talk to me or anyone. She
just shuts herself in our room and can't accept any help.” Paige
took a gulp of her drink and snorted. “I mean, we used to talk all
the time. We share a bedroom, but I can't go in when she is in
there and ... well I am her big sister, and she used to bring me
all her problems. If it was boys in her class pulling her hair when
she was five, or being bullied 'cause she was ginger or whatever, I
was there for her. She came to me when she lost her cherry at
thirteen and not Mum. But in the last year, she's just isolated
herself from everyone. And then tries to end her own life, I mean,
how does that make me feel?”

Claire listened as
Paige listed her concerns and worries about her younger sister, and
offered her a tissue as the red-headed firebrand sobbed. “It's not
easy,” Claire told her. “But I guess she knows how much you love
her by all the effort you make.”

“She just thinks I
am getting at her, but I'm not. I just want her to smile and be
happy, and if she can't do that, talk to me. But I can't get her to
do anything,” Paige moaned and saw the chubby figure of her brother
running up the hill. “Anything would be good. Just any sort of
smile, but she won't.” She wiped her eyes, but Jeremy pulled up as
he reached the steepest part of the incline.

“Mum says ten
minutes,” he panted as he got within 30 metres of his sister and
she acknowledged him with a wave.

“Sure,” Paige
shouted and turned back to her friend. “You said you lived in South
London.”

“Yeah,” Claire
replied. “Little place called Purley, it's …”

“It's in Croydon,”
Paige finished for her. “I know Purley. I live in Selhurst. It's
not the posh end of the town.”

Claire chortled.
“When will you believe that I am not upper-class. My mum works for
someone who is, but we are just a normal family.”

“Yeah?” Paige
teased. “Four bedroom detached?”

“Three bedroom
terraced,” Claire replied sanctimoniously, and Paige shrugged.

“We live in a
three bedroom flat above a shop.” Claire shrugged, and Paige just
ran her hands through her red hair. “And I bet during the riots
last year they didn't try and set fire to your house.”

“No,” Claire
muttered and Paige packed up the litter from their small picnic
into a bag. “But I wouldn't mind meetin' up and just chilling or
whatever. Especially as we live so local.”

“Yeah,” Paige said
instantly and two girls swapped numbers and addresses.

* *
* * *

“It's all about
sex,” Greg cried as he stretched out in his leather chair. He
reached for his latte and leant back only to find the takeaway cup
leaked over his tie when tilted at such an angle.

Andre smiled to
himself as his uncle frantically righted himself and then fell off
his chair as the scorching hot liquid scolded him through his white
shirt. “Pardon?”