The Bachelor's Sweetheart (15 page)

“You never said anything to me.” Josh stopped. “But you did to Jared.” His words sounded like an accusation. Josh fought the long-standing sibling rivalry between him and Jared and the hurt that after how hard he'd tried to be there for Connor after Jared left, Connor had turned to their older brother instead of him.

“Jared and Becca...”

“Were happily married,” Josh finished, “and I was drifting, playing the field.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's fine. What I need to know is how you got by those obstacles.”

“After a sufficient number of stupid blunders, mostly on my part, and some serious prayer, we both put them behind us and left them there in the past.”

“I want to do that for Tessa. With Dad, too, for her.” Josh ignored the frown Connor gave him when he said
for her
. Connor's expecting him to forgive their father, as if half their childhoods hadn't existed, was asking too much.

“All right. Big questions. Do you love her?”

“We're best friends.”

“Not what I asked. Do you love her?”

“Seriously. How would I know? I've never loved anyone but you and Jared and Mom and Gram. I have feelings for Tessa.”

“Friendship and feelings are a start.”

“Are they enough? Tessa, all women, have expectations I don't think I can fulfill.”

“Don't sell yourself short, big bro. Test the waters. Tell Tessa about the promotion. See what she thinks.”

Josh checked the time on his cell phone and pushed up from the chair. “I've got to get over to the school. Our game is at eleven today.”

“Okay. Think about what I said.”

Josh nodded. “You... Natalie had problems. Almost didn't get together?”

“You've got it. Talk to Tessa. And pray for guidance.”

“This.” Josh pointed his finger back and forth between himself and Connor. “Between us only. I can still take you down one hand tied behind my back if I want to.”

“So you think.”

“So I know.”

Josh got to the soccer field as the earlier game was finishing. He climbed to the top row of the bleachers away from everyone else and watched the clouds overhead break away into blue sky. Josh took Connor's advice and bowed his head. Connor was the man, even if he was his little brother.

Lord, please help me see things clearly and give me a direction, along with the strength to follow that direction
. The thought that his path might be a life without Tessa shot through him like a careening bomb set on annihilation.
Even if I don't like where Your direction is taking me
.

When he raised his head, Josh spotted Tessa crossing the grass to the field, the equipment duffel flung over her shoulder. He took a moment to admire her athletic grace before bounding down the bleachers.

“Hey,” he called. “I thought you'd see my truck in the lot and text me to come help with the equipment.” He reached for the duffel.

“Think I can't handle it?” She feigned a duck away from his hand.

He caught hold of the cord and she released her grip. “Not for a moment,” he said.

When they reached the field, he dropped the equipment bag on the ground next to the bleachers and flexed his fingers.

“Is something wrong?” Tessa asked.

He waited until the last person from the earlier game passed them. “No, something's right. Anne didn't just tell me about approving the project manager position yesterday. She offered it to me.”

“But last night—”

“I wasn't ready to tell you. I needed to process things.”

“Your father being here?”

“And a lot more.” He studied her face. Did she realize he meant her, them?

“Is it what you want?”

“I think so.” Both the job and Tessa. “It's a good opportunity for advancement, and I like the people I work with.”

“But you're not sure. You've been talking about leaving the area for a position with GreenSpaces elsewhere since the day we met, more so lately.”

Josh heard Tessa's comment as unspoken concern about his relationship with his father. That, or he was too fixated on it himself. Why was he waffling? He could handle his father. The move to project manager was what he'd been working toward the past three years with his Utica PolyTech distance learning courses. “No, I
am
sure. On Monday, I'm going to tell Anne I accept the job.”

Tessa clapped and threw her arms around his shoulders in a quick hug. “I'm glad. Congratulations,” she said, releasing him.

His gaze dropped to her lips.
So close.

She stepped back at the sound of children's voices in the background. Hope and Owen were racing across the grass, arguing, his father following behind.

Josh shook his hands to unfreeze the tension that immediately infused his every muscle. He could only hope the congratulations on his decision weren't premature.

* * *

A burnt smell drifted from the kitchen, bringing Tessa at a full run from the dining room where she'd been arranging daffodils, tulips and violets from her grandmother's flower gardens. What was she thinking, inviting Josh to a home-cooked celebration dinner when he'd texted her this morning that he'd accepted the promotion? She didn't cook.

Her spaghetti sauce—made from jar sauce with a few extra ingredients her grandmother had suggested—bubbled over the side of the pot to join the puddle on the stovetop that was running onto the burner. She grabbed a pot holder and the big metal spoon from the utensil holder above the stove and sighed with relief when a few deep stirs to the bottom of the pan assured her the only burnt sauce was the stuff on the stovetop. After wiping up the spill and turning on the exhaust fan above the stove, she put water on to boil for the pasta, the last thing she needed to do. Tessa checked the clock and admired her masterpiece cooling on the counter—a strawberry-rhubarb pie, Josh's favorite, made from his grandmother's recipe. She'd called Mrs. Stowe, who'd graciously shared it. The salad was in the refrigerator. Everything was set.

“Mmmm. It smells good in here.” Tessa's grandmother sniffed the air as she entered the kitchen. “When is Josh coming?”

“I told him six.”

“Marie will be by about quarter of to pick me up.”

Knowing her grandmother had plans for the evening had seemed perfect this morning when Tessa had asked Josh over. Now, thinking back over the week and the awkwardness of her growing attraction to Josh, she wondered if there wouldn't be more safety in numbers.

“No rush. I've made plenty if you and Mrs. Delacroix want to eat with us before you go to your meeting.”

“I wouldn't think of it,” her grandmother said. “If you want, I'll put the pasta in so you can change.”

Tessa looked at her sauce-spattered T-shirt and jeans. Everything was set, except her. She hadn't even thought about what to wear. Preparing the food had taken all her concentration, and it wasn't as if she usually gave any thought what to wear to hang with Josh. But tonight didn't feel like just hanging out.

“That would be great,” Tessa said.

Her grandmother lifted the pan lid to see if the pasta water was boiling. “I washed and dried that heather top that looks so nice on you, along with the skirt you often wear with it. They're up on your bed.”

“Okay. Thanks.” She'd gotten several compliments on the crocheted-lace-trimmed T-shirt and flowing calf-length skirt when she'd worn the outfit to church. But it was kind of dressy for her everyday wear. She expected Josh would go home and change into jeans before coming over.

“Scoot,” Grandma said. “Or he'll be here before you're back down.”

Then she wouldn't have to decide what to wear. Of course, Grandma had already done that for her anyway. She walked upstairs. Her usual jeans and a blouse would be fine. Why was she obsessing about what to wear anyway? Josh probably wouldn't notice what she had on. She opened her bedroom door and saw the clothes her grandmother had laid out on the bed, along with Tessa's amethyst pendant and matching teardrop earrings. But she wanted Josh to notice. She wanted to feel pretty for him, make him see her as more than a buddy.

Tessa quickly showered, put on the softly feminine outfit and jewelry and ran a hairbrush through her chestnut waves. She pulled her hair back to pin it up in a knot as she usually wore and stopped, releasing the strands to cascade over her shoulders.
No
. Tonight was a celebration. She'd wear it down. Josh had told her she looked nice when she wore her hair down for Connor's wedding. She added some mascara and lipstick and twirled around in front of the mirror, sending the gauzy fabric of the multicolored skirt swirling out around her knees. Now she was set, too. As set as she was going to be.

On the way downstairs, her heart thumped with anticipation, tempered by a longing to cross back over into just-friends territory. She moistened her lips and swallowed the phantom taste of Chianti in her mouth, a reminder of the Tessa Josh had to recognize and accept if they were going to move forward to test the relationship she wanted.

“Hey,” Josh said when Tessa reached the doorway from the stairs to the living room.

His gaze rested on her until she wondered if she'd put her top on inside out or something.

“Your grandmother let me in on her way out and said you'd be right down.”

Tessa waltzed off the last step. “Well, here I am.”

“So you are. You look pretty. I like your hair like that.”

“Thank you. You look nice, too.” Josh had dressed up, too, or not changed from his work clothes.
No, no way his Dockers would have held a sharp crease like that all day long.

Tessa smoothed her skirt and lowered her gaze to her bare feet and Barney-the-Dinosaur-purple toenails.

His gaze followed. “Nice touch.” His mouth curved in a warm smile that stopped short of being his typical grin.

She felt her cheeks pink. What was wrong with her? He'd certainly seen her feet before. “I'll just go slip on my shoes. They're in the kitchen.” She'd left her wedge pumps by the door after church yesterday. “And check on dinner.”

Josh rose. Shoeless, she felt diminutive beside him.

“I'll come give you a hand.”

“Of course. You didn't think I was going to wait on you, did you?”

“Never.” Josh followed her into the kitchen.

“The plates and cups are in the upper cupboard and the flatware is in the drawer next to the sink.” In companionable silence, Tessa put the pasta and sauce in serving bowls and placed them on the table while Josh put out the place settings. She grabbed the salad from the refrigerator.

Josh surveyed the table when he'd finished. “I'm starving. Is that everything? It all looks and smells delicious.”

“Because you're starving?”

“No, because it does. And is that a strawberry-rhubarb pie there on the counter by any chance?”

“It is. I got the recipe from your grandmother.” Which she hoped assured her success, since it was the first pie she'd ever baked.

“Home-cooked food. Pie. You've gone all out,” he said.

“It's not every day we have something this big to celebrate.”

Josh's eyes flickered before brightening, interrupting the reassuring camaraderie that had been guiding Tessa into a familiar comfortable rhythm with him.

“Yep. College done. Check. Project manager job. Check. I aced it again, right on schedule.”

Tessa laughed. “With that, I think it's time to get your mouth doing something other than talking.” She reached for the back of her chair, but Josh got there first and pulled it out for her with a flourish. “Thanks,” she said. “Now sit.”

Once Josh was in the chair across from her, Tessa bowed her head. “Dear Lord, thank You for this food and the opportunities You have given both of us.” She paused for a nanosecond. “Right here. Use us to Your service. Amen.”

“Amen,” Josh said, picking up his fork and taking his time swirling the spaghetti around it.

“It's safe,” she said. Josh was fully aware of her cooking abilities and lack thereof.

He completed the spin. “It's not that.” As if to prove his point, Josh shoveled in the forkful of spaghetti.

Tessa fingered her pendant. Was he having second thoughts? As long as she'd known Josh, he'd been talking about leaving the Paradox Lake area.

“I have to go to the Boston office for a couple of weeks to shadow one of the project managers there as training. Even though I won't be starting the new manager position here until they hire a new drafter to replace me, Anne wants me to leave first thing tomorrow morning. The manager I'm going to shadow will be on vacation for a couple of weeks beginning week after next.”

“You don't sound very enthused.”

“I am. It'll be great to get some hands-on direction and see how a larger office operates.” He placed his fork on his plate. “It's the Majestic.”

Tessa waved him off with relief. “Not to worry. You've got the new wiring done, except for the kitchen area you partitioned off and the stage lights. We can all pitch in on getting the new wallboard up in there once you get back and wire the kitchen. Myles and I can handle the taping and painting. After you get back, we'll still have a couple of weeks until the opening.”

Josh released his breath in a puff. “It's not the wiring or the walls. It's the stage floor. I was looking at it yesterday, to get Myles going refinishing it to match the new dining floor. I found what looks like old carpenter ant damage to some of the under flooring and support beams.”

“Oh. Did you go ahead and call an exterminator? You didn't have to wait and clear it with me.”

Josh nodded. “They're coming Wednesday. But that's not the real problem. The stage isn't safe. It has to be rebuilt.”

“Can Myles and I work on it while you're gone?”