The Baby Bond (9 page)

All thoughts of getting rid of Nic fled. Cassidy stacked the colorful toys into an empty clothes basket and shoved it against the wall.

“What did she say?”

Nic dangled a set of plastic keys in front of the baby. “According to Mom, Alex has a big adjustment to make. Because of the new formula, he probably
is
having some colic like we thought last night, but the bigger issue is he’s missing the familiar. He may only be a few months old, but he knew his mother and father. Now, when he’s tired and nighttime comes, he looks for them. He wants them.”

An ache of sorrow, never far away, surged inside Cassidy. She missed them, too. She wanted them, too. How much more, then, would a tiny baby long for his mother and father?

She slid onto the sofa to stroke Alex’s hair. “She’s right. He does. I hadn’t realized it but he checks out every new face as if hoping to find Janna or Brad.”

Both adults gazed at Alex. Nic spoke. “Sad deal.”

Her heart heavy, Cassidy murmured softly, “I can never replace them.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing the best you can in a tragic situation. Mom says for you to just keep keeping on. In time he’ll bond firmly to you and everything will be great.”

In time. She didn’t have time. Her job was floundering. Her body was a wreck. Beyond her work and Alex’s care, she had the issues of Janna’s estate to deal with. Talking to Grandmother made things worse, not better. She had no time.

More than anything she wanted Alex to be a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child. She prayed that she had what it took to give him that. God would not have put her in this position if she couldn’t handle it. Would He?

Nic’s cell phone played the “Looney Toons” theme. Nic whipped the phone from his pocket and held the music out for Alex’s reaction before speaking into the mouthpiece. “Party Central.”

Immediately Cassidy was aware that a female was on the other end. She tensed.

For some inexplicable reason listening to Nic chat up a girlfriend in her apartment made Cassidy uncomfortable.

She got up from the sofa, went into the kitchen and began slamming cabinets and rattling dishes. There was so much to do. Besides, she had no desire to hear Nic flirt with one of his girls. Really. He was exactly as she remembered—an irresponsible charmer. Not that she cared. Not that she was interested.

She was simply grateful for his help. Last night, she’d been out of her mind to call him. Now, she’d have to be rude to get rid of him. But she couldn’t do that. He and his family had been godsends—literally sent by God to help her and Alex in their time of need.

So now what was she supposed to do?

Wrinkling her nose at the sour smell, she dumped clabbered formula from a bottle she’d found in the bottom of the diaper bag and added the nurser to the others in the dishwasher.

An arm snaked around from behind her and added yet another bottle to the dishwasher. Cassidy jumped. She hadn’t
heard his approach. “Will you stop sneaking up on me?”
And will you stop forcing me to think about you?

Standing a tad too close, he grinned, unrepentant. “You smell good.”

She made a face, but her pulse tripped. “If you’re fond of baby puke.”

Nic laughed. He had a great laugh. “Look, I gotta go.”

No surprise there. His entourage had called.

“But first, I have an idea.”

“This came from your conversation with—what was her name?—Brittany?”

Drying her hands on a paper towel, she glanced around him, past the table and chairs into the open living area. Alex rested in his swing, grabbing happily at the overhead circus animals, the swing tick-tocking to the tune of “The Greatest Show on Earth.”

“Brittany’s a pal. We hang out.”

A pal? Uh-huh. Bet Brittany didn’t think that way. “So what’s your idea?”

“I’m on duty tomorrow.”

Cassidy stiffened at the reminder. Fire. Death.

“Can’t come over.”

Cassidy fluttered a hand against her chest. “You’re breaking my heart.”

Nic’s lips twitched. “Smart mouth. We’re talking about the little dude here. He’s wild about me. What will he think if Uncle Nic doesn’t stop by?”

“Modest,” she said, rolling her eyes. But Nic was right. Alex lit up and hushed up when Nic played with him. “Don’t worry about it. Now that I know what’s wrong, I can handle everything.”

Nic’s voice gentled. “We all need a little help now and then, Cassidy.” He touched her arm. Cassidy stepped back, breaking
contact. If Nic noticed, he didn’t react. “So what I’m thinking is this. The folks are having a cookout Sunday after church. You’re invited. I’ll pick you up about one o’clock. Baby advice from renowned Carano experts will flow. Many hands will hold and play with him, giving you a break. What do you say?”

What she wanted to say was “No way, get out, I don’t understand why I’m letting you in my house.” What she actually said was much nicer. “Life is crazy right now, Nic. I don’t think so.”

“All the more reason to come.” He started toward the door, stopping to hand Alex a rattle before moving on.

“Thanks, Nic, but I can’t.”

He opened the door, then turned and pointed. “Think about it. I’ll call you.”

His footsteps echoed down the stairwell. Cassidy closed the door and looked at the baby happily babbling to a plastic lion. “Did Notorious Nic just ask me out?”

A
curl of smoke snaked beneath the rubble of wood and brick where the ten-year-old lay trapped beneath a demolished school building. Cassidy could see the terrified, dirt-covered girl. Poor baby, she thought, and then with horror realized the child was her.

Her pulse jackhammered.

Somehow it had happened again. The earthquake had come back for her.

She struggled, fighting the rubble. Not again. Not again.

“Mama! Daddy!”

The acrid smell of smoke crept closer. Fire was coming. She couldn’t see it but it was coming. And she couldn’t escape.

Something above her shifted. She tried to look up, but all was dark. The building trembled. Cassidy tensed, praying that nothing else struck her. She was thirsty. Her head pounded like the distant hammering.

Her legs and back ached, too, from the weight holding her captive beneath the school building—or what was left of it. Where were her friends? Where was her teacher? Where were Mama and Daddy? Why didn’t they come?

“Somebody, please,” she whimpered. Dust and ash flowed into her mouth.

Then the fire was upon her with its monster roar, licking at her face and hands. She was hot, burning.

She screamed…and bolted upright in bed.

For a second she didn’t know where she was. She blinked into the darkness. All was quiet. No fire. No hammering. No painful press of rubble. Only the silky slide of sheets against her legs.

Realization flowed in and with it relief, sweet enough to taste. She was safe. She was an adult, not a helpless child, alone and trapped beneath a crumbling school.

Shaking all over and drenched in sweat, Cassidy rubbed both hands down her face. Her heart thudded loudly in the silence.

“A nightmare,” she whispered into the darkness. The earthquake hadn’t returned. She’d been dreaming again as she hadn’t done in years.

Somewhere nearby, a siren wailed, a haunting cry of despair.

Cassidy kicked back the sheet that had wadded and tangled around her legs and went to the window of her second-floor apartment. The sirens must have awakened her. Either that or they’d invaded her subconscious and set off the dream.

She blew out a long, shuddering breath.

Nic Carano was on duty tonight. He was out there somewhere, facing the beast, facing death. She didn’t want to worry about him, but she did. He’d saved Alex. He’d tried to save Janna.

Grief washed through her at the thought of her beloved sister, gone forever. She sagged against the window.

Though the night was warm, the smooth wood beneath her feet was as cold as her insides. With a shiver, she wrapped her arms around her waist and stared out into the dark night. Streetlights cast eerie shadows onto the parking lot below. No one stirred in this residential neighborhood.

Another siren added to the mournful cry.

Someone in this pleasant, upscale city had awakened to a living nightmare. Nic was out there with them.

“Father in Heaven,” she whispered against the cool windowpane. “Don’t let anyone die tonight. Surround them with your protection. Just as you protected the children of Israel from the fiery furnace, protect Nic and his crew and the people they’re trying to help.”

Yet the prayer didn’t stop the quaking in her middle.

A week ago she wouldn’t have given Nic Carano a thought. Regardless of her resistance, he’d charmed his way into her life. He’d been kind to Alex. Now he could die. In the short time they’d been reacquainted, she’d already heard stories about his antics. Nic Carano was not a cautious man.

She put a hand to her throat. This was why she couldn’t let Nic come any nearer. This was why she’d refused his invitation. The danger was too great.

Trying to shake off the morbid thoughts, Cassidy padded into the nursery. The glow of the angel night-light illuminated Alex’s round, cherubic face. Fist against his bow-shaped mouth, he stirred and made sucking noises but didn’t awaken with his usual howl. For once, the baby slept soundly. It was the aunt who couldn’t rest.

Reassured that Alex was safe, Cassidy moved from room to room checking each smoke detector. Satisfied that all were activated, she returned to bed.

In the dark silence, Cassidy willed her heartbeat to slow, willed her mind to stop circling around the nightmare and prayed for Alex’s rescuer.

Sleep didn’t come for the longest time.

Cassidy had thought about the nightmare—and Nic—all the next day and finally satisfied her concerns that evening by
phoning Rosalie Carano. Nic was fine, as she’d known he would be, and then she’d felt a little silly for calling. True to her nature, Nic’s mother had been warm and wonderful, a fact that made Cassidy acutely aware that she’d rarely had a mother to turn to in times of need. It also made her aware that there was more to Nic than he let on.

She and Rosalie had ended up talking about the Lord and babies and finally about Nic. Cassidy hadn’t wanted to hear charming stories about the firefighter, but courtesy bade her listen.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, by the time Sunday rolled around, the troublesome firefighter had telephoned twice and appeared on her doorstep another two times. He was becoming a pest. An attractive pest, yes, but an uncomfortable one, as well.

What did the man want anyway? Certainly not her. He had a host of women at his beck and call. Besides, if she was in the market for a man—which she wasn’t—Nic could not be the one. He had two strikes against him. He was Notorious Nic with a girl for every day of the week, and more importantly, his job gave her nightmares. She would never, ever date a man who risked death every time he went to work.

Alex the traitor, however, went into ecstatic gyrations at the sound of Nic’s voice. The baby was too young to associate the man with the event that had changed his life forever. Unfortunately for Cassidy, she remembered all too clearly.

Yet, Nic still came over. He still called. And the bond between him and Alex grew exponentially.

“We’re not going to the cookout, Alex, and that’s all there is to it,” she said to the baby cradled in her arms. Muddy blue-brown eyes gazed earnestly back at her as his greedy mouth pulled on a bottle of formula.

“No use making a fuss,” she went on. “Like half the female
population of Northwood, you are enamored of Nic’s charm. You simply don’t understand the problems the way I do.”

And understand she did. Nic brought back too many memories, too much pain. Being around him had uncovered the shallow grave of buried trauma. Twice more this week she’d had nightmares. Though these were a combination of the earthquake that had stolen her parents and the fire that killed Janna, they were both vivid and terrifying. The residual effects lingered for hours afterward, stealing any hope of sleep.

Cassidy squeezed her eyes tight against the visions. She was so tired, like a minnow swimming upstream against a flood.

That morning in church she’d experienced a few minutes of peace and comfort. People were kind, thoughtful, interested in the tragedy that had made her Alex’s guardian, but once outside the church doors, Cassidy felt alone again. She was certain the feeling was magnified by the unrelenting fatigue.

If only she had time to lie down and take a long, long nap. Three weeks’ worth.

Alex waved his chubby arms as if to remind her that he was with her. A bubble of love replaced her melancholy thoughts.

Without Alex she might have sunk into despair and never come out again.

“I love you.” Cassidy leaned forward to kiss the slobbery face, an action she’d have considered a little disgusting a few short weeks ago. Now, everything about Alex struck her as precious and beautiful. In unexpected moments like this, a kind of love she couldn’t explain flooded over her in sweet waves.

The telephone jangled. Holding Alex in one arm with the bottle stuck under her chin, she answered the phone with the opposite hand. “Hello.”

“Cassidy. This is Grandmother.”

Cassidy’s shoulders tensed. “How are you, Grandmother?”

“The question, dear, is how are you?”

“Coping.”

The nasal voice pounded at her. “Exhausted? Frustrated? Realizing that raising a child is not an easy task?”

All that and more, but she was not about to admit as much to Grandmother.

“We’re getting along great,” she said with false cheer. “Alex is a wonderful baby.”

A moment of silence hummed between them. Cassidy remained quiet, determined not to let her grandmother know how difficult things had been.

“I know of a good family here in Dallas that would be willing to take him.” Eleanor’s tone was crisp and businesslike, as though she was selling real estate.

Cassidy’s jaw tightened against the wash of pain. Had Grandmother ever loved anyone? “We’ve discussed this. Alex stays with me permanently. The subject is closed.”