The Audubon Reader (34 page)

Our Minister
Albert Gallatin has been extremely kind to me, he called upon me the 2nd day after I arrived [and] will present me to the King if it pleases his Majesty to have a Levee before I depart. Of course it will be necessary for me to visit London from time to time as my work goes on. I am glad that subscribers that I have already procured is sufficient to afford a full continuance of the publication. In the course of twelvemonth more it is now more
than probable that this business connected with the publication of my work will need a secondary assistance and if by then I feel perfectly assured that all will be safe I will have Victor at the head of it. You are, my dear Lucy, quite mistaken about the habits of this country and a young man attending to such a business is neither a rambler or considered as such by anyone, but on the contrary, I am looked on and received with more kindness under the appellation of author of
The Birds of America
than nine-tenths of the rich merchants who travel as I do to collect and settle their affairs. Thou has an idea that, for instance, to go about to collect subscribers is a great loss of time to a young man, but I am fully persuaded that, on the contrary, it is the means of procuring such a knowledge of men and of their habits without which little can be done in our circle.

But my wish is not that Victor should collect subscribers but superintend the whole management of the work and give me the means of settling myself awhile. I assure thee that if I can procure as many as 500 subscribers it will be an immense revenue, quite sufficient to make us all comfortable for the rest of our days, and I do not see why I should not, when in the course of 3 months that I have been employed at it, I have already 94. It is a work that to be sure not every individual can reach, but I think an advantage is attached to this, as none but persons of real and immense fortunes can or do subscribe and therefore insure my being able to go on with it.

I will have many difficulties to surmount for the next twelve months, I have not a doubt, as I am obliged to pay for everything as I go, and to be supported by exertions in collecting from the subscribers or the agents I must have; and by my painting which I assure thee keep up an appearance and a style of dress and expenses that, although I shun society as much as I dare do, is extremely cumbersome to my purse; but I think that after this first 12 months the business will be in such a train as to afford me more rest a great deal. I do not infer from this that I think it necessary that 12 months should elapse before I write to thee to come, I hope to be able to do so much sooner; but from many thoughts and recollecting, yet alas too pointedly present to my mind, I have no wish to have thee unless thou art convinced at being
comfortable in thy own way
.

It is probable that many blame me much in America for this
appearance
of carelessness and absence from my family, and the same doubtless think and say that I am pleasuring whilst thou art slaving thy life away, but can they know my hopes, my intentions, my wishes or my exertions to do well and for the best? I am sure they cannot, for they do not know me a jot: yet I have to bear the blame and hear of those things by various channels much to the loss of my peace. I now have reached that age when I think it unnecessary to take the advice of anyone but thyself, and will consequently follow no other. It is impossible to foresee if I may be induced to remain in England the rest of my life, or accidents may send me to America once more; but whatever takes place, and whatever my situation may be hereafter, I have, and will always have the consolation to think that I have done all I can, or could since my misfortunes in Kentucky, to restore thee to comfort.

The difference of habits between us are very different; so much so indeed, that what I conceive real comfort is misery to thee. Those are misfortunes indeed, but it is too late to take such things in consideration and I am still anxiously inclined to meet thy wishes and procure all I can for thy sake. I sometimes feel a great inclination to leave this work, so full of sorrow is my heart, when quite alone, dull and oppressed by thousands of recollections all more disagreeable to me than even the present moment; when I am checked by the thoughts, that some change for the better may take place, and that my peace and joy at seeing thee happy will be restored.

Comparatively speaking, thy present situation with mine is full of comforts. The constant sight of our John must grant to thee enjoyments that I never feel at this distance; it is merely by looking at his portrait and thine and by shedding tears that a glimpse of mixed pleasure is obtained, and that only whilst those dear images are before me. I feel as if I had no one who cares for me; those about me are all engaged in different ways from mine, I am indeed alone in the world. Could I be assured that my journals would reach thee safely I would send them, but I have fears of the contrary and were they to fall into the hands of strangers, it would be a source of everlasting sorrow to me, as they contain all my thoughts, my movements, in fact all my life as it passes on from day to day,
written as if the salvation of my soul depended on the accuracy and minuteness of those details that I am sure to anyone else but me or my sons after my death must be insipid quite.

Probably when I write again I will have 100 subscribers to my list and will have their names printed on my Prospectuses. I will then send thee some, as it may be agreeable for thee to see their names, or those institutions that have been pleased to confer me honors. Since here I have received 3 new diplomas. I have an immense number of notes from all kinds of individuals and on them very interesting seals. I would send them all to thee now but I must wait until I hear that what I have already forwarded thee has arrived. I am rather surprised that thou hast not said a word of the seal generally on my letters to thee, the figure of the Wild Turkey with “America my Country” round it. It is thought beautiful by everyone here. It was a present from that good, generous & benevolent friend of mine,
Lady Rathbone. Charles Bonaparte is a subscriber to my work; he told me that he would have it without pay. The Pope created him Prince of Musignano since he arrived in Europe this voyage. He does not keep any servants about him, indeed he goes almost incog., but is highly thought of by everybody, both for his titles and for his great talents.

I have of course procured an immense number of acquaintances in the literary range of society, but they are acquaintances only. It is probable that I will go to Paris this next autumn and so far as Frankfort in Germany, but only for a few weeks, and as it is yet so far distant thou willst hear of it in time.

I have filled up my paper a great deal now with many different subjects—if thou art pleased to have it copied and sent to Victor I would like it. I think Mr. Berthoud does not wish to write to me.
Robert Bakewell, the great wool man, resides 5 miles from this at a village called Hampstead. He has wrote several very kind letters to me, but he is confined to his house by the gout and no more attends any of the scientific meetings—I will see him soon.

Now my Dearest, my only friend, once more I must bid thee farewell and remind thee to take care of thy health and comforts [and] to make John remember me. Dear fellow what would I give in my power to have him or Victor with me! Do write, my Lucy, as frequently as possible, and say much in all thy letters! I am sure
I set a good example to thee when I send, as now, 8 sheets full. Before I close I will tell thee that I have been quite disappointed at the
theatres of London; they are neither so fine nor so well managed as those of America, although the multitudes that attend them is surprising. God for ever preserve and Bless thee.

Manchester, England

20 September 1827

My dearest friend,

I received thy letter of the 16th July about a week ago in
London and have ever since been very anxious to answer it fully.

The pleasure that I feel at seeing thy disposition to come to England is great, I assure thee, and I will always consider our meeting on this land as a consolidation of our affections.

I left London 4 days ago to take a grand tour to collect about five hundred and fifty pounds now due me by my
subscribers and to augment their number; I am glad to say that so far I am fortunate in both objects. I wrote to thee by my good friend
Vincent Nolte and ask of him to call & see thee, to acquaint thee more particularly than I can do by letter with what I am doing, and told him that I was in great hopes to see my way so clear by the 1st of January next that I would thus write to thee to come over to me. Thou must not think me, dearest friend, too tardy; I am, I assure thee, bent on thy future happiness; but I wish to make every thing quite certain before I write for thee. I will then forward thee the means of moving comfortably and will send thee not only letters for New York, but make such arrangements with my excellent friends, the Rathbones, as will ensure thee that comfort. But I beg of thee not to move or make any other arrangements in thy affairs than those at present existing until then. Thou may think this language cooler than usual but it is not so in reality. I am determined not to disappoint thee or my sons when you all come over. Should Mr. Nolte not go to thee, I think it would be well for thee to write to him at New Orleans and should thou go there on business to call on him thyself. I saw him at my rooms in London frequently. I esteem him much and he knows a good deal of my business.

I wrote thee long ago that I had removed my whole work to London. The advantages of that place are wonderful over those of Edinburgh or Paris, and my business is carried on as I wish it.
Since Mr. Nolte left, I had the great honor of receiving the particular
patronage, approbation and protection
of the King, who has become a subscriber also, and the next day through the same channel (
Sir Mathew Waller, Bart, K.C. &c.) sent word that her Royal Highness the
Duchess of Clarence wished also her name on my list. They are no better in my eye than any other two, but as the world goes, it must do me much good. Thou wilt see here my Prospectus and [the] names of all I have so far procured. With good care and management I have a clear profit of nearly five hundred pounds per annum on 100
subscribers and every new name adds in a ratio of about 1/3 more profit. I write to thee now by 3 different opportunities the same letter, so that one at least will arrive and give thee a good idea of what I am doing. I will be in
Liverpool as soon as I have completed my business here; then I will go northward through
Leeds,
York,
Newcastle and lastly to
Edinburgh to settle finally with Mr. Lizars. I wish to be back in London by the 15th of November, but will write to thee many times in the interim.

I sent an excellent 5 Keyed Flageolet to Victor & some music by Nolte … I have left [the Middlemist] house and removed in the same street to some rooms more appropriate to my present situation and where I hope to see thee next spring … The third Number of my work is now out and is so greatly superior to the first two that I am told by all those who see it that I will do well altogether. I have a great comfort, that all those persons who know me, all receive me, with the same kind manners every time we meet. Mr. Bentley is now absent from
Manchester and I am at a good friend’s house of the name of Sergeant—one of my subscribers, but really a friend.

I have had 2 Subscribers today … I wish Johnny would attempt to draw for me a male & female
Sparrow Hawk, or if he cannot, have him kill some & send them to me, I mean the skins. I wrote a long letter to Mr. Berthoud but never have received a word from him and only one letter from Victor … Try my sweet Lucy to make thyself happy. We will, I hope, soon meet again …

Liverpool, England

5 December 1827

My dearest Lucy,

Mr. Rathbone sent me this morning thy letter of the 23rd Sept. and I set at once to answer it, but previously will tell thee of duplicate and enormously long letters containing all I thought of, and could say, respecting my situation at present, my expectations and my hopes. One of those letters went off by the packet ship
Pacific
of New York; the other went by the brig
Elvira
,
Capt. Greece, in a small box directed to the care of Mr.
Charles Briggs, New Orleans, the box contained newspapers &c. and two cases which thy sister Anne bought for thee and for which I paid. I at the same time wrote a few lines to Mr. Brigg and hope that parcel or rather box will reach thee safely and the case may be to thy taste. Since those letters, no change of note has taken place in my situation.

I am here for a week or more to try to augment my subscribers … I assure thee, England is such a land of plenty that nothing is done or obtained without much trouble and expense.

Now, dearest girl, for my answer. The letter I wrote to Victor and which he sent to thee was written when indeed although in London I had the blues with a vengeance. But it would take 20 sheets to explain the reasons why I had the blues and I am sorry, quite sorry, dear wife, that then I should feel uncomfortable. I would wish thee for
once
and
forever
to believe that I
never
mean to cause thee pain whatever I may say or do. But often, when quite down and feeling as if forsaken, my heart as well as my spirits give way and I commit these errors which it seems must have filled my letter to Victor. However, generally I try to look at the bright side of everything, and I assure thee my hopes are still good, but I have much to [illegible]. Only think in what situation I came to England, without friends and but little money, and compare with that the success I have met with and the numerous friends … I must
have met. Think again of the expense I have been at continually and the traveling I have had to perform and the care I have been at constantly to promote my views and then thou wilt conceive if or not I have been without or with materials to think about, to raise & lower my spirits a thousand times.